I finished reading the book and I really like the first few chapters. I just don't really know how to start all of this. I have been around fitness all of my life so I understand all of the chapters on eating and exerciseing but I still have issues w/ compulsive eating and just plain eating when I am not hungry. Do any of you have some advise on how to start working through this process? Or, is there a link to another thread that talks about it? I really want to get this under control. Thanks in advance!

Kempyd -
There's tons of things you can do to change your eating habits. I think the thing that has worked best for me is writing every single thing down and holding myself accountable for it. If it makes it to my mouth, it goes on my www.fitday.com account.

Another trick is to NOT buy the things you snack on the most. If its not there, you can't eat it.

My uncle had a lot of success with measuring out exact serving sizes and keeping them stored in tupperware that way. That kept him from overeating a lot.

I hope this helps! I'm sure the others will have loads of advice too! Congrats on being ready to start!

I thought the book said not to record everything you eat or do all of the weighing and measuring. I could be wrong though. I have done the whole fitday thing and I found that I got a little freak-o about it. I guess what I mean about getting started is the whole inner self things he talks about. I am not really certain how to take those steps. I did the exercises in the book but I wonder if there is more to it.

I hope I didn't just confuse the issue even more.

Hi KempyD!

Ditto to what emily said above. If you read the companion Food Guide by Dr. Phil, measuring and recording are necessary. Fitday makes it so easy. Also, if you don't measure and record, how would you know how many calories, as well as grams of fat, carbs, fiber and protein you're taking in? Planning and preparation in advance are esssential.

As for getting started, may I suggest, after creating your no-fail environment, commit to 5-6 small meals a day, never allowing yourself to get too hungry or too tired. If you find yourself reaching for food outside of those parimeters, just stop and ask yourself "why?" Am I really hungry? Is it a habit to open the frig and look? Are you responding to an emotion? boredom?

How did you score in the Readiness Profile, Chapter 3, Page 41?

Or maybe you just need to reread the book, and take a hard look at the questions in all of the profiles. I'm not really sure what it is you're asking about getting started. Why not just work the keys, and maybe the answers you are seeking will come along as you go and begin to form the new habits?

dip

Some of the changes I've made that's really helped me is to only eat in the kitchen now (we don't have a dining room) and to extend at least my lunch and dinner meals to 30 minutes. I do this by putting my fork down after a bite and not picking it back up until that bite is swallowed.
I too will compulsive eat and binge if I'm bored so that has helped out a lot. Another thing that helps is to do something else where you can't eat if you start getting the urge. Go for a walk, drink a big glass of water, take a shower. I also do not eat after 9 p.m. That gives me at least 2 hours before bedtime with no food.
Good luck and I ditto just going back over the chapters. Each time I read and reread them I learn something new about myself.

Thanks guys. Dip I think I was meaning the first few keys when he is having you really look at yourself from the inside. I think the chapters are really smart but I guess I am kind of scared to really start. I did the quizes as I got to them and it really made me see what I do to myself. I think I need to really know what to do now that I have answered those questions he has in the book. Maybe I am just trying to hard to look further into this than I should. I have a tendency to do that. I am the type of person that need to have a complete break down of everything. It gets kind of annoying sometimes.

Kemdyd- Ahh, now I understand. I'm going to PM you, but for anyone else who may have this same fear, ask yourself - Is this this a fear or just another form of denial?

I *thought* I knew the reasons why I was emtotionally eating because there were so many obvious things that happened in my life. But as it turned out, those things were only superficial and the real reasons were much deeper and I had been denying them subconsciously. It took hours of journaling and pouring out my feelings on paper for the real causes to dawn on me. And you know what? If you're going to journal, don't do it on your computer, but actually write it out. There is something about that pen in your own hand creating the words that helps let it really flow and give it personal attachment.

I used to think that Dr. Phil should have written Keys 3-7 first, then approach Keys 1 and 2. But if he had done that, this book would be just like a zillion before it in concept. Keys 1 and 2 are real butt-kickers, but this is the core to "It's not what you're eating; it's what's eating you." If you ask any of our beloved Maintainers at this Forum, they will tell you it's not just relearning how to eat and intentional exercise, but you also have to incorporate the *headwork* to make it work for good. I now know that if Dr. Phil had written Keys 1 and 2 last, I would have glossed over those chapters, and eventually would have hit a brickwall and not know why.

I am very grateful that this book was re-opened for discussion, and Suzanne and the girls gave us a forum to discuss it. If you go back to the original discussions when the book first hit the shelves, there were over 50 people who signed onto the Intro Thread.
Keys 1 and 2 are about some pretty personal and soul-searching matters, and I can understand why some people may be fearful to go there. or discuss it in public. But keep in mind that the Internet is one place to maintain your anonymity, and no one is going to judge you because chances are, we've been there ourselves.

dip

I agree with Dip 100% on the journalling and write it down. I try to write in mine each night and look back over the book.
I had the same thing happen as to the emotional eating. You know when I finally "got it?" The first day I actually made an effort for some intentional exercise. I was walking around my yard (I live in the country so it's about the size of an indoor football arena). My goal was to make 5 laps. After 5, the walking felt so good I decided to continue on. I was so glad I did because somewhere between 6 and 8 laps it finally hit me--I knew why I hadn't really started my journey--I was afraid to fail. So I just kept walking and walking. I lost count after 12 laps. That was over 3 weeks ago and I've been doing well at keeping up my intentional exercise. (I missed 3 days in the last 3 weeks).

Each time I learn something new about me, I like to go back and retake the quizzes and read over a few key points in the book.

One more thing that helped me was to write/highlight in the book. When I first started reading it, I would diligently take all the quizzes and write my answers on paper. I guess I was thinking I could figure out his plan and pass my book on or something. But one day I realized this was my book for life and if I would pass anything on, it would be a new copy to someone.

Hi Kempy: I have a very different approach than most people. I read Dr. Phil's book twice. Now I refer back to it (a lot) as needed.

What I took from his book was NOT to obsess over every bit of food you put in your mouth. He talks about how having food on your mind all the time makes it harder.

Let's be real. You are a smart girl. You've been doing this for a while. You know what and how much to eat to lose weight. Forget measuring. Use your fist for a serving of meat. Eat LOTS of fruit and veggies. Cut back on the fat. Keep the sweets to a minimum. Drink water till the cows come home. I know you know all this. There is no trick to it.

The best I got from Dr. Phil (after getting through the chapter of Healing Feelings...that was ****) was to stop eating in front of t.v. Eat at the dinner table or kitchen counter. Pay attention to your food while you eat it. Don't eat mindlessly. Eat slowly. When you are full, STOP.

Once I stopped eating in front of t.v., the weight started coming off. I never finish all the food on my plate.

Don't obsess over this. When you make up your mind to do it, do it. No more excuses.

I think we all have so many emotional issues tied up in our eating habits and our weight, that sometimes we just get stuck.

Best of luck getting unstuck. Try rereading the book.

Summer

Hey Summer. The girls from the other thread thought you left the site. You should drop on to say hi one day. I know that Angie and Noelle would love to hear from you.

I have grabbed the book for another read through. I do like what you said about highlighting and amking it my own. I did feel that I would pass the book on but this one is mine someone else can buy their own copy if they want to read it. My hubby thinks that I think to much into reason for why I do things instead of how to change them but I feel that if I don't fix the root of the problem then it will never go away. I know that my dad dying when I was 13 has alot to do with some of my issues but I don't really know the exact times that it is affecting me. I guess I am just worried about if it is all about my dad then there is nothing that I can do to fix it. I mean I can't bring him back. I guess I could ramble on about that forever but I wont.

I just want to say thank you for all of your support. Deb thanks for the PM and don't be surprised if one day you get a PM from me. I need to just sit myself down and work on me!

Hi Kempy. No, I didn't leave the site. It is just that Weighty Issues had sooooo many people on it, and I had a hard time keeping up with everyone. I felt that if I couldn't find time to respond properly to each person, I shouldn't be there. So, I started a thread for teachers. It is a much smaller thread, but one that I can relate to very easily. It is easier to keep up with a smaller group of people. I do miss you guys and have dropped in occasionally to check on you all.

Okay. You are right. You need to deal with your baggage. My weight began to come on following my mother's death when I was 22. Immediately following her death, I just stopped eating. People kept on bringing food to the house and essentially force-fed me. Once I started, I couldn't stop. I gained 20 pounds during the first month after she died.

I have some other issues. I was a victim of an attempted rape. I was also the victim of a family member who made several attempts to molest me. He would try to spy on me (he was a voyeur) while I was bathing or getting dressed. I don't want to go into much detail except to say that I was very much afraid of him.

I am a child of an alcoholic. That in itself has a lot to do with the weight.

Essentially, the first time I read the book, I wrote a letter to my mother about unfinished business between us. I let out anger at her abandoning me, and some childhood issues. I really let her have it in the letter. Things came out that I didn't even realize had upset me. I bawled my eyes out.

But, I wasn't done. There was more healing to do. I read the book again. This time, my deceased father got a letter, and so did the man who messed with my head for so many years. Again, a total emotional cleansing...it was starting to work.

I'm not 100% straightened out. I know my fat is a giant parka I am hiding inside of. I just keep peeling back the layers. When it gets uncomfortable, I know that what I am doing is helping me to come to terms with what is keeping me fat. It is time for me to face my issues and put them to rest permanently.

My suggestion to you is to lock yourself in your bedroom or whatever private place you choose. Play some relaxing music or sounds (waves). Write a letter to your father. Just go with whatever you are feeling...stream of consciousness...keep writing. If you cry, then you are beginning to scratch the surface. Let it all out girl. You will probably discover some things you weren't aware of. You may be afraid that you will never stop crying. You will. You may need a nap afterwards. Give yourself this special gift. Take care of your precious heart and soul.

Don't be afraid.

Summer

Summer,

beautifully and accurately put!

dip

Thanks.

I have to wonder how many of us grew up in alcoholic homes? I am afraid I could be one too so I use food as my drug of choice. I even tried Overeaters Anon, but the groups I found were the no sugar, no white flour and use and electronic scale to weigh everything. I felt like they traded their addiction to food for an addiction to the diet! I keep looking at Dr Phil, and I think I am afraid to face the first steps. What if I try and fail yet again?

Hi tcstart, Welcome! I think that you have to pick a diet that works for your own body chemistry and lifestyle. You may have to go through several before you find one that not only works for you, but that you can live with. As far as the fear of failure goes, just start where you are, get a plan, work your plan and when you get off course, ( and you will, because life is not all or nothing. That kind of thinking is what gets me in trouble, too. I fall off plan, feel guilty and then want to quit. Being mentally prepared for set backs is part of the plan as well.)You won't find any harsh judgement here. We all struggle with different temptations, but the common thread here is to remember to not waste time feeling guilty.
I have hit the "skids" the past few weeks and I am seeing what I have been doing wrong and am working to correct it. It really is in the planning and being aware of actions and consequences.
I'm glad that you joined us. Irish