"PROUD TO BE FAT" Movement - 3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community

Butterfly55 · 07-04-2006, 04:11 PM

What's your opinion? I'm sure a lot of you have heard of Mo'nique's "FAT CHANCE" show and many other overweight women saying that their fat and happy. I think that teaching young women to be proud of who they are and not to let weight hold them back from their goals is a beautiful thing. Then again is it healthy to tell women that not caring about their weight okay? Is the "Proud to be Big" movement promoting unhealthy life styles?

Losingitin06 · 07-04-2006, 07:33 PM

I think it's a touchy topic.

On one hand it's great to feel good about yourself and be comfortable in your own skin... but at the same time, if your weight is affecting your health.. it needs to be addressed.

Misti in Seattle · 07-04-2006, 07:54 PM

I completely disagree with the "proud to be fat" stuff and I am not really convinced anyone honestly is proud of being fat. Why should we be "proud" of something in our lives which is unhealthful and a poor lifestyle. Personally I think the current thinking of being proud of ourselves regardless of what we are doing is just encouraging irresponsibility. We should NOT be encouraging people not to care about their weight.

madscientist · 07-04-2006, 08:44 PM

It should be up to the individual. It is their lifestyle choice and I'm sure they have all heard everything there is to hear about the health problems. It IS possible to be fat and happy. It's not about being proud to be fat, it's about proud to be who you are... even if that is 350 pounds. To some (or many) people, it's a big middle finger to this society's beauty standards to not buy into the obsession with thinness and who refuse to apologize for the fact that they are big people.

I say good for them. They're grown, they've been told the health risks probably for the entire time they've been fat, it's not up to anyone of us to judge them or try and make their decisions for them, tell them how to think or otherwise police them. If they're happy, let them be. Even if you don't think they're really happy, it's still none of your business. Everyone hates being criticized for our life choices because its OUR choice to make, not the other persons.

And dare I say, alot of us here too have made the choice to be fat by choosing the same unhealthy lifestyle. Maybe not consciously, but with our repetetive bad choices. Choices that we all struggle with not making in order to lose weight. No one ordered us with a gun to our heads into the lifestyles we were in to have gotten fat. The only difference between us and them is that they are happy where they are.

I personally am not happy being 300lbs and never will be. But I also don't plan on being thin, and instead want a very althletic body. That's not really sexy by American standards either but I certainly don't care. I want the body *I* want and like, to **** with anyone elses opinion... and I think they want the same freedom without being chided or singled out or called names or discrimanted against or worse, people projecting their standards onto them and telling them they can't possibly be happy AND fat because being fat is just so bad. That's like them telling us we can't possibly be thin AND happy because who can be happy living on a diet the rest of our lives? Pretty absurd logic when you turn the tables, isn't it? Everyone's standards for being happy is different.

A book out that is popular by the people of the movement is called "Fat!So?" by Marilyn Wann. Read it if you're interested in understanding the movement.

Misti in Seattle · 07-04-2006, 08:51 PM

Ahhh but our obesity doesn't only affect US... but everyone else in increased payouts for medical insurance and all the other related health problems and the price ALL of society pays for our obesity epidemic. Sure they can choose that lifestyle if they want... and believe me, my fingers are point straight at MYSELF... but that doesn't make it right to destroy our health and be "proud" of it.

And I think we ARE supposed to use judgement as to what is right and wrong. That is NOT to say we should "condemn" or look down on people who are fat or whatever and not accept them.... but good discernment and judgement is a positive thing regardless of what portion of our society tells us otherwise.

Obesity and poor health is a choice yes and people have every right to make it; that does not mean the rest of us have to say it is okay. Again speaking straight to SELF.... but it is NOT okay; it is wrong. We are taught that to take a moral stand any more in America is somehow "bad" -- I don't buy it.

And it IS my business... it is everybody's business... when more and more accidents, hospital charges, etc. -- are going up and up and up -- because of it. They may have the "right" to do it but I also have the right to speak up, regardless of whether my opinion is politically correct.

Please don't misunderstand... I have a lot of friends who are fat and it does not in any way affect my love for them and my friendship. They accept my faults and I accept theirs. That doesn't mean we have to pretend obesity or other unhealthful things we are doing are "okay." I am blessed to have so many friends who are cheering me on in my weight loss!!

===dodging the tomatoes=== LOL

madscientist · 07-04-2006, 09:18 PM

If these illness don't only affect us, then what would you suggest for the millions of people suffering from the different forms of cancer that cause high health care costs? The poor families who cannot afford to pay for even a check up or get their child basic medicine when they're sick and so they have no other option for survival except bail on the bill or trade rent for medical expenses and live on the street? What should we tell them, that their choices have screwed the rest of us over and they should have done everything to prevent cancer and being poor because we don't like how that affects us?

If you really want to go that far, how about all these people having so many kids and the current population boom in America? That will certainly affect us all and not in good ways considering our resources for basically everything are being dried up and getting very expensive. But apparently that lifetyle choice is ok... but less than 1% of the population CHOOSING to be fat isn't? How do you calculate the latter to be worse? Gimme some numbers here, because the math doesn't add up. A population excess and kids people can't take care of has a far greater impact in our society than a few people who're fat and plan to keep it that way.

I also don't know of many people who have chosen consciously to be fat and those who are fat and happy didn't wake up one day going, "Hey, you know. Being fat would be really cool. Where's the closest McD's?" No, they just simply don't have a desire to be thin or their body won't, for some reason or another (generally medical), be thin.

You can judge what is right and wrong all you want to. But you can't judge another person by your standards and expect it to all come out ok.... why is your standard better than theirs? Because it's yours and fits your life? That's hardly a reason for anyone to change their mind and only further proves my point that you shouldn't tell other people how to live because your standards obviously only work for you. You are who you are, and they are who they are. Think what you want about them, but deciding anything for another adult is no one elses place. It has nothing to do with being politically correct or taking moral stands. This is not a political or moral issue, it's a personal one. We all make personal choices everyday. Would you like someone sticking their nose in yours because they think what you're doing is wrong or affecting them too much? I imagine not.

It's a slippery slope when you start telling people that you don't like what they do because it somehow affects your life. Everything we do affects another human life, but to what degree it affects another person is the important thing. Healthcare costs are rising for MANY reasons, most not even related to health epidemics. You cannot isolate fat people as being the cause of your increased rates. Especially the few who choose fat as a lifestyle. I am 300lbs but guess what? All my stats except triglycerides are PERFECT. I am not unhealthy. And I doubt I'm a white buffalo of the obese population.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Misti in Seattle

Ahhh but our obesity doesn't only affect US... but everyone else in increased payouts for medical insurance and all the other related health problems and the price ALL of society pays for our obesity epidemic. Sure they can choose that lifestyle if they want... and believe me, my fingers are point straight at MYSELF... but that doesn't make it right to destroy our health and be "proud" of it.

And I think we ARE supposed to use judgement as to what is right and wrong. That is NOT to say we should "condemn" or look down on people who are fat or whatever and not accept them.... but good discernment and judgement is a positive thing regardless of what portion of our society tells us otherwise.

Obesity and poor health is a choice yes and people have every right to make it; that does not mean the rest of us have to say it is okay. Again speaking straight to SELF.... but it is NOT okay; it is wrong. We are taught that to take a moral stand any more in America is somehow "bad" -- I don't buy it.

And it IS my business... it is everybody's business... when more and more accidents, hospital charges, etc. -- are going up and up and up -- because of it. They may have the "right" to do it but I also have the right to speak up, regardless of whether my opinion is politically correct.

Please don't misunderstand... I have a lot of friends who are fat and it does not in any way affect my love for them and my friendship. They accept my faults and I accept theirs. That doesn't mean we deny they exist.

===dodging the tomatoes=== LOL

kaplods · 07-04-2006, 09:27 PM

You're right Misti, most of us who identify even in part with the fat acceptance movement aren't truly "proud to be fat," We're just tired of being treated as though we're stupid, immoral, pathetic, and subhuman.
Repeated studies show that a large number of college women say they would abort a child destined to be fat. In some studies the number exceeded those who would abort a physically or mentally handicapped child. I've been obese nearly all of my life, but am I really better off dead? I don't think so!

kaplods · 07-04-2006, 10:09 PM

I posted a quick reply, and decided I needed to take a breath, and really contribute to this discussion rather than just react. The "fat acceptance" movement (like various "civil rights" movements for women, the deaf, physically handicapped, and racial minorities, and homosexuals) encompasses many perspectives, from themild to the extreme, from the "just don't actively hurt or discriminate against us," to the "we rock and the rest of you are jerks, and don't know what you're missing."

The extremists (I believe) are almost always off target, but it is an understandable reaction to being kicked in the teeth all of your life. Some of us are genetically predisposed towards obesity. That isn't to say we aren't contributing to the "problem," with our choices, but until you've truly walked in another person's shoes, you cannot truly understand what this really means. It is a very slippery slope to lay blame, especially since it can be broadened to include almost everyone. Do we stop insuring people who have made choices that contributed to their health problems? Uh, oh. Where does it stop? If you've ever smoked a cigarette, crossed the street without looking both ways, aren't drinking enough water, eating too much protein, not eating enough protein, exercising too little, exercising too much (risking injury), engaging in risky sports, have ever had sex, have ever used birth control.....

I've struggled with my weight nearly all of my life. Since the age of 5 or 6, I have spent only two years of my life outside of the category of "morbid obesity."
I was also an extremely gifted child, creative, outgoing, and intelligent (I have a mensa level IQ). I've spent my entire life being told that I was bad, and stupid, and worthless, and that I should never forget that I am not as good as anyone else. Did my parents tell me this? Not directly, but I saw it in the pity and disappointment in their eyes when I snuck food because I felt like I was STARVING. I saw it im my mother and grandmother's self-hatred of thier own weight issues. I saw it in the contempt in the eyes of other kids, their parents, and my TEACHERS. Not only did I have to work ten times as hard to be considered half as good, I had to put up with all sorts of abuse that the adults tolerated because maybe "it would humiliate me into doing something about my weight."

Yeah, humiliation is effective. Tell someone to hate themselves, and then expect them to accomplish great things! And when they do anyway, tell them it doesn't really matter because it wasn't enough.

Hunger and fear have ruled my life. Small things that even mildly overweight people take for granted. Will the restaurant have only booths, or chairs I can't fit into? If I exercise in public will people laugh or be hostile? Can I eat an ice cream cone in public without being made to feel like a criminal? Can I flirt with someone without being rejected, or worse laughed at and considered pitiful?

In my mid twenties, I found the "fat acceptance" movement, and it changed my life. I wasn't instantly "proud to be fat," I just learned that I deserved and could have a real life, immediately. Not just "someday when I lose all of the weight." I learned that there are men who could be attracted to me (some for selfish, even insane reasons - not unlike some men's reasons for liking types of "normal" women).

Some women get giddy with the attention, and do decide "fat is fabulous." Who can blame them for getting high on the very basics of life, that thin women take for granted. And if, like me, they've spent decades of their lives trying to attain the (seemingly) impossible, who can blame them for throwing in the towel and deciding to enjoy whatever they can squeeze from life.

I'm still in there fighting, but sometimes I wonder to what end. I was put on my first diet in kindergarten, and it is my belief, that I dieted my way to obesity, as I have always only gained weight immediately after going "off" a diet. I have spent many years holding steady at high weights, during those times when I refused to diet. It's very possible that if I had never been put on that diet, I might not have become a fat adult, or at least only mildly so. By the time I learned the relationship between dieting and obesity, it was too late. I'm at a weight now where I might be damned if I do, and damned if I don't. I have to lose this weight, but if I give up again, even briefly, I'm doomed.

choices · 07-04-2006, 10:19 PM

My view, is COME-ON...proud?..I definitely think it's healthy,to feel good about yourself, overweight or not..but specifically proud?..this is a backlash/reaction because of the way overweight people are treated in this world,specific to this country especially,and I understand that,& I agree it should change..However it probably will not change in this lifetime. I think HEALTHY, is something to be proud of..not skinny,not fat,not overweight certainly..but HEALTHY in your skin no matter what that number is. That is something to be proud of. FOCUS~

Misti in Seattle · 07-05-2006, 01:50 AM

LOL mad put a few words in my mouth I didn't say, didn't you? Since I never try to defend something I never said in the first place I won't bother with any more of a response to you.

Misti in Seattle · 07-05-2006, 01:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kaplods

We're just tired of being treated as though we're stupid, immoral, pathetic, and subhuman.

Yes and I think I made it clear I was not advocating that... sheesh I am fat too, remember! I get the same treatment. I am still not "proud" of it though by any stretch. There is a HUGE difference between accepting people as they are... and being "proud" of our own weaknesses.

madscientist · 07-05-2006, 02:06 AM

If you say so.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Misti in Seattle

LOL mad put a few words in my mouth I didn't say, didn't you? Since I never try to defend something I never said in the first place I won't bother with any more of a response to you.

lilybelle · 07-05-2006, 02:11 AM

I'll keep my mouth shut and not really respond much to this issue. I once thought I was fat and proud. I agree with Misti. Enough said.

lilybelle · 07-05-2006, 02:13 AM

Can't do it, gotta add this. I have never in my life heard anyone say, Oh god, I wish I wasn't at such a healthy weight, I so want to be fat and proud.

celery · 07-05-2006, 03:28 AM

I think we should be respectful of eveyone, no matter their size.

However, I have never known a person who was size 8 decide that they needed to gain fifty pounds so they could feel proud of it. I think the Proud to Be Fat folks are deciding to do the best they can with what they've got.