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Old 02-24-2009, 10:59 AM   #1  
forgetting the past
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Default Is it normal to feel like this?

I work at a bank so that basically means sitting on my butt all day surfing the internet (3FC,CNN,EXERCISES) etc. Well my boss used to be on Weight Watchers and it took her I believe six months to lose 20 pounds, which is where im at now,and It only took me not even two. She has since gained all the weight back, and does not care about her weight anymore I believe.

Everyone at my job is trying to "cut calories".One co-worker is going to curvees twice a week but is eating out of control. One co-worker is a stick, one co-worker is about 25 pounds overweight and doesnt really care. One co-worker is trying slim fast and starving herself for the rest of the day. I had suggested WW to this co-worker. She then said " WELL YOU HAVE YOUR MOTHER WHO COOKS FOR YOU ETC" yes I do have my wonderful mother who cooks for me, but my mother isnt there when I'm out with friends,or driving past Mcdonalds.

That didnt bother me so much, what really bothered me was this last co-worker, she is very very rude. Asking me infront of everyone. "HOW MANY POUNDS YOU LOSE". She is chinese and im not racist at all, so please dont think that, but I dont think she understands what shes saying sometimes. If she asked me in private..Oh how much weight did you lose this week i wouldnt really mind, but the fact that she askes me infront of everyone upsets me. I know im doing great and I'm proud of what I do, but I dont understand why she keeps asking me this. I just feel like everyone at my job wants to see me fail.
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Old 02-24-2009, 11:08 AM   #2  
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have you told her it upsets you?

I think perhaps she's just trying to encourage you and it's coming out a bit wrong. but seriously, if it hurts you talk to her and tell her that.
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Old 02-24-2009, 11:54 AM   #3  
forgetting the past
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No I havent spoken to her about it. I really don't think she understands what shes saying sometimes. Some of my friends told me to say to her next time " what are you writing a book". I dont know. It just gets me angry/upset.
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Old 02-24-2009, 12:46 PM   #4  
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I think you should talk to her if you really believe it's a cultural barrier and feel she's not intending to be rude or something.

People sometimes thinks my mom is rude- but she's not- she just grew up in a different culture. She is the kind who gives advice when you don't ask for it. Like let's say you are in a hurry home and hit your car against something and scratch it- she'll say "well you shouldn't have been in a hurry" vs "oh man that sucks!" And I'm like mom- when something has happened- it's over- you don't need to give the person that unwanted advice- they KNOW what they did wrong!

Man I have a friend like one of your coworkers, going to the gym but STILL eating like crap! He eats burgers and so on daily while he goes to the gym, and he has lost a bit of weight- but that'll stop if he doesn't get his eating under control.
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Old 02-24-2009, 12:55 PM   #5  
forgetting the past
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Yeah I really think it is a cultural barrier! I dont want to be rude or mean to her and say stop asking. It's a hard position!

Oh haha thats funny! Yeah we have a customer who brings us enteemanns ( spelling error haha) cookies and cakes every thursday, and a man who works for nestle and brings in candy all the time so they all eat that. I dont touch any of it of course. They all try to get me to eat it though but ill say. no thanks i have my yogurt. its much more rewarding. but yeah she eats out of control and then goes to curves twice a week IF THAT.thinking it will make a difference. ugh. then she goes to me when i said i had jjust lost 3 pounds this week. she said .. oh 3 pounds a week is reasonable. oh ok coming from a person who cant lose anything. whatever.
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Old 02-24-2009, 01:11 PM   #6  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by xchampagnedream View Post
...when i said i had jjust lost 3 pounds this week. she said .. oh 3 pounds a week is reasonable. oh ok coming from a person who cant lose anything. whatever.
well you are doing GREAT, especially when people bring all that tempting stuff into your work!! I would also be embarassed if someone asked me that in front of everyone else. Lke others suggested, maybe she really didn't mean it that way...Someone here at 3FC had the BEST response EVER, something like "oh my, what an inappropriate question! You must be so embarassed right now" and I am dying for the opportunity to use that I think it's the best because it's totally polite but pointing out the rudeness.

anyway, keep on doing what you're doing!!
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Old 02-24-2009, 01:23 PM   #7  
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HAHAHA whose response was that about how embarassed the asker must be? I'm totally using that if I ever get the chance! Mercifully, only one person is so rude about it to me, and I only see him maybe once a year.
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Old 02-24-2009, 03:36 PM   #8  
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If she grew up in China, it could be a cultural thing... I remember reading an article about the preparations in Beijing for the Olympics last year, and part of it was the city putting posters all over the place listing the things that Westerners think are rude... and reading down the list, I was surprised by a lot of them! It would never occur to me to ask a total stranger (or even most people I know!) about their sex life or how much money they earn... but I guess that's not rude at all in China. So maybe she thinks she's being supportive and polite with her questions, instead of nosy and rude? Could you talk to her alone some time and tell her you'd love to talk about your success with WW, but not in front of the others?

Good luck, sounds like a pretty challenging place to stay on track! You're doing awesome!
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Old 02-24-2009, 06:02 PM   #9  
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Yeah it is a cultural thing.. in many cultures weight comments are not considered rude. I know, since my mother is profoundly deaf, it is common for deaf to describe people based on weight and mention that a person is heavy set.. and that they may need to lose weight. Deaf people are not offended by this at all, however hearing people who are used to privacy may have a hard time.
Just ignore it.. and feel good that you're doing something healthy about your weight!
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Old 02-25-2009, 04:29 PM   #10  
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Can you just say, "I am very happy with my progress, thank you for asking" and leave it at that? Hopefully that would be a diplomatic way of answering without having to give a detailed report. As far as the others, I would just ignore their behaviors and stick to your comittment. We all know how hard it is to get motivated and how difficult it is for people to know what's going on internally with us while struggling with weight. Nobody can make us do it but ourselves on our own timetable. I would try to encourage the positive (going to Curves is better than doing nothing) and ignore the negative (all the eating around you). HTH
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