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I'm to the point that I won't go weigh in at WW until i lose the weight i gained since my last weigh in which was weeks ago. Does that make sense? It's nuts i know, but mentally i can't hear a higher number than the last high number on the scale when i was there to weigh in
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I do understand the feeling. However, it is not rational and is just a recipe for disaster.
The reality is you weigh what you weigh right now. Pretending you don't by being afraid to weigh in won't change the reality.
I really, really do know of what I speak. When I became a lifetime member 20 years ago I soon thereafter went out of town for 2 weeks where I had to eat out 3 meals a day. I came back to town and knew that I was more than 2 pounds above goal weight.
I was too embarrassed to go weigh in. I just felt humiliated to leave to go out of town as a lifetime member and to go back and have to pay. I felt that everyone would know, etc. So I decided I wouldn't go back until I was back to goal weight.
Unsurprisingly, I didn't go back for years as I just kept going up and up.
Obviously, the best thing would have been for me to simply go back, pay my money and then get back to my goal in a few weeks (which would have been easy at the time).
If I couldn't face doing that (which I couldn't) I realize now that I should have just gone to a different meeting where I didn't know anyone and weighed in there until I got to goal.
In any event, my wanting to pretend I hadn't gained weight did nothing to help me. It only hurt me.