Hi! So many, many things bother me about being overweight and I dream of the day when I can do certain things and not have to worry about other things..
Know what I mean?
Things that bother me:
1. Summertime, not being able to wear those skimpy halter tops and short shorts so I can keep cool
2. Summertime - bathing suits
3. Aches and Pains, especially my knees and my back
4. Not being comfortable in bed because some body part is always getting smushed the wrong way or some limb has it's circulation cut off ...etc..etc...
5. not being able to run
6. Airplane seats are a bit too tight
7. My car's seat belt chokes me
8. My asthma acts up
9. Dating is out of the question
10. My butt is just plain too BIG
Things I can't wait for when I lose!!
1. A little black leather skirt
2. Shopping in regular stores!!
3. Bra's that fit!! ( The boobs are so heavy now that they sneak out under the bottom of the bra's )
4. Running!
5. Feeling healthy
6. Dating
7. Not being stared at
8. JEANS!
everything on your list! Yes! Yes! Yes and I am tired of running past mirrors. I want to stand naked in front of a mirror and not be afraid of what I'll see.
Maybe we could think toward a date in the future - when we'll have lost at least some or more of the weight we want to. We'll do on a night out on the town together in our new short skirts! and we'll toast our success and flirt like crazy!
When I lose the weight, I will stand naked in front of the mirror, lift up my breasts with my hands to see how they'll look after a breast lift and say hello to the new me.
I want to look in a mirror and recognize myself. I still can't believe it when I catch a glimpse of this big fat woman! It's just not me!!
I HAVE started running again, which makes me VERY happy! But I'd like to run without my butt bouncing.
And I'd like to fit into... not a skimpy bathing suit, but one of those sets with a sports bra and shorts. Black. I'd have no rolls on my back (not to mention my butt and stomach!), and I'd look so cool.
I'd like to see my cheekbones again.
I'd like for my feet to stop hurting because I'm so heavy.
YES!!! Jeans that do not have elastic at the waist!! And bras that i am REALLY in, instead of coming out of at all sides. Being able to breath better. Going on hikes with my family. Getting my pointy chin back instead of having a round head!!!
Oh, and one more thing... I'm constantly "apologizing" for my weight to other people.... "I'll not usually this fat... I've put on some weight lately... but I'm in the process of taking it off."
As if it's any of their business! As if they care!!
I want to just be happy in myself.
I want to be able to keep up with my kids while chasing them on the play ground. I want to stop snoring, as much. I would like to shop at any store. I want to go to an outside summer concert in a bathingsuit. I was not to be out of breath during outside activities. I don't want to be preoccupied with food, calories and the next meal. I want to wear all kinds of jewelry. I would like to go and do my makeup at a makeup counter and not feel self conscience. I would like jeans to be confortable again. I want to wear bikinis again. I want to be able to wash all my whites in one load instead of several. 2x's take up lots of room! I want to get piggy back rides and get family photos I am proud of. I want to be the best I can be....
I'd like to be able to fit into all the cute clothes in my closet without sausaging out over the tops and out the bottoms. And to be able to buy more cute clothes without getting depressed that it's hard to find clothes that fit my personality in my current size.
And also, to not have to wear those nasty tummy-flattening, butt-shaping, waist-creating undergarments that make you look nicer in clothes, but then you have to run into the bathroom and take them off and hide them under the sink so that your S.O. doesn't catch you in giant flesh-colored granny panties.
I want to wear all the cute little bras from when I was a 34B and tuck in my shirts and use a belt without feeling like I am being tortured!
I want to have that oval face I used to have, not this round one. I saw an old photo the other day and I was amazed - I used to have an oval face! Where'd it go? (Oh, wait, I know - don't tell me...)
I want a waist size in the 20's again.
I want to relax when someone whips out a camera or a camcorder (boy I hate that when someone takes one out nowadays!). I want to not cringe when I see myself in a store camera (yuck!).
I want to fit into my wedding dress again - even though it has huge awful puffed sleeves, I just want to do it.
I want to weigh less than DH, and be able to sit on his lap without worrying that I am going to give him a hernia. I would like to be thin enough for him to offer (he hasn't in about 15 years!)
I want a flat stomach - I mean, FLAT! And no rolls sticking out at the sides that show when I put on a non-baggy T shirt.
And a chiselled jawline, so I can wear high turtlenecks or my hair in a ponytail without looking - well, like I look now when I try it in front of the mirror!
I hate...[list=1][*]Not being able to comfortably lean over to tie my shoes.[*]That I rub the inside of my thighs raw when I walk too much in a skirt/shorts.[*]That all my clothes are just little bit too tight, so I'm never very comfortable unless I wear HUGE stuff.[*]That I HATE going clothes shopping because everything I like either doesn't come in my size, or looks awful on me.[*]That I avoid going to the doctor because I hate being weighed in any "public" setting.[*]That I avoid seeing old friends/family, or going out, because I'm embarassed by my weight.[/list=1]
I can't wait...[list=1][*]To buy a pair of boots that come up to my knees![*]To wear sleeveless shirts and look good![*]Ok... to wear ANYTHING and look good, lol.[*]To walk into a store and not head for the X-Lg section![*]To have fun when I go out boating with my family, to be able to get UP on the skis/wakeboard/kneeboard/etc. and not be constantly trying to cover myself up in a bathing suit![*]To wake up feeling good, healthy and strong - and know that I'll continue that way all day!![/list=1]
Ohhhh those are good ones! I definitely would love to be able to get piggy back rides, or sit on someone's lap...... I want to feel "womanly" with womanly curves...a small waist..... Thin fingers, slim, sculptured calves and thighs...
I'd love to be able to wear nice jewelry and have it look nice on me.. Or just be able to wrap a towel around me when I get out of the shower... (don't have one big enough)
Lunula, I can definitey relate to the friends and family thing too.. I lost soo much weight about three years ago and they were so happy for me, but now I'm back in the 200's and when they see me.. I know what they're thinking..Such disappointment in me.. It's hard.
I know this shouldn't bother me, but I hate it when people ask loudly and bluntly "My Goodness! Are you losing weight!!??"
I know people mean well and it's meant to be a compliment, but I feel like my weight issues are a personal matter and I don't want to talk to everyone about it (Mostly at work.. I hate when someone draws attention to me at work by blurting out "Look at her, doesn't she look good!? She's losing weight")
It's like, you don't want peope to notice you're fat in the first place and they don't say anything to you about how big you are until you start losing weight, then they figure it's ok to talk about how fat you are or were.
And if you lose weight then gain it back, they stop talking about how you look again and just start staring ... again.
I remember when I lost all of that weight, my co-workers included me in everything..Every happy hour, every party, they even used to come to my house to play spades. Then when I started to gain it back, I was slowly being kicked out of the clique.. I'd come to work on Monday and they would be talking about how they had so much fun the previous Friday when they went to the city for a comedy show, or met at so-and-so's house to play cards....Of course, I wasn't invited..