I'm with you!
I have the same feelings as you. However, I am a lot bigger than you. I used to weight around 170 which is skinny for me. I ballooned up to 260 after my divorce. Then I discovered that I have PCOS after my son was born. It seems like I can gain 10 lbs in a weekend. I feel like I am living in someone else's body. I have all of these great ideas to do, but I can't find the energy to do anything. I get winded just bending over. I have a 3 year old and I find myself not playing with him because it's to physically demanding.
I have gone to doctor after doctor to get help, but they all want to put me on more pills. I have begged for a weight loss plan and none can tell me what will work. My Endo told me to eat less than 1000 calories per day. That's almost impossible!
I have even tried to get lapband surgery, but it is restricted by my insurance company. I am desperate to be my old self and have my self esteem back. I want this not only for me, but my son. I don't want him to have "the fat mom".