Hi Everyone

Haven't been here a lot lately and I wish I could say I'm back on track but sadly I'm not. I have been compulsive eating almost everyday and balance it out by compulsively working out. I do up to 4 classes per day at the gym and I'm so exhausted I can barely function.

I wish I knew how to stop In the beginning it was fairly easy and overeating didn't cross my mind even once during the first year. Then the second year rolled around and I should have made goal but didn't because of the bad choices I made. My life is chaotic right now and food seems to comfort me. My daughter cut her wrists Monday, she is only 13 and I've been dealing with that by eating until I'm sick.

I need to take it one day at a time but I'm not sure exactly how where to start. I used to think I was an inspiration but I can't even inspire myself right now If someone had told me that losing weight would leave me an emotional wreck, I may have never started my journey. That's probably not the right way to view what I've accomplished BUT mentally I'm drained.

I need help...

I am a compulsive eater as well so I know the pain that comes with restricting your eating all too well. The thing that strikes me is the fact that your daughter cut her wrists. I think you should seek out some professional counselling both individually and as a family. It is hard enough when we have problems but when our kids are suffering it makes it much worse. I really wish that you find peace because torturing your body with singeing and excessive exercise is only covering up the emotional issues at hand. *hugs* do try to take it one day at a time and prioritize yourself because without your health and well being you won't be able to help your daughter. I wish you all the best, feel free to pm me if you wanna talk.

I think that TiffNeedsChange gave you the perfect response. I also understand the compulsive eating. Please don't throw in the towel. I've heard someone on here say on their ticker that if food is not the problem then food is not the answer and that has really resonated with me...but I still binge and stuff myself silly. I also workout a bit too much, although not as much as you. I hope you figure things out and are able to get back on track. Sometimes, we can become more powerful during times of struggle. Believe in yourself.

I agree with others that have stated professional help is in order for both you and your daughter.

However, I did want to give you hope that your daughter will be OK. I was never able to see a therapist growing up but thought often about and attempted suicide a few times. I ended up doing pretty darn well for myself. I made it harder than it had to be, but still did OK.

So, take care of yourself so you can take care of your daughter and try to get to the root of the problem ASAP so she doesn't continue to go down a more difficult path.

I'm sorry you're going through such a difficult time and I hope it things start getting better for you and your family soon.

Kimberly, I've been on this forum for nearly a year, and I've sympathized with your struggle in nearly as long. I know what it's like to struggle with compulsive eating, and lately I've been right there with you. I overeat because it's the one thing I can control, in the midst of my out-of-control stress. I pick foods that I know I'll enjoy, I enjoy the **** out of it, and while i'm enjoying it I'm already planning out my next snack/ meal. *sigh*

I remember someone mentioning counseling to you when you were having (if I recall correctly) some marital trouble, and you said you couldn't afford it... but with as serious as events are getting (I'm so sorry about your daughter- my 17 year-old has put me through the wringer on that, too) you REALLY need to make it happen. You need to learn the tools to deal with the stuff you have going on in your life, and you need to learn the tools to help deal with your own personal stuff- overeating/ food addiction. You are literally eating your stress. This is something I've had to come to terms with, myself, and where there's a will, there's a way to get the counseling (I found one who works on a sliding scale- and even tho we "make too much" to be considered low-income, she lets me pay $10/visit because we have 6 kids/lots of obligations). Please, don't put it off much longer- you don't want to ruin any more of that hard-earned weight-loss work!

If you ever want to talk, feel free to PM me, I think we have a bit in common. Otherwise.. you & your family are in my thoughts. *hug*

I am struck by the open honesty, and caring of your post and the responses. I would echo the need for professional help, and I would add that at this point, you can't afford NOT to get help.
Compulsive eating and compulsive exercise is a problem in and of itself, and your daughter's problems are a cry for help that can't be ignored. It may have little or nothing to do with you and your issues, but you can't let this go for her.
That said, finding the RIGHT help can be difficult and I hope you will persevere through a couple of people if you don't hit it right at first.

Best wishes to you and your daughter

Sorry to hear that this is all going on, especially about your daughter. You will find the willpower to stop the compulsive eating. Be there for your daughter and just turn away from the food and spend less time in the gym.

Thankyou so much for all the wonrderful replies, I really appreciate the advice and support from everyone. This is a really tough time I'm going through and while it would be easy to throw in the towel, I'm not. I realize I've come too far to go back now and I have to keep pushing forward no matter what.

I like to be open and honest, probably too open for some people but if I don't lay everything out on the table, I tend to let it eat at me. My daughter has a lot of issues going on that I was in the dark about. I thought she was ok because she gets good grades, plays 2 sports, and is a talented artist. It wasn't until a month ago she cofided in me about the cutting. A lot of it has to do with her biological father, who came into her life at the age of 10. Up until that point he wanted nothing to do with her and when she stays the weekends at his house, he doesn't even say as many as 2 words to her. She wants to have a connection with him that's just not there and he refuses to work on it. When I informed him she was cutting herself, he accused her of lying. I think she wanted to prove to him she was lying so she cut her wrists. I have an appointment set up for her to start therapy tomorrow and I'm hoping and praying it helps.

This past week has been the worst for me as far as compulsive eating is concerned. I just wish I didn't have to use food to make myself feel better. I'm at the point where I'm fed up and need to make a permanent change. For the past 6 months I haven't had any insurance because my husband was laid off but thankfully he found a job and we will have insurance in 30 days. I think I'm going to look into therapy around that time and maybe see a nutritionist also.

I'm going to track both my points and calories starting today. I know I can't be perfect but if I'm strict, maybe I'll get myself back on track.

Cutting, compulsive eating and over exercising are all coping mechanisms. And ways to avoid sitting with uncomfortable feelings. I hope you find good therapists for you and your daughter, and that you soon have healthy coping mechanisms and the ability to sit with your uncomfortable feelings instead of acting on them. I found the "Mindfulness and Acceptance Workbook for Anxiety" very very helpful in that regard.

I am sorry to hear about your daughter. I don't know if you work or not, but could you use your EAP program through your employer? Two years ago I was in a pretty deep depression and I was able to use my Employee Assistance Program to see a therapist. The first three sessions were free, and those were just great to have someone to pour all of my thoughts on to. Maybe your daughter can use someone like that to talk to? I hope things start to calm down soon for you and your daughter.

^^^This. My SO used his EAP benefit, and it worked well. Those first 3 sessions could be a gateway until your husbands benefits kick in and can pay for sessions.