I originally set my goal at 155, but moved it down to 145 (highest weight for healthy BMI) once I hit the mid 160s. However, I've been maintaining 152-153 for about a month now (vacation and then stress at work, so I moved up to maintenance calories for that time period). I'm a solid size 8, with a few 6s thrown in, and my measurements are 38-28-38 (started 41-35-43). I wear bikinis, I'm getting my belly button pierced Friday, and my boyfriend can't get enough of me. I literally get compliments daily at work on my loss. I'm in GREAT shape--I can (and do) go out and run three miles, finish a 50 minute spin class, or a 60 minute yoga/pilates class.
Lately I've been struggling with why I really want to lose six more pounds, and all I have is that I'm not 100% happy with my stomach, and that I'll feel like a failure if I quit before reaching my arbitrary goal. At the same time, I'm scared to lose more because I love my breasts and hips and legs and butt just the way they are now! The only places I'd be okay losing weight are my arms and stomach, and we all know you can't pick where the fat comes from. I've been toying with the idea of getting lipodissolve for my stomach, and I do intend to continue my exercise routine so I know I will tone up some more. I guess I would just really appreciate someone telling me that it's OKAY to be done with loss before I hit that magical number that I found on some chart, and that I'm not competing with other people on TFC for loss, that my ideal may not be their ideals.
Here's my thoughts. Keep in mind that I am not to goal yet. How you feel about yourself is a good indicator in my opinion. BUT, I know for myself that the main reason I started this journey was for health reasons. I feel awesome at my current weight, but I know I really need to be in the range of "healthy" for my age/height. I want to take as much of the load off of my knees and back (arthritis) and my heart (high blood pressure).
I would suggest talking to your doctor about what a healthy weight for you should be. I'd stick with what he/she has to say.
It's definately OK to be done, if you are happy with where you are.
Six more lbs lost won't help the belly, you need ab crunches or something to tighten the tummy muscles.
Someone else can tell you more about that than I can, I'm still working on fat loss.
It is absolutely okay to be done losing if you are happy with your body! Just remember that you will never be "done" with eating healthy and exercising though.
I guess I would just really appreciate someone telling me that it's OKAY to be done with loss before I hit that magical number that I found on some chart, and that I'm not competing with other people on TFC for loss, that my ideal may not be their ideals.
(And I really mean it when I say I am interested in this part of your post. That's not girlspeak code for "offended" or "about to lecture you about it.")
Okay, just pretend for a moment ... it's the olden days, like 20 years ago (not in your own years, in the general scheme of time), you've lost the same amount of weight, you're in the same body you are now, with the same feelings about it .... but ...
There's no Internet. No 3FC. So you can't easily find out about people your own height & what weights they've reached or chosen to maintain at.
You have not been exposed to any of their chatter or angst. All the talk of weight you've ever heard is from your own friends, in person.
All you've maybe seen on "healthy weight" is some height-weight chart in a magazine article about weight loss or pinned up on the wall in your doctor's examining room.
How would you feel then about where you are now?
Filter out all that other hype & chatter & outside stuff, all the externals, which have to do with others' ideals & needs, & focus inward, on your true motivation & your true needs. You are the one you must answer to.
If, after reflection, you think you're done, then you're done.
If not, and you want to work on this thing a little longer, and that belly is on your mind a lot more than it ought to be, keep going. See what you can do.
Forums are invaluable, and I don't know where I'd be without the voices & personalities & experience collected here -- but in this instance, when you are facing this kind of decision, maybe they need to carry a little less weight in the decision-making.
Which you already know, I believe, cause that is where your post seemed to be leading.
Saef...thats wonderful advice. I agree that once you get there you will know. If you are happy with your body, then just maintain. I really dont care what a BMI chart spits out or a trainer tells me my goal weight should be. I currently have 164 as my goal weight and my trainer tells me that I should go for 150 (at 5'8", i think 150 is too slim) but deep down I know that if I get to 170 and love how my body looks, 170 is where I will remain.
I know a lot of persons on TFC might not agree, but thats how I feel. I carry my weight well and I look like I weigh far less than I actually do. As such I am not going to let some number determine my mood and how I feel about what I have achieved.
Definitely okay!! You can change the appearance of your body with weight lifting. A good all-around program (not just ab work) will help you firm up and look leaner. And your weight is not tattooed on your forehead - you look good to yourself and your friends, your clothes fit nicely. What difference will 6 lbs make? If you're happy - you're okay where you are!
Are we weight loss twins???? I've been thinking the exact same thing and am in amost your exact shoes. I'm really starting to feel like these last lbs are in vein. I'm at almost maintenance cals, just under enough to still be losing though and pretty comfortable w/ life, my routine, my hunger level, my fitness, etc. So I'm just going to stick it out here till I get into my "maitenance range" because you just never know what those last few lbs can bring, it's different for everyone. I'm obviously hoping to see improvement in my belly and upper thighs because that's really the only place left for fat to come from on me and if I start losing any more anyplace else I'll have to stop because I'll start to looking sickly Personally, I just really want to be in the 140s, as ridiculous as it might sound, I just won't feel like I completed my journey until I get there. I'm also still too far into a size 10 and I'd rather be a solid 8, and like I mentioned my belly is not where I want it to be yet. But no matter what, I'm stopping at 140-145 and giving myself time to adjust and strength train some more and see how my body adapts. If 6 months from then or a year from then I decide it wasn't enough I know what to do. So my advice to you is, if you feel done and you're happy, then it is ABSOLUTLY ok to be done, later if you change your mind well then that's ok too. Good luck to you and I'm glad to hear I'm not the only one struggling with stuff like this.
Thank you all so much! I really think seeing other people's goals and progress has affected me more than it should have. My original, pre-TFC goal was 155 and a size 10. I didn't have any specific fitness goals--I never dreamed I'd be able to run a 5K! So in some ways, the extra push has been good. But I think it's time to concentrate on maintenance, and maybe those few extra calories will help me push myself harder in my workouts so I can keep my current weight, but lose some fat and gain some muscle. I'm SO excited about starting on this new journey!
Last edited by stella1609; 07-07-2010 at 04:40 PM.
Ncuneo, I think we are twins--we even posted at the same time, LOL! I know you've had some extra challenges to face that I haven't had, but it's been nice having someone else go through this last bit with me. I had/have that same feeling of just desperately wanting to see 149, but I don't know that it's what's best for me. I'm going to try eating more intuitively for a while (still keeping a mental tally of my calories), and if I start to gain, I'll go back to actually tracking. If I lose a bit more in the process of settling in, that's okay too. I'm feeling so good about this! It helps that I dressed up to go out to lunch with a friend and actually had a guy leaning out of a truck hollering at me in a GOOD way
Last edited by stella1609; 07-07-2010 at 04:39 PM.
This is sort of where I am right now. I dithered and fretted about it, the closer I came to goal, because I'd already adjusted my goal downward by 20 lbs after hitting the first one. And now, here I am, at the second goal and part of me really wants to keep going, and the other part of me is looking at all the bony bits sticking out -- seriously, you can see my ribs and breastbone; I was trying on new bras the other day and totally freaked myself out with the ribs and breastbone, and I'm not even getting into how bony my shoulders and clavicle are -- and yet, a couple of stubborn pockets of fat on my torso and belly remain and I want them gone.
And then I think, sheesh, I'm only about ten pounds from being overweight, faulty though BMI may be as a measuring stick. I weigh 175 freaking pounds! OK, I'm tall, but...blah, blah, blah. I'm done. I'm calling it. I'm going to very slowly and gradually raise my calorie level, and see what happens. If another five or ten pounds go away, fantastic. If I remain here, well, other than being occasionally freaked out, while I get used to the fact that being somewhat more intimately aware of my own bone structure is actually a good thing, that's great, too. And I can always settle and decide to go for more weight loss down the road. I really do need to get used to this new body, because the last fifteen pounds or so have made such a huge difference so quickly that I honestly don't trust my own self-perception of what's 'enough' right now.
Congratulations on your decision! I will tell you that for me focusing less on the scale has really been quite a stess relief. I still get caught up in it from time to time, but in general it's really great. I'm not quite ready to eat intuitively yet, don't trust myself enough, but I plan to start practicing it on the weekends pretty soon. Let me know how it goes
Here's a thought. Why don't you try on maintance for awhile, and see how you feel at your weight? If in a few months, you want to lose more, go ahead and do so.
Soooo, this is slightly off-topic, but I got my belly button pierced last night!!! It was such a big deal for me--I always thought belly button piercings were cute and sexy but I was too fat for it. Last night I sucked it up and did it and it looks great I am feeling sooooo much better about my body! Thank you all again for your input!
Someone please tell me it's okay to be done!
