Oh, ladies, do I have a funny story to tell you! My sister and I went out today- we were going to the Co Op for lunch and then swimming right after. I stopped on my way there at a pharmacy to get a few vitamins and stuff, and was looking for the vitamin E oil, when I met my soulmate.
I told my husband this, and he laughed and said "only you, Audrey, only you!"
Here's how the conversation went- now, before anyone gets upset or offended for me, please don't. I truly think this man meant it as a compliment, and no, there was nothing creepy about him. I honestly didn't know how to respond to all that he said, so of course, I laughed my butt off through most of it. Anyhow, this is what he said:
walking by me, he did a double take, turns around and comes over to me and says: "hello, lovely lady, and how are you today?"
Me: "I am great, thank you, how about you?"
Him- "Well, I was having a rough day until I met you- you are one lovely and beautiful looking women!"
Me: *laughing and smiling* "thank you!"
Him- he gently grabs my arm, stares into my eyes and says- "no, I mean it. You know, I am Puerto Rican, full blooded. I am a "Puerto Rican man's man", do you know what that means?"
Me: puzzled, I said, "No"
Him- he says- "promise me you won't get mad, as this is meant as a true compliment, not an insult."
Me: "okay, sure?"
Him- "A "Puerto Rican mans man" all love their women just like their bank accounts, fat and stuffed."
Me- (thank God I had just peed in the ladies room just before this conversation)- I burst out laughing. I didn't have any reply, I just laughed.
Him- "No, I mean it, you are truly beautiful and you are a lovely lovely lady. If I was younger and you were single, I would ask you out right this second, but you're way too young for me."
Me: "why, thank you. I am happily married and I am not much younger than you."
Him-"no, seriously, you are far too young for me. But you are quite lovely, and your husband is a very lucky man."
Me- laughing- "Not sure how old you think I am, but I just turned 50 back in January."
Him- *shocked look on his face* (I get this a lot, had one person last year tell me they thought I was in my late 20's
) "No way. There is just no way you can be 50 years old, you look half that age."
Me- "no, it's true, I am really 50. Oh, and by the way, I am trying to lose weight and am going swimming after I leave here."
Him- "no, please, don't lose any weight, I mean it! You are beautiful and lovely just the way you are. You are perfect, don't change a thing!"
Me- *laughing again* "thank you, but working out makes me feel better. Speaking of which, I must go now. Have a great day!"
Him- "thank you, but please, you truly are perfect the way you are. Don't change a thing, and have a great day."
About a minute later, I was in the allergy medication aisle when this lady clerk, who heard the entire conversation, said to me: "WOW!!!!! He is absolutely smitten with you!!!! Do you know how many women try to get his attention, they practically fall all over him, trying to get him to notice them, and while he is very nice to them, he's never shown any of them any interest! He is such a sweet and lovable guy, and you're the only women I have ever heard him talk to with such adoration in his eyes!"
I told her, to pass on my advice to all those poor women who have been trying to get his attention and a date with him- "tell them all I said to gain a 150 pounds- he'll notice them then!" and I started to laugh.
She says to me- "no, seriously, we have a lot of women that come in here when he does to fill his prescriptions, some heavy, some small, etc, but you are the first women to capture his attention, ever. There's something special about you to him- he really adores you!"
I should say, they all knew him by name at the pharmacy and they all like him very much. I guess I got a compliment today, perhaps backhanded, but none the less, complimented.
So ladies, if you know of any single heavy weights like myself looking for an adoring and loving soul mate, just tell them to head to Puerto Rico to find a man's man who will love and adore them whole heartedly- just don't lose any weight, as they want us stuffed and fat like their bank accounts.
Edit- by the way, I put myself through such a heavy workout- I kicked butt today, literally at the pool. Also, at the Co Op, I had two plates full of veggies, very little dressing, a small chicken breast and about four pieces of beef with sparkling water as my beverage. If that conversation did anything for me, it made me all the more determined to lose this weight!