I recommend angel's food cake, cool whip and freshly cut strawberries for Jacob's birthday cake. You CAN do this. Everyone of us who lost weight - we could have written an "excuses" list exactly like yours. Everyone of us face temptations, social events, birthdays, baby showers, friends ordering pizza, friends wanting to go out for margaritas, depression, celebrations - everything social around us that touches food.
I was recently writing to a friend and I told her the two toughest things for me were:
1. Realizing that I don't have to eat food just because it's in front of me.
2. Dealing with the social aspects of food.
On a normal day to day, when I plan meals everyday, grocery shop, pack lunches, cook dinner, food journal - I am nearly 100% onplan. I plan stuff I like, so it doesn't seem like a hardship, it is perfectly okay, I look forward to and enjoy everything I eat. It is the "surprise" food that is endlessly a challenge for me. Show up to a work meeting and they have a huge buffet table of finger foods. Go out with friends and get hit with a basket of chips and bean dip. Go to a baby shower and have to stare down a yummy frosted cake with ice cream.
It never ends, dealing with temptations, exactly as you describe in your excuse list is one of the huge challenges to successfully losing weight and keeping it off forever. Tackle each one separately, create threads and we can all offer advice/suggestions/tips to manage each event.
I really like the idea about getting 1 reason and the rest are excuses. That's pretty awesome, and REALLY true. Why on earth would I not be on plan today because of something that is happening in the future. That is just an excuse. It's also assuming that I can't do this (or won't stay on plan during the events). I think I need to start believing that I can do this.
Glory - Maybe I could have 2 cakes. A 9 x 13 real cake for the birthday boy and his dad and guests and a yummy angel food cake for me. No one will know why I have 2 - they will just think I made extra desserts.
I too am fine when left up to my normal routine, but then events and social food kill me. I have dinner with my mom every Thursday and usually that will throw me.
Sandi - I knew better than to read your post at work. Its like you were in my head only earlier this year. I am all welled up...I know how you feel!
As far as not starting today.... Only you can make that decision, but life always gets in the way. There will always be one social event or another. I have jist tried to figure out ways of dealing with them Before starting a healthier lifestyle I would have just stayed home. I don't now. Life is too short. If there is going to be desserts at an event, I bring something low cal to share. The hostess is thrilled that you are so thoughtful and you can stay OP if you so choose.
Sandy -- you are "every dieter"!!! I think we have all felt the same way. It's so difficult to look from the bottom of the hill at the battle there is to come but the alternative to me is to continue to gain and I can't do that either. I weighed on Monday exactly what I weighed the day I delivered my second son, what a jolt that was!!
So, I'm trying to learn to enjoy the "occasions" and not the food. Birthdays, parties, just hanging around the house, etc. are supposed to be about the joy you receive from the experience and mine especially is about watching my kids learn, grow and enjoy life. I'm ready to enjoy life again too. Food has never allowed that to me. It hasn't been a friend, but an enemy. It's time to put it in its place -- just like breathing, food is there to serve a purpose, to maintain our body in a healthy way, not to fill a void, comfort, etc.
Somewhere I read -- eat to live, not live to eat and I like that. I'm learning to fill the spaces that used to lead to binges with worthwhile activities that bring joy or a sense of accomplishment to me -- even if it's just playing legos for 10 minutes with my son or getting a little housework done (yuck!!)
You can do this -- there are so many people on here who have -- so we know it isn't impossible.
My daughters birthday is coming up next week. She'll be 18. We don't have a party planned, she'll probably do something with her friends later in the evening. Her birthday falls out on a Friday.
Even though she'll be going out with friends, we will still celebrate a bit here at home first. I've already baked cupcakes and froze them. Since it will only be 4 of us, and I'm not eating any, I will pull 3 cupcakes out of the freezer and stick a candle in hers, sing to her, she'll make her wish and that will be that. I will also make some sugar free jello and happily munch on that.
I know it doesn't seem possible to do without cake on an occasion, but it is possible and it is worth it. I try not to look at it as saying no to cake. I look at it as I am saying yes to a better life. Especially when I was in the losing portion of my journey. I looked at it as avoiding that cake, would take me one step closer to being out of my misery. Saying no to that cake would get me one step closer to my goals and my dreams. Eating that cake lasts such a short time, it is rarely worth it.
Like everyone said, there are ALWAYS going to be special days. And they come up so darn frequently, there's no way to avoid them for very long. Which is why we have to learn to deal with them in a healthy manner. At social events, I try to always keep a glass of diet soda in my hand or seltzer. It does wonders. And there's almost always cut up vegetables around. Nibble at those. Chew gum. Most importantly remember just how badly you want to be thin and fit and healthy. Always keep it in mind. The very forefront of your mind. Always be aware of it.
I'm sure those Thursday nights with your mom are incredibly special. But if they're doing you in, perhaps you should rethink them. Go to a different restaurant. Order something light. Baked fish or chicken. An undressed salad. Drink lots of water. Spend the meal enjoying Mom's company.
I know exactly where you are coming from. EXACTLY. And that's why I know for sure that you CAN turn this around. I know if for sure.
Glory - Maybe I could have 2 cakes. A 9 x 13 real cake for the birthday boy and his dad and guests and a yummy angel food cake for me. No one will know why I have 2 - they will just think I made extra desserts.
I too am fine when left up to my normal routine, but then events and social food kill me. I have dinner with my mom every Thursday and usually that will throw me.
If angel food cake is yummy, why shouldn't your son and husband have the healthy version too? You can stick candles in it!
As far as dinner with your mom - is it your house, her house, a restaurant? If it's at your house, that's easy - make whatever healthy food you want. If it's at her house, volunteer to bring a healthy dish, have a taste of whatever she made (praise it to the skies) but fill your plate with your healthy food. If it's a restaurant - YOU PICK. There are tons of restaurants where you can order healthy, delicious stuff. P.F. Chang's is a good choice (for example) all their nutrition info is online and it's easy to get the healthy scallops, sauteed spinach and some brown rice. Plenty of food for 2 healthy meals (lunch the next day made EASY). Does dinner with your mom throw you or do you LET IT throw you?
Sandi -- any chance you and your mom would enjoy making a meal for the two of you together? Or a suggestion -- a group of my friends and I have started "Dinner with friends" once a month, the host has it at their house -- they cook the "main dish" and the rest of us bring the desserts, side dishes, drinks etc. Maybe you and your mom could work off of something like that. Or, trade dinner out with her for a movie, a walk, a coffee shop visit, window shopping, etc. I'm sure you would do anything for your happiness and if skipping the big dinner out is what it takes, she would be supportive. It's about the time you two get to spend together. I know our larger book stores here have a coffee shop and a relaxing area to chat.
Sandi--make sure you send Jacob's cake home with people, so it won't be there to tempt you. As for dinner with your mom, stick to a healthy salad? Share something?
Cupcakes!! That's what I did for my 6 year old son's b-day. I made cupcakes and icing and I let the kids ice their own cupcakes and decorate them with sprinkles etc. It went over extremely well. Whatever was left over went into the trash.
UPDATE: Day 3 and still going strong. I am really trying to focus on the positive and decided that next week on vacation, I am going to take advantage of the extra time and workout for a change!
Just sent you a PM...you know how I feel...more than anybody else I think.
Every word you wrote has been heavy on my mind latley...they are an exact description of how I am feeling.
Sandi - Ever since I saw your new avatar this morning, I have been wanting to post about it, but didn't feel right doing it in threads about other things, and wasn't sure I wanted to start a thread specifically about that.
So, here's my chance! Sandi - I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE your picture! You look so bright and happy. Others posted about how beautiful you were, but I had never seen a picture, so I just had to take their words. Which, of course, would have been acceptable - 'cuz they hadn't lied to me before. But I love that I, too, can now say that you are simply gorgeous!
You still sparkle..your eyes are full of love and your smile always warms my heart!
I'm feeling the need to update my avatar, because I feel it's a big lie. That pic is from the last time I succeeded, and is my recent low weight (60 pounds ago :blush: ).
Love you guys!! So far so good today! 
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