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I want to stay fat because... (Part Two, the serious version)

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Old 01-09-2006, 11:14 AM   #1
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Default I want to stay fat because... (Part Two, the serious version)

I enjoyed the previous tongue-in-cheek thread so much (I Want To Stay Fat Because....) that I posted a link to it on my blog. One of my friends said something about it that really hit home, though. She said that she had some serious reasons she wanted to stay fat, and that although she was trying to work on them, they were still there. It made me think a lot.

So here is a more serious version of the game. Think about it.

---------------

I want to stay fat because...

I feel safe and secure behind the layer of blubber. No one has to notice me when all they can see is fat.

I am used to the idea of being obese. I am scared of having to re-learn what it is like to be thin.

While I do not think fat is sexy, I'm used to it and so is my husband. The thought of sagging skin grosses me out.

My husband is secure with me at this weight, even though he's extremely supportive of my weight-loss efforts and wants me to be healthy. I do not want him to feel threatened by a trimmer wife who might attract unwanted attention from other males.

I do not want to have to watch everything I eat and think about exercise every day for the rest of my life. If I just go on with my life, nothing will change, but it's much easier.
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Old 01-09-2006, 11:33 AM   #2
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I want to stay fat because:

--I have NEVER been thin, and it scares me.

--I am afraid being thin won't solve all of my problems in life.

--I'm lazy.
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Old 01-09-2006, 11:58 AM   #3
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excellent thread!

but the sad part.. and sometimes I wonder if THIS is holding me back.

I know there must be a reason I want to stay fat.. or else I would have changed this years ago. But - I have no idea. I remember watching Dr. Phil.. him always asking.. so what's your payoff? I have no payoff at this size!

Sure, I understand a rape victim wanting to "hide behind her fat" - but me? I just don't get it!

Anyone willing to shead some light on this would be great. Oprah has said it too - "there's more to you being fat besides eating too much - you have to dig deeper" - or she said something like that.

This question really drives me nuts!
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Old 01-09-2006, 12:09 PM   #4
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Hi
I was actually thinking about this in the shower last night. It really scares me losing weight because I will suddenly have male attention and I'm not sure how I'll cope with having choice even though I have a wonderful, supportive boyfriend I feel like he feels secure with me being overweight and it might change everything. I'm worried I'll still think I'm fat when I'm thin and it might turn into an eating disorder. I'm worried it won't solve all my problems.
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Old 01-09-2006, 12:36 PM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Charbar
excellent thread!

but the sad part.. and sometimes I wonder if THIS is holding me back.

I know there must be a reason I want to stay fat.. or else I would have changed this years ago. But - I have no idea. I remember watching Dr. Phil.. him always asking.. so what's your payoff? I have no payoff at this size!

Sure, I understand a rape victim wanting to "hide behind her fat" - but me? I just don't get it!

Anyone willing to shead some light on this would be great. Oprah has said it too - "there's more to you being fat besides eating too much - you have to dig deeper" - or she said something like that.

This question really drives me nuts!
Your 'payoff' could be something as basic as "changing and losing weight requires consistent effort, and right now I don't want to take that time away from other things in my life." So you stay fat because it's easier, and because it doesn't challenge the things you've set as priorities.

Or it could be that, as a busy person with several claims on your time, food is the way you reward/take care of yourself, and taking away food takes away the 'only' consistent pampering you give yourself.

Holding on to your weight isn't always because of some diabolical, victim-like past event.
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Old 01-09-2006, 12:52 PM   #6
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I'll miss my full, round breasts which will deflate and turn a little saggy The same thing will happen to my belly...the smooth skin on my belly will be replaced by scores of sagging skin and wrinkly stretch marks The upper arm area will sag as well

So, in short, sagging skin is the only thing that worries me about losing a lot of weight.
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Old 01-09-2006, 01:08 PM   #7
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Much like Jen and Heva said, I was always very afraid of losing weight because it might not solve all my problems. I have been overweight for as long as I can remember, back to when I was about 7 years old, I think. In school, I complained that the boys and the popular girls didn't like me because I was fat. I complained that I didn't get a job because I was fat, so the interviewer didn't like me. I complained that I didn't get the lead in the school musical because I was too fat to fit the part. I cried myself to sleep most nights feeling sorry for myself and ashamed of what I was--I knew life would be perfect if I weighed much less.

However, had I lost the weight, I figured life would be so much better. Boys would pay attention to me, girls would see me as a friend instead of a freak, I would look good in a normal business suit, and I could play roles other than the old grandmother parts! But then I thought, my God, what if it's not true? What if I do lose the weight and look completely normal on the outside and NOTHING CHANGES?! That would mean there's SOMETHING ELSE WRONG WITH ME, and who really wants to face that reality?

I know now that that is silly. I see how much I have changed in the past 4 years. I am a completely different person, yet I am still obese. I have a good (boring, but good ) job and a boyfriend who loves me no matter how much I weigh. I live in a spacious apartment in a nice neighborhood and get along with all of my coworkers, and I'm STILL fat. I see now that it's about perception and realization, not about size. I spent YEARS being afraid to lose weight, but now I'm up to the challenge
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Old 01-09-2006, 02:04 PM   #8
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I'm still scared of losing all the weight and putting it back on again. Sometimes I wonder in my more depressed moments whether it wouldn't be better to stay fat and relatively happy than to lose it all, give myself a taste of being thin and then to disappoint myself by losing it.

I'm scared of statistics that say I'll regain and of putting myself through all this effort for no net result after a few years.

(I battle this fear, and am winning at the moment, but it still keeps bugging me)
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Old 01-09-2006, 02:10 PM   #9
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I don't have the same hangups as many where I use my weight as a weapon against the world.
I want to stay fat because it's way easier than being healthy. I takes little to no effort on my part.

I'm also with Helen and I think the fear of failing would be a big reason to stay fat.
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Old 01-09-2006, 02:57 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ScarlettDrawl
I don't want to stay fat. Yes it is a lot easier to be fat, and saggy skin after weight loss is a slight concern. But to exchange that for health is not something I want to do. I want to be a healthy active mommy (in the future) and I can't do that where I am at now. That's my truth.
To be clear, I don't think any of us wants to STAY fat--if we did, we wouldn't be here! We're just voicing reasons as to why losing weight can be so intimidating and how scary it can be, but we are all here to face those fears
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Old 01-09-2006, 03:02 PM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by YP1
I'm scared of statistics that say I'll regain and of putting myself through all this effort for no net result after a few years.
The [few] stats I've seen* touting this are based upon studies of people who followed some sort of commercial plan. The studies show that those who do it on their own have far greater success at keeping the weight off.

*Even 3+ years after I moved here I still have unpacked boxes , but I'll see if I can dig out some of the reports I have, and post more details.
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Old 01-09-2006, 03:09 PM   #12
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i want to stay fat because the saggy skin. its just easier than haveing to keep toneing up my body which can take a LONG time. besides i give my mom something to pic on. that way i am use to her, and she wont find something else
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Old 01-09-2006, 03:09 PM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jillybean720
To be clear, I don't think any of us wants to STAY fat--if we did, we wouldn't be here! We're just voicing reasons as to why losing weight can be so intimidating and how scary it can be, but we are all here to face those fears
I wasn't implying that you do. I was saying that for every reason why losing weight can be intimidating and scary, there is a far better reason why you shouldn't let your fears get the best of you (my future children, for me!). And again, I'm not saying that anyone here does...I'm speaking for myself (as only I can do). For every reason I thought of (for myself) in answering this thread, I thought of how limited my success would be if I let those fears stop me (my honest truth as I mentioned in my earlier post). I know why we are all here, the same reason I'm here. I would not dare judge someone based on their own personal feelings and opinions.

"Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear - not absence of fear" -- Mark Twain

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Old 01-09-2006, 03:13 PM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DishyFishy
The [few] stats I've seen* touting this are based upon studies of people who followed some sort of commercial plan. The studies show that those who do it on their own have far greater success at keeping the weight off.

*Even 3+ years after I moved here I still have unpacked boxes , but I'll see if I can dig out some of the reports I have, and post more details.
No-one said the fears have to be rational
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Old 01-09-2006, 03:35 PM   #15
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I sometimes joke about putting what I've lost back on because of the saggy skin. Also, I now have my 'monthly' monthly rather than quarterly like I did when I was heavier! Grr...
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