So, yeah, ok I sit between a 16 misses to a 15 jr's. I'm tall. I am really long legged. 36" inseam. My tastes in clothes runs pretty casual, jeans, tank top, flip flops, shorts...especially in the summer. Dressy is sundresses, flip flops, ballet shoes. We're not talking high maintenance. AT ALL.
My sister in law, stars knows I love her. She's been a part of my family since my brother first married her 17 years ago and even though they divorced last year, I kept her. She lost weight after the divorce, about 220 down to 186. She's only 5'4-5. Not tall at all. And what length she does have, is all torso. She's very pale, blond and blue eyed. She has a butt and thighs and hips. I'm med complected normally, med-dark in the summer, dark red hair, brown eyes. I have no hips, butt or thighs. So, we're built dramatically different. We're very different in our colouring. It makes sense that, um, we probably won't wear ANYWHERE near the same size<length of pants/shirts> and we would probably buy things that have different tones/colouring/accents. It's ok, thats normal. Given our build differences, I wear short waisted clothing with no extra material in the butt, cus I get tired of it riding up my belly and down my butt. She buys high waisted pants, with alot of room in hips and butt.
We all know I may be the fat person in your family, social circle, whatever who has been and is losing weight. Yes, I'm dropping sizes. But, WHY WHY WHY do you feel the need to foist your clothes on me? WHYYYYY?!?! It hurts your feelings if I don't wear them/give them away, so I've started just saying, "No, thank you". I'm not talking last seasons clothes either, I'm talking stuff from the 80's, early 90's. Things I didn't wear even then. She's from Texas, I spent my youth overseas. So even our clothing influences are dramatically different. I know in her heart, she thinks she's doing me a favour? I guess. But I just spent 4 hours switching out winter/summer clothes in my closet/spare closet and most of that was HER crap. Stuff I didn't even know was in my house. I called her and she says, "Well, I knew you'd say no thanks, but I figured you might use it". So, I had to tell her, "I appreciate your thoughtfulness, but I am not your clothing graveyard. Please, do not do drive by clothing drop offs on me. I am not the goodwill, if you don't want it, I appreciate you asking me first, I do, but if I say NO, I kind of expect you to respect that". She got off the phone with her feelings hurt and mad and I don't know, but I think that just cus I'm your fat friend, sliding down the clothing scale, doesn't give ANYONE the right to just force their clothes on me.
Am I out of line? Am I insane to think I should be able to say, "no", to someone elses used clothing and have that respected? I'm really not feeling like I'm out of line, but maybe someone elses has an idea. The fact is, she said, "I knew you'd say no thanks, but I ...." WTH?!?!?!
**editing to add, I in NO way think my sister in law is thinking the fat comments etc, she is the VERY last person to say that, it's my own mental thought process, I don't consider it an insult when speaking of myself, honestly. I am fat or I wouldn't be trying to lose weight, I don't however think like this about anyone BUT myself.** WarMaiden's comment got me to thinking then I realised it could be perceived that I thought my SIL was thinking these things.