I am really in a bad place right now, up at 2 am worrying over ...weight! I have been struggling to lose these 20 pounds for so long and instead I am gaining. My daughter is getting married in less than 2 months and it makes me sick to think of how I'm going to look at her wedding. I had such plans to lose this weight slowly over the course of her engagement yet I haven't lost one pound. I'm frustrated and disgusted with myself, and really down. I know that there are more important things than my body, that is for sure, but her wedding is a BIG moment, the pics will be viewed forever. I hate that I'll be part of history looking like this.

Thanks for "listening."

It sucks being kept awake at night worrying over weight issues. But think on the bright side, you still have around two months to lose the 20 lbs and I think that might be obtainable. Don't lose heart hunny, we're all rooting for you here!

xonlywishesx, thank you. I'm in my 40's, metabolism is sloooowing down, don't think 20 lbs is do-able but maybe 10?

Whatever you manage to lose by then, Chickie, you will feel better and you will look better . . . you can do it, girl.

Tell us a little about your eating and exercise plans -- maybe we can help you tweak them a bit.

Hey! Gosh, sorry to hear you're up nights worrying about this, because stress only tends to make the fat stick harder.

So, take a deep breath... You don't say how you've been trying to lose weight--as meowee said, maybe we can help if you tell us. In two months you could probably lose 10 pounds, but you'd need to be willing to work at it.

Check out the Calorie Counters forum--especially some of the Sticky threads like Frequently Asked Questions. That might be a relatively easy way to approach it.

BTW, I weigh about the same as you do now, and although I could weigh less, I'm pretty happy with it for now. (I'm about the same height, too.) I mention this just to show that it's possible not to be miserable...

Jay

Thank you, Jay! You've lost a lot of weight, way to go!!

I've been doing WW Flex which worked for me in the past...yeah I lost these same 20 pounds 5 years ago and have found them again.

My problem in a nutshell is emotional eating and lack of self-discipline. I am dealing with stress by overeating and then I feel like crap about myself so I eat more to squash those feelings. Not a pretty picture.

meowee, thank you. As I said to Jay, I am doing WW Flex for diet; I exercise by walking, either on the treadmill or in my neighborhood. That really is the key for me, I seem to only be able to lose weight when I combine the exercise with the diet. (the 40's and slowing metabolism stink!)

What I really need help with is the mental part, the self-control, focus, discipline. I know how to do it, I know that the program works, I just need to DO IT!

How do you get motivated and stay that way?

Hi, Don't lose any more sleep, use this time to make a plan for yourself. You might not be able to lose 20 lb.'s but all you lose will be better than nothing, won't it?

As far as the slow metabolism, i'm 60 and I lost the weight. It took me a little longer, but it's gone. So at 40 you will for sure be able to do it.

Don't wait, start NOW

the slim me, wow, what an inspiration you are! Tell me, how did you drop the weight?

We are so hard on ourselves, aren't we? I can relate, I'm in my upper 40's, am your height and was right about your current weight when I decided to get my weight under control --yet again. I thought I looked like a beached whale, yet, if you asked anyone else, they thought I looked just fine.

There's a natural desire to want things to be perfect for a major life event. But, I don't know that it can ever be really perfect. If it's not our weight, it's the jiggly arms that are left after losing the weight, or our hair's not right, or nose is too big, or something. Or the flowers aren't quite the right color, Uncle Stan got drunk and rowdy again, and the DJ played that song that everyone hates, or the chicken was cold or the weather was crappy. There's always something. If we go into it thinking that it HAS to be perfect, we are bound to be let down in some way. Maybe our expectations aren't realistic.

With all of the pressures of the upcoming wedding, maybe your 20 pound target just isn't realistic to achieve within that time frame. Sometimes what works for me is setting smaller goals/targets that I KNOW that I can make. Exercise helps with stress ... so maybe setting a goal of walking for xx minutes at least xx times per week (whatever you know you can achieve), and also set some modest diet change target, like stay on your WWT points a minimum of 5 days per week. I certainly wouldn't suggest any radical/crash diet routine, because that's just not sustainable in the long term -- and probably not in the short term for that matter. You can control your behaviors (exercise, eating plan), while you can't always control the result (number on the scale) so I would set modest achievable goals around what you can control. If you move a little more and eat a little less, over the longer term, you will lose weight. Just not maybe as fast as you would have liked.

What you can do is also focus on your beautiful qualities ... rather than the number on the scale. Why not have your hair and make up "done" for the wedding? And buy a drop-dead gorgeous mom-of-the-bride dress that plays up all of your best features. So what you aren't at your target weight yet, a flattering dress can make an enormous difference! You'll be amazed at how good you will look!

Beauty comes in all shapes and sizes. You are beautiful now, and you will be beautiful when you do eventually reach your target weight. Enjoy this special time with your daughter! Your family loves you just the way you are, right now.

That's just my 2 cents ...

MBN, thank you sooooo much! Your words have really boosted me up today.

I am having my hair & make-up done for the wedding; since my daughter is having a vintage-themed affair it was rather necessary to do so. We hired a fab hairdresser/make-up artist who makes a living turning average gals into 40's pinups! I can't wait to see the end result, just wish I were a bit less curvy at this point.

Again, thank you. I'd love to hear more about how you got rid of the weight!

Hey, just another thought--I had a friend who was having difficulties with WW Flex, so she went to WW Core and did much better.

Jay

How fun!! That era has some very flattering dress styles for curvy gals, so you can really play it up!!

As to how I lost the weight -- really, I just followed the "move more, eat less" plan. I find that if I'm exercising regularly, the eating part tends to fall in line better. I started by committing to working out at least 3-4 days per week, a combination of walking and strength conditioning. I cut back on sweets, refined carbs and fats and emphasized fruits/vegetables, lean proteins, and whole grains. As time went on, I was able to increase my exercise intensity and eventually was able to start running again. It took me a whole year to lose 40 pounds and (knock on wood), I've kept it off now for more than 4 months.

What's even more important to me than that number on the scale: My BMI went from over 27 to 20.5. My cholesterol dropped from 230 to 175. I ran a half marathon in 2 hours and 7 minutes and a 5K in a little over 26 minutes. In step N sculpt class, I can push as much weight as the men and I actually see real muscle definition in my arms. Oh yeah, and I lost more than 5 INCHES in my hips and can wear a size 2P pants.

For me, this weight loss journey has been a lot more about health and functionality than appearance. I think that's why I'm sticking to it better this time (because I've gained and lost the same 20 pounds I don't know how many times). I want to manage my risk factors and stay healthy long term. In retirement, I want to be able to run, and hike, and bike, and kayak and lift my own bag into the overhead bin. If I don't work at it now, my ability to live the lifestyle I want will diminish. I'm working NOW do be able to do all of the things I love both now and later on. The desired weight and dress size just falls in line once the exercise and eating is managed.

I didn't follow any particular diet, per se, but I do think that WW is a great program. I know a lot of people who have had great success with it. I've just now in the last couple of months, started a food diary and calorie counting, to help me identify my optimal maintenance eating level. I've been very successful at LOSING weight in the past, it's keeping it off over the long term that I've had the biggest trouble with.

For me, exercise is really, really important. It burns those extra calories and keeps my head screwed on straight. When my exercise stays on plan, I can usually keep my eating in line. When my exercise falls by the wayside, the diet tends to fall apart too. It helps reduce my stress level, and makes me feel energized and happy -- giving me some illusion of control over my life, I think. I hope that helps a little bit!!