Oh, I've been on every diet. Really. And I KNOW I need to start eating healthy again and exercising. I've lost a lot of weight and regained it. I know. My husband is supportive but won't change his eating. He also has a heart problem and can't do much besides walking at a slow pace. He's very sedentary and loves tv and movies and sleeping. I feel like I'm getting sucked down. I love to be outside and love to lift weights and walk and DO
things. I work, I go to school, I have 3 kids that are into sports and ccd, etc. I feel like if I had a friend who wanted to join me and time to do it, I'd have more success. How do you all overcome this stuff. I can't be the only one. Oh, and I do eat when I'm happy , mad, glad, sad ,etc. This stress about DH heart condition is on the front burner right now and I'd like to not eat to feel better. Also, when I have a day that I decide to start, I get a migraine headache before noon!!!
02-22-2009, 08:01 PM
This is really the best place for me to get support. I don't know anyone else who's dieting, and I'm kind of on my own. My boyfriend is really sweet about the comments he makes, but he's not dieting either.
02-22-2009, 08:23 PM
I get my support from my boyfriend and this site. But I do everything alone. When I first joined, I, too, was feeling like it was impossible due to my boyfriend, who eats what he wants and doesn't exercise. Like, how can I be in the same room with him and exercise while he doesn't?
I think eventually you find that motivation. Checking in here frequently helps too. There's a lot of us whose partners are not on the same page as us.
Also, I try to get in activity that's not exactly exercise... like walking to work or from it, taking the stairs to our apartment (23 flights), choosing active dates like bowling. And find exercises you don't mind doing by yourself. I have a Wii and do Dance Dance Revolution. My bf also likes to play Wii tennis with me so we'll play like 20 games a night. You can do sit-ups, push-ups, leg lifts, squats, lunges, etc., during commercials on TV.
At this point, my bf sees me losing weight and knows my goal and wants me to reach it so he will go on walks with me or he will even suggest we eat healthier foods when I'm craving junk. He was way more helpful and participatory when he saw I was actually committed to it and not just talking about it.
02-22-2009, 08:28 PM
I found a great book at the library called Lean Mom, Fit Family... you might go read it, all sorts of ideas plus recipes for a mom to stay in shape and plan meals - husbands eat more then us, so it has portion sizes for moms, kids and husbands.
If you are eating emotionally then you'll have to get a grip on that... learn relaxation techniques, take care of yourself (including eating right/exercising) so you can take care of others. Frazzled mom's can't.
02-22-2009, 08:31 PM
This is difficult for me too....
Previously I joined weight watcher's with my sister and we were weight loss buds. I have moved about an hour away from her and we can't do it togehter anymore due busy schedules and drive times.... I miss having a buddy sooo much. I keep hoping i might meet someone at my meeting, but I havent really talked to anyone yet at my new meeting.
I have support from my DBF. We work out together at the gym though he doesn't push which is what I need. If I am pushed I tend to rebel. Also he doesn't eat any junk in front of me and doesn't bring it in the house. He is super supportive but also wants me to know he loves me no matter what my size which is important for me.
I also really like this site. I recently started blogging about my weight lose which I enjoy- it is journaling online for me... I don't have many readers yet, but I keep reading others and hoping to get some followers. :)
If you come up with other ideas for support around you let me know becuase I think it would help me too!:hug:
Perhaps and email pen pal for weight loss? I would be interested in corresponding with you daily...??
02-22-2009, 10:23 PM
Right now .. Only this place and all you wonderful people! mostly everyone else thinks i should stop losing weight.
02-22-2009, 10:35 PM
You know what I did? I happened to have some very scary health scares during the middle of the night a few times and he knew how much it meant to me to lose this. And he could tell there was a difference as I gained weight this year. He knew that it meant a lot to me. I overhauled everything and I talked to him about it beforehand. If he didn't eat something I ate, he'd have to fend for himself and he knew from the beginning. I will give him slightly bigger portions but I don't want to force him on this diet of mine. But all my slightly bigger portions for him are still stock full of veggies and healthy stuff. I'll ask him what he would like and if I can fit it in my plan, I'll do it. I basically forced him into this. He is quite fine with it. The other day we had Kashi pizza and he said, "I don't like it but it's good for you, so I will eat it." It means a lot to me that he does that. I still verbalize to him that I worry about him but I think over the spring, he may try to walk more. He realizes that his health is worse and that is a good thing. Just like smoking, you can't force people to change their eating habits.
Also, are you eating enough if you are getting headaches? Are you addicted to caffeine perhaps? What does your plan entail?
I usually try to do something else when I feel emotional or if I feel like eating when emotional, I make plans for it in my points. Try doing something else, like exercise, clean, read, do something and totally engage yourself in it.
Do what you need to do to feel good. Offer to let him come stroll with you. Not for fitness but to spend time with each other. Even walking around the block once or twice will help him and even the extra steps may help a bit for you.
02-22-2009, 11:08 PM
Honestly on here! I am all over the place meeting wonderful, supportive and many times funny folks! I have subscribed to 4 threads on here, but inbetween I am all over.
02-22-2009, 11:19 PM
Here and another forum that isn't dedicated to weight but has a weight loss thread. My husband honestly isn't very supportive when it comes to my weight loss. One time I complained that I always get salads when we go out while he gets whatever he wants. He said he was going to start eating healthier when we eat out but that has not happened. He also does not exercise even though he said that he would start using the elliptical regularly. He eats what he wants, doesn't really exercise but doesn't gain a pound. Although I think he is slowly becoming aware since he says things like "I tried not to eat junk at work today" or "I was glad I walked to work today". So it's something.
I realized I have to find the motivation in myself and not wait for "support" at least not from people in your life. That why sites like this are a Godsend.
02-22-2009, 11:28 PM
I get most of my support from here, and I don't even post that much! I do a lot of reading here and find lots of inspiration. I also have a co-worker who has lost a significant amount of weight, so he has been very informative and supportive. I don't have a BF or a DH, so I'm kind of going it alone right now. I'm kind of silly in that I don't really like to talk to people in "real life" about my weight loss journey because it makes me feel put on the spot. I really do a lot better when I'm just quietly focusing on my own and hanging out here!
02-23-2009, 05:54 AM
Wow. Thanks for all your honesty. It seems as if I am not the only one. I guess, in my ideal fantasy, I would have a neighbor or friend or sister to walk with daily or lift weights with. I think the rest would be easier if I had that. I used to. I know, I have to do it myself. I also know that when the weather around here (New England) gets better, I can take my kids walking with me while they scooter and walk the dog. I even own a treadmill and weight bench and mini trampoline. I have no excuses, I know. And my DH does most of the cooking an he's willing to cook healthy for me. He also shops and will buy whatever I need. As for the headaches...they're chronic for me and get worse when I try to cut out wheat. The only time I ever stopped getting headaches is for 2 years when I didn't eat wheat, gluten, yeast, flour, sugar or salt. But I don't want to be that strict this time around. Clearly, I couldn't do it forever. Thank you all for your words. I will try to dig deep.
02-23-2009, 07:42 AM
I find this site to be a HUGE source of inspiration and motivation. I also have a co-worker who lost a significant amount of weight a couple of years ago. She has been great to talk to because she truly knows what challenges I am facing.
Hang in there! You CAN do this!
02-23-2009, 08:28 AM
My main source of support is here....but my whole family also supports me too so I'm lucky in this aspect. The only thing is when I'm having a problem they have no idea on what I'm talking about lol
02-23-2009, 08:29 AM
I am very fortunate in the support department. My friends and family are not supportive and they are ALWAYS pushing food on me or asking me to go and eat out BUT...
I get a lot of inspiration and support from here of couse but I also have a Weight Watcher's Buddy and weight losing partner in my friend's Mom! Yes i said it right! LOL! My friend's Mom!
We joined Weight Watcher's together and and really enjoy our group which is a rather large and LOUD group (30+ members)
A very unlikely team we are but my friend is thrilled that her Mom is losing weight (16lbs in 7 weeks) and even though we don't work out together (she lives in a neighboring town and too far away) I drive down and pick her up every week and we go to our meeting!
We keep each other motivated by phone and email and it's like a competition on who will lose the most weight each week that SHE is winning believe it or not so far!
Having a Weight Loss Buddy really makes it more fun and enjoyable. And I encourage anyone to find one if they can. And your buddy can be the most unlikely person that you would have never guessed!
02-23-2009, 08:43 AM
That is the type of support I'd LIKE. But, maybe this is something that I need to do on my own. I believe that the universe, God, whatever is at work here, sends me lessons to learn. I've had many different lessons. This might be one and I need to work it out. I'll be here to find support, for sure. I'm off to a good start this morning...5 mins RB (good for cellulite),20 min HIIT, 5 min crunches. Egg white and veggie omelette with LF string cheese, 1 slice high fiber whole wheat toast and 1/2 svg of almonds. I won't be able to eat again until 2ish so this needs to sustain me. Thanks for all your words.
02-23-2009, 08:56 AM
I rely a lot on the help of my boyfriend. He tried to do simple things like not offer me junk food, not eat it around me, and he's even trying to diet with me now!
02-24-2009, 03:17 PM
I have a lot of "Cheerleaders" and 3fc is a terrific support system, but in real life, the everyday grind, I don't have a weight loss buddy, or a work out partner. My sister has recently also been losing weight which is great, but she lives in Indy, and a 12 hour drive from me, so we just support each other via e-mail and facebook. My husband could stand to lose 20-30 pounds but has NO desire to lose weight. He also has a heart problem (Cardiomyopathy) . He rather take 4 prescription pills daily, (not to mention the huge cost of them) than try to lower his cholesterol and blood pressure by losing a small amount of weight. He washes his Coreg, Bp med, and 2 cholesterol meds down with a beer every evening. This causes me a huge amount of anxiety. When I got to his weight I asked him if he'd like to join me for my last 25 pounds, and he said NO!!! I said okay.
Along the way I've had a few friends hop on the wagon with me, and they all go for a while, then jump (or fall) off. A few have tried to get me off with them, and a few "fat friends" have basically abandoned me altogether. I think that losing weight is a lonely experience some times, especially when you have a huge amount to lose like I did. Some how I think people just expect you to fail in the beginning so they don't take you seriously and then when food is not center stage in your relationship, you have nothing in common anymore and just drift apart.
I'm rambling. I need to get outside and get my walk in on this BEAUTIFUL 65 degree day in NE.
02-24-2009, 07:52 PM
all i have is this site. my roommate has been trying to bring me down by ordering pizzas and unfortunately i've been succumbing. he's moving out this weekend though. so that should help.
02-24-2009, 08:00 PM
Me too, this site is my main source of support. My boyfriend is nice and understanding, and lets me pick restaurants based on what I can eat, and 'let's' everything that we eat at home (because I do all the cooking and grocery shopping). But he's not dieting, and doesn't really get the issues or the calorie counting, and most of the time thinks I'm being too hard on myself and I could just have one more candy or whatever. He's fantastic and wonderful, but not my dieting buddy. And my mom is proud of me, because that's what mom's do, but we don't really talk about it. So I come to 3FC. All the time. Literally, all of the time. Man, I need some girlfriends!
02-24-2009, 09:05 PM
I mainly just come here. I feel like most people that know me well are either tired of hearing about my weight loss or they do not understand. DH tries to be supportive (as do some family members but they don't live near me) but he still doesn't even know what it is I am "allowed" to eat and after a short period where he said he was going to join me, he has decided to go completely off the wagon. In the beginning he used to go to the gym with me but not anymore. (He does work out, but on his lunch break)
For ME- this really has to be something I do on my own. In the past I have found that when I rely on another person to go, although there is some motivation in the accountability, there also feels like an excuse not to go if they can't. As though I am released from my commitment because it was to them and not to me. I hope that makes sense!
Sometimes I meet with a local running group but most days I run alone because that is the easiest way for me to make sure it gets done. I have two kids too and a DH in the military so it isn't exactly easy for me to get out of the house by myself! I have to take what I can get!