South Beach Diet - In a really bad slump
03-09-2010, 02:26 PM
Don't know whats wrong with my today... or lately even. The weather is beautiful I just feel all out of sorts. I'm wondering if its stress or something more.
I was doing so well on SB for a few weeks and then the weekend hits and everything is kind of blown and after my last attempt I'm just feeling so discouraged that I don't know what to do. Its seems that I make it most of the way through Phase I but then something happens and all that progress is lost.
I'm having a hard time believing that I could ever meet my goal. I can't visualize it because it feels so impossible, like it wasn't meant to be or something. That I am pre-destined to be a fat girl forever. I know this seems very melodramatic (I'm definitely a drama queen) but this is word for word what is going on in my head and I'm unsure how to break this mindset.
I'm going home next week and I'm think that being home for a week of Phase I might help-- since mom's on weight watchers at home and there is less temptation.
Does anyone have any advice or similar experience?
03-09-2010, 03:07 PM
I'm in Western MA too :D. Are you at Smith?
We have had some great weather around here. Maybe try setting some little goals and don't base them just on weight. So, that you will eat OP for the day or get in a walk or something. It can be so overwhelming and I definitely have periods where I feel exactly the same.
It sounds like being home for a week might be a great time to reset things. I'm not sure you should keep restarting Phase 1 honestly. if you are really struggling with it and can't get through the 2 weeks, why keep doing something that makes you feel like a failure? I understand why most people advocate for a clean Phase 1 for the full two weeks but in my mind it is more important to start living a healthier lifestyle you can stick with.
Good luck and I hope things get better for you!
03-09-2010, 04:36 PM
Kate, when I was having a really hard time staying focused, I started a little contest with myself. (I'm a sucker for rewards.) This is how it went:
I made a ticker from 0-100 points.
I got one point for:
*every meal on plan
*every meal with veggies
*getting 64 oz. of water a day
*having a totally on plan day
Then I set a reward for when I got to 100 points. I did it twice. My first reward was buying a pair of new shoes and the second reward was a date night with my husband.
It worked REALLY well for me because I had been focusing on staying on plan for like the rest of forever, and every time I hit a little snag I got totally discouraged and threw the rest of the day/week out the window. This reward system helped me to focus on making choices meal-by-meal. I got into better habits and then eventually dropped the ticker because I was just naturally making good choices again.
Post often. We've all been there and we can at least offer cyber-hugs!
03-09-2010, 04:54 PM
Sweetie, u don't have that much to lose! U don't want to end up having to lose 150+ pounds like yours truly! U can do it!
03-09-2010, 05:48 PM
Kate - Hang in there! I think your idea about PH1 while home is great. Maybe your mom can help you brainstorm a weekend plan for yourself to follow. How about setting mini goals... 5 pounds at a time. And then a reward when you reach it. And get on here when you are tempted to go off plan. Post and read and feel the love and motivation:hug: If dieting was easy there would be a lot more skinny people out there!
03-09-2010, 06:03 PM
Tallgirl - Yes I am. I love it here. I think little goals will help a lot, I really like Kara's idea a lot of a point system. I think a lot of my issues stem from not having enough of a routine and maybe having a point system will give me some structure, if that makes sense.
Kara - Your idea has inspired me! I think also that takes the focus off of having a weight a goal so you're still benefiting from earning points but aren't obsessed with the weight loss.
FoodObsessed - It's just hard for me to visual certain things that aren't concrete. Like over the summer I went to England but I couldn't visualize actually being there because I couldn't believe it was going to happen until it did. Thanks for your support! <3
Karen - You are right, if it was easy I wouldn't be having this problem in the first place. I also need to get on here more. I kinda miss Weight Watchers at home because of the community-- but the points made me obsessive compulsive!
Thank you all so much for responding... It really means a lot.
03-09-2010, 07:10 PM
Are you exercising? Sometimes when we are feeling down and icky, it helps so much. I know when I feel bad, I really don't WANT to exercise, but afterwards when the endorphins kick in, it brightens up your day. That's why I go BEFORE work everyday (or else I might be a horrid witch to my students!)
03-09-2010, 07:29 PM
When I am self-sabotaging, nothing really helps because I recognize I am not mentally there. I want to lose the weight but I want it to magically come off. I don't want to have to put the work into it. Why can't it be fun like eating was to put it all on?
Before I started on the Beach again at the end of December, I needed help and visiting here helped despite it all feeling soooo daunting. And frankly, I felt embarrassed. But posting here really helps hold me accountable!
I like the idea of a reward (not with food though!) for small victories. Movies on the DVR and a OP treat or walking in a park or to do shopping to a new store...
Plus, re-reading Cyndi's swift kick in the arse (http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/south-beach-diet/194586-cupcakes-other-mistakes.html) helps me too.
Now, not knowing why you are sabotaging makes it easy for me to pinpoint but maybe there are other underlying issues? We all "slip-up" but for you to almost every weekend makes me think that there is something else wrong.
SBD is a real commitment - and it's frikkin' hard. Don't get me wrong. It's hard to adjust and modify behaviors. Would just eating on Ph2 and not doing Ph1 help? Maybe you need to re-evaluate why you are doing this. Maybe SBD isn't right for you?
Lots of if-ands-buts in the equation but know we're around for whatever you decide!
03-09-2010, 08:29 PM
All I can say, is keep making your weight loss a priority. When I look back to my college days, I had already developed the food habits that would eventually take me to nearly 300 pounds. Since college I went up to 190, lost down to 158 (which was comfortable for me), maintained for 18 months then went on up to 275. Nowhere on that path did I have the information that simply eating healthy foods in moderation and exercising regularly would be my ticket to good health and normal weight.
You already have that information; it's just figuring out how to apply it in your life. College is stressful; but so is job hunting, and marriage and kids and divorces and deaths in the family and....on and on....the point being, that there is always something in our lives which makes for a daily challenge to eat healthy food in moderation and to exercise regularly.
I wish more than anything that I had figured all of this out years ago. I sat out many things that I would have liked to have done; hiking the Grand Canyon, kayaking in Alaska, climbing and rappelling. I have travelled to alot of places that were so awesome but I refused to have my picture taken because I was embarassed about how I looked.
I was always alone in my attempts at WL, and I feel a big part of my success is being able to come somewhere like this every day and having support of others who have similar goals.
I'm so glad you posted and put your frustrations out on the table. So many come and go, and I always wonder what happened. You will find the way to make this work...and you have lots of people who care about you here!
03-09-2010, 08:48 PM
Kate, I think everything I could say has already been said.
I'm posting anyway though, to encourage you to keep on going and to remind you that you've got a big cheering section behind you. :hug:
03-09-2010, 09:12 PM
Cheers here too, Kate! Life is stressful and I cannot control everything, but I can control what I put in my mouth. Staying on plan keeps me sane, and coming here frequently has helped keep me on plan. Have to agree on the exercise. That and plenty of sleep make everything look better. Good luck!
03-09-2010, 10:04 PM
Femme - Yes, I am! And I'm actually starting to enjoy it more and more. Its part of what I'm "giving up" for Lent, a half hour 3 times a week to exercise.
Jenn - Its hard on weekends (I should have clarified this) because there is no lunch/dinner at school on weekends. Its brunch, which pretty much consists of pastry/sugary things and fruit. There is always yogurt available and most of the time a salad bar but the temptation is always greater on weekends... plus a lot of outings (hanging out with friends etc.) involve a lot of sugary things. I know I have options, but the healthy choice is always harder on those days. I really enjoy SBD, it makes me feel good and when I eat off-plan, it makes me feel physically bad its just breaking those old behaviors that I am finding hard-- which makes sense. I've always been told I have an addictive personality and I see it with food more than anything else.
Debbie - I really want to make this work. So bad. The things you describe about having pictures taken, I can relate to. Being overweight is connected to so many knotted self-esteem issues that I have had over the year that, once defeated, will change everything I think.
Heidi and Anne - Thank you both so much. I definitely do need some sleep and a cheering sections is something I definitely need. :)
03-10-2010, 01:48 AM
Kate - sorry if my post sounded uppity - I do remember what it was like in college a longgggg ten years + ago but I also want to open your options up. How about storing some OP foods in your room? We had a "store" on campus that we could buy small things, like carrots, celery, ranch dressing, cheese from. Do you? While not totally filling, those would help to supplement as snacks.
I can imagine it's hard with the temptations but if you are serious, you will find a way. We have one [moderate to low since I took one of the only jobs offered to me when I was unemployed 6 short months ago] income right now to feed 2 humans and 3 cats but I vowed to make it work.
Do you have a micro fridge? If you start on Ph 2 after a Mon-Fri on Ph1, perhaps that will help? Mon-Fri ph1 for 5 days, then ph2 for 2 then ph1 for 5 over two weeks then switching to ph2 completely should do it if you find there are no options whatsoever.
Where there is a will, there is a way!
03-10-2010, 10:52 AM
Jenn - Please don't apologize! :) Your post really made me think and I needed that. I read the link to Cyndi's post too and yes it was a swift kick in the arse and it was exactly what I needed. I woke up today feeling a lot more confident in myself. We don't have a place like that, though it would be great it we did. We do have a healthy options dining hall (which I usually go to- the food is better quality and better for you), though. I do have a micro fridge, I was doing well for awhile keeping it stocks with OP snacks, I'll have to stop by the store when I come back from break.
Thats an interesting way of easing into the two week of Ph1. I'm going to shoot for the whole two weeks, but I will keep that idea in mind. :)
03-10-2010, 11:06 AM
Join us on the daily chats, Kate. They are a huge help!
03-10-2010, 02:51 PM
Glad that you are thinking about it all. And yes, POST OFTEN! Even if sometimes it feels you are talking to yourself out loud :lol3: I do this OFTEN.