Weight Loss Support - Days when you just want to give up




Beach Patrol
01-29-2012, 10:14 AM
...have come so far, but still so far to go :(

scale shows +5 lb :(

I know it's *most likely* water weight - too much sodium at last night's gathering with friends, and just re-started my weight lifting routine last week after a few months of very little exercise... so I know it's most likely that my muscles are holding onto water

but still

seeing that kind of jump on the scale...
after two months of a plateau (155, 156, 155, 157, 156, 156, 155, 158, 159, 156, etc...) (yes I weigh every day, I HAVE to keep myself accountable, it's the way I do it)

Sometimes I feel like I will never reach goal of 140/size 10
(& the fact that I *really* want to be 135/size 8ish just seems completely impossible so I settle for goal of 140/size 10)
might as well just accept 155ish/size 12 & be done with it
and hope to **** I don't gain it all back this time :(

It's just taking FOR-EVER to lose this **** weight. Going thru the pause (month 8 with no period) feeling old, wrinkly, saggy & pathetic ...& sad & "what's-the-point?" today :?:


kirsteng
01-29-2012, 10:28 AM
I'm sorry you're having a bad day. :hug: We all do... tomorrow will be better.

I think menopause brings up some powerful emotions in women.. there's so much wrapped up in it. Not just the loss of our fertility, but also it makes us consider our ageing... society's perception of ageing women.... attractiveness and sexuality... even our life goals as we contemplate that one part of our life is 'over'.

I wonder whether some of that stuff is playing a part for you, not just the actual number on the scale. ? I do understand your frustration when the numbers go up (especially in a big way lke that... HATE that!)... but at the same time you have been greatly successful at your weight loss and must be in a great place physically compared to when you started.

Or sometimes we just have a day (hormonal?) where things seem to affect us worse than other days... just grit your teeth and get through it. Tomorrow's coming. :hug:

SanityNow
01-29-2012, 10:51 AM
I know how you feel Beach, and we must always, always move forward. I think the problem is being focused on the outcome - weight - instead of process - eating really clean and exercising. It's not easy in today's society to eat plain, whole foods because there's just so much stuff out there and we are used to eating certain things based on nostalgia, social and emotional triggers. I bet if I ate only produce - fruits, veggies, beans - with the occasional lean meat (maybe), the weight would drop off more quickly. But it is easier to pick up a bagel on my way to the subway, or sit with a thing of ice cream instead of making a smoothie or steamed veggies, going out for a walk or getting on the floor to do some exercise. Then there's the female hormone thing which is always a pain, regardless of which side of the pause you're on.

I weigh every day, too. When I was dropping weight continuously I though it was the best thing ever. Now I'm stalling a bit and think it's a bad idea !

The changes in diet and exercise Have To Be Permanent or else the weight will return. It's like being some sort of addict who has to make a clean break from the old lifestyle in order to stay straight.

I dont' know whether I'm writing to you or to myself at this point...I think the great thing about 3FC is that posting can be like therapy, can aid in behavior modification and reinforce to us what we need to do.

Don't throw in the towel, Beach. A month from now you may be doing the happy dance :carrot:. Regroup, set up a plan for the week, and keep the ball rolling :)


MzMoMo
01-29-2012, 11:01 AM
Sorry you are having a bad day :hug:. We are all do. Just realize that tomorrow is a new day and you have already proven with your current weight loss success that you can do this. Take a deep breath, dig deep and rock this weight loss journey! You may not be where you want to be yet, but look how far you have come...

luckymommy
01-29-2012, 12:10 PM
:hug: I think it's great that you came here to talk about your feelings. I get how frustrating this whole journey can be and you will bounce back and get motivated again. The key is to stick it out through those tough times....and it sounds like you're doing that, so kudos to you!

I've also been weighing daily for accountability, but I've decided to take a break. I figure that as long as I can stick to my plan, it will be easier not to weigh. Lately, the scale has not been my friend and I've dealt with my frustrations by going off track, creating a self-fulfilling prophecy. From your post, it doesn't seem like you'd want to take a break from weighing, but I thought I'd just tell you what I'm doing, for what it's worth. :^:

Hang tough and it will get better. You clearly know what you're doing.

novangel
01-29-2012, 12:41 PM
I swear the 150's are the hardest rut to get out of...been stuck here for years. :hug:

thistoo
01-29-2012, 12:48 PM
I'm in the same boat with regaining and starting over. I can tell you that once I got back to my higher intensity workouts (and stopped phoning it in with the strength training) my weight was barely inching down for a couple weeks. One pound a week! I was really disheartened, thinking it was going to take forever to get the weight back off.

But after a couple weeks, once my body got used to the higher intensity again, things started moving faster. I'm down five pounds since January 10th, which is practically unheard of for me.

What I'm saying is hang in there, because once you readjust to your strength training routine, you'll start losing the weight again.

aliasihaya
01-29-2012, 01:08 PM
Yeah, I hear ya. I feel like every other day is that way for me. I've been bouncing around 10 pounds of weight loss and no further. I keep thinking that it's just not meant to be for me. I'm trying not to get discouraged but it's hard. But I'm trying to push forward. I'm sure you will too. Just keep thinking about how far you've come. I think that's awesome! Good Luck!

makingthechanges
01-29-2012, 01:18 PM
I think the problem is being focused on the outcome - weight - instead of process - eating really clean and exercising.
The changes in diet and exercise Have To Be Permanent or else the weight will return. It's like being some sort of addict who has to make a clean break from the old lifestyle in order to stay straight.

I dont' know whether I'm writing to you or to myself at this point...I think the great thing about 3FC is that posting can be like therapy, can aid in behavior modification and reinforce to us what we need to do.

Don't throw in the towel, Beach. A month from now you may be doing the happy dance :carrot:. Regroup, set up a plan for the week, and keep the ball rolling :)

I completely agree with this, especially the first quoted sentence. Beach, you have had such great success already- I know it's easier said than done, but maybe if you try to focus on all the positives of what you've already accomplished instead of where you have to go, it will help you stay motivated. You know how to do the physical stuff to lose, obviously. Attack staying motivated with the same determination you used to get you where you are. Really work at reminding yourself of all the positive things you're doing, and maybe it will help you get over the emotional danger of being frustrated with the plateau.

Sometimes I feel like I will never reach goal of 140/size 10 Did you ever think you'd be where you are now, though? Did you ever think, when you started at 192, that you would be UNHAPPY with 155? You WILL reach your goal if you let yourself. :hug:

lin43
01-29-2012, 04:29 PM
Sometimes I feel like I will never reach goal of 140/size 10 (& the fact that I *really* want to be 135/size 8ish just seems completely impossible so I settle for goal of 140/size 10) might as well just accept 155ish/size 12 & be done with it and hope to **** I don't gain it all back this time :(

We all hope the latter for ourselves, too. I just started maintenance a couple of months ago & have been starving even at the higher calorie range. I live in fear of regaining.

But here's a thought: Why not take a diet "break," i.e., figure out what your maintenance calories would be for your current weight and eat at that level for a couple of weeks? Then, lower your calories back down to your losing level. There are a couple of potential benefits to doing this: 1) it gives you a sort of mental break from having to be so restrictive w/ calories; 2) I've heard that doing this maintenance-then-switch-to-losing-calories thing shakes things up sometimes and gets you back to losing (you mentioned that you were experience a plateau).

It's just taking FOR-EVER to lose this **** weight. Going thru the pause (month 8 with no period) feeling old, wrinkly, saggy & pathetic ...& sad & "what's-the-point?" today :?:

Well, I remember that picture you posted a while back, and there's no way you look "wrinkly, saggy, & pathetic." In fact, I could almost not believe you were 48. Seriously. I showed your picture to my husband and told him to guess your age and he said 31 or 32. I'm jealous! I'm a few years younger than you, but you could be my younger sister.

Hang in there. You know we've all been through these down periods (and will be again in the future). The successful ones are those that push through them. Don't give up.

Beach Patrol
01-30-2012, 10:07 AM
Thank you everyone! - I needed to hear all of that! - this is why it's good to come here when you're feeling down or like you just can't make it another day; lots of good support here!

special thanks to the following for something said that really rung a bell for me!

kirsteng: I think menopause brings up some powerful emotions in women.. there's so much wrapped up in it. Not just the loss of our fertility, but also it makes us consider our ageing... society's perception of ageing women.... attractiveness and sexuality... even our life goals as we contemplate that one part of our life is 'over'.
Yes, yes, yes! While I don't morn the loss of fertility, I do feel all that other pain...the thing about society's perception of aging, attractiveness & sexuality, etc. UGH. And I'm sure that's a huge part of what I'm feeling.


SanityNow: I think the problem is being focused on the outcome - weight - instead of process - eating really clean and exercising.
You are SO right! I'm going to try to focus more on what I'm DOING than the OUTCOME I'm shooting for. Thanks for that!!!


makingthechanges: Did you ever think you'd be where you are now, though? Did you ever think, when you started at 192, that you would be UNHAPPY with 155?
You know, it's weird. I remember a few years back when I hit a high of 152. I felt sooooooooo fat. And now, I don't consider it that bad. And I do remember at 192 how I *wished* I was 152 again! Thanks for the perspective, there!!!


lin43: I remember that picture you posted a while back, and there's no way you look "wrinkly, saggy, & pathetic." In fact, I could almost not believe you were 48. Seriously. I showed your picture to my husband and told him to guess your age and he said 31 or 32. I'm jealous! I'm a few years younger than you, but you could be my younger sister.
That is so sweet! Thank you for that! You really made me smile!!!

So see? You all really did help me a lot. Yesterday was just a totally bad day for me, but I'm glad I have 3FC to come to when I'm having those kinds of days! :goodvibes

djs06
01-30-2012, 12:48 PM
Glad to hear you're feeling better today! Those days are the worst. I don't have anything particularly wise to say, but wanted to add my empathy! :hug:

MikeP
02-01-2012, 12:38 AM
Just don't give up.

JudgeDread
02-01-2012, 09:16 AM
Well with a plateau you have to try even harder. Hard to think about since you have been so good. You body has adjusted to your intake and needs more of a deficiet.

Unfortunately for women we get screwed on calories. Before your 30 an average woman burns 2000 base calories a day. After 30 you drop down to 1800 calories! And after 50 I believe it was...1600 per day! BOOO!

So that is why weight loss is EXTRA hard for women. It's always about 200 calories less than men at any age. So keep in mind your age and remember you have to make a good deficit below that base rate with calorie reduction and/or more exercise.

Lunula
02-01-2012, 09:32 AM
I completely understand how you feel. I started this leg of my "get fit" journey last January - so a full year ago - and I am still not at goal. In fact, I checked my progress (I'm doing WW online) and I weighed 160 on Nov 18, and through many holiday parties and trips, I gained and lost the same few pounds over & over. I get frustrated as heck with myself that in 3 months, I've done nothing...not a plateau, just poor choices.

For me, the key has been really, truly, honestly not comparing my status with others. I come here to read others' stories and it is difficult not to kick myself in the rear when I hear about someone losing 100 lbs in a year - and I still have (at least) 20 to go.

I have never sustained success for an entire year before. That gives me inspiration. Yes, I still have work to do, but honestly, I'll have a lot of work after I get to goal, too - so I look at this time as practice. :) Truth is, I may not be dropping pounds like I was and it is harder now to stay focused, but I'm actually learning how to maintain, and that's a good thing.

Try, really really try, not to get bogged down in the day-to-day, week-to-week gains & losses. Pat yourself on the back when you drop a couple and recommitt when you gain.

I turned 40 last year and that was what sparked this metamorphosis - call it a mid-life crisis, I guess - but it is the best decision I've ever made. It is slow, but I learn something new almost every day.