100 lb. Club - Did you ever get to a "what's the use" number?




Truffle
07-12-2010, 04:41 PM
I'm there: 290.2 today. Highest ever, and I really feel like there's no end in sight. We're having extremely hot, humid weather, and it seems like each day I get on the scale, it's gone up a little more.

I've been battling my weight, with varying degrees of success, for over 30 years now, and it's getting so frustrating now that I'm on the verge of JUST NOT TRYING any more.

It was only a few months ago that I hit the 280s. Now here I am at 290.

I just CANNOT hit 300, because if I do, I have a feeling I'll be so overwhelmed I'll just give up. I know there are people here who started at over 300, but they must have tons of inner strength or something I don't have, because lately, each time I try to lose weight, my inner strength is weaker than the time before.

I'm only 53, too young to sit in a chair or otherwise be inactive for the rest of my life.

Did you ever hit a "what's the use of trying" number? How were you able to muster up the strength and caring to give it another try?

I feel like I have SO much to lose now that, as slow as I lose, I'll NEVER make a dent in it. :(


MoveMoveMove
07-12-2010, 04:47 PM
I read somewhere on this site not long ago - every SINGLE pound counts.

I just left another thread about breaking it up into 10 lb goals.

Come on, hang in there. Tackle that one pound to the ground and make it holler uncle!!!:) You can do it. Repeat.

roxmysox
07-12-2010, 05:05 PM
I started out 7 lbs. heaver than you, and I'm 2 inches shorter so I understand where you are and how you're feeling right now. You can do this. YOU CAN! If you're struggling to find some strength and motivation, join a thread around here (there are tons!) and thrive off the accountability it provides! :hug: Good luck!


Vladadog
07-12-2010, 05:13 PM
Come on Truffle, you can do it! Yeah, it's been hotter and more humid than we're used to up here but I've been going for my walks in the morning before the heat comes on hard.

And Marcia is right, every pound counts. If you only lose a pound a week next year you'll be 50 pounds lighter. I started up where you are and I can tell you, 50 pounds makes a BIG difference. Even a pound a month would make a difference.

I'm very excited I'm losing weight but even if somehow I hadn't lost weight I know just eating healthy whole foods, staying away from junk food, and walking a mile (almost) every day would still have made a difference in my health. The losing weight is almost a bonus (although it's a great one.)

What plan are you using? Having a plan is very important!

caryesings
07-12-2010, 05:55 PM
Just think of where you will end up if you do stop trying.

Think about previous attempts you've made over the last 30 years. What parts worked for you? Incorporate those into your new plan, leave out the things that didn't work and start again. Don't try for anything extreme that will cause you to burn out. Do what you can and build from there.

rockinrobin
07-12-2010, 06:05 PM
I think I may have had a "what's the use number?". But looking back, sorry, but that is just crazy talk, ya hear?

You have the ability to lose the weight. You ARE capable of it. And no, it's got nothing to do with strength. It's got to do with WILLINGNESS.

Wait a sec - just wrote this on another thread titled "How do I start". Take a look, it may be apropos:

We hear a lot about finding a plan that you CAN stick to. Well, I say combine that with finding/devising a plan that you are WILLING to stick to. To me, the willingness is much more vital.

At some point you have to come to the realization that a change must occur. That you can't go on eating whatever, whenever. So you have to come to terms with that and realize there is some restrictive component to losing weight, getting to a healthy weight and staying there. So you have to want this and you have to be willing to make the changes that are necessary to make it happen.

But the good thing is, I think anyone who's gotten to goal (and those well on their way), that once you get past that initial, temporary discomfort stage or transition period of losing the bad habits and incorporating the new healthy ones that you will realize that it's not so restrictive at all. That it is freeing. That the real restrictiveness, the real deprivation comes from remaining fat. Once you work past the initial tough stage of breaking the bad habits, allowing the good habits to take hold, you will see it's not all that hard. Really.

I would love for you to start by getting excited. Get excited about the changes you are about to implement. Because adhering to a healthy lifestyle is no prison sentence, but a key to freedom that will open up more doors to you than you can possibly imagine, ones you didn't even realize were closed.

I would also start by ridding my home of the junk - you can't eat it if it's not there. It benefits no one. Get rid of the junk it is the only way, but please load it up with tons of lower calorie, healthy DELICIOUS items. Be creative!

I would then make a plan - and stick to that sucker like glue. Plan out each and every meal and snack, leaving nothing to chance. This is too important - you can't wing it. Much easier to stay on plan when you've got one.

Be creative. Make substitutions. Scrounge around the net for healthy recipes and foods.

Also start by knowing that you CAN do this - regardless of your prior history. You 10000% have the ability to lose the weight. We are all capable of it. You don't have to be fat if you don't want to be.

MAke the decision to do this no matter what, once and for all and permanently. But please set yourself up for success. Write down everything you eat - no exceptions and again - get rid of the junk - add in the good stuff and plan your foods ahead of time - taking them with you if need be. Plan, plan and than plan some more

Wrote this on another thread recently, I also think it's fitting:

I think one of the biggest problems is that people (I was surely one of them for decades) think that adhering to a healthy lifestyle - eating well - is some kind of miserable thing. But it's not. It's not!!! You must look for the joy in this - not the dread. You must focus on what you are GAINING - not giving up. Fairly quickly into my journey I fell in love with eating right. It turned out to be a joy, not the burden I always feared.

It's a matter of working past that initial, temporary discomfort stage as your old eating habits die down and you incorporate the new healthy ones. That is the most difficult stage. But you MUST push through it. You must, you must, you must. It is the only way. You've just got to suck it up and do it. You have to hang on till you get to that sweet spot - of the old habits dying down and the new habits taking over. And they do. They do! This new healthy lifestyle eventually becomes automatic, second nature - and yes - enjoyable. But you must allow it to, working past that initial discomfort.

You also mentioned that you lose slow (not that losing at any pace isn't good!) - I must ask you this - is it because you veer off plan, even slightly. Because if you ask me, staying strictly on plan is good for many reasons - it makes this whole process much easier - never mind that you will lose weight faster, but yes that too - because it's quite motivating. But when you veer off, even slightly, it take muccccch longer for the good habits to take hold - and that's what makes the journey harder. The sooner you get the good habits ingrained, the easier it gets. But you've got to push past that discomfort. You've just got to. It's worth it. Get through it any which way that you can. Push. Push. PUSH. FIND OUT WHAT YOU ARE CAPABLE OF!

There IS a point - and a darn good one. :hug:

kaplods
07-12-2010, 06:17 PM
I've been dieting since I was 5 years old, and in a very real sense I dieted my way to 394 lbs, and a lot of it was due to "what's the use" thinking.

When I was 5, my parents primised me two painted turtles if I would lose 8 lbs (to bring me into the "normal" range for my height).

I remember losing 4 lbs of it (because I was convinced that I had earned one turtle, and considered it quite unfair that my parents expected me to lose all 8 lbs, before I could get both).

Somewhere between the 4th and 8th lb, the turtles disappeared from my kindergarten classroom, because they'd become illegal (or were soon to become illegal) because of the salmonella risk. I learned there would be no pet turtles for me.

I'm sure my parents tried to bribe me with something else, but I was heartbroken and refused to cooperate with the dieting. "What's the use....."

Every weight loss attempt I made, ended because I thought "What's the use." Whenever the weight was coming off too slow for my unrealistic expectations, I took it as proof that I was doomed to be fat forever "what's the use."

In 8th grade, after a very bad ankle sprain I was given a doctor's excuse to get out of gym class for the remainder of the year. The doctor also prescribed diet pills and promised an extention of the p.e. waiver as long as I continued to lose weight and promised to exercise at home.

By junior year I weighed 155 lbs, just shy of my goal of 150. I was struggling. The diet pills weren't working any more, and it was a struggle just to maintain my weight. My doctor decided to lower my goal weight to 140 lbs. In hindsight, I think he probably was trying to remotivate me. I think he assumed that I was thinking that 155 lbs was "close enough." But the opposite was true. 150 lbs was so close and yet so far away, that when the doctor lowered my goal another 10 lbs - I snapped. How I wished I had told the doctor to go to blazes (a very sweet man, but misguided as to diet motivation) and considered 155 my new goal weight - or continued to strive for 150.

Instead I decided that the doctor was telling me I was still too fat, and that thin wasn't possible for me "What's the use," and I regained all of the weight plus another 15.

I repeated this over and over until I weighed about 300 lbs. I encountered the fat acceptance movement and was introduced to the idea that dieting was more effective in causing weight gain, than weight loss - and it sure seemed true for me, so I swore off dieting for several years (during which time I didn't gain weight, I didn't lose weight either - it seemed to prove the "setpoint" theory).

Then I herniated a disc and had to lose weight in order to hopefully prevent the need for surgery. It started the yoyoing all over again.

Fast forward to "this time." I've been trying to lose weight for the last five years. I've lost slower than ever before, but I've also kept the weight off longer than ever before and it's only because "this time" I will not succumb to "what's the use thinking."

The first year I lost 20 lbs without trying (probably a result of my treatment for sleep apnea. The doctors told me I might lose some weight without trying, but I didn't believe it until I saw it). The next two years were spent trying to diet, but not having much success (but I refused to use "what's the use" as a reason to go "off" my weight loss plan). Even during those two years when I had no new weight loss and only maintained the 20 lbs I lost initially, I made a lot of health improvements even without the weight loss. Those health improvements were successes and I didn't dismiss them as unimportant. It really was encouraging to remember that even if I lost no weight at all, there were health improvements to be made by eating healthier and moving more.

I swore that every pound mattered, and that even when weight loss didn't seem possible, weight maintenance was. Even when I saw a gain on the scale, I swore not allow myself to think "what's the use," and instead think "at least I can make sure I don't gain (or gain any more).

For me, it was key to see weight loss as a result, not a behavior. I cannot choose to lose weight, I can only choose to take actions that are likely to result in weight loss. Side benefit is a good way to look at it.

"This time" is also different in that I did not commit to weight loss, I committed to changes that I could see myself making whether or not they led to weight loss.

This is an important distinction, because there are some healthy behaviors that can actually seem counterproductive if weight loss is your only measure of success. For example, exercise often results (in the short term) in weight gain for a couple reasons. Water retention to repair and build muscle tissue. Increased hunger and cravings. When weight loss is the only goal, seeing the weight fluctuations can make it very tempting to give up exercise. In the long-run though exercise helps weight loss (and more importantly is healthy in its own right).

The scale is only one measure of success. If I list all of the health improvements and physical and psychological benefits - the scale is actually the least of them. When I start to think "what's the use," I start asking myself if I really want to lose all of the improvements I made. Do I want to go back to needing my husband's help to tie my shoes?

I'm sorry for the long, ranting monologue, but this is such a passionate issue for me. If I could change one thing in my life it would be to have never, ever thought "what's the use."

"What's the use," has been the single most destructive force in my life - and I've seen it in the lives of others. With my degree in psych and my experience in social services and law enforcement, I saw it in the people I worked with. As a probation officer I saw people with the same attitude that kept me from losing weight. The career criminal who wanted to go straight, but thought "what's the use... no one will give me a chance anyway." The mother who'd had her kids taken away and stopped fighting to regain custody, because "what's the use.... my kids are better off without me, and I don't know how to change and every time I try I fail...."


Learned helplessness is a very powerful force. When you don't see results for your efforts, you give up. You stop trying and you begin to assume that change isn't possible.

But often we don't see success because we don't know where to look for it. When I looked for success only on the scale, I was disappointed too often for me to feel that my choices were worthwhile. I had to change my definition of success, and I had to broaden my definition of progress.

We're taught in dieting that only perfection "counts." How many times has one mouthfull of food led us to think "what's the use." I don't care if that mouthful is pure butter, no weight loss effort is made or broken by one mouthful of food. But we think that way, because we're taught to. It's as if one bite of off-plan food will "poof" magically undo all of the weight loss efforts to that point. And we make it true by deciding to eat off plan until we can "start over" and retry perfection.


If we were climbing a mountain and slipped and fell backwards a few steps, we wouldn't throw ourselves over the cliff so that we could "start fresh" from the bottom, but with dieting we do it all the time. That's how "it's done," in our culture. To make progress, you really have to rethink weight loss. The traditions of weight loss make it ineffective. We have to change the rules in order to succeed, and often the first tradition that has to be broken is "what's the use" thinking.

Removing "what's the use" thinking almost guarantees your success. As they say a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step, and if you refuse to backtrack you will reach your destination eventually. Even if you only take one step a day, you'll eventually get there as long as you don't decide to go back to the beginning because the journey's too hard.

Shmead
07-12-2010, 06:53 PM
For me, "What's the use" thinking was an excuse. If I decided it was pointless, I could have a good cry, wail at the gods a bit, beat myself up a bit for "letting it reach this point" and then go on with my life, desperately unhappy but resigned. It allowed me to accept my misery and live with it and was less scary than actually committing to change (which I dreaded, mostly because I thought weight loss = very low calorie ****).

I don't know you and I have no reason to think this is true for you, but I put it out there as a lesson I learned the hard way.

rockinrobin
07-12-2010, 07:21 PM
For me, "What's the use" thinking was an excuse. If I decided it was pointless, I could have a good cry, wail at the gods a bit, beat myself up a bit for "letting it reach this point" and then go on with my life, desperately unhappy but resigned. It allowed me to accept my misery and live with it and was less scary than actually committing to change (which I dreaded, mostly because I thought weight loss = very low calorie ****).
.

This describes me and my experience to a *T*. In fact, I "experienced" it many times over the decades.

About that commitment to change though (a bit off topic) - for me, it got to the point, that as scary as committing to the change was, it was scarier NOT to change.

ubergirl
07-12-2010, 07:23 PM
I'm there: 290.2 today. Highest ever, and I really feel like there's no end in sight. We're having extremely hot, humid weather, and it seems like each day I get on the scale, it's gone up a little more.

I've been battling my weight, with varying degrees of success, for over 30 years now, and it's getting so frustrating now that I'm on the verge of JUST NOT TRYING any more.

It was only a few months ago that I hit the 280s. Now here I am at 290.

I just CANNOT hit 300, because if I do, I have a feeling I'll be so overwhelmed I'll just give up. I know there are people here who started at over 300, but they must have tons of inner strength or something I don't have, because lately, each time I try to lose weight, my inner strength is weaker than the time before.

I'm only 53, too young to sit in a chair or otherwise be inactive for the rest of my life.

Did you ever hit a "what's the use of trying" number? How were you able to muster up the strength and caring to give it another try?

I feel like I have SO much to lose now that, as slow as I lose, I'll NEVER make a dent in it. :(

:hug::hug::hug::hug:

Yes. I hit the "What's the use?" number at 231. I was 31 years old. I thought that I'd never be happy weighing more than 150, the weight I weighed through high school and most of college. I did the math. That was 81 pounds. I had never in my entire life heard of or met anyone who had lost that much. So I gave up.

BOY WAS THAT STUPID.

I had to gain 65 more pounds and get 19 years older before I realized that I was becoming disabled and I was doing it to myself.

Here's the big secret: it is NOT harder to lose 100 lbs than it is to lose 20 lbs. The first 20 are the hardest, because that's the part where you are still not convinced you are going to succeed. Ask anyone here, and they'll tell you it gets easier and easier.

The second big secret: you don't have to lose 100 lbs to feel one hundred million times better. Getting that BMI down from 45 to 35 was HUGE for me. With a BMI of 45 I had A LOT of trouble doing basic daily activities. By the time I got down to a BMI of 35 I felt GREAT.

I'm 49 and I had never succeeded before. The past does not predict the future.

Truffle
07-12-2010, 07:38 PM
Come on Truffle, you can do it! Yeah, it's been hotter and more humid than we're used to up here but I've been going for my walks in the morning before the heat comes on hard.

What plan are you using? Having a plan is very important!

Wow, what a lot of excellent replies on this thread! Thank you for your thoughts.

Vladadog, I'm afraid I veer back and forth on which plans to try, never being able to settle on one. With all my heart, I feel that low carb would be the best way to go for health, yet I cannot stick with it, even for a day. I go back and forth between simply trying to count calories, blow it, then try low carbing again, but blow that too, then I give up until I can psych myself up for a new try at something.

Kaplods, I could identify with much that you said. For the most part, I've "dieted" my way up the scale too. I've also tried the non-diet/intuitive eating route, and it worked for awhile, until I let somebody talk me into joining them on whatever diet program they were doing. I also tried the size acceptance route, but I can't fool myself: I HATE being fat, and I can't quite see remaining this big for the rest of my life. It hinders too many things.

I feel like I'm too exhausted, physically and emotionally, to try again, but I don't want to give up and throw in the towel either.

I love what you said about how, if we slip when climbing a mountain, we don't fling ourselves off the cliff just so we can "start fresh" at the bottom. That's exactly what we do, I do. And that eating-one-wrong-bite-wrecks-everything gets me every time too.

Rockin' Robin, I do veer off course all the time, but the reason I lose very slowly is because I'm hypothyroid, and even on medication, I have a hard time losing more than four or five times pounds before my weight starts going back up again. It gets discouraging.

I'm having a difficult time getting motivated right now because this month has just been SO hot that all I want to do is sit in a chair as much as possible. I couldn't imagine going out to walk in this heat, even though, when I was much lighter several years ago, I did it every day.

Shmead
07-12-2010, 07:42 PM
This describes me and my experience to a *T*. In fact, I "experienced" it many times over the decades.

About that commitment to change though (a bit off topic) - for me, it got to the point, that as scary as committing to the change was, it was scarier NOT to change.

You know how I realized it was an excuse? It was my students (I am a teacher). Every year, I'd have kids come up a week before the end of the grading period and ask if there was any way they could pass. One day I realized that they were secretly relieved if I said "No, I think this six weeks is hopeless"--I mean, they'd get upset, and cry a little, but after that they were off the hook, which is what they really wanted. They wanted permission to quit trying.

jenlag
07-12-2010, 07:49 PM
Truffle, how can we help you? Help you get started, help you stay on tracking and off of the gaining track? What are you doing, eating etc?

For me, my highest weight was 292 lbs. Whoever said the first 20 is the hardest was correct. I always looked for a quick fix, what could I do to 'jump start' my weight loss. Ah yes, this fad diet promises I will lose 9 pounds in 11 days. I didn't have a clue as to what it took to lose weight. My knowledge came from God, literally, He ordained my weight loss journey. I incorporated The Prism and that was truly my 'jump start' into weight loss success.

Perhaps we can give you pointers. For me, I had to start with my fridge, freezer and pantry. It needed a complete make-over. I thought I was doing okay, fat free this, light that, low calorie this - ALL PROCESSED FOODS!!!

Food got us to that pinnacle turning point of life, where enough is enough and food will get your weight down. No matter what, just breathing everyday can constitute weight loss and calorie deficits.

plumptobump
07-12-2010, 08:12 PM
Wow, what amazing responses you have gotten on here already! I dont feel like I can weigh in (no pun intended, haha) yet as I am just starting the journey as well...again. But I wanted to say that yes, I have played the "whats the point" game MANY times, and every time I come back to the conclusion that there is always a point. No matter how many times I have failed and how many times I have wanted to throw it all in for good, I have always come back to the fact that deep down, I WANT to do this...for my kids, for my husband, for me. And I think deep down you do too...and like rockinrobin says, willingness is KEY. You CAN do this (as can I)!! As for the thyroid issue, is it possible you might need your meds adjusted??

Xan
07-12-2010, 08:17 PM
This has been a terrific thread with a lot of good advice, and very heartfelt encouragement. I'm getting ready to do one more restart and it's so helpful to read those who have overcome defeatism. Thank you.

losermom
07-12-2010, 08:36 PM
Rockin' Robin, I do veer off course all the time, but the reason I lose very slowly is because I'm hypothyroid, and even on medication, I have a hard time losing more than four or five times pounds before my weight starts going back up again. It gets discouraging.


Truffle, I too am hypothyroid. I have been on medication for 12 years. I agree it may be a good idea to have your levels checked with your dr as thyroid levels can fluctuate.

But more importantly, I want you to understand this. I too felt that I would never be able to lose weight because of my thyroid. True, my loss was slower than others. True, I did not lose any weight for 3-4 months at the beginning of my journey. But I did start to lose slowly. I had to believe that if I continued, even at a slow pace to 4-7 lbs a month, that I would reach my weight goal. I refused to let the weight win! I would not give up! I know that you feel like you are trapped--many of us have been there. But like Robin states, eating well and moving is the ticket to freedom. Eating well makes me feel so good, both inside and out. Exercise makes me feel even better! Getting plenty of rest is so restorative. Taking really good care of myself is my gift to myself. I deserve the very best and you do too. :hug:

Matilda08
07-12-2010, 08:49 PM
I think I may have had a "what's the use number?". But looking back, sorry, but that is just crazy talk, ya hear?

You have the ability to lose the weight. You ARE capable of it. And no, it's got nothing to do with strength. It's got to do with WILLINGNESS.

Wait a sec - just wrote this on another thread titled "How do I start". Take a look, it may be apropos:

We hear a lot about finding a plan that you CAN stick to. Well, I say combine that with finding/devising a plan that you are WILLING to stick to. To me, the willingness is much more vital.

At some point you have to come to the realization that a change must occur. That you can't go on eating whatever, whenever. So you have to come to terms with that and realize there is some restrictive component to losing weight, getting to a healthy weight and staying there. So you have to want this and you have to be willing to make the changes that are necessary to make it happen.

But the good thing is, I think anyone who's gotten to goal (and those well on their way), that once you get past that initial, temporary discomfort stage or transition period of losing the bad habits and incorporating the new healthy ones that you will realize that it's not so restrictive at all. That it is freeing. That the real restrictiveness, the real deprivation comes from remaining fat. Once you work past the initial tough stage of breaking the bad habits, allowing the good habits to take hold, you will see it's not all that hard. Really.

I would love for you to start by getting excited. Get excited about the changes you are about to implement. Because adhering to a healthy lifestyle is no prison sentence, but a key to freedom that will open up more doors to you than you can possibly imagine, ones you didn't even realize were closed.

I would also start by ridding my home of the junk - you can't eat it if it's not there. It benefits no one. Get rid of the junk it is the only way, but please load it up with tons of lower calorie, healthy DELICIOUS items. Be creative!

I would then make a plan - and stick to that sucker like glue. Plan out each and every meal and snack, leaving nothing to chance. This is too important - you can't wing it. Much easier to stay on plan when you've got one.

Be creative. Make substitutions. Scrounge around the net for healthy recipes and foods.

Also start by knowing that you CAN do this - regardless of your prior history. You 10000% have the ability to lose the weight. We are all capable of it. You don't have to be fat if you don't want to be.

MAke the decision to do this no matter what, once and for all and permanently. But please set yourself up for success. Write down everything you eat - no exceptions and again - get rid of the junk - add in the good stuff and plan your foods ahead of time - taking them with you if need be. Plan, plan and than plan some more

Wrote this on another thread recently, I also think it's fitting:

I think one of the biggest problems is that people (I was surely one of them for decades) think that adhering to a healthy lifestyle - eating well - is some kind of miserable thing. But it's not. It's not!!! You must look for the joy in this - not the dread. You must focus on what you are GAINING - not giving up. Fairly quickly into my journey I fell in love with eating right. It turned out to be a joy, not the burden I always feared.

It's a matter of working past that initial, temporary discomfort stage as your old eating habits die down and you incorporate the new healthy ones. That is the most difficult stage. But you MUST push through it. You must, you must, you must. It is the only way. You've just got to suck it up and do it. You have to hang on till you get to that sweet spot - of the old habits dying down and the new habits taking over. And they do. They do! This new healthy lifestyle eventually becomes automatic, second nature - and yes - enjoyable. But you must allow it to, working past that initial discomfort.

You also mentioned that you lose slow (not that losing at any pace isn't good!) - I must ask you this - is it because you veer off plan, even slightly. Because if you ask me, staying strictly on plan is good for many reasons - it makes this whole process much easier - never mind that you will lose weight faster, but yes that too - because it's quite motivating. But when you veer off, even slightly, it take muccccch longer for the good habits to take hold - and that's what makes the journey harder. The sooner you get the good habits ingrained, the easier it gets. But you've got to push past that discomfort. You've just got to. It's worth it. Get through it any which way that you can. Push. Push. PUSH. FIND OUT WHAT YOU ARE CAPABLE OF!

There IS a point - and a darn good one. :hug:

again, true words of wisdom!!! Im taking this all in......

time2lose
07-12-2010, 09:37 PM
Truffle,
You have gotten some very good advice here. I know that getting started is very very hard but, please believe that it is possible. We have much in common. I was 53 when I started and weighed 291. I am a couple of inches shorter than you. I am also hypothyroid and think that slows down my weight loss. I think that I hit my "what's the use" number at about 250 pounds, so I ate my way up to the 291. Where I was miserable, simply miserable. I decided that I had to lose some weight or just go to bed and not get up. I did not believe that I could possiblly lose a large amount of weight but aimed at losing just a few pounds, or at least to stop the upward movement.

Start easy. I first limited myself to 1800 calories a day which was really a lot of food. Don't worry about exercising in the heat. At this stage, just concentrate on your food. This fall you can start walking when it gets cooler.

YOU CAN DO THIS!

jenlag
07-12-2010, 10:03 PM
For those of you who may have never read this, it's very powerful, written by member PlatinumGI

Dear Food

I love you so intensely, it hurts me to be away from you. Youíve been with me through all of my good and bad times. Youíre the longest relationship Iíve had. I depend on you to help me up when I fall. Our intimate nights alone when no one else is around are so wonderful. Itís a secret love affair that gives me more satisfaction than I can ever remember. You are without question, my addiction. Even when there are times that I feel frustrated at the things youíve done to me, I always run right back to you. My safety blanket, my rock, my ever loving and understanding companion. You are here for me when everyone else fails to love me in a way I need or want. I couldnít possibly ever live my life without you, a few days without you and I would perish. Even just a day without you I would get lonely & weak. I hate that I feel this way about you. It makes me so angry that I canít just walk away and never turn back. Youíve got me so entangled in this dysfunctional relationship. How could you do this to me ? Youíre supposed to love me and maybe you do, but my love for you is slowly killing me. I canít live without you but I canít live loving you the way I do either. I know youíve supported me, I know youíve always been there when I needed you. I know sometimes you were the only one around. How can I possibly turn my back on you now. Somehow I have to find the strength. I know you want me to explain myself. Itís just so difficult to say these words when I know after they are said I have to walk away. With youíre support youíve also brought me shame. Youíve brought sadness and hurt into my life. Youíve made me feel so down about who I am and what I look like. Itís gotten so bad over the past few years that I canít even look at myself in the mirror without thinking Iím disgusting. I remember I used to look in mirrors passing by, now I keep my head down. If I do happen to catch a glimpse, I run to you for comfort because I hate myself and you do what you do best. Honestly, your best is hurting me and I canít take it anymore. Itís finally at the point that my disgust with myself is way beyond the feeling I get when Iím around you. Weíve been down this road before so many times. You comfort me when I feel down, but then after the comforting is over I feel even worse. How is it that I let myself be satisfied with just a few mins of comfort when I deserve so much more ? I deserve to feel good about myself. I deserve everything Iíve always looked for in you but never found. I deserve the comfort without the guilt. You give me so much guilt. You provide so much negativity in my life that I canít see clearly at times. When I get comfort elsewhere it never feels as good and at the same time never hurts at much. How messed up is that ? I still, no matter how hard I try, canít understand how you make me feel so amazing and then with the blink of an eye you turn on me and make me feel terrible. Iím done, I canít do this tug of war anymore with you. Iím so tired of all the anger & pain. Iím done shedding all these tears over how you make me feel. Iím so confused and how you do the things you do, youíre ruthless. I wish it didnít have to be this way but itís for my own good. All these years I spent looking to you for things you couldnít give me has done awful things to my mental and physical health. I must be strong. I know that no matter how much I beg you, youíll never leave my side. Youíll be everywhere I am and there is not a single thing I can do about that. My only choice is to co-exist and to be civil. Since I know that youíll always be there watching and waiting for me to have a weak moment, Iíll have to be stronger than Iíve been before. Itís ok, you stay there & watch me. Iíll forget you, Iíll forget those times you were there for me, Iíll forget those times you made me laugh, Iíll forget every fake happy memory I had with you. What I wonít forget is how awful you have made me feel every time I thought I could let you in. Now I know, as long as Iím strong, you can be in my life, but not the way you were before. It can never be that way again. You destroy to much of me when I bring you close. I have no choice but to accept youíll always be waiting for me to fall again but no matter how bad I might feel like I want you, Iím done. I will never fall victim to your powerful, deceitful ways again. I love you & I probably always will but itís over.

Written by: Me (Vanessa) (http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/weight-loss-support/196968-dear-food.html)

MissKelly
07-12-2010, 10:07 PM
Everyone has given such great advice & if I say anything itll just be repeating what they already said....so Im sending you the best of wishes & a :hug:

Truffle
07-12-2010, 10:08 PM
Where I was miserable, simply miserable. I decided that I had to lose some weight or just go to bed and not get up. I did not believe that I could possiblly lose a large amount of weight but aimed at losing just a few pounds, or at least to stop the upward movement.

Start easy. I first limited myself to 1800 calories a day which was really a lot of food. Don't worry about exercising in the heat. At this stage, just concentrate on your food. This fall you can start walking when it gets cooler.

YOU CAN DO THIS!

Thank you for all the great encouragement on this thread! I'm not sure how anyone can help me, but I appreciate it that you asked. :-)

I guess I'm just discouraged, exhausted, and too hot right now. I know summer heat would be a lot easier to deal with if I wasn't wearing over a hundred pounds extra on my body. :(

My thyroid levels are fine; I do have them checked regularly.

I'm at the point mentioned above: I either have to lose some of this weight, or just go to bed and not get up. I also know I have to first stop the upward trend again.

Even though I have ZERO, or close to zero, motivation at this moment, I'm going to try again tomorrow. At least that's something. ;)

Windchime
07-12-2010, 10:36 PM
Wow, the collective wisdom of this group is amazing! I don't think I have much to add, except for this: The "all or nothing" mentality was something I had for quite awhile, and that was an excuse for me. An excuse to throw caution to the wind and just eat myself sick. Because really, it doesn't make sense, does it.....does one little handful of Dorito's REALLY ruin an entire day of good eating? No, it doesn't. But saying, "What the heck" and polishing off the family-sized bag sure will!

I think I was using "perfectionism" or "all or nothing" thinking as a secret excuse for allowing myself to believe I was trying, while also getting to continue eating whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted. I do not know if this is true for everyone, but it's something to consider and examine, and see if it might be true for you.

Please, head over to the goal section. Read the stories of Matt and Robin and LoriBell and countless others. Until I came here to 3FC, I honestly didn't know or believe that people could lose significant amounts of weight and keep it off. Their stories and pictures are nothing short of amazing, but they are no more special than you or I. If they can do it, so can we!

rockinrobin
07-12-2010, 10:50 PM
I'm at the point mentioned above: I either have to lose some of this weight, or just go to bed and not get up. I also know I have to first stop the upward trend again.

Even though I have ZERO, or close to zero, motivation at this moment, I'm going to try again tomorrow. At least that's something. ;)

I also agree that exercise should not be your *main* focus right now. It's the food. You've got to get the food in check. You've got to come to that realization that the consequences are just to high. That the pay off for eating all that food is no longer worth it.

When the pain of overeating overtakes the pleasure derived from it - that's a sure sign that one is ready to make the change. I think you're there.

So what have you planned for tomorrow? How is this time going to be different? What sounds most appealing to you? How do you think you can best set yourself up for success? You can answer them here if you like, but it's mostly intended for you to really think about it - and then come up with some answers. Make some rules, set some boundaries and limits. What are you willing to do?

Remember you don't have to give into a craving. It's okay to tell yourself no. In fact, you will find it feels marvelous. Give it time. Don't give in. Ride it out. It gets easier each and every time.

Think of other things to do besides eat. Plan for it right now. Get some strategies in place so when the urge hits you'll have something to turn to. Find some coping skills.

And please, please find some delicious, healthy, lower calorie foods to eat. They're out there. If the on plan food that you're eating is so good, there's no reason to go off plan.

Remember, you have the ability to do this. Don't ever forget it. Dig. Down. Deep. It's there. You have the power to do this.

We are all pulling for you. :hug:

kendra
07-13-2010, 12:26 AM
So many good replies, all I have to add is what i've done to keep myself from being overwhelmed. I literally take it 1 pound at a time. I haven't picked a goal weight because at this point it would feel overwhelming or feel like it will take forever to get there. I will continue to lose 1 pound at a time until I get to a point where I feel comfortable picking a goal weight. As long as I keep going down that's all that matters because I am getting healthier. :)
You can do this!

TaraLee
07-13-2010, 01:16 AM
Truffles, I'm right here with ya girl.

You hit the nail so perfectly on the head about what I've been feeling.

There's been great advice so I'm just here to offer a :hug:

Windchime
07-13-2010, 01:16 AM
So many good replies, all I have to add is what i've done to keep myself from being overwhelmed. I literally take it 1 pound at a time.

This is actually really good advice. Sometimes we think that a pound isn't a lot, and by itself, maybe it isn't. But they do add up. Even if you just lost a pound a week and nothing more, in a year you'd be 50 pounds down. 52, actually. And 50 IS a lot. Actually, 10 is a lot. Go carry a ten-pound bag of potatoes around the grocery store for awhile if you don't believe me!

It all adds up. Every little bit adds up. So a pound at a time is a great way to look at it.

rockinrobin
07-13-2010, 06:09 AM
Yes, by all means take it a pound at a time. You chip away and chip away at the *big* number one pound at a time.

But I say, don't even think about and focus on the scale - focus on the behaviors. Get those good healthy eating behaviors down pat. Focus intently on finding foods that you love, focus on telling yourself no, focus on finding strategies and coping techniques to get you through each and every situation - boredom, loneliness, happiness, stress, anger, celebrations, whatever. Focus on meal planning and healthy menus, focus on customizing your plan and making it your own. Focus on the behaviors and that scale WILL go down.

gmailjunkie
07-13-2010, 07:20 AM
Please excuse me if this is full of typos but I'm late to work and wanted to share.

Soda was my waterloo. There was a time in my life (like eight days ago) where an ice cold can of coke was always JUST the thing i needed/ I used to drink tons of it.(The real kind- I think diet is gross-even though the real kind is gross too) Cans and Cans and Cans and day. There have been times before now where I have stopped having soda. Several days even but I was always stressed out about not having it-it was a constant conversation, of "no, you can't have that -don't do it, don't do it" like training a really young puppy with a crappy learning curve and all of that was REALLY stressful. Having soda was stressfull emotionally and physically and not having it was extra stressfull emotionally.Recently the last few times I would give it up I would literally only last hours though.

Here's the thing- I have an inflammatory condition that's made worse by stress and the condition itself is horrible (people who have the more advanced forms of it take vicodin for the pain and turn anemic in spite of perfectly fine diets because of the stress the disease is to their system). I'm not there yet-thank God-but there is no doubt in my mind that unless I make a big lifestyle change my chance of getting there goes way up and it's bad enough as it is now.

But on July 7- less than a week ago. I decided that I was ready to start taking really good care of myself -which means no more junk, which means no more coke. And I haven't wanted it. I don't feel like I am depriving myself of it.It seems like a really ridiculous thing to want now. Why on earth was I craving what is essentially poison to my body? So for the first time in my life Soda isn't stressing me out and it AMAZING how different I feel physically after less than a week from not having that pressure on my system.

And ALL it was- was a THOUGHT. I changed how I THOUGHT about something. It didn't involve any other active effort.

So if ALL I got out of deciding to change my life with respect to my weight was this relief it would have been well worth it. Even if I never lost a pound (though I intend to lose lots of them). I say all of that- to say this- There's always a reason to try. You just have to think about things differently.

Good Luck

time2lose
07-13-2010, 09:02 AM
Robin originally posted Yes, by all means take it a pound at a time. You chip away and chip away at the *big* number one pound at a time.

But I say, don't even think about and focus on the scale - focus on the behaviors. Get those good healthy eating behaviors down pat. Focus intently on finding foods that you love, focus on telling yourself no, focus on finding strategies and coping techniques to get you through each and every situation - boredom, loneliness, happiness, stress, anger, celebrations, whatever. Focus on meal planning and healthy menus, focus on customizing your plan and making it your own. Focus on the behaviors and that scale WILL go down.

Robin is right on the money. Take it one day at a time, focus on the behaviors you need TODAY. It can be time consuming at first, but so worth the time. In a few days, you will have everything in order and it won't take much time. Actually, I think my first week was easier because I spent all my free time planning. It kept me busy.

Stop and think. What do you need to do today to make this journey easier? What plans do you need to get in place? Make food lists and then grocery lists. Surf the Internet to find healthy foods and recipes that sound good or interesting to you. Think about your problem times and what strategies might work for you. Make lists of what you are looking forward to doing. Set some mini-goals. One of my mini-goals was to be able to walk from the parking garage at work to my office without having to stop to rest. Give yourself something to look forward to. As Robin often says, get excited. This is going to be wonderful! You have so many wonderful things ahead of you.

Of course, eat healthy today. Set yourself a limit of some sort and stick with it. I recommend a calorie limit but that is because it worked well for me. Something else might fit your personality but decide what you want to try and start. You sound so much like me that I wonder if the strategies I used will work for you. I started 1200 calorie diets many times and gave up on them quickly. So I decided to start at 1800 calories. That was much easier.

I like to read, so I read and read. If you are a reader, here are a few sites that really helped me. I didn't find 3FC until a few months into my journey but this entire forum helped me. Be sure to read the goal and mini-goal posts and view the pictures.

* The Hacker's Diet - http://www.fourmilab.ch/hackdiet/ (http://www.fourmilab.ch/hackdiet/)
* http://www.cdc.gov/obesity/resources.html
* http://www.webmd.com/diet/default.htm
* http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/weight-loss/MY00432
* The National Weight Control Registry (http://www.nwcr.ws/) - I am looking forward to joining that study.
* Today Show's Joy Fit Club (http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/25708021/ns/today-today_health)

You don't have to be Superwoman. You just have to deal with today. You can do this!

TXMary2
07-13-2010, 09:04 AM
Truffle, there is tons of wisdom and experience here for you to gleam from. You said you didn't know what plan to do and that you couldn't stick to low carbs. I just want to say that I have a carb addiction too....so I just count calories and on my quest to eat within my calorie range there are many days where I naturally ate less carbs. I just don't focus on that right now because I just needed to get started. Now that I have lost 26 pounds the road feels easier. I still have a long way to go, but in my experience getting started was the hardest part. Don't worry about exercise right now either. Just focus on getting the food in check.

My mother is 59 and two weeks ago she decided to change. She was inspired and encouraged by me and also her doctor ticked her off by telling her losing weight would be too hard at her age. Anyway, she was 272 and is 5'6". She started calorie counting and logs everything on Fitday. She started walking too, but the first day she just went down her driveway and two houses down. Two weeks later she can walk for 20 minutes before needing to stop. She lost 9 pounds the first week and 3 the second week. She drinks lots of water and is eating on average 1600 calories a day. Having those first victories has her even more inspired. Just start and stay true and you WILL feel better. You can do it!!!

Vladadog
07-13-2010, 09:45 AM
I'm afraid I veer back and forth on which plans to try, never being able to settle on one. With all my heart, I feel that low carb would be the best way to go for health, yet I cannot stick with it, even for a day. I go back and forth between simply trying to count calories, blow it, then try low carbing again, but blow that too, then I give up until I can psych myself up for a new try at something.

I'm with you on the low-carb thing. Deep down I'm convinced that lo carb is probably the way to go. But I also know I can't do it. I can switch to all whole grains and eliminate "the whites" but I'm not at a place where I can let go of the whole grain breads and pastas. I eat less, but they are still part of my life.

So I didn't even try lo carb. Like you, I wouldn't have been able to stick with it.

So I started just by getting rid of refined sugars and trying to eat more whole foods - no fast foods, no (heavily) processed foods. I didn't count calories or carbs or anything more than just spent a couple months seriously not eating junk food and trying to choose healthier food - brown rice rather than white, whole grain bread, wheat pasta, more fresh veggies and fruit.

I did lose some weight doing that - about 5 pounds a month and that made me very happy and encouraged me. But I felt better just from eating healthier foods. And once the healthier food habits were pretty set I was ready to start counting calories - a week or so of just counting everything I ate without trying to limit, to get a feel for how much I was regularly eating, when I was most hungry, most tired, most bored and likely to go looking for food. So by the time I set a 1550 calorie limit it was really pretty easy. Most days I'm in the 1300 range and I'm never hungry. I could have set a higher limit and still be losing weight but for me 1550 is plenty of calories to keep me happy and satisfied.

It's easy to get overwhelmed by the amount of weight to lose, the big changes in eating, the sheer size of task. But small changes can make big differences. The weeks add up - they add up no matter what you do. Fifty-two weeks from now you'll be a year older...

You can do this!

KimL1214
07-13-2010, 09:52 AM
Truffle~ I also live in VT, so I know how you feel about the weather. It's different and frustrating as I want to increase my activity, but the weather keeps me from wanting to do it outside. I think everyone hits a point of frustration when they see a number on the scale that really scares them. I know 280 was mine, but I used the scare to help jump start my weight loss. That would be my suggestion. Use your frustration, plan things out, and get going. You can do this, and this place is a great site to come whenever you need that extra push or kick in the A**. We're here for you. Feel free to PM me if you wanna chat, share issues, etc. You've got this. The challenge is to stop just thinking about doing something, and really getting up and doing it!

ubergirl
07-13-2010, 10:00 AM
I just wanted to add one thing regarding the heat and exercise....

I did not exercise AT ALL in the beginning. I just focused on getting the food under control. It seemed completely overwhelming for me to exercise and it took all of my powers of concentration just to figure out how to eat....

After a while, I incorporated swimming, and I got seriously into exercise about fifty pounds in...

Don't feel like you have to do everything at the same time. Figuring out a food plan that will work and you can stick to is enough. You can add movement later.

dragonwoman64
07-13-2010, 11:32 AM
yes, the weather sucks(!!) You've had so many replies with great tips, sharing, etc. I just wanted to add my "it's not worth giving up!" That's MUCH, MUCH harder than picking small goals and chipping away at it.

I got up to 330 and had many physical troubles because of it, not to mention all the emotional upheaval of dealing with it. Hang in there! and all my best wishes on your journey.

doingmybest
07-14-2010, 02:54 AM
I recently restarted because I was at "What's the Use" for so long that I weighed in at 284. I know exactly how you feel.

Obesity has been such a serious problem in my family that my brother died from it. He had a "what's the use" attitude, ate everything he could put hands on, weighed well over 300 lbs., developed pancreatisis, and died very suddenly.

If my brother hadn't said "What the Use", he would have seen his children grow up.

I have just joined WW and in 3 weeks have lost 7 lbs. I have been developing a food plan that is not just healthy but also tastes wonderful and I exercise 3-4 times a week. I feel very grateful to have support for weight loss such as Weight Watchers and 3FCs.

ALWAYS REMEMBER: WE CAN DO THIS. :hug:

susiemartin
07-14-2010, 07:02 AM
Truffle :hug:

I think I know how you feel. My highest known weight was 288. I've struggled with my weight my entire life.

The good news:
The weather is not going to stay nasty hot forever and you can lose weight without exercise. You can change and make your life better than you imagine.

The bad news:
Morbid obesity is a living ****. Your obesity will not change unless you do. You could very well keep gaining weight.


One of the things that helped me was a change of thinking. I'm a big believer in "One Day At A Time" and breaking weight loss into 10 lb. increments.

Every day I promise myself I'm only doing what I'm doing "Just For Today" - tomorrow I can give up and go back to the bingeing and ALL the excess food I want.
Inevitably tomorrow comes and I realize I made it through an OP day the day before, and I promise myself "Just For Today" again.

shannonmb
07-14-2010, 11:55 AM
Okay Truffle, I am here to tell you WHAT THE USE IS!!!!! You have gotten some amazing, did I say AMAZING words of wisdom, and though I can't speak from a place of having conquered this weight thing, I CAN speak from experience.

I spent most of my adulthood from about 250 to 280. Like many others, I went from one diet to the next, being motivated for awhile, then slipping up (ALL OR NOTHING :mad::mad::mad:), and gaining any weight I lost back, and then some. Finally, as I got right around exactly where you are, I said, oh, whatever, what's the use. I have struggled all my life and I'm still fat, always will be, I'm used to it, so WHATEVER!

Oh my goodness gracious, that was a BAD MOVE. There is no possible way I can describe to you the difference in how it feels to be 350lbs compared to 290. This is just for me, of course, but it has been ALL the difference in the world. I went from being pretty much fully functional to pretty much NOT fully functional. Like barely able to take care of my hygiene, not able to do ANYTHING besides work, blood pressure rising to a scary place. I'm talking feeling really, really, really bad. Like just basically waiting for my slow and miserable death. Yes, I AM trying to scare you. TRUST ME, you do NOT want to get to where I was and even where I am now (although even with a little weight gone I'm getting better).

THAT is the use. This is not about being too fat to fit on roller coasters or too fat to ride a horse, or too fat to look good in your favorite dress. Once you get to a certain point, this is about needing someone to bring your meals in and having to wash you, and your family having to buy the more expensive double-wide coffin and the undertaker needing to hire an extra team to get you to the funeral home. I'm telling you I got a whiff of that, and it scared the crap out of me, and I FINALLY figured out what the use is!!!!!

I have been counting calories and focusing on whole foods. I am becoming very satisfied with my meals, and I'm spending some of the time I used to spend mindlessly munching on junk to look at light recipes, shop for and cook delicious meals that my whole family enjoys. I have not started incorporating formal exercise yet, but on days off I try to at least get out and about a bit or tackle some neglected cleaning job. I weigh once a month, as I'm focusing on the tasks at hand and not that number on the scale. Next week is my time to weigh, so I know I'm down even from what my ticker says, but even with just the bit I've lost so far I am really feeling pretty decent. I was on the edge of a cliff and I basically had to decide if I was going to go ahead and jump, or if I was willing to do what it took to just make one little step away from the edge. I made the right choice, and I KNOW you can, too! I just know it!!! :hug:

Eliana
07-14-2010, 01:47 PM
My "what's the use number" is quite odd, but I think it represents the general yo-yo dieting **** so many of us end up in. My "what's the use number" was 200, which was a 30 pound LOSS at the time. :dizzy: I told you it's a little odd. Getting down to 200 that time was really, really hard. I reached a point where I felt like I was exercising too hard, eating too little and for what? So I threw in the towel and said exactly the words "What's the use?" From there, I gained 35 pounds. And I was right...it was too hard at the time because I made it that way. The weight was not coming off according to my own little plan. In my head, my plan was to lose 2 pounds per week, every week consistently or I was doing something wrong. So I restricted more calories and did more exercise and I made myself absolutely miserable.

Then I realized...the only things I have control over is what I eat, how much I exercise, and how much time I am willing to give to this project. This is all. The scale is NOT now and never will be within my control. Once I gave into the scale, I found peace. I gave myself a one year commitment to this lifestyle just to see where I'd be in one year's time if I did not give up for once. Could my body lose on its own timeline without any interference from me? The answer is "yes" a thousand times, it can. I don't lose weight fast, according to the scale, but my body shape has changed faster than I ever thought it could. And the true miracle is that you don't have to get anywhere even close to goal to start feeling really good about yourself.

I just wanted to add one thing regarding the heat and exercise....

I did not exercise AT ALL in the beginning. I just focused on getting the food under control. It seemed completely overwhelming for me to exercise and it took all of my powers of concentration just to figure out how to eat....

After a while, I incorporated swimming, and I got seriously into exercise about fifty pounds in...

Don't feel like you have to do everything at the same time. Figuring out a food plan that will work and you can stick to is enough. You can add movement later.

I did exactly as Uber here. This time around I decided not to go all in at first. I did not exercise those first few months and I lost 30 pounds in two months through diet alone. I don't regret adding exercise at all, but exercise does wonky things to the scale for me and I had to be at peace with that first. Diet alone makes the loss pretty steady for me, and exercise throws a wrench in the pace. It took me a long time to understand, really understand, that losing inches is more important than losing a number on the scale.

workingonit
07-14-2010, 05:19 PM
I had a bad backslide and I'm doing a restart. But I did manage to get from 250 to 200 at one point. First, do you have a good rapport with your dr.? I'd start with a check up just to get an all clear for exercise. If your insurance will cover it, a referral to a nutritionist may be helpful. I had a session & I found it helpful.

What helped that time was taking it in little baby steps. First, I started parking farther away from the mass transit I take to work so I'd have to walk more. I stopped going to fast food places and limited take out to once a week. I stopped bringing chips, ice cream, etc. into my home.

I hear you on the heat being an obstacle. Are there any air conditioned rooms in your home? Can you exercise in them? Or how about a power walk in an airconditioned mall? Or some treadmill or bike time at an airconditioned gym? If none of those are possible, can you do a short walk early in the morning or later in the evening when it's cooled off a bit? Make sure to get comfy supportive shoes, water and some good tunes. At first I could only go 10 or 15 minutes worth of cardio before I had to stop.

One good thing about summer is all of the delicious summer fruits & veggies one can get at produce stands. Take advantage of them. Plus some nice raw veggies & fruits beat having to turn the stove/oven on in the heat.

When I hit 250, for me, I didn't even think I could lose weight, I just thought I didn't want to gain more weight.

PS I'm editing this because I just thought of easy on the joints, cool exercise. Do you have access to any pools/oceans?

Truffle
07-17-2010, 11:57 AM
I spent most of my adulthood from about 250 to 280. Like many others, I went from one diet to the next, being motivated for awhile, then slipping up (ALL OR NOTHING :mad::mad::mad:), and gaining any weight I lost back, and then some. Finally, as I got right around exactly where you are, I said, oh, whatever, what's the use. I have struggled all my life and I'm still fat, always will be, I'm used to it, so WHATEVER!

Oh my goodness gracious, that was a BAD MOVE. There is no possible way I can describe to you the difference in how it feels to be 350lbs compared to 290. This is just for me, of course, but it has been ALL the difference in the world. I went from being pretty much fully functional to pretty much NOT fully functional. Like barely able to take care of my hygiene, not able to do ANYTHING besides work, blood pressure rising to a scary place. I'm talking feeling really, really, really bad. Like just basically waiting for my slow and miserable death. Yes, I AM trying to scare you. TRUST ME, you do NOT want to get to where I was and even where I am now (although even with a little weight gone I'm getting better).

THAT is the use. This is not about being too fat to fit on roller coasters or too fat to ride a horse, or too fat to look good in your favorite dress. Once you get to a certain point, this is about needing someone to bring your meals in and having to wash you, and your family having to buy the more expensive double-wide coffin and the undertaker needing to hire an extra team to get you to the funeral home. I'm telling you I got a whiff of that, and it scared the crap out of me, and I FINALLY figured out what the use is!!!!!



Morbid obesity is a living ****. Your obesity will not change unless you do. You could very well keep gaining weight.


I had to come back here and thank you all again for the exceptional encouragement and suggestions on this thread.

The snips above really speak to me today, especially since I got word last night that my father's heart is extremely bad, and his time with us is most likely very limited. He's 80, diabetic, and his body systems are starting to shut down.

Not only is it sad about my father, but it's also a big wake up call for me. I do not want to travel in those footsteps if I can help it, but if things don't change, I'll be on that same road.

I also know that my father worries about me, my weight and my health, and I don't want him to have that as an extra worry on his mind right now. I'd like to be able to be on the path of weight loss and better health while he's still living.

Today I've started fresh, and I'm tossing out all the things that I *wish* would work: intuitive eating, and if not that, low carbing. I've tried those countless times, and have gotten to 290 pounds.

Instead, I'm simply starting out with staying within my calorie range and tracking on Spark People. I'm not going to expect "perfection"--I just have to KEEP GOING.

Also, as many of you have suggested, I'm not going to worry about the exercise component yet. I have my hands full just getting the food side of this working.

Hopefully, by the time fall rolls around, not only will it be cooler, but maybe I'll have lost a few pounds, and will feel more up to exercise. My choice is pedometer walking for now.

It would probably be a good idea to be active on these boards too. Keep myself out of trouble. :D

Eliana
07-17-2010, 12:34 PM
It would probably be a good idea to be active on these boards too. Keep myself out of trouble. :D

Uh...heck yeah!!! Not only can we help you, but you can also help us! :D It's an amazing to place to be. Truly.

Vladadog
07-17-2010, 05:03 PM
Instead, I'm simply starting out with staying within my calorie range and tracking on Spark People. I'm not going to expect "perfection"--I just have to KEEP GOING.

Also, as many of you have suggested, I'm not going to worry about the exercise component yet. I have my hands full just getting the food side of this working.

Hopefully, by the time fall rolls around, not only will it be cooler, but maybe I'll have lost a few pounds, and will feel more up to exercise. My choice is pedometer walking for now.

It would probably be a good idea to be active on these boards too. Keep myself out of trouble. :D

I'm so happy to read this!