Weight Loss Surgery If you've had it, or are considering it, share your discussions here

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Old 05-03-2015, 09:46 PM   #1  
I can do this
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bethFromDayton's Avatar
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Dayton, Ohio
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S/C/G: 230/222/175

Height: 5'2"

Default Supporting my BFF

My BFF is starting to seriously consider WLS and thinks the sleeve might be the best option for her. She's been to an informational meeting and a persona consult and has all of the next appointments lined up. I visited her this weekend and read large chunks of the binder they gave her (and read lots of it out loud to her).

She has been large her entire life, and extremely large the entire dozen years I've known her. Her BMI is about 70.

I really hope she goes through with this--her weight is keeping her from doing so many things because getting around is so hard for her. On the other hand, I don't want to pressure her to go forward if she decides it isn't right for her.

She hadn't realized that she would have to change her eating forever, and that worries her--she is used to large meals, large bites of food, and eating very quickly. That's a huge adjustment.

She knows that there are risks to the surgery--but there are lots of risks to weighing over 400 lbs. Her current position is that she's going to have it unless she learns something that changes her mind.

If she has the surgery, I'll spend a week or two with her to help her (she lives alone), but I'd like input on the best way to support her as she prepares for the surgery and deals with the doubts and concerns that come with such a major step.

If you're willing, would you please share what your friends and family did that supported you most as you went through this process? (and if there are any DON'T DO THIS that I should know about, that'd be helpful, too.)

I know this is a choice that only she can make and a path she has to take--I just want to help her in any way I can.
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Old 05-03-2015, 10:10 PM   #2  
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Join Date: May 2007
Location: New Mexico
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Height: 5'6"


Hi Beth!

You sound like such a fantastic friend, your BFF is so blessed to have you on this journey with her.

As far as how to support her, that varies so wildly from person to person that it's hard to say. Definitely the help after surgery will be wonderful for her. Those first couple of weeks can be a tough adjustment.

Pre-op, I would encourage her to go to all of the support group meetings and therapy sessions that she can. As my surgeon said, "We remove your stomach, it's not a head transplant." Spending some time in therapy to deal with my food issues (and the root of those issues) has helped tremendously.

I understand her fear of having to change the WOE for life. It's hard to get our heads wrapped around, but it's so very important. That's why most plans have 3-6 months of pre-op dietary counseling. It's hard for her to imagine now, but she likely won't be hungry for a long time after surgery. I get hungry (for some reason that never went away for me), but it's not like it was before. And obviously difficult to explain, lol! Also, again hard to imagine, but such a small amount of food truly satisfies now. And the consequences of overeating are. NOT. worth. it. Now, I eat 1/2 a chicken breast and I literally feel like I just finished thanksgiving dinner I'm so full. There's a learning curve on how much you can eat, but it gets figured out fairly quickly. If I eat even ONE bite too many it makes me terribly sick and in excruciating pain. Again, simply not worth it.

Good luck to your friend, please ask any questions you need to here! We're a friendly bunch.
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Old 05-04-2015, 02:39 PM   #3  
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Join Date: Aug 1999
Location: Rural Indiana
Posts: 6,042


Beth, I don't have any suggestions for you that Gale hasn't already mentioned, but just want to say what an amazing friend you are! If she is up for it, guide your friend here to join us, too.
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Old 05-06-2015, 06:54 AM   #4  
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What a good friend you are, she is blessed !!

What I would suggest is not eating any junk in front of her at all. Temptation sucks and it hurts when you don't understand you can't or shouldn't have something.

If she's eating on a teeny plate, you eat on the same size plate. Steer away from eating out but if you do, choose healthy, show her its a good thing and it can be enjoyed.

When you are done helping her, can you come to my house? <3

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