Tell ya what, I'll check back in a couple of years and let you know whether my idea that maintenance can become second nature is the same as a belief in the easter bunny, tooth fairy, or santa....
For me, I can tell you right now. After 20 months of maintenance, I'm happy to say that maintenance has become second nature to me. Luckily, calorie counting has become second nature to me as well, though that occured long before I hit maintenance.
I think this is a very interesting thread, because it does highlight the differences between us, and that is valuable. People who are new to the lifestyle change need to know that there is more than one way to do it, and if one way doesn't work, another one might. I think it is also worth pointing out, having been through some major life changes since I started my journey, that what works at first may not work later, or vice versa, since life is long and never static. Neither is weight or maintenance.
People are obviously passionate about the methods that changed their lives, and sometimes that can be a little off-putting because that passion doesn't always translate well to the Internet, and comes off as a dug-in, my way is right, nothing else works attitude, when almost none of us really think that.
I often feel like an alien here. My "after" weight is higher than many people's "before." I think a 10% weight loss that is kept off for a year is cause to celebrate even if you never approach an "ideal" weight of any sort. And yes, even for me and not just other people. I hate low-carb/high-protein diets with a passion. Don't even get me started on how damaging using an "ideal" weight for a goal weight can be. I don't do much strength training, even though I think I should. I'm willing, although not thrilled to take a month to lose 2 lbs. I weigh daily, and sometimes more often for various reasons (measuring fluid loss during a run for example). I am not afraid of Twinkies, but dread the PB Cup. I think getting my thought processes straight is by far more important than my macronutrient ratio, and I use a lot of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy techniques. I'm probably in the minority on most of these points, and can easily find counterexamples, and other opinions on almost all of them here amongst us. I also know that what works for me will not work for some other people, but it might work for others, so I post, sometimes to get support, ask for advice, but also sometimes to show that there is more than one way to do it.
So aliens, keep posting. Keep me company. Talk about what works, even if it isn't fashionable or popular. There really is more than one way to do it.
Having said all that, the biggest common thread I see here at Maintainers, and by far the most important one, is that everyone here is 100% committed to making a serious change in lifestyle, and recognizing the importance of that. Whatever that change is or those changes are. However hard it is. It may not be THE most important thing in our lives (it isn't for me), or it might, but it is way up on that list.
I'm not arguing that maintenance has to be calorie counting, or that with or without calorie counting, eventually maintenance couldn't become second nature. It's possible that your maintenance may be exactly like your weight loss, or somewhat different (or maybe even very different), but a rigid expectation of maintenance being a certain way (and especially of any alternative being "bleak") can set a person up for failure. If you expect maintenance to be easy, and find it isn't, what's your next step? Giving up or finding what you can and are willing to do?
If you believe that at your goal weight, your work is over and you can eat whatever you want, and don't have to exercise..... you're probably wrong, and if you don't learn and adapt quickly, you're going to probably gain the weight back.
However you lost your weight, if maintenance has to be similar, are you willing to do it anyway? If not, you're probably going to gain the weight back.
If maintenance has to be different than you lost it, are you willing to do that?
Often people do lose weight by an unsustainable method - maybe a liquid diet or a meal delivery service, or appetite suppressants. If so, maintenance could be completely different than their weight loss, but it still has to be effective. The odds that maintenance will mean "doing nothing," are pretty slim.
The point is that maintenance has to be.... something rather than nothing. Having no plan for maintenance is probably worse than having a plan that isn't reasonable.
Weight loss requires trial and error, and I don't see maintenance any differently. Maybe maintenance won't be like weight loss, but I need to be prepared to make it what it has to be, whatever that is.
I am enjoying this thread immensely! So much wisdom and good discussion! Count me in the "mostly whole foods" and some less healthy foods thrown in, camp.
Dark chocolate and red wine are part of my daily routine. I had to move my Jelly Belly dispenser off my desk since my recent consumption was, well
DH and I take "wine-n-dine" mini vacations several times a year.
But what has been said eloquently by others, the reason I can maintain, is because I plan for these indulgences. Maintenance isn't about "perfect" eating. It is about knowing what works for us. And, when we do go off-plan, knowing what we have to do. With the word DO being the operative one.
Some think I am crazy because I still count calories. Yet, it works for me. While I can go several days without counting and still stay on plan, giving up counting completely would be dangerous ground. I gained 10 lbs a year over 10 years by over-eating just a few calories here, and a few calories there. For me - and only for me - I need to count. It is an important piece of my maintenance puzzle.
Some think I am a scale addict because I weigh daily. Again, not weighing for years is what got me into trouble in the first place. For me, that scale is another important piece in the maintenance puzzle.
Some think I am obsessed with exercise because I can't go more than a day without it. For me, my body needs exercise to stay strong and healthy. It is an important piece of my life at 51. Use it or lose it seems to apply when you get past 50. So, exercise is another important piece in my maintenance puzzle.
Some think I am crazy when I talk about yoga, or meditation, or prayer, or daily balance. I work hard at balance. Not balancing my life got me into trouble with stress and mindless eating. So, for me - balance is an important piece of my maintenance puzzle.
DH is wondering why I am typing at 11;30 p.m. instead of sleeping. Community is an important piece of my maintenance puzzle.
My maintenance puzzle looks different from everyone else's here. Are there pieces that look similar? Yes. In fact, some of my pieces might be interchangeable with some of yours. But, no two puzzles look exactly the same.
Last edited by CountingDown; 03-04-2009 at 11:31 PM.
Honestly, I can't say if maintenance has become a second nature for me yet. But some things pertaining to maintenance do, so I guess this at least is possible. (Examples include how I now plan all my meals around a fruit or a vegetable, instead of around a starch; or how I think twice before eating some junk food, realizing that 9 out of 10 times, I actually don't really want it, and therefore feel it's not hard at all to 'resist'.)
I don't really count calories, I only make sure to weigh certain foods, like pasta and rice. But my case might be a little peculiar, in that counting sent me through obssessing, and so I'm not too eager to go that road again. I know for sure that counting DOES work for many people here. So, indeed, whatever works for us, trial & error, to each their own, and all that.
I've been maintaining my (relatively small) weight loss now for just about five years. I don't always log my food, but I eat pretty much the same things I did when I was dieting, just more of it. I find it helpful to have a goal at all times such as being able to do more pullups/pushups, etc. After so many years, I do still occasionally indulge, but it generally makes me ill at some point later so I know better than to pig out! I follow a modified BFL/Precision Nutrition type diet with 5-6 small meals and I do one high calorie day each week.
I don't weigh in very often but enough to keep me on track, probably about twice a month. As I said, I pretty much eat and do the same things each day so there's no need in my case for daily weights.
I lost < 50 lbs so YMMV with much more impressive weight losses.
RRobin, that's the real unkindness for ex-obese people - we HAVE to eat, something.
Alcoholics Can avoid alcohol, and survive.
Drug addicts Can avoid drugs, and survive.
and no, I'm not belittling the effort that takes.
Diabetics Can avoid sugar, and survive.
The ex-obese Can't avoid food and survive. Which is why I know that When I get to maintenance, I'm going to have to be as focussed, even rigid, as my weightloss programme currently is. No disrespect to those who do it differently but I have discovered that I just cannot be trusted round food.
Absolutely - we HAVE to eat. Going without food is of course not an otion.
But - and here's the thing - we don't HAVE to eat fried food to survive. Or fast food or ice cream or cookies. And we don't HAVE to overeat.
And we CAN set up strategies and continue to implement them to avoid overeating and eating the "wrong" foods. We can continue to set ourselves up for success - by calorie counting, saying "no" to many items, rules to abide by, planning ahead, exercise, frequent weighing, etc. Just like the alcoholic continues to go to AA meetings and avoids bars. He's continuing to set himself up for success, because he knows what got him to stop drink still needs to be practiced. Once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic. Just a recovering one. Not a cured one. He wants to insure his sobriety.
Setting yourself up for success. It makes perfect sense, to me that is.
No disrespect to those who do it differently but I have discovered that I just cannot be trusted round food.
You know, I used to think I couldn't either. But after years of maintenance, I found out I actually *can* be trusted around certain foods. Take chocolate, for example. I never ate it when I was losing, and when I started maintaining I started eating it again because to me life without chocolate is just too sad. So since I'd never learned moderation before, what happened was I'd go days without chocolate, then I'd binge on it, then I'd go days again without it, then binge, repeat, repeat, repeat. Then one day I got tired of it. I thought I had to *learn* moderation. I started buying large chocolate bars and having them in the house at all times. It wasn't easy in the beginning. I binged many times (and I still do sometimes). But now, after... I don't know, 6 years or so, I'm happy to say chocolate is not the enemy anymore. I got *used* to having it in the house. There are still foods I'd rather not buy (like certain kinds of cookies), but overall I'd say I've developed a healthier relationship with food. Again, it might not work for everyone, but it did work for me. If somebody had told me 15 years ago that I'd be able to have chocolate bars in the house and not eat them all in one sitting I'd have laughed.
ClaraBr - That isn't so foreign to the maintainers. I figure we're about 50-50 split on "I have some junk but count my calories" and "I eat clean almost all of the time" folks here. No need to lurk!
For what it's worth, I count calories with mostly whole foods, and some junk thrown in. It's a good balance for me.
I must be reading the wrong posts then, because I honestly had the impression that the majority here was eating super clean! (of course I don't usually read the daily accountability threads, so what do I know?). Anyway, I'm gonna start paying more attention!
