I'm so sorry you are having such a rough time lately. I hate the feeling that when things seem to be on a downward trend it just keeps getting worse and no end is in sight. I know there is always a light at the end of the tunnel but sometimes that tunnel can be darker than dark!!
Hang in there girl, take everything in stride and know that you will be all the wiser and stronger tomarrow from making it through today. I don't even mean that as a food thing, but it relates there too.
aw, that's a lot of sadness. when I'm having rough days, i spend extra time cuddling with my dog! I may write about what I'm feeling, about memories. If I'm not feeling too internally focused, I call a friend or my brother. Maybe even write a letter to your lost loved ones, who are of course still with you. Hang in there and take good care of yourself.
I am so sorry. ((((hugs)))) I just read your other post, too, about the results. I am so glad it's not cancer and that they are keeping a close eye on you. ((((hugs)))
for me, i have been through some very hard times in the past few years. i lost identical twin daughters very late in pregnancy (both stillborn) as well as had a miscarriage...and we have also lost my 21 year old cousin (two months ago), my grandpa (two weeks ago), my husband's father, uncle, aunt, grandmother- all quite unexpectedly in the past three years...and my step-dad has stage 4 colon cancer.
so yea...a lot to deal with!
i have found that i have to use tracking my food and staying on plan as something i do automatically otherwise i will spin out of control. i have been known to go to the food- but that never solves anything and i feel worse after.
rely on the support of people here, and do something on those very hard anniversary days to remember the loved ones who have passed on.
and if you do have a bad day and eat everything in sight? well- the next day is a new day. don't starve yourself- just get back on plan and don't beat yourself up!!!!
I'm trying out a new way of handling rough days, myself, and my mantra for them has been: "Don't think."
If I don't think, if I just "do" or act, and keep moving, showing up, being where I am supposed to be, then a lot of the day takes care of itself.
It's when I think -- when I look ahead, and worry, and predict problems, or look back, and regret & rethink and second-guess -- that I start making myself feel worse & when it becomes impossible to move.
I didn't say that I don't feel. I do. (I have a father to mourn, as well. He died of stomach cancer in November 2008, so this is my hard time, too.) But I don't let it stop me from doing what I am supposed to. And then, afterward, when it's all done, I need downtime in which to give way & feel. What I call my decompression time. And food is not allowed to be a part of that.
Sometimes not thinking & just doing what you're scheduled to do that day is enough to get you through the day. Sometimes getting through the day is all you need to do. Get it over with. The day, I mean. There's a warm bed at the end of it. And then another day, which still has some potential yet, right?
I'm so sorry you're having to go through so much lately, I really feel for you (hugs).
As for getting through the rough days I don't have a lot of advice I'm afraid, I've had a few rough days this last week or so myself and not dealt with them at all well, but looking back I've learned lessons from them so I guess that's good.
One thing that I learnt a while back but have to keep reminding myself of is that overeating (or binging in my case), whilst I enjoy the food at the time, doesn't actually make me feel any better than I did beforehand, but afterwards I've just got the guilt and disgust to add to the mix.
If I can get through a rough day and stay on plan that's something I have to be proud of when I go to sleep, because I'm taking the best care of me that I can and that's something positive to come out of the day.
That is a lot of sadness (and worry, regarding the other post you linked) to experience at one time. Take my advice with a grain of salt, because I haven't experienced the type of loss you've described and I have no idea how I'd actually process it if I were in that situation.
Maybe the thing to do is realize that every year at this time, you are going to remember your father and your late husband and plan some sort of annual memorial activity? Going for a walk in a place that reminds you of them, volunteering somewhere, or taking the afternoon off from work to watch movies in your PJs. Over the years, I've had to learn to allow myself to grieve.
As other posters have said, you will get through the sad spell. You can choose to get through it on plan, or you can choose to go off plan and have to deal with a setback when you do come out of the sad spell. You're going to feel sad whether or not you go off plan.
I'm sorry for your loss. I've read a lot of your posts, and your weight loss and your story is amazing!
your dad and husband are watching over you, I'm sure about that. and I know the medical news was tough, but you have a heads up, you're on top of the situation and watching, and you've got all of your insurance ducks in a row. you handled that so well. hang in there, chica. you're a strong cookie!!
Onederchic-
You have all of the strength and courage to handle these awful life circumstances right inside you (as you already know)!! You just have to dig down deep and pull it out. I have read your story, and it's not for sissies. You have lost a lot of weight in a short amount of time which tells me that you have a lot of willpower and strength.
The way I look at it is that we are "supposed" to mourn our loved ones more at certain times, (for example, after they've been gone 1, 5, 10, 20 years, or on their birthday or at Christmas, or near a holiday when they passed). However, that is what society expects. Demands. If you know what I mean?
My Dad was born and died on the same exact day. Isn't that odd? I would imagine that it happens more than we realize, but still weird. So, of course, I always think about him on Dec. 26th. Always. But, I also think about him when I smell the horse stables (he loved horses), or when I see the big paving machines rebuilding the roads (he worked for the highway commission for more than 30 years).
You lost all of your weight after your dear Dad and Husband passed away. That means that you dredged up the spirit and commitment it took even though they were gone to get yourself healthy and feeling good. Try to remember those times at these times.
I am so sorry for the loss of both of your dear loved ones. Life really stinks sometimes, but it's the things that we do in honor of our loved ones and for ourselves that keep us strong and dedicated. Take care of yourself!
