Pregnant - Nursing - Post Pregnancy TOM




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guamvixen
02-14-2011, 09:33 AM
UGH! I got attacked by my Aunt Flo since Emma was born! I also had to stop breast feeding/pumping because when I went back to work, my supply just dropped at a ridiculous rate! I'm feeling really bummed out about it though. :( And of course now I've got the worries that weight gain will be inevitable from all the other things I've heard about stopping breast feeding.

Anyway, my question is, is your first actual TOM post pregnancy supposed to attack you with an awful vengeance? OH MY GOODNESS is all I can say. It's been the worst I've ever had in my entire life!

Also, I'm debating which birth control would be right for me. I don't like the pill, so are there any other suggestions you all may be able to fill me in on? Thanks!


BubaMarra
02-14-2011, 10:13 AM
Don't worry, your first cycles after having a baby can be all over the place. Everything is possible and what used to be a norm might not be any more. My cycles shortened a bit for instance. Also, weaning had bigger impact on my cycles than breastfeeding had - the first period after I weaned lasted 9 days which never ever happened before. But I reckon it was just my body trying to adjust to a new hormonal shift. Of course if you experience severe pain or heavy bleeding those would be reasons to seek medical help. Other than that, just give your body some time before it gets into the new routine again.

Emme
02-14-2011, 10:24 AM
I was on the Depo Provera shot for around 10 years. It's easy and it's only needed once every 3 months. I never had any side effects from it and it made my life very easy as far as birth control goes!


Gale02
02-14-2011, 11:07 AM
I can't really comment on post partum TOM. I've had two kids, but I only had one period after baby #1 before I got pg with #2 and I haven't started menstruating again yet.

As far as BC goes, I'm going to get the copper IUD put in in about 2 weeks. It's non-hormonal and is a spermicide so prevents conception. I'll let you know what I think.

guamvixen
02-14-2011, 02:34 PM
Thanks guys! I'm kind of steering towards Mirena, but I've heard mixed reviews. Let me know how it goes Gale! I'm scheduled in the middle of March to get the Mirena, but each day I go back and forth!

XLMuffnTop
02-14-2011, 03:16 PM
I had Mirena after my 1st and currently have Paragard (copper IUD) since October 2010.

I prefer the Paragard because it doesn't have hormones and lasts 10 years compared to 5.

Of course, due to PCOS, I still have to take BC pills but I can control the amount and don't have to worry about getting pregnant due to forgetting a dose.

Gale02
02-14-2011, 07:39 PM
I think the new Paragard is good for 12 years. I really like that it's non-hormonal. I've known several people IRL that have had Mirena and I've not heard a single good thing about it. Most of them have gone to the Paragard IUD.

guamvixen
02-15-2011, 03:08 PM
This is why I'm so confused! The biggest turn off about the copper IUD is that you run the risk of having heavier, longer periods. I already have bad ones that last 7 days, and this one, is worse than the norm! I may have to just go the old fashioned route then and stick to condoms or no sex at all! lol I know they say you lose that "itch" after you have a baby, but seriously, just the thought of "it" is too much work!

Ok, going way back in time, has anyone tried the cervical cap or diaphragm? The last time I even heard the term diaphragm was on Look Who's Talking. Good grief!

Quail
02-17-2011, 02:52 PM
Even though I was breastfeeding, my period returned just six stinking weeks after my son arrived. SIX WEEKS! I sure got the short end of the stick on that one! And yes, it was more like an exorcism than a period.

I did not go on birth control after that. We use NFP and my hubby pulls out or uses a condom. It's worked for us 100% for 17 years.

Gale02
02-17-2011, 08:31 PM
it was more like an exorcism than a period.



Bahahahaha! This made me laugh really hard!

SunnyMathChick
02-17-2011, 10:59 PM
My first few periods post-partum were pretty awful. I was afraid that that was going to be my new norm... but I've been having periods again for a little over a year now and they are back to normal- maybe even better than what I had pre-baby.

As far as BC goes we just use condoms. BC pills and I did not get along.

AbbySinthe
02-20-2011, 09:11 AM
I just got mine and like Quail it came 6 weeks after the birth. But I only breastfed for about a week. And haven't gained anything back since the birth. I'm actually 5 lbs down from my pre-pregnancy weight.
This TOM is HORRIBLE! The cramps are brutal and like you said, it's way heavier than I'm used to. We're going on day 4 right now with no signs of slowing down :(
As for birth control, I was on Nuvaring before we got pregnant and I'm going back on it. I was terrible at taking pills and like you I'm hesitant with the IUD or Mirena. We haven't used condoms since we first started seeing each other (9 years ago) and we both hate them so it's been abstinence since the birth. Plus, I only just got the ok on Thursday that we're *ahem* "good to go". So we're waiting until my BC kicks in. Hubby is literally counting the days. ;)

kuhrisuh
02-22-2011, 01:02 PM
Babyy is a little over 5 wks old and i haven't had a period yet. There's a type of bc called the implanon. Its an arm implant that lasts ithink 3 yrs... thatwas my plan until i foundout insurance didn't cover it ($1800 dollars!!!!). So im going on the pill. I have a friend who has an IUD, and she hasn't said anything about it latelybuti know when it was first put in it was very painful for her for awhile.

guamvixen
02-22-2011, 02:20 PM
I just got mine and like Quail it came 6 weeks after the birth. But I only breastfed for about a week. And haven't gained anything back since the birth. I'm actually 5 lbs down from my pre-pregnancy weight.
This TOM is HORRIBLE! The cramps are brutal and like you said, it's way heavier than I'm used to. We're going on day 4 right now with no signs of slowing down :(
As for birth control, I was on Nuvaring before we got pregnant and I'm going back on it. I was terrible at taking pills and like you I'm hesitant with the IUD or Mirena. We haven't used condoms since we first started seeing each other (9 years ago) and we both hate them so it's been abstinence since the birth. Plus, I only just got the ok on Thursday that we're *ahem* "good to go". So we're waiting until my BC kicks in. Hubby is literally counting the days. ;)

Hey Abby!

Not to get all personal with you in this very public forum, but uhm...can your husband, ahem, "feel" the nuvaring? I'm really thinking I'm going to pass on the Mirena. It's such a hard decision. I seriously doubt I need anything. I've been having some MAJOR body image issues lately, and it's really bringing me down. :(

GradPhase
02-22-2011, 02:51 PM
Just snooping through - not a mom. But, I tried Nuva Ring for about five months -- the boyfriend couldn't feel it at all. It's super bendy plastic. And if they can feel it, it certainly wouldn't be painful at all. Just a "hmm, oh, hello nuvaring..". It can come out during sex though, in which case you just put it back in.

However : I started getting insane leg cramps in the middle of the night where I'd wake up, jump out of bed, super startled, in a scream/cry from the immediate pain. I'd get it in both legs - and I've NEVER been one to get leg cramps, especially not provoked by exercise. It took me about six weeks before I was watching tv and saw the Nuva Ring commercial that said leg cramps were a big red flag - googled it, and read about the "nuva ring stroke" (http://www.birthcontrolringlawsuitcenter.com/) and took it out immediately. I won't ever try them again.

I, too, have been thinking about Mirena for a long, long time - and as soon as I get the money up that's my route :) Maybe do a little more research at least before you cancel that appointment if you're still unsure.

Gale02
02-22-2011, 04:18 PM
Guam,
Why are you having body image issues? :(

guamvixen
02-23-2011, 09:33 AM
Guam,
Why are you having body image issues? :(

Thanks for reaching out Gale! My issues are the whole loose skin situation. I feel so gross just shaking and flopping all over the place during "that" time. I have pretty much lost interest in it because I want to avoid the embarrassment. The last time, we had to stop because I felt so disgusting. I'm trying to work through it, but things are so much easier said than done.

goodforme
02-23-2011, 12:32 PM
:hug: I'm so sorry you're going through this! Don't discount the hormones role in your thinking right now. Your baby is about 12 weeks old? Things are just settling down, especially if you're nursing, your feelings are going to be all over the place. Tiredness, stress, all the things that come with being a new mom could be affecting your libido, and your self-perception.

Do you think surgery would help you overcome some of your body issues? Could you afford it, or save up for it, as something to work towards? Good luck!

4star
02-23-2011, 01:02 PM
Yes TOM post pardum was pretty horrible for the first 6 months with pain and blood loss. I had to go to the drug store and find special extra heavy protection b/c Overnight pads wouldn't even begin to work, and they'd always worked before. I even retained 8lbs of water one month. It was crazy and thankfully things have gone pretty much back to normal.

The general consensus I find is: it gets easier about 6 months out. You can always ask your OB/GYN about it tho and see if they have any options for you. They should be able to help you figure out something.

Gale02
02-23-2011, 02:43 PM
Thanks for reaching out Gale! My issues are the whole loose skin situation. I feel so gross just shaking and flopping all over the place during "that" time. I have pretty much lost interest in it because I want to avoid the embarrassment. The last time, we had to stop because I felt so disgusting. I'm trying to work through it, but things are so much easier said than done.

That's really hard, I understand what you're going through. :( Your skin should firm up some after a while. Pregnancy is pretty hard on our skin, but it does get better after time. As far as intimacy goes (I totally get the embarrassment, me too), could you wear a fitted cami or something like that? I know that sex with clothes on isn't as much fun, but it's better (for everyone!) than no sex at all. I'm usually more comfortable and therefore more relaxed if I have a top on. Just something to think about. You could also ask DH not to touch the spots that make you embarrassed. DH doesn't touch my stomach much because he knows how tense it makes me.

:hug: Hugs, my dear lady. It will get better, give it some time.

4star
02-23-2011, 08:45 PM
I also wanted to add. I think that it's so stressful for a first-time Mom to meet her post-baby bod. It's nerve-racking. Even if you find that you like some parts there is always an adjustment period for the little things that we won't care for. It was really hard to see myself get stretchmarks all over my stomach. I have an overhang from c-sections that I probably can never work off and I am unfortunately not a candidate for surgery to help. I guess I just decided to be ok with it one day and to work on it instead of letting it rob me of any joy. As for your hubby, he doesn't care and isn't trying to find flaws. He loves you and I am sure he is so busy doing other things at *that* moment, no negative thought about you would ever cross his mind. Seriously. He's making love to you dear, he doesn't care about what you think is flawed. Just like a jiggle here or there wouldn't affect your love for him, it won't affect his love for you. You can tell him about your issues right now so he understands where you're coming from but don't expect him to agree b/c what he sees is someone he loves who just gave him a child and he wants to make love to that beautiful woman. :hug:

I do remember the post-baby bod-shock feeling all too well and it taking a while to adjust. The thing is you can't shut yourself off, you have to get in there and have some fun. It may take a little bit to feel better but please don't short your self of the blissful intimacy that a healthy marriage can bring. Let your hubby nurture and reassure you through this transition. He obviously adores you so I am sure he'd be happy to soothe you. ;)

BTW Didn't you know him when you were heavy to begin with?

Gale02
02-23-2011, 10:02 PM
b/c what he sees is someone he loves who just gave him a child and he wants to make love to that beautiful woman. :hug:



^^ Definitely what 4 star said and to this part I'd like to add that when men see women naked they don't seem to register stretch marks or jiggly bits... they pretty much register "NAKED!!... BOOBIES!!... ETC!!" ;) They don't see the flaws we do.

4star
02-24-2011, 07:55 AM
^^ Definitely what 4 star said and to this part I'd like to add that when men see women naked they don't seem to register stretch marks or jiggly bits... they pretty much register "NAKED!!... BOOBIES!!... ETC!!" ;) They don't see the flaws we do.

I read a study to that effect once. It highlighted what men think and feel when they are aroused and it was only the sexually arousing parts that mattered everything else went out of focus into the background. My hubby even told me I can buy lingerie if I feel like putting a bow on the package but all he's really concerned with is the gift. :D There's also incentive for that gifting as it's just keeps getting better the longer we're together.

Gale02
02-24-2011, 09:55 AM
I read a study to that effect once. It highlighted what men think and feel when they are aroused and it was only the sexually arousing parts that mattered everything else went out of focus into the background. My hubby even told me I can buy lingerie if I feel like putting a bow on the package but all he's really concerned with is the gift. :D There's also incentive for that gifting as it's just keeps getting better the longer we're together.

I have a cousin who went lingerie shopping with her husband once. She asked him if he liked one of the pieces. He took it, dropped it on the floor into a little pile, looked at it and said "Yeah, it looks good." :)

Goddess Jessica
03-03-2011, 01:06 AM
Yes, my boyfriend's requirement for lingerie is, "Does it come off quickly?"