Some people are people are proud for their stretch marks, because those stretch marks are nothing compared to their new beautiful baby. But for me... It wasnt a baby that made me get them. I'm only 15, for God's sake. It was my weight.
I cant look at the mirror at all. Im still on my journey to lose weight, but i feel discouraged every night. Sometimes, i even cry myself to sleep. My stomach is hideous. There are soo many other parts of my body that have stretch marks too, but my tummy has the most. It looks grotesque, and im not exaggerating at all.
I know i can never get rid of them, and they'll be there forever. It's just sad.. That ill NEVER EVER be able to wear a bikini. My whole life. And im also scared. What if, in the future, i meet a nice guy, and he'll hesitate making any commitments to me, because of my ugly stomach?
I just really dont know what to do.
08-05-2011, 08:08 AM
First, a guy who won't commit because you have some stretch marks on your stomach is NOT a "nice" guy.
Second, take heart. Speaking as a 2-time mom, stretch marks DO fade. If you lose some weight (and don't yo-yo it back on quickly), they will fade away so much that they will be barely noticeable. It won't happen overnight, but it will happen.
The best thing you can do is tackle your weight loss journey in a smart way: slow and steady wins the race for getting it off, keeping it off, and fading those marks!
08-05-2011, 08:30 AM
I remember when I was 15 and I had stretch marks ALLLLLLL over my boobs. Bright red marks. I also had stretch marks on my thighs. I was mortified. THey were from growing too much too fast - not gaining weight and a LOT of girls and guys get them. Fast forward and the ones on my boobs you can't even see. My thighs, again, hardly noticeable. I KNOW they are there, but no one else would.
Fast forward a few more years - I get married and I have a baby. TONS of stretch marks. I gain weight - TONS of stretch marks on my arms and such.
It's just, well, LIFE. Yes, true, some people never get them, but soooooo many people do - men and women. We simply don't have picture perfect bodies - 99% of us. And no 'nice guy' will ever be grossed out by your faded stretch marks. Heck, he'll probably not even notice them unless you point them out! Especially since you are so young, that skin, once you drop the weight, will shrink back up and you will have tiny, tiny marks - nothing else.
08-05-2011, 08:33 AM
I had some in my teens (all of which faded) and now I have a LOT after my baby. Trust me, men have them too ;) And he's probably worried about the same thing. I promise you that when the time comes for you, a man will be too interested in other things to worry about some little mark on your skin :)
At 15, I'm not surprised you are very very self conscious about them - that's part of growing up. At that age, we think appearance is everything and that perfection is expected. Until that self-consciousness goes away with time, I recommend focusing on your other qualities.
08-05-2011, 09:06 AM
I've only just turned 20, and my stretch marks faded quite a while ago from "teenagehood." Trust me, give them a few years, and you won't even be thinking about them. You'll just find something else to hate :P
In fact, I remember my sister saying that her ex-boyfriend once said to her "I love every little bit of you, even those grey lines on your stomach and legs." Yea, he wasn't the brightest, and she wanted to kill him after he said that, but it just proves that honestly guys are a lot more comfortable with our flaws than we are!! And he was really CUTE! :P
And about the bikini - fair do's. If you don't feel comfortable at the moment in a bikini then don't wear one. I've never worn a bikini (not because of stretch marks, just because of my belly) and it's no biggy. Tankini's are great to cover up your stomach and they do some really cute ones, and one day soon they'll have faded and you'll be able to wear one. I can't wait to wear my first. :)
Chin up. It's just another horrible part of growing up. When I was your age I had loads of things I hated about myself that I'm now not so bothered about. One really attractive thing is confidence - that is something that you can work on right now. :) I'm sure you're gorgeous - stretch marks and all!
08-05-2011, 09:18 AM
What everyone else said, definitely!
Almost every woman has stretch marks in one spot or another and the guys that are keepers don't care a whit. My stomach looks like a freaking road map and my husband doesn't. care. at. all. Yes, I've had kids, but I also had quite a few stretch marks before I got married, so he's never seen me without them. Trust me, there are FAR more important things to worry about. (Character, confidence, joy...)
You'll find the right guy someday, and he will love you no matter what... AND he'll think you're dead sexy!
08-05-2011, 10:08 AM
Well, I've HAD two babies, but all my stretch marks came from gaining weight- not with them! With my first baby I was so happy that I gained a healthy amount of weight and got no stretch marks. But then I went on to gain 70 pounds AFTER the baby, and that's when the marks came. So I can't tell myself that I 'earned' them or anything :(.
I've lost about 30 pounds and they really are lighter now. Much less noticable. You're young, so if you lose weight chances are they will fade. As for not being able to wear a bikini... MOST people can't wear a bikini, that doesn't mean that they can't love their bodies and look good. Wearing a bikini is a very hard thing to do, lol!
08-05-2011, 10:14 AM
I had almost those exact same feelings at your age. You know what, though? My stretch marks came from a growth spurt and not even because I was overweight at the time. I can tell you a lot more women have stretch marks than you'd ever, ever know so DON'T feel ashamed of yourself for them.
Like others said, a good guy, is NOT going to care about your stretch marks (or even noticed them at all!). My stretch marks from my growth spurt are on my breasts and inner thighs. I doubt DH even knows that I have those since they'd fadded so much over the years. ;)
I have had one baby (and two pregnancies) and do have stretch marks on my stomach but I as time passes they are getting less and less noticeable. Also I still can wear bikinis because they make some high waisted ones that are quite flattering so nobody knows.
Also, as you lose weight they'll become much less noticeable so please don't try to obsess about them. Things do get better. :hug:
08-05-2011, 10:46 AM
I've got stretch marks all over. I grew quick! I was always embarrassed that I had stretch marks on my stomach @ 14 and 15, but they really do fade as you get older. You can only see them now if you're up close. My fiance isn't "grossed out" by them. I got them by growing tall And he likes me tall!
When you find a man that loves you, he's not going to look at your stretch marks and say, "Stretch marks?! Sorry, I don't do stretch marks." I can't think of a normal, decent man that would leave the woman he loved because of stretch marks. Almost everyone has them. My fiance has them, and he's as skinny as a stick.
And they fade. You can't see mine unless your up close. Mine are really light now, and have been for a couple of years. Like everyone says above, they will get better. :)
08-05-2011, 10:52 AM
Just about ALL women have stretch marks somewhere. Don't get discouraged!
I'm 23 now and I have A LOT from high school when I gained a lot of weight. My fiancée doesn't care. Nor did he care when I was at my highest weight (he met me and we started dating when I was at that weight!). I also don't care. I know that as I continue to lose weight they'll never quite go away, but I'm not going to stress and I plan to wear a bikini when I hit goal regardless! Anyone who doesn't like it can just look away.
According to my fiancée I could wear one now (haha no!) and he's offered to take me shopping for one. I told him when I lose another 15 we'll think about it. :dizzy:
Any guy who DOES make comments about your stretch marks isn't worth keeping around. If you didn't have them now, you'd get them eventually at some point (probably even if you never have kids you'd get stretch marks somehow!)
Please DO NOT let them get to you :( It's really something you can't control and you CAN live a fulfilling and fruitful life even if you were covered in stretch marks from head to toe!
08-05-2011, 11:35 AM
Girl, I have BEEN THERE! I gained a lot of weight in my early teens and have the stretch marks to prove it. I felt the same way you do except for one important difference: it took me another 5 years to do anything about it and the next 5 years to really get it done! You're doing awesome by working on your health now rather than later!
I'm 25 now and the stretch marks are like little silvery lines. Some are noticable, some aren't, but I see them as proof that I can do anything when I put my mind to it! It's kind of like a battle scar- they are a reminder of what I'm capable of.
I have learned (and am still learning) to see my body in a completely different way than I used to. I used to focus on how it looked and what I hated about that. Now, I focus a lot more on what my body can do. Sure, my thighs still have cellulite, but they can also run a half marathon and hike up mountains and KILL IT in spin class. Those things hold so much more power than a little cellulite!
Keep your head up! Focus on the positive. Things will get better :)!
08-05-2011, 11:49 AM
I agree. And I am right there with you as far as the stretch marks go. I am not a mother, but I have stretch
marks on my belly from rapid weight gain. And since you are so young your skin is resilient and they will fade.
Keep focusing on your health and you will see that even though you may never want to wear a bikini [I never
have either] you are still beautiful. And any 'man' who can not see past the stretch marks, other scars, and
'flaws' that might cause you to be insecure.... is not worth the trouble. A man who truly loves you will love
you even if you turn purple.
08-05-2011, 12:00 PM
Because of your age I would say that by losing weight in a healthy manner they will go away/be less noticable. The elasticity of your skin when you are young is a lot more prevalent than when you are older. So let your body do what it needs to do.
As for the boys. If they really love you they will love you regardless. My hubby met me 40 pounds ago and even though I don't like the way I look he loves me for me, not for my body. He always tells me "I love you, pudge and all" and he is my biggest confidant and supporter to lose weight. Not because he wants a skinny me but because he wants a HEALTHY me. So I would not worry about what the boys think...especially at 15 (because in all honesty they are 15 year old boys....)
08-05-2011, 03:15 PM
I agree if a guy doesnt want to commit becuase you have streach marks , i would just send him packing theres better people out there that will respect you more and wont look just at your body .
from exspirence when i was 15 and i had streach marks all over my stomach becuase of rapad weight gain . when i started lousing weigh hey slowly went away and i started to use coco butter and after a while it helped to make the streach marks less noticable .
so just breath and take one thing at a time deal with your guy.. then if your getting healthy plan out what you want to do and see if theres something that you can get to help with your streachmarks.
08-05-2011, 03:51 PM
This totally happened to me, too. Part of it was being overweight, though I was never obese. Part of it was just that I always grew so fast! And I was SO insecure about them. But I'm twenty now, and they've faded a lot!
My boyfriend one time pointed out to me that he could tell I had lost a lot of weight because of the marks. I promptly got very upset with him (I hadn't thought about them in years, they were so faded!), and when I told him why, he was surprised. He said that he has them, his sister has them, and his mom has them, so he didn't think they were that big of a deal.
Trust me, no guy is ever going to be put off by something like that (no guy worthwhile, especially), and anyway, they'll fade out a lot. Mine used to be horrble, but I have to look close to see them now!
08-05-2011, 06:25 PM
Hi there. :) I do know how you feel, I really do- I'm 17 and covered in them. I can thank my rapid growth spurt/gaining a lot of weight when I was around 10 or so for them.. no babies here. I hardly even noticed them at my higher weights because I avoided looking in the mirror so much. But after I lost the weight and started scrutinizing every inch of my body, I discovered that I had them everywhere! I was about 14 or 15 at that time, actually, and I felt horrified about it all. And I started obsessively moisturizing, massaging, exfoliating, etc. the marked areas that I hated the worst.
A couple years later, I can say that I honestly don't care about them anymore. The obsessive moisturizing, I must say, probably did help because many of them faded so much that they're hardly noticeable in most lights.. but that's beside the point. I eventually realized that nearly everyone has them and if we all obsessed about these perceived imperfections we have, we'll all be miserable! Better yet, I realized that most other people(especially the ones that matter) don't care that we have them. "You are your own worst critic" is really a statement that holds true in this situation. Ask most people how they feel about their stretch marks and they'll answer with something negative, then ask most people how they feel about their partner/friend/family member/acquaintance/a random person on the street having them and the response? They don't care!
The stretch marks I've always hated the worst are those on the inside of my upper arms- countless silvery little squigglies from my armpit to my elbow. For the longest time I absolutely refused to wear anything that didn't have sleeves that extended past my elbow. It was actually just recently that I realized how little I care about them now.. It's not the end of the world if I flash my upper arm stretch marks anymore. I'll happily wear tops that don't cover them completely. And there have been many times that I've worn such tops and random guys have hit on me! I have no interest in that in general, but it made me laugh to myself- this "flaw" that caused my a lot of negative feelings, that I obsessed over, felt miserable about.. those guys either didn't notice or didn't care. This "flaw" doesn't define my worth.
I'm sorry you feel so bad about your stretch marks. A shift in how you think about them might take some time and effort, but it's definitely a shift that's much more conductive to happiness than berating yourself about what is in the big picture nothing more than some squiggly lines on a person who has so much more to them than that. I hope you can find some peace about it all- all the best to you. :)
08-05-2011, 07:36 PM
Horo - I'm right there with you on the arm stretch marks. I enjoy the comfort of tank tops too much to let some faded silvery lines that nobody else notices or cares about stop me from wearing them. I have some on the back of my knees too. I still wear shorts and dresses.
OP - I have stretch marks literally everywhere. Arms, back of knees, inner thighs, outer thighs, butt, hips, lower back, belly, boobs. They used to bother me 1000 times more than being overweight. About a year ago I finally realized that nobody else cared, and they were never going away. I have accepted them. Also, 99.9% of guys will never say anything about your stretch marks. Even the bad ones.
I thought about posting a picture of my stomach to show you how much they fade over time. But they are still there, so I don't know if it would comfort you or depress you. :(
08-05-2011, 08:06 PM
It's really hard to think that even when you've lost the weight, you'll still have this so-called "defect." But, there's plenty of hope. Like some other people have said, stretch marks from teenage years will fade. I had them across my boobs (you would never believe this because I wear an A cup. If that is not a testament to how easily stretch marks can appear, I don't know what is) but now they're totally gone, and I'm 21 and they were probably gone 4 years ago.
Also, there are some things at the drug store that should fade them. I've heard tons of great things about BioOil. Wal-mart has an Equality brand version that is a bit cheaper, too. Also Palmer's Cocoa Oil is supposed to be similar and smell like chocolate :) I've read that it can be a bit slow to see a difference but that they are quite effective.