Weight Loss Support - Stop telling me I'm not fat!




View Full Version : Stop telling me I'm not fat!


Aileen
09-09-2011, 08:09 PM
With my current BMI I am only just barely out of the obese category (obese is BMI of 30, my BMI is 29). I am in the overweight category, which will be followed by the moderately overweight category, and then FINALLY the healthy category. A whole bunch of lbs away from where I am now.

I don't complain about my weight on a regular basis to everyone. But anytime someone offers me junk food and I politely decline, wants to share an appetizer and I pass, or asks why I'm running and presses the issue, I tell them because I'm trying to lose weight to be fit and healthy.

And you know what they say? Every time, without fail, "you're not fat".

I'm fat. I know and I'm dealing with it.

Does anyone else find this infuriating? :devil:


EagleRiverDee
09-09-2011, 08:22 PM
No, but the reason I don't is because people that say "You're not fat" are really saying, "Validate me. Validate my choice to eat this." They want you to do it, so they can do it without feeling guilty and weak. Or if they are overweight, they say you're not fat so they don't have to feel fat either. At least, that's how I take it. I usually avoid the weight loss topic and simply say that my doctor has me on a special diet for my health and that I'm not suppose to eat that. People typically won't try and argue with your doctor. That is, of course, assuming I don't give in to temptation first!

Snoofie
09-09-2011, 08:24 PM
I made a post very similar to this a little while ago! Yes, this happens to me all the time, and it drives me insane. Most of my friends and family know I've been trying to lose weight for about 7 months, and I cannot count how many times I've heard "Well, you must be done with it now." And when I say, "Well, no, I still have quite a ways to go to reach my goal", they'll be shocked and say something like "But my god, if you lose much more you'll disappear!"

Yeah, because at 5 feet and 163 pounds, I'm practically anorexic-looking, I'm sure.

I know how aggravating it can be to hear "But you're not big/fat!!" I know some people would say that it's nothing to get bothered by, that the people who make comments like that aren't trying to be annoying, but...like, I don't know about you, but I *know* I'm overweight. I don't need anyone trying to spare my feelings. Yes, I know that for some reason, I don't look as big as I am, but the fact remains that I am still almost 40 pounds overweight.

Long story short: Yeah, I know what you mean. I'm right there with you. *L*


Aileen
09-09-2011, 08:33 PM
Nothing drives me more insane. I actually prefer the people who yell at me that I'm fat out their car windows when I'm out for a jog...sure, it's rude, but at least they're honest. I also find that more motivating. When that stops maybe I'll be close to my goal.

EagleRiverDee
09-09-2011, 08:34 PM
Nothing drives me more insane. I actually prefer the people who yell at me that I'm fat out their car windows when I'm out for a jog...sure, it's rude, but at least they're honest. I also find that more motivating. When that stops maybe I'll be close to my goal.

Dang. People can be mean. :(

JohnP
09-09-2011, 08:39 PM
This will only get worse.

The closer you get to your goal weight the more you will hear this when you refuse food so just tell them "No thank you I'm not hungry" and if they push it ask if they're looking for validation so they can eat it.

Once you turn it around they'll stop immediately. :D

kaplods
09-09-2011, 08:53 PM
If someone said "You're beautiful," would you be infuriated and say "no I'm not, I believe I'm ugly and I expect you to agree with me."

If a child or very short person said, "Wow, you're tall," would you get angry and say "no, I'm short and I expect you to agree with me."

Fat, when used as an adjective, like most adjectives, is in the eye of the beholder. It's a matter of perspective, and just because some people do not believe you are fat, doesn't mean that you have to share that belief or get angry at their belief.

Your starting weight is higher than my current and perhaps even my ultimate goal weight. I have a photo of me in my early 20's at around 225 lbs. I consider it my "smokin' hot" picture, and I really would love to get to that weight.

If I do decide to stop at 225 lbs, I'm not going to let others opinions hurt or anger me. You might say (or think), "You're still really fat, obese even."

I don't have to care what you or anyone else things, and you don't have to, either. You don't need everyone or anyone to agree with your assessment of any situation. You can share your opinion if you want, and others get to also.

I once told a coworker that I was frustrated with the difficulty finding "apropriate business clothes when you're fat." The woman blurted out, "you're not fat," and I started laughing so hard I nearly peed my pants.
(After all, I weighed nearly 400 lbs, on what planet is that not fat.)

She turned bright red, and snapped "You know what I mean," and yes (sadly) I did. In our culture "fat" is such a horrible, awful, disgusting word that anyone as smart, funny, and nice as I was couldn't possible be something so terrible (and I'll grudgingly accept any euphemism except fluffy).

Some people don't see the fat, because their ideal of beauty is fatter than yours. Others see fat as a word so foul and blasphemous that a good person can't be a fat person, they have to be something else.

Would you really be happy if someone said, "I know I'm offering everyone else food, but I'm not going to offer any to you, because Geez, you are still quite fat. You're not going to stop dieting any time soon are you? Because wow you really still need to lose a LOT."


I know that's an exageration, but it all boils to the same thing. People have opinions, and they share them. They'll tell you that you should "live a little" and spend more money - or suggest you spend less. Or share their opinions on a billion topics upon which you disagree. You don't have to get angry whenever someone has a different opinion than you do, and in fact if you do, you'll be angry all of the time.


I know the issue was also food pushing, but no one has to know you're on any type of diet. In fact, when you use your diet as an excuse, people feel obligated to say "you've got to live a little, just this once on't hurt." If you say, "no thank you, I don't want any." Only the most stubborn people will continue to push. And if you want a line that will stop all but the most dedicated of food pushers, I'd recommend trying, "I would, it looks great, but I'm feeling a little nauseous." And if that doesn't stop them, tell a graphic story about the last time you let someone talk you into eating when you didn't want to, how you vomitted on the person. If you tell it well enough, no one will ever offer you food twice.

Mimzzy
09-09-2011, 08:55 PM
I hate it to, it mostly my friends and family that do it. My mom constantly tries to tempt me with foods I shouldn't be eating or to come have a late dinner with her. Whenever I refuse she says something along the lines of if I lose anymore weight I will look anorexic and be too skinny. Which is ridiculous, I am just barely in my healthy weight range and I still have a long way to go to be what I want to be. No matter how much I try and explain to her she just shakes her head at me. I think she is just insecure that she has been gaining weight lately due to her extremely poor eating habits. I strongly believe that it's due to people being insecure about themselves.

kelly585
09-09-2011, 09:20 PM
No, but the reason I don't is because people that say "You're not fat" are really saying, "Validate me. Validate my choice to eat this." They want you to do it, so they can do it without feeling guilty and weak. Or if they are overweight, they say you're not fat so they don't have to feel fat either. At least, that's how I take it. I usually avoid the weight loss topic and simply say that my doctor has me on a special diet for my health and that I'm not suppose to eat that. People typically won't try and argue with your doctor. That is, of course, assuming I don't give in to temptation first!

I totally agree with this point!

kelly315
09-09-2011, 09:53 PM
I've seen a lot of people posting similar complaints on here, and I think it brings to light several major issues with our society and weight. First is the fact that a lot of people have brought up here, that "normal sized" or "plus sized" people will often tend to discourage others from losing weight. It's basic psychology of self-validation and lifestyle-validation. Other's weight loss can call our own life choices into question, and we sometimes make those comments from a selfish place.

But, secondly, we also have to remember that those comments don't always come from a selfish place. Opinions on what is "too thin" vary widely, and once you get under a certain weight, it is inevitable that certain people are going to think you're too thin (while others will think you're not thin enough). It's just the nature of opinions, and it doesn't mean that the people who disapprove of certain weights are doing so simply because of insecurities about their own weights. We all have a certain level of thinness which we judge to be "too thin," unattractive and unhealthy looking, but it's far from universal. Parents are usually notorious for telling their children off about their weight, and we have to remember that they come from a different culture than our own, one in which an attractive woman meant something very different than it does today.

Which brings me to another point- "thin" people often face as much prejudice as "fat" people, only it comes from different places. For some people, a normal sized or thin person talking about dieting is the same as a fat person binging right in front of them. Are they feeling threatened by the other person's thinness? Perhaps, for some of them. Others might be turned off by what appears to be the vanity of the situation. The vast majority of people are uncomfortable around displays of vanity, and the implicit judgmental nature and self-consciousness of the vain. Now, I'm not saying that losing weight means you're vain, not at all. And many people wouldn't use the word "vanity" to describe it at all. By vanity, I mean generally caring about how you look. It's amazing how hard we have to try in order to look like we're not trying in this country! But in general, Americans tend to be put-off when people seem like they are trying.

And to my last point, the fact that we can't really judge ourselves. First of all, you have no perspective to say whether you're really "fat" or not. How often do you actually see your body? five minutes a day? Two? Most likely, it's even less. If you were another person looking at yourself, would you label yourself the same way? Would you call that girl fat? No, of course not. The BMI can be a helpful tool in general terms, but in most cases, it's highly flawed. Just look at this website, which shows just how arbitrary the system seems. Some of the women on it who look perfectly healthy are labeled as obese, while some women who look sickly are labeled as normal.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/77367764@N00/sets/72157602199008819/

As you continue to lose weight, I'm sure you'll experience more events like this one that make you see just how complex weight issues are in this society. And all that being said, I think I can speak for most of the people at 3fc in saying that you have a right to pick the weight at which you feel healthy and beautiful, in spite of all of society's hold-ups about thinness or fatness.

LiannaKole
09-10-2011, 03:56 AM
I don't think I've ever had anyone tell me I'm not fat. It went from no comments at all (because I was fat and no one said anything), to people calling me skinny when I got down to ~140 around Xmas, to people actually DEMANDING that I stop losing weight. An elderly relative whom I love actually pulled me aside and, with a worried look at me, asked me to PROMISE her that I would stop losing weight. Accidentally, I did what she asked (and gained!). Lol! But I'm working my way back down!

When I was a barely healthy weight, people thought I was too skinny and were worried because they remembered what I had been like before. I'd been fat for a long time, and thinner for not so long. The contrast is what throws people most often.

OP, you've lost quite a bit of weight, and I'm SURE it shows. It could be that people aren't used to it yet. When people say something to me that's something like "you're not fat" or "you're so thin," I say thanks and change the subject. It's their opinion. Acknowledge and move on is my usual plan. You can also emphasize your health. Just say you're eating healthy and want to get more fit. Sometimes that helps.

Good luck! And congrats on your weight loss so far!

Lovely
09-10-2011, 04:11 AM
Nope. Never found it infuriating whatsoever.

Sometimes found it a little silly, but never upsetting.

In fact, it has occasionally been a little boost (whether they sincerely mean it or not) when they say "You don't need to lose weight, you look wonderful!"

I do know that I need to lose weight to be healthier, and would never stop simply because of a compliment, but at the same time said person assumed I was feeling down about myself and tried to cheer me up.

It wasn't the case that I was feeling down about myself, but it was a very lovely, human thing to do to care about my feelings and want to make me feel better even temporarily.

Why would I begrudge someone trying to make me feel good?

Esofia
09-10-2011, 04:35 AM
Irritating more than infuriating, but yes. I am heartily sick of having to cope with other people's insecurities, sometimes at some length, because I mentioned a simple fact about myself. If you think it's bad with weight loss, try disability. Not only do you get the weird panicky reactions, but people tend to be a lot nosier and offer a lot more completely uncalled for pseudo-medical advice as well, in my experience. And then there are the people who want to rant at you for half an hour if you mention that you're queer or Jewish, they're fun too.

I'm getting much better at stopping this sort of thing in its tracks, but I would dearly love not to have to deal with it at all. It would be wonderful to be able to say, "Sorry, I'm losing weight/I can't do that because I'm disabled," and get nothing more than, "Oh, fair enough then," as a response, or be able to use a walking stick or wheelchair without people jumping in and commenting on it. I think it's a clear sign of being in an oppressed/socially disfavoured group when people feel that they have the right to breach the usual etiquette about privacy in this way.

kaplods - good point, but the difference in your case is that you had actually applied the term "fat" to yourself. That's very different from politely declining food, and then being pressed for an explanation, and then having that explanation argued with.

ShesLosingIt
09-10-2011, 08:18 AM
I've been having the same thing happen and it bothers me because I *know* I'm still not at a completely healthy weight. But I notice all the people that say things like "you're getting SO skinny" or "you've disappeared" or "You're going to vanish into thin if you get any smaller" are all people that have issues with their own weight so I really do believe it comes back to their OWN insecurities.

I'm 5'7 and 219 lbs - I bike a LOT so yes, I tend to look smaller on the bottom due to all the muscles I've built up but I still don't look *that* small so the fact that anyone could say "You're going to disappear" or "you're looking anorexic" just amazes me because it's a baldfaced lie. If I was 5'7 and 140/120/100 lbs then I could see the anorexic comment holding water but 200 lbs +? Give me a break.

lin43
09-10-2011, 08:53 AM
Nope. Never found it infuriating whatsoever.

Sometimes found it a little silly, but never upsetting.

In fact, it has occasionally been a little boost (whether they sincerely mean it or not) when they say "You don't need to lose weight, you look wonderful!"

I do know that I need to lose weight to be healthier, and would never stop simply because of a compliment, but at the same time said person assumed I was feeling down about myself and tried to cheer me up.

It wasn't the case that I was feeling down about myself, but it was a very lovely, human thing to do to care about my feelings and want to make me feel better even temporarily.

Why would I begrudge someone trying to make me feel good?


^^This has been my experience as well. The only time I get annoyed is if I believe that the person is saying those things to really get me to eat something I shouldn't. That rarely happens, though. Actually, at this point, so few people have noticed my weight loss, that I'm grateful for any of those types of comments (more and more people are starting to notice, though---Yay!!)

April Snow
09-10-2011, 09:00 AM
It hasn't happened to me yet, but I suspect it will - I've been overweight since I was a kid so the only reality people have for comparison is the heavy me. I suspect that in another 20-25 lbs, I may start getting comments like this. Not because I won't still be fat at ~200 lbs, but because it's going to be a big enough change from what was my normal weight that there is cognitive dissonance and people will still have a mental picture of me at 260+ in their head, and yeah, the 200 lb me will seem somehow too small/small enough in comparison to that.

I think the best thing is to simply say thanks and change the subject - after all, it's basically a compliment saying you look good. But you certainly don't need any one's permission to continue to work towards the goal you want for yourself (and for the OP, it's certainly a healthy goal for your height)

April Snow
09-10-2011, 09:04 AM
And to my last point, the fact that we can't really judge ourselves. First of all, you have no perspective to say whether you're really "fat" or not. How often do you actually see your body? five minutes a day? Two? Most likely, it's even less. If you were another person looking at yourself, would you label yourself the same way? Would you call that girl fat? No, of course not. The BMI can be a helpful tool in general terms, but in most cases, it's highly flawed. Just look at this website, which shows just how arbitrary the system seems. Some of the women on it who look perfectly healthy are labeled as obese, while some women who look sickly are labeled as normal.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/77367764@N00/sets/72157602199008819/


this was really interesting. I don't think I considered anyone who was labeled as obese to look perfectly healthy. But for sure, the ones who were overweight did! And IMO, the majority of them looked better than the majority of those labeled as normal.

I still haven't figured out my final goal yet. There was definitely part of me thinking that I wanted to try to achieve a normal BMI. But after looking at those photos, I'm not so sure about that now!

runningfromfat
09-10-2011, 09:10 AM
Others have said it pretty well already but I think it boils down to a few things:

- Various perceptions of what fat looks like to people. I liked the link kelly posted and was surprised by my own reactions. I'd look at the picture and then try to guess where they were. Most of the time I was pretty accurate but there were a few times that I was shocked that someone was considered overweight/obese and would've thought that they were a category down from where they were. There were actually one or two times that I was surprised somebody was listed as normal because I thought they were overweight. And there was also one girl who I was really surprised was underweight. This is coming from someone who's lost weight and has been in all those categories (with the exception of underweight) so I agree it really is hard to tell.

- It's also somewhat of an automatic comment. Like Kaploids and others said too, fat can be considered a "bad" word so others like you as a person and wouldn't want to associate that with you or like Lovely said that they may think you're feeling down about yourself and just want to cheer you up.

- I could be insecurities too but I don't like to assume that in general. I like to think the best of people and it seems sort of devious to think that everyone wants you to eat more so they feel better about themselves. It could be the case but I think to think that it's rare. ;)

- And, of course, I think the gradient is SO important. Just watch a season of biggest loser! I remember having a hard time believing some of the contestants are still in the 200's because I remember how they looked in the beginning and they look so different later on that your mind wants to believe they are already at a healthy weight. It's just hard to reconcile the images in your head.

downsizer55
09-10-2011, 09:50 AM
This is a topic that will always ellicit different points of views and ALL of them
will be valid. The problem I have had with the "you don't need to lose any more weight" is that the *last time* I did this ......I believed it. That led to my downfall and I gained most of the weight back that I had lost. *This time* around I am doing it and trying very hard to accept the comments but use my own judgement. I think the opinion of people having seen us heavy for so long just aren't used to or comfortable with seeing us thin is the real issue.
That being said, just take it as a compliment and keep doing what YOU want to do.

my2cats
09-10-2011, 09:53 AM
I think you have to take the social context into account too - I can easily see myself being guilty of this if someone came up to me and said "Oh I am so fat!". Because 90% of the time this is someone fishing for a compliment who will actually be offended if you agree with them. The "socially polite" thing to do is say something about how they're not actually large and then keep the conversation going.

Also when people say "Oh you're melting away!" or "You'll vanish if you lose any more weight!" - this is just how some people give compliments. :) Unless they are taking you aside and trying to have a serious talk about how you're becoming anorexic, I wouldn't take it as anything more. Would you get annoyed if someone said "Wow I love that dress, the color is just amazing!" Is the color really 'amazing'? Are they actually awe-struck by your dress? I would guess they like it, but are not actually flummoxed by how such a wonderful color could even exist. I will say, tone plays a big role here. If someone is telling you "You'll vanish" and clucking over you negatively, then I'd probably roll my eyes a bit - but still wouldn't consider myself offended unless they start down the road of 'You won't look as good if you keep losing weight'.

Just my two cents - I agree if someone is trying to get you to eat a cupcake by telling you you're not fat, that's annoying. But don't take a well-meant compliment as some sort of underhanded sabotage attempt.

thinner
09-10-2011, 10:06 AM
well, the "healthy bmi" range can look anorexic on some people. if i ever got to the low end of it, i'm sure i'd be showing my skeleton. that might attract more men and get me some compliments, but i'm not sure that i intend to work to get there. bmi was a theory that was based on every body shape being the same, and at all sizes, using one inch heels, and doesn't account for muscle composition. the only consideration i give to it is what i have to because i live in america; unfortunately the doctors have adopted it for a one-size-fits-all. i am going for what i want to see in my mirror, and i don't want my body to have to do extra work by hauling unnecessary weight around, regardless of what a bmi chart says.

i suspect a general reason for people saying things like "oh no you're not big" is due to the subcultures where "big" is more accepted than in others. so when someone defies that and gets skinnier, it draws attention. if you are in a family/area/whatever where weight has never been emphasized and you suddenly start changing yours, you will be looked at like "whut??". and then too, as someone said, "fat" has negative connotations and friends won't say you are "fat" even if you are. for me, i'd rather deal with those kinds of comments instead of the "wow!! you look so good now i didn't recognize you!!!!"

SanityNow
09-10-2011, 10:06 AM
What's interesting to me is that most people who make weight comments - in any context - aren't close friends or anything like that, they are typically neighbors or others I see once in a while & my weight is none of their business. One woman remarked to me that she always had a boney behind and could I give her a couple of pounds! I looked at her as though she was speaking another language and that was the end of that. As far as food-pushers, I've used the 'I'm a bit off today' with a scrunched face and that usually ends that. Talking about wanting to be healthy, etc. usually starts a big discussion that goes nowhere.

Beach Patrol
09-10-2011, 10:36 AM
I tend to think when someone says "you're not fat" it's more of a "niceity" -you know, being "polite", than anything else. Of course, if someone says that & they are fatter than me, then I tend to think that person doesn't consider me to be fat in comparison. And if someone says that while pushing food at me, I am very inclined to say "thanks, but my *** doesn't need that right now." :D

But in general, it doesn't make me angry. Sometimes mildly annoyed, depending on my mood. Mostly I just ignore it.

ennay
09-10-2011, 05:05 PM
I've had people tell me that the weight I gained is "just muscle" I apparently am inhaling steroids in the air I breathe since I can put on 20+lbs of "just muscle" in merely a few months.

It's not necessarily self validation. Some people are also compulsive "encouragers". And by that I mean they always MUST say things like "you arent fat!" or "are you kidding? you did SUCH a great job!" (when you came up massively short of a goal). They simply can not handle "negative" and are incapable of seeing simple statements of possibly undesirable FACTS as neutral and feel compelled to counteract with "compliments" that often seem more patronizing than complimentary. This is the girl who will tell you that you look fabulous when your face is broken out and you were behind on laundry so you pulled out a pair of acid washed high waist jeans from 1985. If they think the truth might hurt, even if YOU say it first, they will refute it.

Napia
09-10-2011, 05:47 PM
Yep, I've gotten that before. I remember when I was first diagnosed as diabetic, I got serious about fitness, healthy eating and losing weight. And lose weight I did. With the help of a nutritionist and some serious exercise, I dropped 60 lbs in about four months. That sounds like a lot of weight and it was but dang I still weighed 180 lbs. I'm 5'4". That's just too much fat on such a short frame.

I would turn down food and people would always counter that I didn't need to lose any more weight. Ha! but I did. Never did though. I hit my plateau right after that and after about six months of seeing nothing move on the scale, I gave up. I kept it off for quite awhile though but I eventually gained all but 20lbs back.

I've been back at the weight loss efforts for about a year now. I finally broke a nine-month plateau and have lost about 7 pounds in about a week. Still shaking my head at that. I'm getting compliments all over the place. I'm getting firmer and losing inches. In fact, I actually went down a pant size BEFORE I saw the scale move.

Now when I look in the mirror I still see rolls of fat. Stomach fat. Back fat. Jello thighs and arms. Sure my clothes fit better, but I know the real deal. The scale and the mirror tell no tales. LOL.

I have to say though, the "You don't need to lose any more weight." or "You're not fat." comments don't bother me nearly as much as the people who try to thrust food on me JUST because it makes them somehow feel better to have someone accept what they're offering. I often turn down food simply because I'm diabetic, and I'm just not trying to run my blood sugar up.

I can't tell you how many times I've politely turned down food, and then have to turn it down repeatedly trying my best NOT to give an explanation. Just simply, "No thank you." But people always want to counter with, "Ooooh it's so good...etc., etc., etc." I finally have to tell people, "It's ok, no, I'm diabetic."

Then they're like "Oh! I'm sorry! I didn't know." You know all apologetic and embarrased. Oh well too bad so sad. If you'd taken my first or even my second decline or even my third decline and kept it moving I wouldn't have had to reveal my disease just to get you to leave me alone.

But honestly, while I find food pushers rather annoying at times, it's usually done with good intentions. I don't think I've ever met anyone who was doing it just to be mean.

However, I do get HIGHLY annoyed at people who KNOW I'm diabetic and repeatedly ask me if I want pie or something so obviously not good for me because of my condition. Those people (this guy at work in particular) annoys the H E L L out of me. LOL!

Aileen
09-10-2011, 06:12 PM
Napia-I agree with you, the food pushers are the ones who drive me crazy. This normally happens to me at work and also when I visit family. These people want to feed everyone the same stuff with no regard for a simple 'no, thanks', nearly always pressing the issue until I reveal that I'm trying to stick to a diet....I don't go here, but I'm also a recovering overeater and certain foods will trigger a binge. I know some people can have a cupcake and then carry on maintaining a healthy diet..but for me one cupcake might be the beginning of a binge.

Thanks everyone for the comments on this. And I do respect that there are different definitions of fat (I don't think of 'fat' as such a bad thing, I don't like it, but I don't attach a lot of the negative connotations to the word that society does, I am fat, but I've never been lazy or a slob or anything of the other negative **** that people assume fat people are--I'm just fat). This is my judgment of myself too...I know BMI or weight is not always an accurate measure of health, but I know by looking at me and how I feel that I am fat. I have 40-60lbs to lose, not 5lbs.

Kelly-Those BMI pictures were great..there were a few really surprising ones.

iaradajnos
09-11-2011, 09:55 AM
My office has been the worst of places for the "wasting away" comments or refusal to take a "no, thank you". It was really bad when I first lost 40 pounds in eight months. I changed so much visually. I was still heavier than several officemates who I don't think anyone called "anorexic". I gained a bit the next year after an injury. I've worked off most of that with about ten pounds left to get to my last low weight.

Nowadays, I don't tell people I'm still trying to lose weight. If anyone notices that I'm thinner, I tell them I'm just wearing a new top or toning up a bit or something. They accept the statement of losing 15 pounds is "toning" because they really seem to not know.

However, when pushed with food, I usually say "Thanks, I just stuffed myself so am super full". At another office that I have to go for meetings alot, they have CHEESE PIZZA and DARK CHOCOLATE and CAKE and other horrible trigger foods for me. I really have to be careful there because they push food like the worst kinds of junkies. I often walk away having eaten the least horrible of their food but feel bad because I went "full" and drank tons of water to prevent ANY nibbling. These folks are, sorry to say, my worst health enemies.

Officemates, this time around, aren't forcing food as much, saying you're wasting away, or anything. Partly, I think it's because people have now seen me very heavy, heavy, "thin", a bit heavy, and now "thinner". I don't think they'll be as surprised or unused to a "thin" me.

Also, my office--a municipal health department--is the home of a national model of healthy active living program. Over the years, more officemates are willing to try losing weight. They know it's hard. They've given up, tried again, and have started to see their own reasons to get healthy.

I think this time around, I seem less shocking but also folks are more educated by "thin" and "overweight". Considering how careful I am with eating/exercise now and still losing extremely slowly, I doubt I'll SHOCK anyone as I continue to lose more weight.

Napia
09-11-2011, 11:45 PM
^^^Ha! One of the reasons I don't have a hard time with all the food that floats around my office from time to time is that I work with a bunch or repairmen. ALL MEN. Their jobs are nasty. They're sweaty and funky from being out and about repairing commercial laundry machines or they're working out in the funky, sweaty warehouse reconditioning machine. So when they come into the breakroom, I know dang well they have NOT washed their hands. Probably not even when they go to the bathroom.

If I was not inclined to get first dibs then you can forget it. I don't want NUTHIN' out of that breakroom that they could have possibly put their hands on.

These folks are NASTY with a capital N. LOL!

Beach Patrol
09-12-2011, 11:19 AM
^^^Ha! One of the reasons I don't have a hard time with all the food that floats around my office from time to time is that I work with a bunch or repairmen. ALL MEN. Their jobs are nasty. They're sweaty and funky from being out and about repairing commercial laundry machines or they're working out in the funky, sweaty warehouse reconditioning machine. So when they come into the breakroom, I know dang well they have NOT washed their hands. Probably not even when they go to the bathroom.

If I was not inclined to get first dibs then you can forget it. I don't want NUTHIN' out of that breakroom that they could have possibly put their hands on.

These folks are NASTY with a capital N. LOL!


HA!!!
that's GROSS, extremely unappetizing, and hey, kinda funny!!! :rofl: And what a great "diet tool"! :D

GonnaTurnHeads
09-12-2011, 05:28 PM
This is exactly why I avoid telling people that I'm losing weight. I don't want the arguments against it that I was getting when I was more vocal about my efforts.

Now, people are noticing my weight loss and bring it up themselves. I get a lot of questions like "How are you doing it?" and "How much more do you want to lose?"

I answer everything honestly - I'm losing it painfully slowly by exercising and calorie counting. And my goal - is about 50-60 more pounds.

When I say 50-60 more pounds, people *always* say - "NNOOOO! That is *far* too much." ....

I don't argue with them, I just shrug and say "That will be a healthy weight for me, and healthy is what I'm pushing for."

I leave it at that. It is terribly frustrating that people argue with you about not being fat or that you don't need to lose weight. Part of it, I think, is that calling someone "fat" or even acknowledging it - could be considered rude, so they deny its existence in an attempt to be nice.... I try to remember that they are trying to be nice and polite and just move on.