Weight Loss Support - I really need help getting motivated, I've messed up so much its feels pointless :(




tinkerbelll
07-04-2011, 09:13 PM
A few days ago (Monday) I posted a thread on here talking about how I messed up and cheated on my diet. I lost 11 lbs in 11 days and then I cheated and pretty much ate like crap this entire week going overboard all week, ESP yesterday eating 4 turkey hotdogs 1/2 bag of doritos & 1/2 a thing of ice cream (yea YIKES!) . I weighed myself today planning to get back on track & i saw i gained 8 of the 11 lbs I worked so hard to lose. Seeing that this morning made me feel HORRIBLE & made me so unmotivated and disgusted with myself that I dont even want to give it another try. IM just so fed up with this weight controlling my life! Im 24& never go out anywhere bc of my weight, cant wear anything cute bc of my weight & just stay in the house 24/7 like some hermit crab. I have my moms wedding in 3months too & I really want to be 200lbs even or below & i know I can do it if I stop messing up but I cant seem to stop messing up & everyday time I do I stay in this sad depressed :(frustrated discouraged state & I beat myself up so bad mentally that ill just ball up & sob like a baby then fall asleep just about everyday. BUT when Im on course losing weight working out I feel great! I just dont know why i keep sabotaging myself& keep doing dumb things.

I just feel so sick and tired of this weight battle :(

thanks for listening


rawbanana
07-04-2011, 09:22 PM
Whatever you have been cheating w/ our bingeing on (sounds like all unhealthy food) just dont bring it in the house! Dont have it anywhere where you can have access to it. There are certain foods I have a HUGE prob w/ and one bite leads to a BIG binge. For instances, I bought a bag of peanut m&ms yesterday. They were SUPPOSE to be saved for my long runs (I always eat 5-6 peanut m&ms and the same amt of pretzels after my runs of 8-10miles) but I ate the WHOLE bag in 24 hours!!!! Just a small handful here and there....yuck. I feel so bleh right now. BUT I have learned that NEXT time, instead of buying the 'big bag', I will buy one of those small bags at the check out place, then I think I will be less inclined to open it until the my long run day.
(((HUGS))) to you, if you REALLY get down to it, I bet you can lose that 8#'s quicker than you think. You are STRONGER than the food!! BELIEVE IT!

Sunshine87
07-04-2011, 09:43 PM
I have felt this way many times. I feel like I could have written this a few months ago. I am around the same age and I have attempted to lose the weight probably 25 times...no joke. I can tell you that I have lost some weight before but I always gained it back but now I have figured it out and I have never been this successful. It is all about developing good habits. Develop a routine/diet plan that is something you could live with for months or even a year. It is not YOU that is the problem. It is a series of poor choices that have developed into bad habits. The good news is that habits can be broken.
Right now you do not feel confident in your ability to stick to a plan so I would do two things. First, 3FCs is a great place to find that confidence. There is so much support in this community and it is great that you posted.
The second thing I would do is by making small choices. Make one rule for yourself and stick to it. Exercise for 20 mins every other day, eat a healthy breakfast every morning, cut out night eating, or park in the furthest space at the grocery store or something just so you can build your confidence. It is tough to forgive yourself after a lapse and it really just takes some time. You will not forgive yourself if you continue the bad patterns. I gained 37 pounds in 4 months and by the end of the 4th month I hated every particle of my being but I eventually was able to learn from the experience.


astrophe
07-04-2011, 09:46 PM
This is a process. What have you learned from the experience?

That you have certain trigger foods?
Or going to low initially sets you up for a binge?
That you have cycle related cravings?
Sodium rich foods cause water retention?
Other?

Just take it one thing at a time.

GL!
A.

mamato2boys
07-04-2011, 10:43 PM
Hugs!!!:hug:

I agree with what everyone has said to you!

We have ALL been there, so don't be too hard on yourself!! I too could have written your exact post a month ago. What helped me in the beginning was avoiding my trigger foods all together. If you think about an alcoholic, they stay away from alcohol 100%, not just a few sips here and there. It's because that sip (or in our case, taste) leads to more and more and more until what you are binging on is gone and you have moved on to the next.......

I found the Chicks in Control forum (here on 3FC) SO helpful in my recovery of binging, so maybe you could check that out.

Biggest thing though---don't let voice that is discouraging you to win. THAT is where you will become a statistic and will fail. If you look at all the successful people on here who met and exceeded their goals, you will notice that they did NOT give up, no matter what. Don't let this beat you, YOU are in control and you can get right back up and lose that weight again.
We are all rooting for you! :hug:

shishkeberry
07-04-2011, 11:04 PM
There's no way that you ate enough calories to gain 8 lbs of fat, so that has to be water weight. It happened to me in may, too. I had one bad weekend and gained back 9 of the lbs that I lost. But i just kept at it and i lost it all again plus more. So you only lost a net of 3 lbs. That's pretty good, actually. 3 lbs in two or so weeks is right on target. Don't be upset about the water you gained back, but be thrilled that you lost 3lbs. Go you!

shcirerf
07-04-2011, 11:18 PM
:hug:

First, my kids are older than you. I've done this lots of times. Learned a lot.

Quit beating yourself over the head with the tater chip sack. It's pointless.

So you went on a bender. So what.

Learn from your mistakes, and crawl right back on plan. But make sure your plan is reasonable and something you can live with the rest of your life!

Personally, Weight Watchers works for me. I love the meetings, I need the accountability of filling out my tracker, and I really like that no food or drink is off limits, as long as you can work it in. Plus the support, and hints, and making friends in the same boat.

I'm within 4 pounds of my goal, I sorta took the weekend off of WW. I didn't go crazy, but I enjoyed the family/friend get togethers. Kept portions in check, but had a few beers and some fun too!

I have to weigh in tomorrow night, not going to be pretty, mostly due to a lot of salty food. But that's ok. I'm crawling right back on plan in the morning, and I'll lose those last four pounds.

None of us are perfect, myself included. It doesn't matter how may times you fall down, what matters is how many times you get up!

pointless2011
07-04-2011, 11:34 PM
I just made a similar thread to this last night! I have been trying to lose weight and instead of losing I GAINED. because of my binging... I worked out for 4 days straight ate VERY healthy and last night I ate WAY too much. =( I know how you feel, but don't give up. Try to forget about it and start over again!That's what I'm doing

April Snow
07-04-2011, 11:42 PM
tinkerbell -

is there any way you could seek professional help? I am not a doctor and even if I were, I couldn't diagnose you online. But I think your feelings go well beyond cheating on a diet and you might be better off with a professional consultation and proper treatment.

Good luck to you!!

popspry
07-04-2011, 11:55 PM
I lost steadily for months, then about a month ago for 1-1.5 weeks..I just ate whatever. I went from 151.5 lbs to 157. Now a lot of that has been water weight, but it has been really depressing. Seriously, getting back on track has been harder than any other part of this journey. Worse for me is I live with my mom and siblings and while I get lots of healthy food they don't. It's hard to say no when my worst trigger foods are right there.

I don't even know what my real weight is because I'm still shedding that water weight from all that processed food. It is upsetting thinking that I could be lighter if I had't royally messed up but I try to remember if I'd kept that habit up I really would have started to gain and gain.

ADL
07-05-2011, 12:29 AM
If you lost 11 lbs in 11 days it was mostly water weight. However to lose that much that quickly is still very unhealthy. Weight loss is a learning experience about yourself (no more covering up emotions with food) and is not easy. I know you have your mom's wedding as a goal but you should do what is healthiest for you emotionally. I have found that taking on everything at once (not eating junk, portion control, exercise etc...) is a recipe for disaster because I feel emotionally drained and frustrated that I am not doing everything perfectly. Try setting goals like drinking 8 glasses of water a day or making a meal plan that excites you. The weight will come off slower but you will feel better emotionally and probably be able to keep it off better

Larry H
07-05-2011, 12:38 AM
You might want to consider attending an OA meeting.

When I got discouraged, disgusted and sick and tired of being sick and tired I went. Sure glad I did because they helped me change myself so that I did not have to binge again.

OA has a support forum on 3FC, give them a try what do you have to lose?

Larry,

mlgibson
07-05-2011, 02:07 AM
I am a binge eater, whether brought on from boredom or stress or some other issue.

I have dropped and gained back, sabotaged myself, and had a hard time of it. And I hope this will be the time I truly succeed. I know how you feel, it is so easy when the pounds drop off quick. Harder when they don't.

Try looking at it this way, everytime you do make a mistake, it is a learning experience on what you could do to change it. To beat it. You CAN do this, just take it a day at a time. If you mess up one day, there is always the next day, the next MOMENT.

If you give up? That is when you truly fail. Overeating one day, then trying your hardest again and trying to fix it...that is a success all in itself. Each time you make yourself stronger whether you realize it or not.

So no matter how down you get, no matter how big you percieve a mistake to be...do not give up. Will it be a slower loss? Yes. But it will still be a loss!

If you only lose 3-4 pounds a month, or less, it is still less weight then you had.

You can do this, I believe in you. And together, we will all succeed.

swtbttrfly23
07-05-2011, 02:22 AM
I think shcirerf said it best: "So you went on a bender. So what."

I can't even count the amount of times I've gone off plan and gone a little crazy. For one day, for two, for weeks or months at a time. It's not good by any means, but I've learned that I, inevitably, will do it. I'm never 100% perfect with my eating. I've learned to accept that some overeating is going to be a part of my life. So I try to keep it smart (still apply some healthy eating principals!), and relatively short-lived. And the most important thing is that everytime I come back from that binge, I go BACK TO PLAN. I found that if I look at everything in the long-terms, I realize that I'm still going back to the plan. Even if I veer away sometimes, I always come back. And over the longer period, I've lost. It takes me longer than if I was perfect about my food, but I simply can't be. I've got issues with food as deep as any ocean, but the more I realize it, the easier it is to navigate the waves. I've also found that being so judgmental about it all only makes it worse. Own up to the mistake and MOVE ON!!!!

Good luck darlin, and keep going! Don't look back, just onward and upward :-)

Chubbykins
07-05-2011, 02:23 AM
Get up, dust off and carry on with your head held high! :hug:

BlackDaisy85
07-05-2011, 02:32 AM
A few days ago (Monday) I posted a thread on here talking about how I messed up and cheated on my diet. I lost 11 lbs in 11 days and then I cheated and pretty much ate like crap this entire week going overboard all week, ESP yesterday eating 4 turkey hotdogs 1/2 bag of doritos & 1/2 a thing of ice cream (yea YIKES!) . I weighed myself today planning to get back on track & i saw i gained 8 of the 11 lbs I worked so hard to lose. Seeing that this morning made me feel HORRIBLE & made me so unmotivated and disgusted with myself that I dont even want to give it another try. IM just so fed up with this weight controlling my life! Im 23 & never go out anywhere bc of my weight, cant wear anything cute bc of my weight & just stay in the house 24/7 like some hermit crab. I have my moms wedding in 3months too & I really want to be 200lbs even or below & i know I can do it if I stop messing up but I cant seem to stop messing up & everyday time I do I stay in this sad depressed :(frustrated discouraged state & I beat myself up so bad mentally that ill just ball up & sob like a baby then fall asleep just about everyday. BUT when Im on course losing weight working out I feel great! I just dont know why i keep sabotaging myself& keep doing dumb things.

I just feel so sick and tired of this weight battle :(

thanks for listening

binge eating is a form of self mutilation and its a vicious cycle. we eat because we are depressed and the weight gain thus causes us more depression and we eat again and again because we are depressed.

You have to learn to look at food as something unenjoyable almost. Eating is not a pleasure. Its a NECESSITY. WE eat because we need to, not because we can. Therefore, you eat enough to keep yourself alive, healthy, but not enough to actually cause you relief from eating food. the minute you start feeling a high or an immense pleasure from eating, you know you are not eating for the right reasons.

gagalu
07-05-2011, 04:01 AM
well, 11 lbs in 11 days is fantastic. you put on 8, but so what? think of how little time it will take you to lose it again. don't give up -- you can always pick back up where you left off. you will never forgive yourself if you continue to overeat the way that you do. you slipped up, but who cares? at least you had a plan to slip up from in the first place, where before, you didn't even have that.

Lovely
07-05-2011, 04:18 AM
/tough love

Did you wake up the morning you began eating better and think to yourself "I'm perfect. I won't ever make a mistake."?

You made a mistake and discovered you weren't perfect. So what? No one here is. Step out of your own head for a minute and look around 3FC. Really. Check the posts. Do you see how often people say "Gah! I made a mistake!"? Do you see that on this very same page there's a section for people venting about eating something they didn't want on July Fourth?

You're hardly the first person to make a mistake. You won't be the last. And frankly, if we're being realistic this won't be the last time you make a mistake, either.

The only thing unrealistic is the way you're dealing with it. You ate stuff you didn't want. Ok. So what's your plan now? You going to quit, and feel even worse? Or you going to plan out your meals tomorrow so you can get back on track with ease?

/end tough love

Eating things we don't want sucks, but at the most it should be a moment of "Ugh. I didn't really want that. Better make sure I plan for later to avoid this, again."

Don't let this be the end of your journey.

noregrets4me
07-05-2011, 06:50 AM
Binging can cause depression, that's for sure.

But we have to eat, and we should enjoy it. We have to learn and accept we can't be 100% every day. What we have to do is change our eating habits and make healthy choices as often as we can. There will definitely be times we're going to eat the chips or eat pizza, etc. We just have to do that in moderation and not beat ourselves over the head with it.

So if you're not 100% on program it's okay - as long as you're maybe 85% on program. "Normal people" eat chips - but they won't eat a bowlful. Why? Because they accept chips are part of life. They don't have the diet mentality that chips are not allowed therefore since they're eating them now they should eat the whole bag because they won't get a chance to eat them again whie they are on a diet.

So don't beat yourself over the head. More than likely you'll eat chips again - and as long as you just eat a few on your plate it's okay. Moderation is the key, not deprivation.