[funnycanadiangirl]

Hey everyone! Please be forewarned that this might be a touch long!

It's been a while since I've posted anything with the intent of creating some accountability for myself. I have been feeling really unbalanced lately. I was living abroad when I lost the majority of the weight I've lost so far, and I returned to Canada 8 months ago really excited to keep going. Since then, however, I've seriously ground to a near-halt. I don't know exactly what the reason is - whether it's returning to a full work schedule, or living at home having less control over the food in the house, or just stress (or a perfect-storm like combination thereof!), but I am starting to get really frustrated.

In two and a half weeks, I am moving again to go back to school. I'm going to broadcasting college, which is very exciting, but is also very intimidating. I've been working so hard to get 'camera-ready', but I still feel insecure. I'm hoping that the change of scenery, the opportunity to be around people who aren't prone to saying "oh my gosh, how much did you lose?!" and the new challenge will inspire me to get back on track.

In the meantime, I really need to figure out a way to get away from some bad habits. My exercise has been good - I've been working with my trainer since I got home, I've diversified my exercise pattern (I've become a total hot yoga addict!) and I've even started helping some friends in the gym - but my food intake is kind of all over the place. I know that, on some level, I will always have a complicated relationship with food, but I have been having more and more days where the plan goes out the window and I find myself eating things I wouldn't normally eat. (For example - today I decided to eat french fries. Which in itself is not a big deal, since I try to incorperate everything in moderation, except I didn't really want them. AND I didn't even eat good ones! They were gross, from frozen, oven fries. In retrospect, it just seems wasteful! And then I decided, since I'd already eaten the terrible fries, I should have some chocolate chip cookies. Which is what I should have done in the first place, since they were delicious and would have been well worth the planning to eat!!!)

I keep trying to convince myself it will be okay - that the move will help and that the fact I recognize the issues means I am fairly well prepared to deal with them. I've joined one of the Christmas goal challenges here at 3FC to re-motivate myself (30 lbs by Christmas - which would put me crazy close to my goal weight!), and I have the additional motivation of being the Maid of Honour at my best friend's wedding next summer and of being on-camera at school. I just needed to get this all out there, so I know I've talked about it, and to have the accountability, which always encourages me to keep my head up and keep working. I just need to get my motivation back!

Keep up the great work, everyone! Even when I don't post regularly, I am reading and following your stories, and I'm mad proud of all of you!