I'm back here at 3FC for a third try. I come, I look around and get inspired, then fizzle out quickly. I feel like being a mom to 4 and full time student is sucking every bit of energy and willpower out of me that I have and there is nothing left for me. Does anyone else feel like this? I am 31 and I *hate* what I see when I look in the mirror. I just hit the 2-0-0 for the first time. I was around 175 when I gave birth to my kids. Yikes. So, I am now 25 lbs heavier than I was at full term pregnancy. I am having a VERY difficult time getting a start on a real life change. I keep starting fad diets like Atkins and I even tried the hgc crap for a few days. Feeding a large family without overfeeding yourself has proven to be super difficult for me. Any other moms out there feeling like total crap?
I think we all can relate to your post at one time or another.I know I could have written this post several times myself. I am a single mom of 2, work a full time job and battle with depression on a regular basis, going through the drive thru was a lot more convenient than going home and cooking; but for the past two weeks, we have had 1 slip up and it's been FUN, not to mention how much money I'm saving!!
I don't think it matters if you've been here 10 times, or more...and went back to old habits. Maybe this time, will be the time you're in the right mindset to make the small changes in your lifestyle that evolve into bigger changes for you and your family!
I know it's hard to dedicate anytime to yourself, but for one week just try. Even 10 minutes a day to start out, by walking or riding a bicycle. Try paying attention to what is going in your mouth and fill up on water!
This time I really, REALLY want to change habits (mostly exercise - my eating really isn't too bad). I took my girls to the beach last week and had to go buy a swimsuit on the way. They, being 5 and 8 had to accompany me to the dressing room, which was pretty terrible. I kept thinking what an example I was setting for my daughters and told them that my body wasn't healthy right now, but that I was going to make it better by exercising. I want them to feel that the problem with being heavy isn't in the aesthetic, but in the unhealthiness of it. No matter how you look at it, weighing 200 lbs at 5'7" is not good for anyone. I think the fact that I was in the military for many years and had hyper-fitness drilled into my head really has an impact on my self image. I see pictures of other women at my height and weight and I think they look fine. I guess it's just a personal problem.
It's such a relationship bummer as well. I am super attracted to my partner, but don't want to have sex because I feel like a cow. I feel so uncomfortable in my own skin, since my "normal" weight is 135. I feel like he is so much more attractive than I am. His body looks like that of a buff 17 year old. Yay for him - bad for me. He wants to take a romantic vacation so bad, but I keep putting him off because I feel like there is nothing romantic or sexy about me lumbering down the beach in a swimsuit. I know this self loathing is only making things worse. I just don't know how to shake it.
Last edited by johannaengland; 08-21-2010 at 12:40 AM.
Reason: add
Almost a decade ago, I was addicted to street drugs. I got help and I don't do that to myself anymore. I don't drink alcohol. After a year clean I stopped smoking cigarettes. I needed a lot of support and it was still hard. With food, I can't abstain completely (obviously) so it's tougher in some ways.
I've got two kids with special needs (conceived after I quit smoking, thank you), a gluten-free old house to maintain, and a loving husband that works *very* hard to provide and help his dad run the family dairy farm. I'm already very busy, just like everyone else. Small changes are easiest for me. When one small change becomes "normal", I move on to the next one. I couldn't do small changes when I was getting clean, but I wouldn't wish that chaos on somebody unless they absolutely need it.
(((hugs))) and welcome. I think at one point or another we have all felt like that. It is difficult raising children ( I have an 8 year old and 5 year old as well). For me, the weight loss is about being healthy and being a good role model for my kids. I do not mention dieting ever around my kids. I just don't want an 8 year old who thinks that's the norm for women. I proudly strutted my stuff in my bathing suit this summer on the beach with my flabby thighs rubbing. I think you just need to get to a point in your life where you need to accept who you are and live. In the past, there were things I wouldn't do b/c I thought I was too heavy ( and this was when I weight 185). So, this summer I decided that a lot of people at the beach look more like me than super models so the heck with it. And you know what, I had a blast on vacation. When I met my husband he weighed about 175 and he is tall. I was 185. He loved me for my curves and although, at times, I felt too big for him, I just went with it. I am sure your guy loves you for who you are and not how much you weigh. I would love to have a buff man. My guy is now 225 with a slight beer belly. lol. Go on the vacation, buy a sarong, and enjoy your man. He may end up like my hubbie one day and you'll be kicking yourself for not enjoying his 6 pack abs while you had the chance.
You can do this. I currently count calories and work out 4-5 days a week. Sometimes I have to work out after the kids go to bed, but I feel so much better mentally after I do. It's time to start taking care of you. Because if you don't do it now, you will be 39 like me and still trying to lose weight.
Thank you all for taking the time to reply. I'm back again this AM, so that's a plus. saggzz, your post really made me smile. We are going to the beach again today and I am going to do my very best to not even think about my body and just enjoy that family time. My mother insisted on bringing a picnic - fried chicken and potato salad. Lol. Maybe today isn't the best day for eating right, but I can do *something*. I can take a long walk on the beach after I eat fried chicken. Also, I'm going to try focus my body thoughts on his body - not mine. Lol. You're sure right... I better enjoy that smokin' bod while it lasts!
Maybe try to focus on one small change at a time. You said that you would like to get back to exercising - with 4 kids and going to school, you're going to have to make a bit of a sacrifice to get it done. You may end up doing it at 9pm or 5am...anyway those are the times afforded to this Momma of 4.
You said your eating wasn't THAT bad. Just a reality check, here - if you weigh 200lbs, your eating IS THAT bad. Maybe not in quality of food - but definitely in quantity. I would suggest counting calories for a week to see how many calories you really are consuming.
It's really hard for previously active people to get back into shape. I ran a Half Marathon in 2008...it was hard to start with a simple walking program to start getting things rolling again. The walking seemed like a REAL waste of time...but it had to be done to get to where I wanted to be - running!
Just start - something - and start today!
Last edited by mortonpixie; 08-21-2010 at 09:43 AM.
With all you have going on, no wonder you are so tired and stressed! I know how hard it is, so I hope you can find the time to take care of yourself. As a mom and wife, I used to put myself last all the time at the expense of my health. Just remember that you are important to them, and they want you to feel your very best.
I agree with dcapulet. Being a mum of a 3yr old & a 15mth old myself, I can relate to what everyone is saying. Mums often seem to be forgotten about as they are too busy making sure everyone else is ok.
Sometimes though we just need to take that time to work on us, especially our health. I hope you find something that works for you and you can continue to achieve your goal.
I feel like I can relate to you so much... hitting the big 200 was a scary wake-up call for me. It's hard- you feel selfish if you spend time on yourself, but you need to do it. The healthier you are, the better you will be for your family. Keep coming on here for inspiration!! It will click, I promise. You can do it!!
SO depressed :(
Does anyone else feel like this? I am 31 and I *hate* what I see when I look in the mirror. I just hit the 2-0-0 for the first time. I was around 175 when I gave birth to my kids. Yikes. So, I am now 25 lbs heavier than I was at full term pregnancy. I am having a VERY difficult time getting a start on a real life change. I keep starting fad diets like Atkins and I even tried the hgc crap for a few days. Feeding a large family without overfeeding yourself has proven to be super difficult for me. Any other moms out there feeling like total crap? 
Also, I'm going to try focus my body thoughts on his body - not mine. Lol. You're sure right... I better enjoy that smokin' bod while it lasts! 
