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Old 07-12-2010, 08:36 PM   #16  
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Originally Posted by Truffle View Post
Rockin' Robin, I do veer off course all the time, but the reason I lose very slowly is because I'm hypothyroid, and even on medication, I have a hard time losing more than four or five times pounds before my weight starts going back up again. It gets discouraging.
Truffle, I too am hypothyroid. I have been on medication for 12 years. I agree it may be a good idea to have your levels checked with your dr as thyroid levels can fluctuate.

But more importantly, I want you to understand this. I too felt that I would never be able to lose weight because of my thyroid. True, my loss was slower than others. True, I did not lose any weight for 3-4 months at the beginning of my journey. But I did start to lose slowly. I had to believe that if I continued, even at a slow pace to 4-7 lbs a month, that I would reach my weight goal. I refused to let the weight win! I would not give up! I know that you feel like you are trapped--many of us have been there. But like Robin states, eating well and moving is the ticket to freedom. Eating well makes me feel so good, both inside and out. Exercise makes me feel even better! Getting plenty of rest is so restorative. Taking really good care of myself is my gift to myself. I deserve the very best and you do too.
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Old 07-12-2010, 08:49 PM   #17  
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I think I may have had a "what's the use number?". But looking back, sorry, but that is just crazy talk, ya hear?

You have the ability to lose the weight. You ARE capable of it. And no, it's got nothing to do with strength. It's got to do with WILLINGNESS.

Wait a sec - just wrote this on another thread titled "How do I start". Take a look, it may be apropos:

We hear a lot about finding a plan that you CAN stick to. Well, I say combine that with finding/devising a plan that you are WILLING to stick to. To me, the willingness is much more vital.

At some point you have to come to the realization that a change must occur. That you can't go on eating whatever, whenever. So you have to come to terms with that and realize there is some restrictive component to losing weight, getting to a healthy weight and staying there. So you have to want this and you have to be willing to make the changes that are necessary to make it happen.

But the good thing is, I think anyone who's gotten to goal (and those well on their way), that once you get past that initial, temporary discomfort stage or transition period of losing the bad habits and incorporating the new healthy ones that you will realize that it's not so restrictive at all. That it is freeing. That the real restrictiveness, the real deprivation comes from remaining fat. Once you work past the initial tough stage of breaking the bad habits, allowing the good habits to take hold, you will see it's not all that hard. Really.

I would love for you to start by getting excited. Get excited about the changes you are about to implement. Because adhering to a healthy lifestyle is no prison sentence, but a key to freedom that will open up more doors to you than you can possibly imagine, ones you didn't even realize were closed.

I would also start by ridding my home of the junk - you can't eat it if it's not there. It benefits no one. Get rid of the junk it is the only way, but please load it up with tons of lower calorie, healthy DELICIOUS items. Be creative!

I would then make a plan - and stick to that sucker like glue. Plan out each and every meal and snack, leaving nothing to chance. This is too important - you can't wing it. Much easier to stay on plan when you've got one.

Be creative. Make substitutions. Scrounge around the net for healthy recipes and foods.

Also start by knowing that you CAN do this - regardless of your prior history. You 10000% have the ability to lose the weight. We are all capable of it. You don't have to be fat if you don't want to be.

MAke the decision to do this no matter what, once and for all and permanently. But please set yourself up for success. Write down everything you eat - no exceptions and again - get rid of the junk - add in the good stuff and plan your foods ahead of time - taking them with you if need be. Plan, plan and than plan some more


Wrote this on another thread recently, I also think it's fitting:

I think one of the biggest problems is that people (I was surely one of them for decades) think that adhering to a healthy lifestyle - eating well - is some kind of miserable thing. But it's not. It's not!!! You must look for the joy in this - not the dread. You must focus on what you are GAINING - not giving up. Fairly quickly into my journey I fell in love with eating right. It turned out to be a joy, not the burden I always feared.

It's a matter of working past that initial, temporary discomfort stage as your old eating habits die down and you incorporate the new healthy ones. That is the most difficult stage. But you MUST push through it. You must, you must, you must. It is the only way. You've just got to suck it up and do it. You have to hang on till you get to that sweet spot - of the old habits dying down and the new habits taking over. And they do. They do! This new healthy lifestyle eventually becomes automatic, second nature - and yes - enjoyable. But you must allow it to, working past that initial discomfort.


You also mentioned that you lose slow (not that losing at any pace isn't good!) - I must ask you this - is it because you veer off plan, even slightly. Because if you ask me, staying strictly on plan is good for many reasons - it makes this whole process much easier - never mind that you will lose weight faster, but yes that too - because it's quite motivating. But when you veer off, even slightly, it take muccccch longer for the good habits to take hold - and that's what makes the journey harder. The sooner you get the good habits ingrained, the easier it gets. But you've got to push past that discomfort. You've just got to. It's worth it. Get through it any which way that you can. Push. Push. PUSH. FIND OUT WHAT YOU ARE CAPABLE OF!

There IS a point - and a darn good one.
again, true words of wisdom!!! Im taking this all in......
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Old 07-12-2010, 09:37 PM   #18  
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Truffle,
You have gotten some very good advice here. I know that getting started is very very hard but, please believe that it is possible. We have much in common. I was 53 when I started and weighed 291. I am a couple of inches shorter than you. I am also hypothyroid and think that slows down my weight loss. I think that I hit my "what's the use" number at about 250 pounds, so I ate my way up to the 291. Where I was miserable, simply miserable. I decided that I had to lose some weight or just go to bed and not get up. I did not believe that I could possiblly lose a large amount of weight but aimed at losing just a few pounds, or at least to stop the upward movement.

Start easy. I first limited myself to 1800 calories a day which was really a lot of food. Don't worry about exercising in the heat. At this stage, just concentrate on your food. This fall you can start walking when it gets cooler.

YOU CAN DO THIS!
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Old 07-12-2010, 10:03 PM   #19  
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For those of you who may have never read this, it's very powerful, written by member PlatinumGI

Dear Food

I love you so intensely, it hurts me to be away from you. Youíve been with me through all of my good and bad times. Youíre the longest relationship Iíve had. I depend on you to help me up when I fall. Our intimate nights alone when no one else is around are so wonderful. Itís a secret love affair that gives me more satisfaction than I can ever remember. You are without question, my addiction. Even when there are times that I feel frustrated at the things youíve done to me, I always run right back to you. My safety blanket, my rock, my ever loving and understanding companion. You are here for me when everyone else fails to love me in a way I need or want. I couldnít possibly ever live my life without you, a few days without you and I would perish. Even just a day without you I would get lonely & weak. I hate that I feel this way about you. It makes me so angry that I canít just walk away and never turn back. Youíve got me so entangled in this dysfunctional relationship. How could you do this to me ? Youíre supposed to love me and maybe you do, but my love for you is slowly killing me. I canít live without you but I canít live loving you the way I do either. I know youíve supported me, I know youíve always been there when I needed you. I know sometimes you were the only one around. How can I possibly turn my back on you now. Somehow I have to find the strength. I know you want me to explain myself. Itís just so difficult to say these words when I know after they are said I have to walk away. With youíre support youíve also brought me shame. Youíve brought sadness and hurt into my life. Youíve made me feel so down about who I am and what I look like. Itís gotten so bad over the past few years that I canít even look at myself in the mirror without thinking Iím disgusting. I remember I used to look in mirrors passing by, now I keep my head down. If I do happen to catch a glimpse, I run to you for comfort because I hate myself and you do what you do best. Honestly, your best is hurting me and I canít take it anymore. Itís finally at the point that my disgust with myself is way beyond the feeling I get when Iím around you. Weíve been down this road before so many times. You comfort me when I feel down, but then after the comforting is over I feel even worse. How is it that I let myself be satisfied with just a few mins of comfort when I deserve so much more ? I deserve to feel good about myself. I deserve everything Iíve always looked for in you but never found. I deserve the comfort without the guilt. You give me so much guilt. You provide so much negativity in my life that I canít see clearly at times. When I get comfort elsewhere it never feels as good and at the same time never hurts at much. How messed up is that ? I still, no matter how hard I try, canít understand how you make me feel so amazing and then with the blink of an eye you turn on me and make me feel terrible. Iím done, I canít do this tug of war anymore with you. Iím so tired of all the anger & pain. Iím done shedding all these tears over how you make me feel. Iím so confused and how you do the things you do, youíre ruthless. I wish it didnít have to be this way but itís for my own good. All these years I spent looking to you for things you couldnít give me has done awful things to my mental and physical health. I must be strong. I know that no matter how much I beg you, youíll never leave my side. Youíll be everywhere I am and there is not a single thing I can do about that. My only choice is to co-exist and to be civil. Since I know that youíll always be there watching and waiting for me to have a weak moment, Iíll have to be stronger than Iíve been before. Itís ok, you stay there & watch me. Iíll forget you, Iíll forget those times you were there for me, Iíll forget those times you made me laugh, Iíll forget every fake happy memory I had with you. What I wonít forget is how awful you have made me feel every time I thought I could let you in. Now I know, as long as Iím strong, you can be in my life, but not the way you were before. It can never be that way again. You destroy to much of me when I bring you close. I have no choice but to accept youíll always be waiting for me to fall again but no matter how bad I might feel like I want you, Iím done. I will never fall victim to your powerful, deceitful ways again. I love you & I probably always will but itís over.

Written by: Me (Vanessa)
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Old 07-12-2010, 10:07 PM   #20  
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Everyone has given such great advice & if I say anything itll just be repeating what they already said....so Im sending you the best of wishes & a
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Old 07-12-2010, 10:08 PM   #21  
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Where I was miserable, simply miserable. I decided that I had to lose some weight or just go to bed and not get up. I did not believe that I could possiblly lose a large amount of weight but aimed at losing just a few pounds, or at least to stop the upward movement.

Start easy. I first limited myself to 1800 calories a day which was really a lot of food. Don't worry about exercising in the heat. At this stage, just concentrate on your food. This fall you can start walking when it gets cooler.

YOU CAN DO THIS!
Thank you for all the great encouragement on this thread! I'm not sure how anyone can help me, but I appreciate it that you asked. :-)

I guess I'm just discouraged, exhausted, and too hot right now. I know summer heat would be a lot easier to deal with if I wasn't wearing over a hundred pounds extra on my body.

My thyroid levels are fine; I do have them checked regularly.

I'm at the point mentioned above: I either have to lose some of this weight, or just go to bed and not get up. I also know I have to first stop the upward trend again.

Even though I have ZERO, or close to zero, motivation at this moment, I'm going to try again tomorrow. At least that's something.
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Old 07-12-2010, 10:36 PM   #22  
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Wow, the collective wisdom of this group is amazing! I don't think I have much to add, except for this: The "all or nothing" mentality was something I had for quite awhile, and that was an excuse for me. An excuse to throw caution to the wind and just eat myself sick. Because really, it doesn't make sense, does it.....does one little handful of Dorito's REALLY ruin an entire day of good eating? No, it doesn't. But saying, "What the heck" and polishing off the family-sized bag sure will!

I think I was using "perfectionism" or "all or nothing" thinking as a secret excuse for allowing myself to believe I was trying, while also getting to continue eating whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted. I do not know if this is true for everyone, but it's something to consider and examine, and see if it might be true for you.

Please, head over to the goal section. Read the stories of Matt and Robin and LoriBell and countless others. Until I came here to 3FC, I honestly didn't know or believe that people could lose significant amounts of weight and keep it off. Their stories and pictures are nothing short of amazing, but they are no more special than you or I. If they can do it, so can we!
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Old 07-12-2010, 10:50 PM   #23  
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Originally Posted by Truffle View Post

I'm at the point mentioned above: I either have to lose some of this weight, or just go to bed and not get up. I also know I have to first stop the upward trend again.

Even though I have ZERO, or close to zero, motivation at this moment, I'm going to try again tomorrow. At least that's something.
I also agree that exercise should not be your *main* focus right now. It's the food. You've got to get the food in check. You've got to come to that realization that the consequences are just to high. That the pay off for eating all that food is no longer worth it.

When the pain of overeating overtakes the pleasure derived from it - that's a sure sign that one is ready to make the change. I think you're there.

So what have you planned for tomorrow? How is this time going to be different? What sounds most appealing to you? How do you think you can best set yourself up for success? You can answer them here if you like, but it's mostly intended for you to really think about it - and then come up with some answers. Make some rules, set some boundaries and limits. What are you willing to do?

Remember you don't have to give into a craving. It's okay to tell yourself no. In fact, you will find it feels marvelous. Give it time. Don't give in. Ride it out. It gets easier each and every time.

Think of other things to do besides eat. Plan for it right now. Get some strategies in place so when the urge hits you'll have something to turn to. Find some coping skills.

And please, please find some delicious, healthy, lower calorie foods to eat. They're out there. If the on plan food that you're eating is so good, there's no reason to go off plan.

Remember, you have the ability to do this. Don't ever forget it. Dig. Down. Deep. It's there. You have the power to do this.

We are all pulling for you.
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Old 07-13-2010, 12:26 AM   #24  
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So many good replies, all I have to add is what i've done to keep myself from being overwhelmed. I literally take it 1 pound at a time. I haven't picked a goal weight because at this point it would feel overwhelming or feel like it will take forever to get there. I will continue to lose 1 pound at a time until I get to a point where I feel comfortable picking a goal weight. As long as I keep going down that's all that matters because I am getting healthier.
You can do this!
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Old 07-13-2010, 01:16 AM   #25  
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Truffles, I'm right here with ya girl.

You hit the nail so perfectly on the head about what I've been feeling.

There's been great advice so I'm just here to offer a
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Old 07-13-2010, 01:16 AM   #26  
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So many good replies, all I have to add is what i've done to keep myself from being overwhelmed. I literally take it 1 pound at a time.
This is actually really good advice. Sometimes we think that a pound isn't a lot, and by itself, maybe it isn't. But they do add up. Even if you just lost a pound a week and nothing more, in a year you'd be 50 pounds down. 52, actually. And 50 IS a lot. Actually, 10 is a lot. Go carry a ten-pound bag of potatoes around the grocery store for awhile if you don't believe me!

It all adds up. Every little bit adds up. So a pound at a time is a great way to look at it.
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Old 07-13-2010, 06:09 AM   #27  
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Yes, by all means take it a pound at a time. You chip away and chip away at the *big* number one pound at a time.

But I say, don't even think about and focus on the scale - focus on the behaviors. Get those good healthy eating behaviors down pat. Focus intently on finding foods that you love, focus on telling yourself no, focus on finding strategies and coping techniques to get you through each and every situation - boredom, loneliness, happiness, stress, anger, celebrations, whatever. Focus on meal planning and healthy menus, focus on customizing your plan and making it your own. Focus on the behaviors and that scale WILL go down.
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Old 07-13-2010, 07:20 AM   #28  
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Please excuse me if this is full of typos but I'm late to work and wanted to share.

Soda was my waterloo. There was a time in my life (like eight days ago) where an ice cold can of coke was always JUST the thing i needed/ I used to drink tons of it.(The real kind- I think diet is gross-even though the real kind is gross too) Cans and Cans and Cans and day. There have been times before now where I have stopped having soda. Several days even but I was always stressed out about not having it-it was a constant conversation, of "no, you can't have that -don't do it, don't do it" like training a really young puppy with a crappy learning curve and all of that was REALLY stressful. Having soda was stressfull emotionally and physically and not having it was extra stressfull emotionally.Recently the last few times I would give it up I would literally only last hours though.

Here's the thing- I have an inflammatory condition that's made worse by stress and the condition itself is horrible (people who have the more advanced forms of it take vicodin for the pain and turn anemic in spite of perfectly fine diets because of the stress the disease is to their system). I'm not there yet-thank God-but there is no doubt in my mind that unless I make a big lifestyle change my chance of getting there goes way up and it's bad enough as it is now.

But on July 7- less than a week ago. I decided that I was ready to start taking really good care of myself -which means no more junk, which means no more coke. And I haven't wanted it. I don't feel like I am depriving myself of it.It seems like a really ridiculous thing to want now. Why on earth was I craving what is essentially poison to my body? So for the first time in my life Soda isn't stressing me out and it AMAZING how different I feel physically after less than a week from not having that pressure on my system.

And ALL it was- was a THOUGHT. I changed how I THOUGHT about something. It didn't involve any other active effort.

So if ALL I got out of deciding to change my life with respect to my weight was this relief it would have been well worth it. Even if I never lost a pound (though I intend to lose lots of them). I say all of that- to say this- There's always a reason to try. You just have to think about things differently.

Good Luck
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Old 07-13-2010, 09:02 AM   #29  
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Quote:
Robin originally posted Yes, by all means take it a pound at a time. You chip away and chip away at the *big* number one pound at a time.

But I say, don't even think about and focus on the scale - focus on the behaviors. Get those good healthy eating behaviors down pat. Focus intently on finding foods that you love, focus on telling yourself no, focus on finding strategies and coping techniques to get you through each and every situation - boredom, loneliness, happiness, stress, anger, celebrations, whatever. Focus on meal planning and healthy menus, focus on customizing your plan and making it your own. Focus on the behaviors and that scale WILL go down.
Robin is right on the money. Take it one day at a time, focus on the behaviors you need TODAY. It can be time consuming at first, but so worth the time. In a few days, you will have everything in order and it won't take much time. Actually, I think my first week was easier because I spent all my free time planning. It kept me busy.

Stop and think. What do you need to do today to make this journey easier? What plans do you need to get in place? Make food lists and then grocery lists. Surf the Internet to find healthy foods and recipes that sound good or interesting to you. Think about your problem times and what strategies might work for you. Make lists of what you are looking forward to doing. Set some mini-goals. One of my mini-goals was to be able to walk from the parking garage at work to my office without having to stop to rest. Give yourself something to look forward to. As Robin often says, get excited. This is going to be wonderful! You have so many wonderful things ahead of you.

Of course, eat healthy today. Set yourself a limit of some sort and stick with it. I recommend a calorie limit but that is because it worked well for me. Something else might fit your personality but decide what you want to try and start. You sound so much like me that I wonder if the strategies I used will work for you. I started 1200 calorie diets many times and gave up on them quickly. So I decided to start at 1800 calories. That was much easier.

I like to read, so I read and read. If you are a reader, here are a few sites that really helped me. I didn't find 3FC until a few months into my journey but this entire forum helped me. Be sure to read the goal and mini-goal posts and view the pictures.

* The Hacker's Diet - http://www.fourmilab.ch/hackdiet/
* http://www.cdc.gov/obesity/resources.html
* http://www.webmd.com/diet/default.htm
* http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/weight-loss/MY00432
* The National Weight Control Registry - I am looking forward to joining that study.
* Today Show's Joy Fit Club

You don't have to be Superwoman. You just have to deal with today. You can do this!
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Old 07-13-2010, 09:04 AM   #30  
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Truffle, there is tons of wisdom and experience here for you to gleam from. You said you didn't know what plan to do and that you couldn't stick to low carbs. I just want to say that I have a carb addiction too....so I just count calories and on my quest to eat within my calorie range there are many days where I naturally ate less carbs. I just don't focus on that right now because I just needed to get started. Now that I have lost 26 pounds the road feels easier. I still have a long way to go, but in my experience getting started was the hardest part. Don't worry about exercise right now either. Just focus on getting the food in check.

My mother is 59 and two weeks ago she decided to change. She was inspired and encouraged by me and also her doctor ticked her off by telling her losing weight would be too hard at her age. Anyway, she was 272 and is 5'6". She started calorie counting and logs everything on Fitday. She started walking too, but the first day she just went down her driveway and two houses down. Two weeks later she can walk for 20 minutes before needing to stop. She lost 9 pounds the first week and 3 the second week. She drinks lots of water and is eating on average 1600 calories a day. Having those first victories has her even more inspired. Just start and stay true and you WILL feel better. You can do it!!!
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