OK - I'm seeing the lap band surgeon for the first time tomorrow. This is something I have been considering for at least four years. I have vacillated back and forth about it, but when my mother had her second bypass surgery last year - she was 61 - I succumbed to the logic of getting one.

I have developed the craziest fear, though. I am terrified of going through life without Coca Cola. Isn't that insane?

Now, since I'm manic depressive it could be argued that insanity is to be expected, but I can't figure this out. Granted, I drink a lot of the damn things. The only thing I can figure out is that since I am a recovering alcoholic and addict (and an ex-smoker) giving up the Cokes is just one more thing being taken away from me. The issue has kind of grown out of proportion. I wonder if the Cokes are symbolizing the idea that my eating and weight have gotten totally out of control and I will have to make some drastic changes to postpose my family curse - early death from heart disease.

I've researched the lap-band for several years, so there isn't anything there that is unknown or frightening to me. The thought of surgery doesn't bother me. Since I decided on a lap-band I'm not concerned about my medication absorption. My husband supports me 100% and my kids are older, so that's not a concern. I work for a company that won't be a problem where insurance and time off are concerned.

You would think I would be rolling in clover.

Nope. Can't get those damn Cokes out of my mind.

CJ: doing without soda isn't as bad as it seemed at first. as a real diet coke/pepsi addict, i simply added this to the list of 'don't even try for at least 6 months.'

when i finally had a little - all de-gassed ya know - it was AWFUL!!!! and i had TERRIBLE pain as the bubbles moved through my system. made me wonder what i'd seen in the stuff in the first place. and now, for an OCCASIONAL treat [and i DO mean occasional - like every other month], there's one brand of diet black cherry soda that I ADORE! i put the bottle in the freezer for about 30 minutes, then pour it over ice. HEAVENLY.

now, as for the BIGGER issue of addictive personalities. it won't be just the cokes that you'll have issues with - at least that's what i'm guessing. so, make sure you have several forms of support - including professional, if ya know what i mean. the risks for you are high, and i'm not talking surgical risks here. if you don't have food to fall back on as an addict, you'll have to find something else - and it can't be alcohol.

keep us posted, darlin. trust me - we get it.

CJ jiffy is right.. My addiction was junk food, and I was concerned about giving that up after the surgery (but unlike you it was the surgery itself that scared the h*** out of me).. And now, almost 4 months out, I tried a burger a couple of weeks back, and it's not at all what it used to be.. I couldn't take it in, I didn't enjoy the taste, and the feeling I got afterwards made me realize it's time to move on and explore different things.. My taste in food has totally changed after the surgery, now I crave healthier foods believe it or now

Good luck to you,
D.