This is going to be tricky to word without me sounding like a judgemental shallow jerk, so bear with me, lol.
When I was at my highest weight, I was so self-conscious that it was disabling. Even though I wasn't even that relatively huge, I felt like a whale. I was completely withdrawn from others because I didn't want to subject them to my ugliness, lol. I looked around me and saw beautiful people all around me. Every single girl looked model thin. They all had perfect legs, perfect abs, perfect skinny mini bodies that looked perfect in every outfit. If one of these girls said they need to lose weight or complained about their chubby thighs, I'd feel angry. They had perfect bodies, what more could they want!
Well now that I'm smaller and not nearly so self conscious (still a work in progress), I'm realizing that other people don't have perfect bodies either. I'm no longer a gorilla in a crowd of Victoria Secret models. I'm a normal person among normal people. I notice that a girl has large thighs or a belly or thick ankles or something. And that's the part that sounds shallow and judgemental, but I still think these girls are beautiful women, but I just have a new perspective that allows me to see that they have flaws too. I NEVER used to see poochy tummies, thick thighs, etc.
It's not like I'm walking around thinking "ew, look at how fat her stomach is" or anything of the sort. But I'm no longer thinking "I'm so gigantic and all these girls are perfect." I just see normal people that might not necessarily have magazine-perfect bodies...they have their own flaws and their own attractive features.
I hope that makes sense and doesn't come across as too vain, lol. Anybody else notice something like this?
I can kinda understand what you mean. I also notice people's flaws because to me it makes them seem real (if that makes sense) NOBODY is perfect and never will be. Even the celebrities that get work done still have flaws.
I just think that people need to own what they DO have. You have a nice butt.. flaunt it. You have pretty hair.. show it off! Does that make sense? I am trying not to hide behind the things I hate - Such as my thighs and fat arms. But make my hair look nice and wear clothes that show off my curves. I may still have a ways to go, but I don't need to hide in a potato sack.
That makes perfect sense! I also used to feel much the same way you do. I'm not anywhere near the end of my weight loss journey, but I'm already beginning to adjust and reevaluate and see normal people more normally.
It makes sense, but I still feel like I'm bigger than everyone else, when I know that I'm average. When I'm at the beach, no matter how thin I am...I will always have the fat thighs that giggle no matter how toned I am. I will always find girls that have incredible bodies that I'm working my butt off to get.
A litttttle off topic, but now that you've lost weight, have you noticed some of your heavier friends treat you differenly? I remember when I had lost a ton of weight before, my bigger friends suddenly got more whiney and *****y with me about their weight as if I then made them more insecure. Has this happened at all with you or are your friends more supportive?
shortandfluffy I absolutely don't think that ANYbody should hide behind a potato sack! I wish that I could have felt that any part of my body was flaunt-worthy at my highest weight. Every single person has beautiful features no matter what size they are, and you're right, they should be happy to play them up.
StuffedBunny, I was the largest in my close circle of friends, so I suffered from the-fat-friend syndrome. Now I'm the exact same size, if not smaller than them. In fact, I'm 20lbs lighter than my best friend, but she also's also much taller than me, so we have similar body types now. I only have one overweight friend, and I we became friends while I was in the process of losing weight and she's also losing weight. So we kind of share that together. But, I will say that with her, I used to be able to whine openly about "ugh, I'm having such a fat day" or something and she'd totally understand. Now that I'm much thinner, if I whine about that, she's a bit snappier about "you're already thin, you don't need to lose more weight!"
I was kidding about the potato sack.. haha. But you get my drift. I have noticed flaws in people.. but I also notice the beauty. I even commented to my DH one day about how you can always find something beautiful about a person. Their eyes, smile, the way they laugh...
I have a cousin that is about my size. She knew I was trying to lose weight and actually TRYING, but she doesn't do anything to try. But when I talked about what size I was in, she always wants to one-up me.. either say she is a size smaller and how much less she weighs. It may be true, but gees.. just be happy for me!
I always thought true beauty exists in some type of "flaw" that becomes a unique feature. When I hear you mention that some of these 'normal girls' have a tummy, I am reminded of the scene in Pulp Fiction where one character who is very thin wishes more than anything that she had a 'pot belly'.
I know what you mean. What's funny for me is that I've lost 30 pounds entirely this semester, so it's weird to see how my perceptions of these girls have changed from the end of January till now. I saw everyone as smaller than me then, and now I guess I see that they all aren't as perfect as I thought? Not that they're all fat ugly whales, but like you said, I noticed one girl is actually freakishly skinny, and another one that is really pretty actually has big thighs. But I see that like you said, they're not all VS models like I'd previously perceived them as.
And also, I don't want this to come out wrong.... I've noticed that people seem bigger to me now than they did before. I'm not coming from a judgmental place with that, but I used to see my best friend as tiiiny. When she complained about her thighs or arms or love handles, I literally could not see it.
Now that I'm smaller, I really do see it. I see this sort of thing in other people, too. I think that before I used to see people as either skinny or fat. I thought that if one was skinny, she was skinny everywhere and there was no variation. I really perceived people this way. Now I can actually tell whether one person is skinnier than another, or if one person has a pouchier belly or thicker thighs. It's really bizarre. Again, I want to make sure that I reiterate that I don't look at people and judge them on this, it's just that I notice now.
I think it has to do with knowing that I'm an average size, but I can still see how much I have to lose in certain places. Other thinnish people must be like this, too.
I understand what you are saying completely, now that I am not so harsh on myself about my body flaws, I see them as just an imperfection and I can look at others and notice that I am not the ONLY one in the world with those flaws.
And it makes me feel almost ... normal again.
Last edited by totsandfries; 05-04-2010 at 03:37 PM.
I always thought true beauty exists in some type of "flaw" that becomes a unique feature. When I hear you mention that some of these 'normal girls' have a tummy, I am reminded of the scene in Pulp Fiction where one character who is very thin wishes more than anything that she had a 'pot belly'.
I can understand where everyone is coming from....In high school I only weighed about 130 and was in shape I saw other girls and I wasnt jealous of them but (as bad as this is) made me feel better to mentally tear there bodies apart and pick what I didnt and did like about there looks..Over the past 3 years I have put on about 40 pounds and I feel huge I feel like all those girls I use to mentally tear apart where now all beautiful and perfect and it was me who was the huge ugly cow.............I am just now getting back to where I see that everyone has flaws and everyone has something about them that is equally amazing...
this has completely happened to me! before i lost weight everyone girl I saw was fit or skinny. i guess I just didn't even notice the girls that were bigger. but now that I've lost a significant amount of weight and feel more comfortable I am noticing the bigger girls more, even more than the fits one.
I'm starting to judge too :-/
I was at the supermarket and this really overweight woman was unloading her groceries and when she was done she pulled out this container of chocolate covered something, got into her car and started to eat it!
Granted, I have no room to judge, but it's choices like that make me think bad thoughts.
New perspective on OTHER peoples' bodies
