Ok, I always have these fear that I'll sit in a chair and break it, which is why I stay away from those cheap, white lawn ones. I was at a local restaraunt Friday evening with the family and was stuck at a table instead of a booth (which isn't great when you have a 2 and 5 yr old that WONT STAY IN THEIR SEAT as it is). I went to sit down and could barely squeeze my thighs in the chair to sit down. I was mortified! I could not believe it. I know I'm big, I'm not delusional but...I wanted to cry. I had to scoot to the end of it and tried to make it look causual.
To make it worse, I just started my period so I am super-hormonal as always and that just topped it. Instead of vowing to diet harder, I did the opposite and had a bad weekend. I ate and ate and ate and tried to justify it. So today, I feel like...well you can guess.
But, I think this may have been the push I needed to face a reality I always want to ignore. (Same reason why I banished the full legnth mirror to the basement). I mean, what will happen when I can't get into the chair at all? What would I do?
No more. I am done being that fat person. I went through my very old exercise books that kept me in shape back in the day and made a program. I am going to be the tough, strong chick I used to be. But, damn I wanna be sexy too. All in good time.
Ah sorry about the rant but wish me luck!


