Scared of building muscle!
 

I know that sounds weird, but I really am. I have nightmares of looking like those scary body-builder women who virtually have no semblance of a female figure.

I see the women on that P90X infomercial and how they look and no offense-- but a lot of them look scary! I don't want to have huge ripped arms and to be able to see every single ripple on my abdomen.

I have a very V-shaped body for a female and it's a source of self-consciousness a lot, and I'm afraid of looking like superman. Ahh!

The most weight lifting I do is 10 pounds once a week, but I was told that isn't enough. I think what I need is some sort of assurance, and information from other women about what has worked and what would be best for my body type. I know I'll never look like Kelly Brook or Jlo, but I wouldn't mind having a slimmer torso with somewhat of a waist, and having a nicer butt.

You do not have the hormones to look like a bodybuilder, most likely. Bulking up like that requires not only HEAVY, HEAVY lifting over a long period of time and a very specialized diet (which a fitness model in a video will do, sure, as will some people by choice, but which definitely doesn't happen by accident), but also the right hormone balance, either because you're male, or because you're taking performance enhancers. Most women just don't have the testosterone to get bulky. Here's a great article explaining why bulking up doesn't happen on accident: http://www.elitefts.com/documents/female_athletes.htm

Lifting weights has made me not only stronger and leaner at a higher weight, but has preserved my metabolism in weight loss. And I LOVE rocking my toned shoulders in cute shirts (something I couldn't have done if I just did cardio and lost weight).

Another thing to consider...if you DID start bulking up, or getting bigger than you liked, you could always reduce your training significantly and the muscles would go back down again, right? Which is the same as the loose skin question we often get asked, when people worry at the start of their weight loss about what their skin will look like afterward...if you don't like the results, you can always gain the weight back!

Start a lifting program. It'll accelerate your results in a way you can barely imagine!

Those women eat a diet like this: (x grams oats, x grams egg whites, x grams chicken breast, x grams broccoli, x grams brown rice) each day, EVERY DAY, for many, many years, in order to get the lean body fat % that you see on them.

It isn't their muscle - it is their body fat percentage that scares you. The truth is that very, very few women have the perseverance to eat like that on a daily basis for years in order to maintain that look.

Those who DO try for that look (ie. myself) find it can take many, many years to reach that goal, and even then, they are dehydrated and on an even more extreme competition diet just for a few days to get that look.

Ms Weber on P90x does not look like that when she walks around the mall. She only looks like that during a photo shoot that she has spent several months dieting for.

Unless you are willing to weigh every gram of every morsel of food you eat for a good 6 months straight and spend many years lifting very heavy weights at *above* maintenance calories first, then it will not happen. As for actual body building women, that also requires some chemical assistance.

It is sort of like saying, "I don't want to pick up a golf club because I might hit the ball like Tiger Woods".

That is the main reason why women don't get much results from strength training- they believe this myth and spin their wheels because they fear some sort of body type that few *very* athletic women can even achieve.

Great article Amanda :yes:

« If it were so easy to bulk up, why is it that most of us are not at least toned » I heard this saying a while back and it stuck to me, because it does take hours and hours of working out and a specialized diet to get bulky... I've tried, it's not easy, I gave up :lol: but I am still strong :strong: which I really, really like ...

You would be extremely FORTUNATE if you managed to look like the body-building ladies with your weight lifting regimen.
If you are worried about getting bulky (which is NOT going to happen, as already has been explained) you can always focus on lifting less weight but increasing the number of reps.
And even somebody who is ripped to shreds and have spectacular abs like Greg Plitt (pic below) has to follow a special dieting regimen (including dehydration) before a photo shoot. So relax, and head for the gym and show the guys there that you are woman who is serious about lifting.

:drool: :faint: :love:

Long, lean muscle can be built by lifting lower weights at a higher rep. I like to lift at 20 or so reps and use weights that allow me to do that. The weights are ever increasing, but that's because I'm getting stronger. :D

It's a good thing!

Here is Laura Harris, picture taken TWO days apart. See the effects of dehydration and when you go back to average/restaurant eating???

As you can see, what you see in pictures, videos and magazines, is far from reality.

Ilene,

I have another one for you:

The women that look like that spend their life in the gym to build and maintain that body. The truly huge ones that look like men often are taking supplements and injections in addition to all the training. A normal woman just won't get that big if she's doing a reasonable amount of weight training.

Tomato you have made my day with those pix!!! I can now go thru the afternoon with a smile! :D

You could stick with light weights and/or body weight exercises, but the posters above are right that it is pretty near impossible to accidently become overly muscular. Even if you feel you are getting too big, losing muscle (unlike fat) is really easy to do.

Oooooo, can I touch? :rofl:

ooooh, the eye candy thread!

That look doesn't happen by accident. I've tried, and it doesn't often look like that by design, either.

When I was in highschool I lifted weights pretty vigorously 6 days a week with a bunch of male body builders. Obviously, I wasn't powelifting or bench pressing a VW bug, but I lifted quite strenuously. I never got bulky. At all. Even a little bit. I did, however, have reaaaaallllly nice arms.

At one point in my life, I did have the crazy quad thighs. But it wasn't from weight lifting- it was from 10+ years of soccer and having a low BF percentage. Even then, as soon as the season was over and I wasn't playing and conditioning 7 days a week, the uber definition faded in a matter of weeks.

Interesting thread and article, I recently started working with resistance bands( can't afford weights right now) to build lean muscle. The people at my job tell me that I will bulk up. I've been lifting "weights" for most of my life( all the jobs I've ever worked are demanding physical labor). If anything I like my little "rocks" even had some the guys on the job tease me about them, lol.

i cant post what i really want to say here because ill get a message from the mods saying i need to be supportive. the mods just want us to tell people what they want to hear. In my opionion It would be awesome to look like one of the P90X girls.

Nitenurse - if that's your goal, that's fine, but we're just reassuring the OP that given normal weightlifting, she won't look like that (since it isn't her aesthetic). No one body type goal is the "right" one or supported/not supported by the mods.

Martha - I AM one of the outlier % of women who CAN put on muscle mass fairly easily. (I built several lbs of muscle while losing 60 lbs and doing only running) And yeah, it would take me an incredible amount of effort to look like those women. And an incredible amount of eggwhite plain chicken and no carbs.

As it stands I am possibly getting to the point where my upper body is a little more bulked than I would like, but I also know I still have fat to lose. Which means temporarily my fat is bulking out over my muscle, not "being replaced" by it. If you gain muscle faster than you lose the fat you can look temporarily bulked. When I lose that fat then I can reassess. As someone posted it is actually much easier to lose muscle than fat and you CAN actually "spot reduce" muscle. i.e. I build traps very easily. If I dont like the traps, I stop working the traps. They will go away and in a shockingly short period of time.

Meanwhile nothing makes a girls day like ripping 20 perfect decline pushups off a 20 inch bench and having the young guy at the gym comment on how hardcore that is. :D (I didnt let him know that for me decline pushups are actually easier than flat. Backwards! )

I completely agree with you, and I am working on it. Even though I probably won't end up looking like one of them (I am old enough to be their mother) but that's not going to stop me from trying.
And like Amanda said, there is no specific supported body look here at 3FC. Everybody is allowed to strive for what floats her/his boat. Some people prefer lean look with defined muscles, other ladies want to remain curvy. Nothing wrong with either, but we are here to help each other and correct myths that people may hear about elsewhere.

Thanks for the visual - I am picturing him standing nearby, ogling you & drooling quietly. :D

I lift heavy, and I do it daily, I can leg press more than most men I see on the machine! I've been heavy lifting for about a year, for toning & weight loss, not competition, and you know what, I STILL don't look like a p90X chick LOL. I am 188lbs and toned. I have nice arms, beautiful shoulders, and strong legs.

I don't eat a training diet and I'll never be ripped like you see on TV -- I don't have it in my genes, and neither do you! That look comes from a super strict diet and in some cases supplements to help build muscles that we as women don't naturally have the genetic makeup to build to bodybuilder standards.

I always tell my friends to pick up weights and don't pick up something light because you're afraid to get bulky. Pick up the 5lbs for dumbell curls, and when you're pumping like there's no tomorrow, pick up a 10, then a 15, then a 20. You still wont EVER be Arnold, but you'll be strong & have nice arms.

BTW, ennay -- declines are easier for me also -- wonder why that is? I can do at least 10lbs more than I can on a flat bench.

vonnie - I'm talking pushups, not presses, but for me it is because I do a lot of yoga and a lot of hand and shoulder stands. My traps and rhomboids are incredibly strong and overcome the inadequacies of my pecs & triceps in that angle.

Why in the world would you think that? I've tried for years to look totally ripped and know that for me, it's not possible because I'm not willing to sustain a comp diet 24/7 for months on end, then do a "dry out" just for pictures. And like Alena, I'm older than some of their mothers. However, that doesn't stop me from doing pull ups, push ups, heavy dead lifts, cleans, squats and tossing truck tires!

Mel

I also do not understand why you would think this. I've disagreed quite vehemently with some of the mods over the years and we get along fine.

I, like ennay, am one of those women that builds muscle a bit faster than most, I do believe. I've done 2 rounds of P90x, each followed by two months of Insanity (crazy cardio), which is how I lost 40 pounds. I would not look how I do at 156 if I hadn't done all that weight training and plyo. Not at ALL. I was close to this weight in college without really doing much except running and swimming when I felt like it. Then, I was squeezing into a size 10. Now, my size 8 pants are starting to fall off. I actually didn't look at the scale for 4 whole months, and I was shocked when I finally got the courage to get back on it again. Anyway, I don't look like a bodybuilder at all! That would require such serious diet/exercise dedication beyond what I'm doing now/ My shoulders are a bit too bulky for my liking at the moment, and my thighs are starting to get some gross veins in them (that actually started after the second round of insanity), but I will tweak my routine to try to counteract that (less pull ups...more running...etc.)

I'm obviously not an expert, but at first I did feel a bit bigger/bloated when I started heavy lifting. When I add it back into my routine, I do see less of a change in the scale, probably due to water retention from sore muscles (read this somewhere?). I think the p90x gals look great, and so do a lot of female athletes/fitness models/bodybuilders. But that may just be because I have that kind of body type and it's a more realistic goal for me than a regular model or a super skinny actress.

I add muscle quickly in the leg area, not so much so in the arm area. go figure. however, I couldn't even tell you if my legs looked bulky in the beginning because I was SO tickled pink at how much my midsection was shrinking. I'd look at my torso / waistline, grin like a banshee and forget about everything else. All I wanted to do was keep on doing more of the same - building muscle to burn off fat.

Tiki!!!!!! :wave:

Wow Tiki, long time no see :welcome: back ....

Been lurking quite a while trying to find some ideas on how to motivate my gym buddy to move beyond the 5 pound dumb bells. You ladies are still burning it up!!!

heh...I physically removed a dumbbell out of my friends hand and gave her the next heavier one. She has been doing sumo squats for over a year with the same weight.

LOL Tik, I have a gym buddy just like that. And the she'll always say to me something like *what weight was I lifting...I thought I was benching 5's* :dizzy: I usually end up telling her it was 15 or so, which she does with no problem.

But she's gotten so much better, they just need a push, and yes sometimes you have to just say "hey...I bet you're a lot stronger, you should try X weight for a few reps and see if it works for you".

she's deathly afraid of bulking up. I mentioned that her purse is heavier than the dumb bells and she thought that was hilarious. Seriously though, it's gonna be a challenge. We do cardio together but when it's time for weight lifting we are on opposite sides of the gym - I live in the free weight area and she's a machine chick. She comes to my side for bicep curls and shoulder work (with the 5s) and then is gone.

Tiki, good to see you again! How are you & the kids doing?

Hey Rabbit!!! Um, let's see. The Boy took his LAST final exam yesterday. His official graduation is June 7. He planned to sleep super late today so being the thoughtful mother that I am, I woke him up early and gave him a list of chores. LOL!! The Girl is fine. Wrapping up her sophomore year, and has her learner's permit. I'm afraid.......VERY afraid........


How are you doing?

im also a woman that bulks. It really just depends on your genetic makeup on how "easy" it is for your body to bulk.

If you are just doing your light weights and you are not seeing yourself bulk besides just basic muscle, you will be fine!

It is sort of like saying, "I don't want to pick up a golf club because I might hit the ball like Tiger Woods".

lol, i love it