100 lb. Club - who bugs you the most about your weight?

03-12-2007, 05:31 PM
who is the person(s) in your life who bugs you about the fact that you need to lose "some weight"? it your husband, boyfriend, family, ect..?

03-12-2007, 05:56 PM
My mom and it used to be my grandma as well. My husband tells me I don't need to lose weight.

03-12-2007, 06:12 PM
No one but my doctor... and it sometimes pisses me off because she could lose a few herself. LOL.

03-12-2007, 06:13 PM
a horrible aunt who used to tell me this everytime she saw me from like age 8...my mum would never believed me when i told her what she would say. horrible witch lol sorry....my boyfriend says i dont need to lose any.

canadian mom
03-12-2007, 06:20 PM
nobody but me!

03-12-2007, 06:47 PM
My grandma used to. She would be proud of me for losing weight if she were still alive. After she passed on, no one really bugged me about it.

03-12-2007, 06:53 PM
My parents were horrible at it. Since I've been working out they haven't said anything. I think particularly since I am doing something about it and they also have weight to lose.

03-12-2007, 07:41 PM
I feel very fortunate that I don't have anyone in my life who *bugs* me about it - other than myself, that is (I'm getting better, though!) ;) . I know there are people who have been concerned for me, from a health standpoint, but it's never come across in a negative way....I'm grateful for that!

Liverpool Sue
03-12-2007, 07:57 PM
Both my allergist and dr says time to get it off LOL geeze gimme some time:tantrum:

Hubby loves me just the way I am or will be ...not sure if thats good or bad really :dizzy:

Chunky Teacher
03-12-2007, 07:59 PM
My Granny is rough! I think she lost her manners at age 85 or so. Every time I see her she mentions my weight. At least now she can see I am doing something about it and has cut the rude comments down for a more pleasing "You look a little better now, keep it up"

03-12-2007, 08:02 PM
Mostly Myself!!!

There are a few others that have made comments throughout my life! Too many to list!

03-12-2007, 08:24 PM
No one has ever really bugged me about needing to lose weight, ever; which is surprising since I have been fat my whole life.
What bugs me is that there are people that my family has told about my efforts (which I am a very private person and wish that I could disclose my personal information as I feel comfortable). I have one aunt, who at family get togethers looks me up and down to see if I've made progress.
Last week she said I looked smaller, and I said "no, I look the same" which was the truth - I hadn't gained or lost since she had seen me.... I was just irritated that she needed to make a scene out of it.
I just wish people wouldn't comment at all.

03-12-2007, 08:45 PM
Me. No one says a thing. I almost wish they would. Someone has to be bugged about it... especially my husband! :)

03-12-2007, 08:52 PM
i bug myself enough

03-12-2007, 11:48 PM
My mom has always been the one to comment about my weight. DH, bless his heart, has never said a derogatory word about it, even when I was DOUBLE the size I was when we got married.

Mom's blatant comments have subsided, but her new compliments are a double edged sword....I just wish she wouldn't say anything at all. A compliment that stings doesn't do anything for you....

03-13-2007, 01:43 AM
My father used to bug me about it when I was growing up (at 5'9" I weighed between 145 and 150--no wonder I have body image issues!) and into my adulthood. And the guy was overweight himself and still is. About 15 years ago, however, I'd had enough and said we would no longer come to visit if he couldn't keep his mouth shut about my weight. He hasn't said a word since. He still comments about other people, though, like contestants on Wheel of Fortune or Jeopardy or the guy he eats dinner with at the assisted living facility. Really bugs me, but he's 90, and has dementia so it's rather useless to mention it.

03-13-2007, 02:04 AM
The person that bugged me the most about my weight was my Doctor. I see him (my specialist) every 4 months. He has been relentless about me losing wt. and keeping it off. The good news is that he bothered me enough that I lost the weight, but I stress out every time I have an appt. and am scared to death that I might weigh a lb. more than my last visit. I also feel like telling him sometime that he needs to heed his own advice, as he's a pretty chunky fellow himself.

03-13-2007, 08:05 AM
No one ever said a word to me about my weight. No one. Even growing up. And EVEN my doctors. Some doctors, huh?

Now of course it's me who does all the self-bugging.

03-13-2007, 09:32 AM
Just me, and my doctor. My sister used to tease me when I was young (yup, been overweight/obese for a LONG time!!) but then I got bigger than her and she all of a sudden shut up about it! Can't figure out why! ;)

Inspire Me
03-13-2007, 10:14 AM
While growing up I was like rockinrobin no one bugged me, I almost wished someone had because I didn't have a clue that I was getting big. Image wasn't a big thing in my world. Oh poor me you say. It was like I didn't go through that stage girls go through where boys are important or primping. I didn't have many friends and that may be. Well as I grew up people made up for it and my parents bugged me into screaming matches and my grandmother will send me articles that are well intensioned but when I am hard enough on myself it really hurts to be seen that way. My hubby buggs me to exercise and then I use that as an excuse not to. The odd thing is why isn't this enough to jump start my passion to loose weight. I can't seem to find the goal.

Mrs Quadcrew
03-13-2007, 10:28 AM
No one has ever said anything to me about my weight. I asked my Dr. once why he never mentioned it to me. His reply was - "I figured you have been through enough in your life, I didn't feel it was my place to add to it. I figured you would ask me about it if it bothered you." (he has been through the loss of our 2 sons with me - so I thought that was really sweet that he said that) Dh has been making some really cool comments lately though - like it'll be nice the next time we go out west - you'll be able to ride the horses with me!!;)

03-13-2007, 10:28 AM
My momma, who bugs me for the right reason ... my health. She's my biggest motivator and she never fails to compliment me on how well I'm doing or how beautiful I look. She's awesome.

03-13-2007, 12:13 PM
My sister-in-law (we don't live in the same state - for which I am eternally grateful!!) - she does not do it to encourage - she thrives on spitefulness and embarrassing me

Admittedly - ME

But, it's fine if I do it - I do it just to stay on track.

03-13-2007, 12:38 PM
Absolutely nobody!...not even my doctor. But, even if my doctor had said something, would it have made any difference at all? Maybe they realize this and have just given up on saying anything anymore.

03-13-2007, 04:32 PM
WOW! I am in awe that so many of you have only one or no people bugging you about your weight. I'm a little jealous!

Every person in my immediate family is constantly nagging at me and bugging me about how fat I am and how I need to lose weight. They all consider themselves "experts" and tell me how or what I should do to lose it. Of course, my parents don't need to lose more than few pounds. My brothers could lose a bit more but they aren't bothered by it as much as me. My mother pokes me in the stomach everytime I see her and tells me how fat I am and reminds me the only reason she is so "honest" about this is because she is the only person in my life who will tell me the truth (as if the mirror or my clothes wasn't enough truth). My father tells me that I am the biggest regret in his lifetime because I am so fat. I bring shame to my family and knowing all this only keeps me from losing the weight. They tell me these things so I will eventually hate it and be motivated to lose the weight but instead it makes me hate myself which only makes me want to dig the hole deeper and hide away in food.

Thank GOD (I literally thank Him for His work in my life) I have found solace in him and have regained some strength that I have lost through much of my life and have enough self respect now to actually look at my weight realistically. Nonetheless, family visits (which I'm currently going through this week) are always stressful and breaking of my spirit.

03-13-2007, 05:59 PM
julzchiki - That is just that saddest thing ever...that your Dad told you. Shame on him. I don't care what their motives are. :hug: :hug: :hug:

03-13-2007, 06:20 PM
First it's me.

It used to be my grandmother. Every summer we stayed with her at the cottage she would catch me alone and call me all sorts of 'fat' names and verbally degrade me (about weight, attitude, you name it). I think she is one of the main reasons I have such an inferiority complex.

Now it's my mom. She's been bugging me to lose weight for 9 years now. Then when I do lose weight, she still makes comments. Doesn't like what I eat cause it's weird. (no sugar added jam/jelly is weird, so is natural PB, quinoa, seafood that's not canned tuna, whole wheat pasta, etc)

I did finally tell her off and she has backed down but it still aggravates me.

03-13-2007, 06:22 PM
I think the only thing worse than someone "bugging" someone about their weight are those people who say NOTHING at all. It's as if politeness is of more value than honesty and caring and a true desire to be supportive. There are *major* health issues associated with being overweight- and I speak from having lost over 102 pounds myself now and still working on the last ten - twenty. I'll stop wherever I feel my best - the 125 on my ticker is the absolute bottom weight at which I would still be healthy for my frame .

Amazingly the people who bother me with very unsupportive behavior *TO EAT* are those in my extended family who are grossly obese themselves (upwards of 350 - easily). I dealt with it politely the first two years , and to be fair I do eat 1500 or so calories a day, so it isn't as though I'm starving.

After awhile it got to be too much - the commentary on how I had a problem and how I needed to eat. So.... This past Christmas when th at sort of thing started I said thank you so much for your concern, my doctor is thrilled with my progress and my health. I'm actually concerned about all of you and your weight as well. Why don't we have an open discussion about how it's impacting your life?

Needless to say, that ended that discussion quickly. The truth is - I don't think I'm going to be hearing about it again. And I'm thankful. People who are working so hard for something they want so badly really should be supported!

I want to be really clear: statements concerning self esteem, belittling statements, actions that are really harassment are not the same as unconditional love and concern and saying to someone "I've noticed. I love you. I've been there. When you're ready I'm here for you and would like to help in any way that I can".

03-13-2007, 07:04 PM
I'm my first worst enemy! I bug myself about being fat, and then go eat a box of cookies!! :?:

My overweight aunt is always saying something to me. Although she peppers in a few positives when I'm woking on losing it. I know she just cares and wants to help. If I didn't regret being fat so much, her words would probably not sting so bad, and I could see that she is just worried about me.

03-13-2007, 07:40 PM
My brother says little "jokes" here and there, but I suspect its partly because he's overweight and unhappy. I have been losing weight and now weigh 20 pounds less than him, and now I fire it right back at him.

My bf doesn't want me to lose weight - I suspect that it's because my boobs are going to shrink as well.. he's so silly, but I appreciate his comments, heh.


03-21-2007, 05:10 PM
My mother and my grandmother!

My grandmother just can't pass up an opportunity to say something about my weight and/or eating. She has been throwing nasty little comments my way all my life. She is just a miserable old woman who has to make everyone else miserable also. She thinks if she criticizes enough, I'll just automatically start losing weight.

My mother likes to pick fights with me about my weight. The thing is, those of us who are overweight "know" what we should or shouldn't be doing. It is not like we are idiots and need everyone to give us "advice" on our eating and exercise habits. We don't need criticism, just love and support. But my mom thinks that I am too stupid to lose weight on my own. She has to give me "advice" every time we are together; then she can't understand why I get upset when she is only trying to "help" me.


03-21-2007, 06:27 PM
My MIL is always after me about my weight. She is Korean and I think I am probably the fattest person she has ever known. She and both my SIL are 4'11-5'0 and MAYBE 100 pounds but I doubt it. I look absolutly giagantic in family photos. When I am with her all she does is feed me though. So weird.

04-12-2007, 03:39 PM
My brother. What really irks me is that he did when I wasn't that fat. But do you know I actually had a boss who came right out and said this to me. That I needed to lose weight. And since I actually live a street away from him -- I actually didn't lose weight on purpose for 2 years because I couldn't bear the thought that he would think it was because of him?

I am sure I had other reasons but I remember feeling that way.

We shop at the same supermarket so I didn't want to run into him and I still don't but a few nights ago I was in line behind him and freaked out for a bit wondering what I would say and do and he didn't notice me. I took that to mean I look so different he didn't even realise it was the same person. God if only I had done this years ago!

04-12-2007, 03:41 PM
hubby says "that body gave me the two best gifts anyone can ask for" yada yada yada.. the things is IS SUPOSE TO SAY ;) lol...
but its all me... i hate being fat

04-12-2007, 03:56 PM
Myself first, and my younger DD, because she's very worried about my health, because she's seen what's happened to some of our family members and she said she wants her mom around for a long time. She actually started crying about this a couple weeks ago and that's what really made me get myself on track again and for good.:p One other thing is my last job, which was absolutely horrible and gave me a breakdown, I heard my main boss tell her sister who worked there that I had a big butt, but if only you could have seen both of theirs also. I was so upset, but they never knew that I heard the comment.

04-12-2007, 04:04 PM
My mother has always been very conscious of my weight throughout my whole life and I WASN'T a fat kid or teen. She would be very careful about the portions she served me and I was often hungry after dinner. It got to the point where I had to sneak food to get enough to eat.

A few times through my twenties, I went on diets and lost weight only to return to my normal level when the diets were over. She was always enthusiastic when I was extra skinny and made 'watch your weight' comments when I was normal.

Now that I'm five pounds thinner than her, she's keeps asking 'how did you lose the weight in your thighs?' ~ we have the same body shape and she's NOT happy that I'm a size smaller than she is. My mom just turned 69 on Monday and I think it's great that she's a size 6 and is active every day.

Only my psychiatrist has talked to me about losing the 50 pounds I gained over four years while being on a med she prescribed. My other two doctors never said boo. Last year, with a switch in meds, I was able to take those 50 pounds off. Now my psychiatrist is cautioning me not to lose any more.

My DH, God bless him, has only mentioned my weight gain twice and is now very proud of my weight loss.

Now that I've lost the weight my brother likes to say "You used to have too much junk in the trunk" to tease me after the fact. But I don't mind. I would have been hurt if he said what he was thinking back when I was fat.

BooBear ~ My first reaction when I read that your boss crititized your weight was "How dare he!" But then I thought about it some more and thought that I wish more people in my life had the courage to say, "We're concerned about your health and wish that you would lose the weight" ~ which is probably NOT the way he said it, but the way he should have. I'm glad you have gotten past the point of not doing something about your weight out of spite of him.

04-12-2007, 04:42 PM
which is probably NOT the way he said it, but the way he should have. I'm glad you have gotten past the point of not doing something about your weight out of spite of him.

Although I know what you are saying, he was just trying to be mean. Which is why I felt like I couldn't let him think he got to me even two years later. But do you ever watch the show "intervention" -- why do they have anorexic /blumic interventions but not for overweight people?

04-12-2007, 05:10 PM
The one person who bugs me about my weight is my sister. Everytime I see her she comments on my big tummy or jiggly arms. It bothers me because she is the same size as me if not bigger. Who is she to judge me so harshly?
It drives me crazy!! Arggggggh!

04-12-2007, 05:13 PM
Oh yeah, And my grandfather. I would only go see him once or twice a year. As soon as he would see me he would say "Gee, you've put on some more weight."
He would then procede to offer me cookies, fried chicken and whatnot. And then INSIST that I finish whatever he put on my plate. :)
He passed away last month so I won't have to hear those words again.
Silly huh?

04-12-2007, 05:57 PM
No one will really bugs me about it. My grandpa always says " You look good kid" everytime he sees me. Which makes me feel a little better. My mom and dad instead of them telling I need to lose a few if they see me eating something not so good for me they say "You really don't need that." Which hurts my feelings...but I know its just their way of saying hey Amanda time to make better choices.

04-12-2007, 06:00 PM
OMG I forgot about my sister. Every now and then she'll go through her closet and put some things on my bed. Saying that theyre too big for her now and they should fit me perfectly. Wtf....why not just call me a cow Amie? The thing is she isn't all that tiny. 230-240 range. But she thinks she's so much smaller than me..

04-12-2007, 07:19 PM
My mom.

The other day she said, "You're back end has gotten SOOOO little! Of course, your legs are STILL FAT!"

...and I wonder how I became an emotional eater????!!!!!:?:

:tantrum: :tantrum: :tantrum: :tantrum: :tantrum:

04-12-2007, 08:58 PM
My godmother, who's like my mother-figure. She'd always say stuff like "Well if you could get into a 2x or 1x you'd have so many more choices than a 3x" or "You'd be so much happier if you'd just lose a little weight" etc.

Since I've started losing weight recently, she's backed off some of the comments, but not entirely. I know she means well & only has my best interest at heart, but... gah. All the comments do is make me feel even guiltier than I already feel.

04-12-2007, 09:30 PM
You look great and congrats on your weight loss. I was reading your post and it read that you were on a med and have switched and have had more success after the switch of meds. Could you tell me the meds?? I have posted in another forum of the concerns of Effexor. I have been on it for several years and think that has had a little to do with the weight gain and now the difficulty to take it off. I am just curious what med you were referring to.

04-12-2007, 10:49 PM
I am my worst enemy. My mom died when I was a size 10 teenager. She never spoke ill of my size, only that I was tall and hard to shop for. My dad never said a word. The worst feeling I ever got from a family member was from an Aunt. She hadn't seen a picture of me in many years, the last time she saw me I was a slim (size 10) 18 year old girl. Then she sees a size 22 woman. And she wrote me and asked my why I was so fat and was I doing anything about it. She's in Germany, and life is so different there. When I lived with her, we walked almost everywhere. Or we rode bikes. I can't do those things daily anymore. Nothing is within walking distance. Anyway, I found my copy of the picture she got a few weeks ago, and I can see why she was distressed. My ex told me my rear was too big. Then I met a guy that thought it was great. So I am learning to love myself, eat healthy and exercise and to ignore the nay-sayers.

04-13-2007, 12:29 AM
My parents! I remember my mom calling me fat, ugly, and nasty, when I was about 16. My dh, then my bf wanted to kill her. He blames my parents for all of my self esteem issues. My dad's family are all over 6 foot tall and skinny. They eat whatever they want, whenever they want. You know, the good ol' meat and potatoes family and alot of home made candy, but ofcourse they all still look wonderful. I think my dad thinks that I should have gotten that from him and I didn't.

My dh also bugs me. Not about my weight really but about what I eat. You all know I am sure. The "Do you really need that" or Why are you still eating". I know he just does it because he loves me though.

04-13-2007, 02:12 PM
My uncle who is 4 years older than me. He was like my older brother. We were eating buddies when we were little. He would take care of me & feed me. Over the years he would try & talk to me about my weight, (ie telling me I was making a sandwich w/too much peanut butter) and when I was about 14 & hit 200 he sat me down & we had a serious talk about it. He said he was concerned not only for my health, but how fat girls are perceived in our society. That it would not be easy for me to navigate those years as a bigger girl, and wouldn't it be easier to just lose the weight?

As nice & concerned as he was about it, he never once came over & offered to go for a walk or play tennis or anything similar. So much for that!

Right after that, he joined a gym & lost his extra weight. At that point we sort of grew apart. He was an adult & working, and we moved to a different city, so we didn't see each other as much. He may have mentioned my weight again, I don't remember.

What I DO remember about those years is that I had a dream that I went to his work with him & he wouldn't let me meet any of his coworkers. He dropped me off at a gym across the street & said to just stay there. It's one of those dreams you will never forget.

Recently he moved closer and I thought it would be good, because we could hang out more & maybe go to the gym together. He didn't live here that long before he moved to a different city again. He had a pancreas attack & I went to visit him in the hospital. He was at a higher weight, and we talked about a lot of things, mostly why I never came to his kid's birthday parties. I explained about my kidney disease, and that I'd made a choice not to have kids, so sometimes a little kid birthday party is the last place I want to be. He said he understood that, then asked me if my kidney disease was weight-related!!! :rollpin: (for those wondering, no, i was born with it!)

Other than that, my grammy used to tell me I "look so pretty when you do your hair & makeup, when are you going to do someting about your weight?" Her comment is how I got my username. :)

04-13-2007, 03:01 PM
My children say things once in awhile. But worst of all my husband of 17 years left me for a tiny 22 year old woman/girl! I had always been around 125 to 130. Once i started gaining weight it came on FAST. And for the last two years he had made a million comments. Finally he just left. How's that for self esteem??!!

04-13-2007, 03:22 PM
Other than myself, it has always been my mother. Her most recent remark was in the fall when my entire family got together for our first ever family reunion and we had an appointment to have our portrait taken. ******o the Camera dude put me in the front (Oy) and when we were looking at the proofs, I groaned and muttered something about him putting me up front (other members of my family are also overweight, though I am admittedly, the heaviest and they all had nice skinny people blocking their thighs and stomachs). My mother turned to me and said "Well, now that you know what you look like, maybe you'll do something about it." Apparently she thinks that at forty years old I've never looked in a mirror...

My aunt on my father's side, was always the biggest person I knew, but she was so much fun. Within the last year, she has joined a Curves where she lives and when she was last here to visit, she looked fantastic! I said to her, "Everytime I see you, you're smaller!" and she replied with "And everytime I see you, you're bigger.":o Family. Gotta love 'em.

04-13-2007, 03:25 PM
As an adult? Myself.

My family Dr once told me something. The way he said it prompted me to not go back and see him for 3.5 years (then I got strep throat and needed antibiotics). I was a few pounds lighter than the last time I'd seen him and he knew we'd lost our son, so he didn't say a peep about how fat I was this last time.

My OB merely asked me at my last pap (in January, right after I'd started losing weight) about my pre-pregnancy weight and seemed happy that all of that plus a few more pounds were gone. She didn't harp on it too much though.

I can't wait to go back to both of them so they can see my progress! I do want to wait a bit longer on the OB though. ;)

04-13-2007, 03:44 PM
My mother!!!! She has said it in other ways though...indirectly. It drives me nuts :dizzy:

04-14-2007, 02:02 AM
Just me.

04-14-2007, 10:12 AM
Starzzy, your comment about your OB reminded me of several years ago, DH and I were TTC. I saw a new OBGYN and told him about our struggles in conceiving a child. He told me that if I got pregnant at the weight I was (I was about 260 at the time) he would refuse me as a patient. Then during my exam, he asked me if I had ever considered a breast reduction (I'm a D cup and have never had any back issues because of my boobs). I cried for three days after leaving his office and never went back to him again.

04-14-2007, 04:33 PM
Well, family is tough. I have this Aunt who always ask me if I am trying to lose weight. Then every time she talks to my mother she says "So, is Mandy trying to lose weight." EVERY SINGLE TIME!!! I was a "heavy" teenager and I will never forget the time my sister told me that I looked like a "beached whale" in my swimsuit. Or the ever so lovely, "You have such a pretty face". My gran-dad saying that I got the brains and my sister got the looks.

04-14-2007, 05:13 PM
Starzzy, your comment about your OB reminded me of several years ago, DH and I were TTC. I saw a new OBGYN and told him about our struggles in conceiving a child. He told me that if I got pregnant at the weight I was (I was about 260 at the time) he would refuse me as a patient. Then during my exam, he asked me if I had ever considered a breast reduction (I'm a D cup and have never had any back issues because of my boobs). I cried for three days after leaving his office and never went back to him again.

That's horrible. It reminds me of my first time going to a gyno. I was told by the receptionist, as soon as she saw me, "You know he's going to tell you something about your weight". Then when I went to see him, he proceeded to do just that - it was his main focus. Nevermind the fact that I explained to him that I was 22 years old and it was my first trip to the gyno and I was super nervous. He didn't explain anything to me just about the weight and how I should lose it. It really messed me up and here I am 7 years later and I haven't gotten checked up again. I've gotten as far as making the appointments (with another doctor of course) but I always cancel or just not show up.

To answer the original poster's question - My MIL and my whole husband's family :mad:

x Yael x
04-14-2007, 05:56 PM
My mother and myself.