Bumping because I really needed the inspiration today. I've been stalled out for months, just barely seeing movement now and it's slowed down to a crawl. It's taking everything I have to stick with it. My weight graph looks like a heart monitor reading... up down, up down, up down.... my "progress predictor" says if the next 30 days turn out like the last 30 days, I will be up one pound by June 15th.... Long haul indeed. Add it to the brand new PMS symptoms weight loss has blessed me with, and I'm a mess today.
I have to keep going though. this cannot be as good as my body gets.
You know, I've lost weight 3x before and now I know where I messed up. I thought it went:
Fat>Weightloss>Thin>Yay
I had no idea that maintenance was at least as important as losing, probably harder than losing, and something that would have to last forever to avoid regaining. I just never thought about it until I joined here.
This! I used to think it was so straightforward... And I recognise these stages well, as I spent years bouncing about between them! Unlike so many people here though, I never quite got a handle on making it to the losing weight and keeping it off stage. This time the journey's been very different... It went:
Go to counselling > work on general issues > gain self-confidence > accept I'll be overweight forever > try intuitive eating with nothing to lose (so to speak) > drop the first 20lbs easily > stall > break stall > 3 weeks of maintenance practice > incorporate a new habit > 1 week of losses > repeat
All I can do now is try to keep this up. If I lose more weight, more often, brilliant. But if all I can do is focus on NOT GAINING anything, I know that's what I need to do, as it's not the not losing weight fast enough thing that got me into this mess, it's the regains. I guess my slow as heck approach is to focus on maintenance and incorporate one healthy habit at a time, so that the losses take care of themselves. If I hit goal within the next 10 years I'll let you know how that works out
I seem to skip the 'mastery' stage all together - I've lost about 40 pounds now and I'm hitting my typical 40-50 pound loss mental struggle. I view 50ish pounds the same way most folks view 5 pounds - as a small, easy loss or as a gain that isn't that big of a deal. Consequently, I've lost/gained 40-50 pounds MANY times and never thought much about it. I'm eager to see at what point (if ever) I actually feel like I've done something.
I suppose I am in stage one right now. This is my very first attempt to seriously lose weight. I'm nearly six weeks in and I'm still struggling to understand what made me decide to do it (aside from being fat).
I worry that I won't be able to succeed unless I understand the why beyond something more than a vanity point.
I worry that if I do lose a bunch of weight only to regain it that I won't have the strength to do this again.
I worry that my now steely resolve with fade as soon as things get too hard.
I know there are psychological reasons as to why I gained this weight in the first place and I'm not really prepared to deal with just yet. Coming from a family of stoic Catholics...talking about our feelings was never our strong suit.
I hope that I can make it to the end of this intact and I've learned so much through everyone who took the time to post on this thread.
You know, I've lost weight 3x before and now I know where I messed up. I thought it went:
Fat>Weightloss>Thin>Yay
I had no idea that maintenance was at least as important as losing, probably harder than losing, and something that would have to last forever to avoid regaining. I just never thought about it until I joined here.
This is the secret. I wish I had realized it earlier. Whether you lose 100 or 10 lbs, the key is in keeping it off. I'm on my 4th attempt at losing 100+ lbs. I've succeeded 3 times before, and relapsed every time. This time, I'm more aware -- (Older and wiser?) I've seen a counselor, and I really believe I've worked on the reasons WHY the weight loss didn't stick in the past.
It certainly helps to keep reading here and knowing that we're all in this together!
Ubergirl..... I really like this post.. Thank you for starting it and I like and understand your stages you set up. I am earmarking this one for 2 months from now to read again. as that will be 6 months for me and I want to make sure that I am still in the right stage.
It just shows how timeless this is since it has not lost its relevance over the years!!!! Scared to be on this life raft but glad to be in it with such strong, dedicated people!
Another post I'm bookmarking. AS most people, I'm yet again at stage 1.... and as with most people, this is where I normally fall of over and over again.
Another post I'm bookmarking. AS most people, I'm yet again at stage 1.... and as with most people, this is where I normally fall of over and over again.
I've been doing a lot of thinking about the weight loss journey.
I started in June 2009 right after getting a fabulous piece of news, when I was feeling really good about myself. It seems like there are two big triggers for people-- one is "hitting rock bottom." That never worked for me. The other is feeling really terrific-- maybe losing a few pounds by accident, or falling in love, or having some good news.
Here are what I see as the stages:
1. Self-doubt: This is when you don't really believe you can succeed because you never have before. I fell off in this stage millions of times over the course of twenty years. I would lose ten or fifteen pounds, then get off track, then stop, then gain it back. After a while it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.
2. Mastery: This is after you lose maybe forty or fifty pounds-- more than you ever dreamed possible. You start to think you've got the hang of it. It seems almost effortless. You wonder why you never did this before.
3. Super-confidence: You've been on a roll for months and months now. You feel like an expert. You are one hundred per cent positive you will NEVER go back. You follow your plan like a champ. You never slip up. You feel like a weight loss goddess.
4. RELAPSE: I think most of us long-termers slip up. A lot of people cope with it pretty well. Some really don't and end up with a big regain.
5. The Long Haul: This is where I am now. This is when you start to realize that your food issues will probably never go away, and that you probably will slip up from time to time, but you are going to have to learn that life at a lower weight is made up of good days and bad days and that NOBODY IS PERFECT.
The weight loss journey is full of highs and lows that have nothing to do with weight.
Talk about a way to really and truly get to know yourself. This is it!
One of the best posts I have ever read on any forum about any subject ! Something like 99 % of people that lose some significant weight like 30-50 lbs or even 70-125 lbs gain it back in a few years plus another 10-20 "bonus"pounds, it really is a never ending battle ! Being fat sure sucks !
You definitely nailed the stages. I'm just coming out of a bad relapse. I lost 115-120lbs between 2012 and 2013 and felt like a genius superstar. It never occurred to me that I would allow myself to gain the weight back but here I am after a failed engagement feeling lower than ever and weighing more than before. What can I do but learn some lessons from last time and try again? I'm 3 months in and 35lbs lighter but I know that issues with food won't be cured as the weight comes off. I will never be normal around food. I am an emotional eater and I have to maintain a constant vigilance. I've seen the weight come back with crazy speed and ease.
I do believe that this time will be better...not perfect just better.
Last edited by ChickieBoom; 05-31-2019 at 08:33 PM.
