Oh, jeez, here I am again. I have been eating everything I can get my hands on for weeks now. I don't want to stop, but I know I have to, I need to stop.
My life has been so unsettled in so many ways, for so long. I don't feel that I have the energy to take on the eating thing again. My oldest daughter is going to the hospital for surgery on Monday (surgery #6 related to a failed roux-en-Y bypass which has been nothing but a tragedy for her). I will need to stand by her, help with her household and her children. I don't even have time for my own situation, and just feel so absolutely overwhelmed and unhappy.
I'm going to try to get myself to an online OA meeting tonight. Thought I'd reach out here, though, because I really need someone to say something to me that makes its way through the fog I'm living in.
Try reading "conquer your food addiction" by Caryl Elrich - that book CHANGED MY LIFE. I didn't follow the suggested diet plan she threw in there- but it was all about the mindset and behavioral aspect of over-eating and I so identified with it. I only paid a few $'s for it on amazon.com.
I'm sorry for all your are going through- maybe for now concentrate on not binging and over-eating rather than being perfectly "on-plan" or getting in exercise. Also- take some vitamins if you aren't (I know it sounds lame but vitamins really do help)- just a simple multi-vitamin- if you don't like pills get the chocolate chews by viactiv.
I'm so sorry you are going through a difficult time right now. Perhaps you could make a meal plan for the day. Even if it is very generous, just sticking to what you planned may help you feel more in control of your eating.
I hope your daughter recovers soon and you are feeling better soon too!
I am an old timer in OA but really a newbie right now. I haven't been to an OA meeting in serveral years, actually we no longer have a group in my hometown. I just can't seem to get out of the insanity of starting a diet and breaking the diet. The guilt and shame are awful. I have two best friends who have lost weight and that just adds to my feelings of failure. I keep trying to start a diet and then just can't seem to do. I know that I am using food to deal with stress. I have no energy and feel bad most of the time. I am ready to start over with OA, to stop the insanity, to stop dieting, to stop binging, Today, my abstinence is NO SUGAR... I have to get off the sugar to which I am addicted. Then I can look at other things. I am searching for some online help and just found this site. Thanks for being here.
Welcome Carole! I can totally relate to your post. I have several friends who have had the band surgery and have lost all of their extra weight. It's killing me seeing them look so good. (If my insurance covered it, I would so do it.) I also have a family member that has been overweight her whole life and now she has lost 40 lbs. She is working hard and I'm so proud of her. But, honestly, really jealous too!
I am giving myself credit for finishing my fourth step. It was intense and I was very honest but I have finished it. However, I am in complete relapse. Grabbing everything I can find and eating it. I have not been catching meetings or woking the program. I know what I need to do. I am a teacher and when school starts it seems impossible to take care of myself. I am setting the day after labor day as my restart date.
I have had 7 days of abstinence and I am grateful to OA and all of you that take time to share your ES&H. I am relying more on God and not eating over the stress in my job. I had lunch with friends today and it was so enjoyable because the conversation didn't focus on what everyone was eating, how much weight lost (not with OA program), how many carbs are in everything. Or maybe since I have experienced a little success with abstience I didn't notice as much.
No sugar, sugar is addictive, a poison. Repel from it as if it were a flame.
Turning my will and my life and my food over to God one day at a time.
Jane, this means a lot to me. I've just a rather minor cardiac scare and the doctor left me saying, "You MUST make AGGRESSIVE lifestyle changes in food and exercise." This brought me to tears as I thought, Dear God. I've faced this a thousand times and not been able to make it work. I can't count the number of diets or rounds of exercise and I have about a 6-month window in which that works before I'm back to my old ways. I have to figure this out. I have to.
I recently underwent back surgery that will take months of rehab to get
where I was. My mama came to help me. She has always controlled her weight. Anyway, she was working her butt off. I talked to her about it and she said she looked at it like exercise or free medicine. Maybe that is the ticket. I am looking at it wrong. Euclides said, "Do not consider painful what is good for you." Now I need to go out and live it.
Please help...
exercise attitude
