It sounds to me that you are trying to change too much in your life at one time. Borrowing from Bob Green who is on Oprah a lot: start with one change per week then add another and another, so on. He recommends starting exercising first before counting calories. I am not sure if you have been cleared to throw yourself into a lot of exercising but I would still take it gradual since injuring yourself (I have done it more than I care to admit) will set up back, which can be discouraging to a newcomer; not to athletes since they know that comes with the territory.
Your plan might look something like this:
1) week one- show up at the gym, try out some things that others suggest, if something clicks for you,make a mental note and repeat it as often as you can. Take it easy though.
2) week two- write down what you eat for the first week. Do not attempt to restrict your food intake at this point. You just want to establish the habit of accountability. Continue to exercising. Make a real point of doing that.
3) week three-now that you have a regular exercise routine established, begin to count calories, follow a specific food plan or post here for additional suggestions.
It has been said that it takes 3 weeks to break old habits and 30 days to establish a new one. If you keep this in mind, within a few months, you will whistling while you're walking and giving us advice. God bless, keep up the good work