[bama girl]

I'm about 5 pounds away from my goal weight. I can't believe I made it all the way to 125 from 160. It's even harder to believe that this close to my goal weight, I'm going to have to put it on the back burner. But I have to take care of me. I didn't realize how little I had been eating until I started bruising. I have a bruise across my thigh that is literally larger than my hand, and other large ones all over my body. Nothing caused them-- they just showed up. I went to the doctor to find out why and was referred to a nutritionist after some odd bloodwork. I started logging my food intake more accurately and realized that what I was estimating to be around 1200 calories was actually more around 680 calories a day. A person CANNOT live on that. In fact, my resting metabolic rate is more than twice that much at 1400 calories a day completely sedentary.

Given my long history with eating disorders, I have to take care of me and make sure that my eating habits are consistent with what I need and my emotional state is at a place where I can give myself that. And that might mean not focusing so much on the numbers for a while until I get it straightened out. I would rather be healthy than skinny and sick. My scale is going away for now, and I am taking the numbers out of my profile/signature.

I'll still be around-- probably going to move on over to maintainers for a while and of course general discussion, because I love this place and the support and sense of community that exists here.

I'd like for people to take this as a bit of a precautionary tale. If you're in doubt about what's going on in your body, please talk to your doctor. Get to know your body and its signals. Be careful with letting numbers take a central role in your life, and please remember that the number on the scale is just a measure of your body weight-- not your self worth.

[love114]

Its a good thing you went to go see the doctor!!! 680 calories, wow! Were you not calorie counting before?

Its good to take time off then. And its okay you're only 5 pounds away from your goal. Who knows, maybe you'll like yourself at 125 and can maintain there instead

I hope you're able to overcome this and good luck with maintenance. Take care of yourself now girl!!!!

[benchmarkman]

I would call that a step forward not backwards. Its one step closer you are to living a HEALTHY life. Thin != Healthy. Again Congrats and good luck with your struggles.

[guamvixen]

Thanks for the honest post! That is a big eye opener. I wish you the best, and I hope everything will be ok for you! Good luck!

[Dianne042425]

Thank you for sharing that with us. I think it's so important for everyone to read what you had to say. When you experience things with your body that could potentially be detrimental, it's usually an eye opener. You truly need to love your body more than the numbers. I am so proud of you for taking a step back. But I dont think you have anything to worry about. You are at a healthy weight and you know how to continue to eat healthy. I hope everything goes well for you and God bless miss Bama!

[misstraveller]

Bama - Thank you for having the courage to post this! I agree, if you know something's not right, go see your doctor. Trust your instincts. I hope you are feeling better, and you'll be an awesome asset to the maintainers group

[bananapancakes]

I admire your honesty and I wish you nothing but good things. I can see how someone could just get totally lost in the numbers, I used to weigh myself daily and had to stop because I was becoming so focused on the numbers.