Weight Loss Support - Comparing goals

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08-14-2008, 03:02 PM
Okay, I know that I should just go down to the weight I'm comfortable at, as long as it is healthy.. but does anyone else do this?
I'm 19, and 5' 3".. I chose my goal based on what I considered "average" and on BMI. I really want to stay between 130-135, but when I'm looking through the forums and I see people who are at the same height as me with goals of 120 or less.. or people who are taller with the same goal as me or even less, I start to wonder if I'll be happy at 130?

I carry my weight all over, I have a bigger bust and my stomach has some definition (even at this weight, I can see the shape of my muscles although it is no where near flat). I KNOW I shouldn't be bothered by this and I shouldn't compare because everyone has a different body, but being that I've got.. about 15 more lbs to lose, I'm wondering if I'll still be.. "chubby".
I'm a size 11 right now in jeans, not a tight 11 but a comfortable 11 (in juniors) and I really wanted to get down to a size.. 7/8. Also with sizes, I mean, on top I have gone from a size XL/L to a M/L and I'm happy with that and I've lost a lot but it I only went from a size 13 to an 11 (took 25-30 lbs!)
So another thing I'm wondering is if I'm going to need to lose the same amount to get down to a 9.. but then again, I thought that as you lose more and more, each pound gets more and more noticeable so maybe that will mean sizes too?

It's weird, because I still want to keep my curves.. as I've lost weight, I've still kept my proportions so I know I'll keep them at 130, but I'm really wondering if it will be enough... I like my body for its curves, and my boyfriend has always loved my shape and he thinks I'm perfect at my weight right now (then again he has always said that..) and he is scared I'll get too skinny, and I don't want to get too skinny either but ahh! This is kind of.. frustrating.
Am I the only one?

I'm just.. a little scared I guess that I won't be happy at 130... I mean I'm still feeling good at my weight right now, and I still dress to compliment my body but I want to get down to a weight that I'm solid and happy with.
Does anyone else feel this way?

08-14-2008, 03:12 PM
Well, if it makes you feel any better, I am 5'3" and my goal weight is 134lbs. I know my own body and what looks and feels right to me. I notice people taller than me with lower goals... but I just think they're crazy! LOL.

Stick to what you know is right for you. You have to live in your body. We (as a society) are far too obsessed with anorexic fashion models as the epitome of beauty. Yuck.

Peace, Heather

08-14-2008, 03:15 PM
Well, if it makes you feel any better, I am 5'3" and my goal weight is 134lbs. I know my own body and what looks and feels right to me. I notice people taller than me with lower goals... but I just think they're crazy! LOL.

Stick to what you know is right for you. You have to live in your body. We (as a society) are far too obsessed with anorexic fashion models as the epitome of beauty. Yuck.

Peace, Heather

Thank you.. that's true. I know it all comes down to the person but it's one of those things I needed to get out. I guess I needed to hear it from someone else! :hug:

08-14-2008, 03:23 PM
Do what makes you feel good. If you feel great at 130-135 then dont change that. Im 5'5 and my goal as of right now is 160... there are plenty of girls taht want to be 130 or lower at 5'5, but i know that it wouldnt suit my body. Also if you are muscular you are going to weight a little more. You could weigh 135 and wear the same size as someone who weighs 120 cause of your body compositon

08-14-2008, 03:39 PM
I was thinking the exact same thing. I had to lose 30 lbs to go from a 12 to a 10/8 - and I'm also wondering if I'll be happy with myself in the later 120s since alot of women have goal weights around 115. I know the standard answer is "wait and see" but it's still disappointing to be waiting and seeing their really low numbers in the process. I know I'm just taking something really silly really personally - but at times I wonder if I'll EVER get there, and where it is, exactly, that I'm supposed to get. I like to have a plan and a list (I'm one of those LOL) and all of these wishy washy answers on the trail toward goal weights make me really impatient and frustrated.

So... basically... I have no answers, but you're not alone!

08-14-2008, 03:42 PM
Well - if this makes you feel any better, I'm an inch shorter than you with a goal 5 pounds higher LOL!

I try not to compare to others at all with goal weights. Truthfully, I have never weighed as little as I do now (except sometime when I passed through this weight in high school), and I don't even know what I will look like at 135.

There are several factors that I have taken into consideration when choosing 135:

1. I am 40, so there is no way I will have the physique of a 20 year old.

2. I strength train, bike and run - so I know my legs are bigger and more muscular :lifter:

3. Loose skin is going to play a factor. I don't want to continue to lose weight and look scrawny in some parts of my body in an attempt to become smaller.

4. I am a curvy lady, with an hourglass shape, so not likely to be really tiny. My frame size is also medium to large, so that also means 110 pounds is likely out for me.

So, with all of that said, I will be evaluating once I get to goal and see if I want to stop or continue.

08-14-2008, 03:50 PM
I know the feeling. . . I orginially had my goal set at 128/127, knowing that I've always felt best about my body when I'm under the 130s. But looking through old pictures I realized that in the upper 120s I still have back rolls, so in my mind I keep saying I want to get down to below 120 . . .but I'm not putting any goal like that on paper or on here as my goal weight yet because it seems daunting and I might be happy once I get to 128. I haven't been there since high school so I'm not sure how I will feel when I get there. So I too am playing the wait and see game. Or should I say weight and see? ;)

08-14-2008, 04:00 PM
It's not wierd, it's normal. I kind of think we all like to *peek* at other people's goals and compare to ours - at least at some point during our journeys. Might be to see if we've picked one that's at least close to realistic.

What's tough about peeking on a website is we can't really see the people to know what kind of build/frame they have. Just because two people are the same height doesn't mean they have the same bone density, body type or musculature. Someone who is more all over curvy is probably going to be able to look good at a higher weight than someone who's built like a board (me :D ) I've peeked at a few myself and seen some people similar in height to me with goal weights higher than where I am now and, by golly, in their pictures they look amazing - I don't (yet ;) ). I've also seen some people with goals lower than mine and I have to remind myself of all the things I've just been telling you because the very first thought that pops into my head is "ooh, I should be shooting lower". Nope. At this point, I'm using that goal number more as a reference point. I may decide to stop before I get there depending on how my clothes fit.

08-14-2008, 04:21 PM
We had a thread here on a very similar topic just recently. There are lots of replies in that thread so I here is a link for you:

Supporting Underweight Goals? thread (http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/showthread.php?t=148470)

Don't let the name of the thread confuse you.
And welcome to 3FC!

08-14-2008, 05:07 PM
Thanks Tomato for the thread, I'm reading it right now and it is really helpful!

Thanks for all the responses.. After I posted this up, I worked out for a bit on the treadmill and I spent a while in front of the mirror..
I've decided that though I won't really know until I get down to goal but I think I should be happy with it.
I have a medium-ish frame and thanks Yoyo and Candy for reminding me about frame and muscle, I've always had broad shoulders and girls I know that are 120 at my height tend to have tinier bone structures than me..
My original goal was 135 and the only reason I went towards 130 was because I figured I may gain a pound or two, as long as I stay between 130 - 135 I should be fine..
I'm trying not to look at the number itself but how much I'll lose, if that makes sense.. because 17 lbs more than I am now was a HUGE difference, and even now I'm really starting to feel comfortable with myself.. and since each pound can be seen more and more as you get smaller, 15-17 lbs less than I am now will make a bigger difference than it has before.. I'm looking at my shape and everything, and then I thought about the "difference" it will make on me and I'm happy with that, and maybe my size difference will also be greater too, so I may actually be a size 8. I knew a girl who was 5' 0", pear-shaped, 150 and a size 8.. so the size thing is definitely a more of a "wait and see" thing for me, in the meantime I'm just going to focus on each day and week.

Thanks for all the responses, it's nice to hear from people who feel the same way or are pretty happy with their goals! :D
:hug: :hug:

08-14-2008, 06:03 PM
When you look at the height and weight goal of others, you cannot see their age, nor their body frame.

You can have two people of the same height, and one of them can be small framed (narrower shoulders, narrower hipbones, smaller wrists and hands, etc.) and the other person can be larger framed. It would be perfectly natural for the smaller framed person to be able to achieve and look healthy at a smaller weight...and the same for the larger framed person.

Also, you cannot always see the age of the person...and this makes a big difference as well! It may be perfectly feasable for a 22 year old young lady to have a goal weight of 120...but a for a 50 year old woman of the same height and frame who has had 4 children, it might not be an attainable goal.

Also, you have to take into consideration the level of fitness that the person has. Some people are perfectly happy simply being HEALTHIER, and losing some excess pounds. Their goals are to look better, and to feel better-and to sneak in 20 or 30 minutes of exercise in each day. For others-they may have higher goals of running a marathon, or entering a fitness competition.

The best thing I can advise is don't compare yourself to others. Compare yourself against YOURSELF. Whether you want to lose 20 pounds or 120, and whether you want to take a 20 minute walk each day, or become a competing bodybuilder-these goals are your own. We are all different!

For me, my goal weight is around 150-155 pounds. I don't want to be waif thin-because I like to keep my curves. ;)