Hi everyone,
I have a question. I have been heavy all of my life and have struggled on so many diets that I bet I have lost way over 1000 pounds. I recently became divorced and moved back with my mom. On Jan. 3rd a few co-workers and I started a weightloss club. We are doing okay, but I feel I could be doing alot better. I have no will power what so ever. I have managed to lose 15 pounds since then but I have some mini goals for myself that I know I should be more strict on my plans to make. I want to be 250 by the end of May. 230-240 by July 1st(under 250, havent been there in a very long time) And 220 by Oct 1st. In a dream I would be 200 by Oct 1st. That is my 20 yr class reunion and I dont want to walk in there at this weight. So I have rambled too long. I might sound negative, but Im just giving up lately. Okay, Okay my question already. Can a person my age (38) that has been overweight all of her life actually have a tight, lean sexy body with the proper diet and exercise? Sometimes I lay on my bed and I catch a glimpse of my inner thighs with all of the hanging skin that jiggles and I start to cry. Im so sad all the time that I will never, ever have a lean body that Im proud of. I have heard that the older you are the harder it is to lose weight, but would lifting even help me. I have a set of dumb bells in my closet. And I have the book by Kathy Smith called lift to lose. But one I cant even get motivated to lift anything because of this thought in my mind that it wont help. I dont want to be a bodybuilder or anything, but I would love to have definition when I flex my tricep, instead of when Im waving by to my family and an hour later My underarm is still waving. Or when I walk somewhere I wont start fires with my thighs rubbing together. I cant afford a gym membership right yet so I need some ideas for at home. I like to walk, but then again is it going to tame the inner thigh beast. I remember Susan Powter years agao lost alot of weight and she is very lean, but who knows if she has had tummy tucks or anything like that. Point blank I will be honest. Im single now, and I want to be healthy for me, but I want to have a body that rocks!!! And heads to turn because of it. I know if I start to see results it would motivate me, but are weights the answer?

Thanks for listening,

Hi there.

I'm 40 years old, and started about a month and half ago at 258 pounds. Down to 244 now, and still falling. I work on on an elliptical trainer, and a home gym weight machine. I am noticing that I have increased stamina when I work out, and can now lift more than when I started. And I've just noticed I can see a new muscle in lower calves that I'm pretty sure never came out to play before. It is hard work, but I am pleased with the results I am having.

I'm not sure how to approach your question, though, since the answer really does lie in your expectations. Can you improve your body? You bet! If I can, and I have even if it isn't by much yet, then anyone can! It is hard work, and sometimes I really would rather not bother with it, but then I think of what I want to do, what I have done, and get on those machine and do what I have to do to make it happen.

But if you are wanting a body that makes twenty year olds envious I don't know if that is a realistic goal. Maybe you can do it, I dunno. But if you can't, it doesn't mean that the improvements you do see (and you will see them if you really do stick with it) aren't worth the effort.

I advise you go for it. Understand that it won't be a quick, easy fix. Understand that sometimes your body will hurt, and you will be tired, and stressed, and it might seem like a big drag. But also understand that sometimes you will fill very energized, just flat out strong. Your clothes will start to fit looser. You won't have to struggle quit so much to open that stubborn bottle of pickles.

For me at least, I get a good bit of comfort of knowing that I am taking active, logical and effective steps to imroving my body.

Thank you for your reply Tealeaf. Im not so much wanting the 20 year olds to look, just that look that I give a nice looking guy with a nice body. Now when you say you lift, are you talking the bar bells, or standard dumbells? I have read that if you had to you could use soup cans as weight. And right now I have let my muscle tone go for so long that I am struggling with those pickles. I use to pride myself on the definition of my legs and calves. I use to be an avid speed skater (roller) back in the day and always had defined legs. But as for my upper body, nothing. I would love to be able to wear a tank top again. Its the little things like that that makes me feel better about myself. And Im sure like alot of other people on this site, Its weird but we have eaten alot of food, fat and calories to get where we are today but, when you hear those words eat more when you lift, I get scared. Like I cant eat more and expect to lose weight. Im just all confused right now. But I do think it is time to dust off all the books I have on healthy living, and that Kathy Smith book and get down to business.

Thank you for your reply again,

Well, I have a Paciific Fitness Zuma machine at home, so my situation is a bit different than yours. I like using the machine, and don't really know much about free weights, though I have heard that there are many who like them more than the machines. I wish I could give some advise on how you might start, but I really don't know much about it. However, there seem to be many knowlegable people about here, and perhaps they could be of more use.

As for eating more, well, to lose about a pound a day one needs to create a calorie deficit of 500 a day. You can do this by eating less, exercising more, or a combination of the two, which is my strategy. Lifting, IMHO, doesn't give one license to eat Big Macs and Pizza 6 times a day. You might want to check out Krista Smash's web site, it has tons of good, easy to understand information.

Edit: Just reread what I wrote last night. In the last sentance, I meant "to lose about a pound a week" not "a day". Opps! I wish it were possible to lose a pound a day of fat!

Terri -- Welcome to the Ladies Who Lift !! We love to help newbies and get them hooked on weightlifting and onto a healthy lifestyle ... Congrats too on your 54# loss that's awesome ...

Now on to your question : Can a person your age (38) " that has been overweight all of her life actually have a tight, lean sexy body with the proper diet and exercise? " The answer I think is maybe and maybe not... It all depends on genetics, I think... BUT what you will have, I PROMISE that, is an increase in energy, an increase in self esteem and self worth... because you are worth every second you invest in yourself ...

Walking and soup cans are a great place to start but you MUST start... You won't always have your thighs rubbing together and the soup cans will get easier, then you can graduate to heavier cans or gallons of water... Walking with a good pair of shoes is ALWAYS available ... The Krista Smash web site is a great place to go to, she always makes me smile actually she cracks me up!!

When they say eat more when you lift, they don't mean eat more MickeyD's that's for sure!! They mean eat more frequent smaller meals...eat 5-6 times per day, a portion of protein and a portion of healthy carbs.... For example I will eat: half to a full cup of cottage cheese with strawberries and splenda, 4oz of chicken with half a cup of brown rice and a large salad and a minimum amount of salad dressing... I eat every 2 to 3 hours... Here is an exerpt from the http://www.abcbodybuilding.com/magazine/fatlossdiet.htm about Meal Frequency that is simply put...

I hope this helps and don't be shy to ask away...

I firmly believe you can look great in a tank top and more importantly, feel great about yourself without weighing 120 lbs of muscle. Weight training will almost definitely help you feel better about yourself and improve your overall muscle & skin tone as you lose weight. Work on the overall picture - your self-esteem, getting new better-fitted clothes as you lose weight, get a new haircut or just a new lipstick. Try to take pride in your accomplishments along the way - you've already lost 15 lbs which is great after all! Weight training is great in that you will see improvement as you get stronger (those pickles won't have you struggling for long). I also suggest you take measurements as sometimes when you're lifting, you'll see huge improvement in your measurements but less loss on the scale.

Also Terri, When you get to the point of needing to add heavier dumbbells/weights to your inventory start shopping yard sales, e-bay and used sporting goods stores. You would be amazed at how inexpensive free weights and dumbbells are. I bought a whole home gym of free weights, dumbbells, squat rack, bench and much more then I could even imagine I would use at a fraction of what it would cost new. I was the only bidder on e-bay. I've had it for several years and I am finally growing up to the heavier weights, it is so gratifying. (For a long time I felt kind of silly with this big squat rack on my patio with no idea how to use it, gosh I was only using the 3, 5 and 8 lb dumbbells and the set of dumbbells alone in the package went up to 45 lbs).

Kathy Smith's book is an excellent place to start, I've used it and it really helped me get started.

AND at my age (50+) I was very discouraged about the flags under my arms, but, since I have been really pushing my weight training they don't wavy so freely as they did. They are still there but there is also muscle tone too, which makes for less wabble.

BTW, I went through a divorce after 25 years of marriage at age 47 and it was the very best thing that could have happen to me. I did not realize how much I was giving up by trying to make that marriage work and now I actually appreciate my ex for recognizing that we would be happier going our separate ways.

Best of Luck, and welcome to the forum,

It's NEVER too late, it's ALWAYS worth it.

After a lifetime of obesity, at the age of 39 I started on my journey to lose half of myself, literally. My skin is so stretched out that I will always have saggy arms, thighs, belly, etc. until that lottery win comes in and I can visit a plastic surgeon. Every day I think about how much I wish I could have a smooth, tight body, even if it is an over-40 tight body. But ya know what? It never occurs to me to NOT eat right or NOT exercise or lift just because I will still be baggy and saggy. The cardio and weight training and yoga will help with the looks, absolutely, even in my sad state. But, ultimately, I'm doing this to be HEALTHY and to live an active, "normal" life. Even though I'm still about 15 pounds overweight and have to dress carefully to conceal my problem areas, I feel confident when I go out, I get my share of attention from men, I consider myself a healthy, active person, and I LOVE the idea of challenging myself physically with my lifting. I do it because it's good for my body and overall health. I do it because I can now shop for clothes any damn where I want to. I do it because I can slide into a theater seat or airplane seat or navigate a crowded room without a second thought. I do it because I feel light on my feet, I'm not achy all the time from inactivity, I am no longer dead tired all the time. While I regret having ruined my body to the degree I have, and I wish every day that things were different, I wouldn't go back to my painful, unhealthy, isolated, unhappy, defiant-on-the-outside-but-crying-on-the-inside life in a million years. It's not about your looks, hon -- it's about your LIFE, about living a life that's not ruled by food, that leaves you free to be YOU without the drug over overeating and inactivity numbing your existence.

The Kathy Smith book is a great start -- that's actually how I started. If you read the book you will find you can use simple, cheap dumbells. Forget the soup cans, just go get some real dumbells already. If you go to a sporting goods store you can buy the cheap iron ones -- the chrome and vinyl-covered ones are a lot more expensive. Pick up a pair of 3-pounders and a pair of 5-pounders and you'll be good to go for a few weeks. If you find following a book difficult, take a look at her Lift Weights to Lose Weight video -- there are two, I'd recommend the original one to start with.

Hi,
I just want to tell you all thank you for all of the wonderful comments and inspiration on me starting to lift those weights. What I guess it really boils down to is that Im just afraid of getting older and saggy and lonely. As for my ex, he has moved on. Its time for me to take charge of my life. I mean it was my idea to get a divorce, now Im the one regreting it. Maybe if I just start liking myself and put in the effort to make myself stronger, leaner, healthier and feel that all around good feeling of well being, I might just be okay. Oh and those chrome dumbells, I got em. I have 3,5,10 right now. Im going to give those a shot for starters. I didnt know Kathy Smith had a video on Lift to Lose. Im a visual learner, so that might work out great. Thanks for that tidbit. And as far as eBay, Im crazy on that site. Although I have never bought gym stuff. Never really gave it a thought. Too heavy to ship I guess. I was too busy hitting the cookbooks. Arggghhh!! Im going to check it out. I use to have one of those exercise balls, maybe I can incorporate that with weights some how. I know I have a long, long road ahead of me, but I think Im willing to travel it. I may start out at a stroll, but hopefully I will be skipping down the road to health. I just cant wait, and literally think of this all of the time, to buy clothes off the rack. Fashion bug and avenue have me hostage and I cant shake them. Im so self consious to wear trendy styles so I stick with the shlupy "fat clothes". But maybe with the lifting and diet motification I can be a little daring to feel better about myself. You guys have been great. I need to run out of here and go get a tape measure to measure so I can see results. I cant get discouraged about the weight, and focus on the all around improvements

Thanks everyone!!!

Congratulations! Go for it! You might also look into resistence bands. They are a great way to start out, and can be used with weights for a more interesting workout. They're also a lot cheaper to ship

Funniegrrl, that was a fantastic post!

Mel

ggeeeeezzzz., i need to hang out here more often instead of playing stupid computer games and knitting!!!!

terri, darlin. you can do this. one step at a time. one lift at a time. one change in your life at a time. and there is ALWAYS a way to get through the lack of money/lack of time that we all face.

it all starts in your head, in all that self talk you give yourself throughout the day. if you have doubts about your ability, you won't be able to do this. but if you tell yourself that JUST FOR THIS MINUTE you can do something healthy, take one tiny step, you will be proving to yourself that you can handle this. and that's all that matters.

and just to push you in the right direction, go find a member named POOKIE88. she's the poster child for someone starting at ground zero with a lot to lose, and enough determination to stick with it. she's such an inspiration.

hi all you smart ladies!!!