I'm kind of worried about this as well... I think the only thing we really CAN do is make new goals. Otherwise it's kind of like, "So what?"
Your body isn't changing anymore, the compliments have died off, and people now take you being thin for granted. It's no longer something of praise, it's just normal. So now what?
I think that's why we NEED other goals. We're not going to have the compliments forever, and without them we lose our sense of purpose. Do I REALLY need to exercise today? Do I REALLY need to not eat that piece of cake?
Once you hit maintenance you don't have that changing scale number for motivation to keep up your willpower, which is why fitness goals probably become so crucial. I plan to start training for a 5K or something myself, once I reach goal.
THIS IS the thread for me today to get over my fear of failure. Thanks, ladies! Kudos to you!
10 years ago I lost sooo much weight so quickly I could have been a model, but guilt and boredom and depression ruined my ability to hold on to my size 4 lightness. My life was a stay at home Mom of two little ones, so I couldn't really see why I needed to stay thin at such a cost. Even my MD was telling me I was ridiculous to try to stay thin. I lost all my friends and felt like I'd only gained envious looks.
At home, I was having temper tantrums like a hollywood diva! And I threw out my back so I couldn't exercise!
Looking back, I should have addressed my obvious depression with a visit to a psychiatrist. Depression certainly is a reason people overeat (self-medicate) and then diet! If I couldn't afford medicine and psychiatric support to fine tune it (I highly recommend a psychiatrist, not the family MD), then I'd go for EXERCISE. What I've learned is that exercise alone doesn't help with the scale (I actually gain weight, muscle mass, with exercise) but Exercise addresses our emotional battles because it gives us an outlet for pent up emotions. Goals in exercising as far as fitness or strength are fine but they are not necessary to benefit from a good workout. Anticipating ritual exercise to release frustration and break a bad mood is so helpful. Even at goal weight, the human body craves stimulation through effort. And exercise works our core muscles, which definitely affect our appetite and desire for food. Improving our contentment with our new bodies and less craving may counter the let down, I hope!
Another suggestion is to seek out new friends who are thin. Again, the shortest route is through a class such as yoga, or ballet class for adults. That way we find we are not alone and motivation to stay thin. Letting yourself perform in public helps too, another motivation to be at your physical best!
This is definitely my problem -- I'm approaching goal and I still hate the way my body looks... maybe it's because I lost it all by dieting and not exercising more (always my problem), but I feel like I've just traded "fat" for "skinny-fat"... haha... and the last thing I want is to end up looking like Amy Winehouse (!). But knowing that my body won't be an "ideal" but just *my body* at any weight has been an important realization for me. I have to love who I am already. And get on those ellipticals.
Weight was just the first goal for me. Becoming the healthiest and fittest person I can be is a never ending goal. I mixup my diet every 3 or 4 months. I never stop looking for healthy foods/recipes. I do the same in the gym. Strength and flexibility are life long commitments as well as goals.
Weight loss was about implementing new diet and exercise habits. Maintaining is about building on and reenforcing those habits until they are entirely unconcious to you. After several years of this work, I can't imagine going back to my old eating habits. Those just aren't part of my brain anymore.
I don't believe mine is post goal blues since I still have more goals to reach but it is unbelievable how people now treat me. My so called closest friends say horrible things to me. ie Did you go all anorexic on us? I have been called a "santimonious ****" because I serve healthy snacks and veggies at get togethers. At a cook out we had this summer, a couple of girls came up to me and stated "We have started the we hate Jenni club hahahah".
I have battled weight my entire adult life. I finally have after all these many years, adjusted my lifestyle. Food doesn't rule me, it is only my fuel. I love excercising and going to the gym. I am no longer hypertensive and I no longer have heart disease. I also quit a 3 pack a day smoking habit. I am a completely new person and people around me can't accept it. (That is the feeling I get) No one in my life has ever seen me like this. I have never been this healthy or trim ever. (5'8" 152lb and a size 8) So I feel like a stranger in my own life.
I did this all on my own. No support from anyone. All I get are snide remarks from friends, my family, especially my husband. Sabatouers abound. How do you find new friends at this stage of life?
We hadn't seen my husbands family in about 6-7months. We arrived at a family wedding and not one women on my husbands side would even speak to me. I tried to make conversation, but people actually got up and walked away. I have known these women for over 20 years. We are family and love each other. I couldn't understand what was happening. Men are the only ones who will talk to me. Which of course just pisses off my husband and then he hurls insults at me as if it is my fault.
This was a lifestyle change for me. I simply wanted to get healthy. To be able to get on the floor with my grandbabies. To breathe. Yet all the people around me are horrible. I cry all the time.
The sad joke of it all, is if I went even a bit back to the old me, pehaps gained 20lbs, the snide remarks would be even worse. "Slipping up are you? What about eating healthy?"
I sometimes laugh at the thought that if I had gone on biggest loser,or some other public outlet, I would have had support. I really don't know where to turn. I went on antidepressents several months ago, which have helped but the new me needs a new life.
I have never, ever shoved my lifestyle at others. When asked "how did you do it?" I tell them. But of course, they, like me previously, wanted it to be the quick fix answer.
Any help anyone can give me would be appreciated. Words of wisdom. Has anyone else experienced this? Lori Bell, I too will scream if one more person says I should put on a few more pounds.
Aw, Jenni, that's really sad the way they're acting. It's not right. In the end, you have to decide what you want your life to be, and make it happen. Sometimes it just doesn't happen any other way. I hear you on finding new friends, it's hard. Congratulations on all your success!
Its weird that sometimes we feel a let-down or "what now?" feeling after meeting our goals. To avoid this, I usually make sure to seize the day so that I've lived well and enjoyed the journey, enough to enjoy the fruit of my sacrifices.
Lori,
I just recently met my Christmas goal and I am trying to decide if I want to go lower or not...... but I can relate to the "you are too skinny" remarks. I am a tall/big girl and I would not look right at 150 or so..... but I think I could pull off 175, so I am pondering it..... but the point is that is MY business. Now, if you looked like an emaciated dog (?) it would kinda be other's business. But from your photos I cannot tell that you look unhealthy; in fact you look very healthy. Could it be that most of them are jealous b/c like what was posted before..... you HAVE accomplished the impossible in WL. I mean who loses 160 pounds without surgery(I am not putting surgery down, it is a personal choice)...... well you did and a FEW people from here do, but most do not. YOU used your farming work ethic, dug you heels in and took off with it! You are awesome. Maybe some affirmations telling yourself how strong willed, and totally awesome you are would help.
Now, back to the post about goals. I can see this in myself too. A bet that my 15 year old son made me started my WL journey...... and over the past year I have found that I am very goal oriented...... to the point that others say I am obsessed..... but I have learned from the many wise women here.... you have to be "obsessed" about this b/c it is worth it.
I agree with Idealmuse..... maybe you could start training for a 5K or something like that. I plan to do at least one. It will help me focus on eating properly and getting my exercise in.
I know that you are a strong woman and you will figure this out. I wish you the best. Remember you have a lot of people on here who truly look up to you. Don't let this ruin your Christmas! Just think..... this is the first New Year in a long time that you don't have to resolve to "lose" weight....... that is an awesome thought- huh?
Last edited by ladyrider72472; 12-13-2009 at 08:44 AM.
Reason: correction
