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Old 12-14-2008, 01:43 PM   #1
not bad for a 47 yr Nana!
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Default The first Christmas after mom died....

I don't know, we weren't that close the last few years (her choice) but my mother was a important part of Christmas for me my entire life. I've heard recently that the first Holiday Season after someone passes is the worst and man am I feeling it.

I have been very Bah Humbug this year, that sooooo not like me! I love christams, even though I always did too much for my tired old body. My daughter convinced me just day before yesterday to put up the tree...it was hard because Mom had hand crocheted two of the orniments and I cried.

It has been hard to not eat and eat through this...instead I went out dancing with friends. Mama loved to dance. I miss her...but I don't miss the "jolly", fat and tired me that had to push myself to do anything that I was for my adult life. So I dance instead of eat holiday cookies...and miss my mom.

Many of us lost family members this year...may we all remember them this Holiday season and dance.


The glass of water is what it is,
it's only our own perception that tells us
whether or not it's half empty or half full...
it's a Choice!!!

Last edited by missangelaks; 12-14-2008 at 01:58 PM.
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Old 12-15-2008, 12:10 AM   #2
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I lost my only daughter 4 years ago when she drowned at the beach when she was 22. I was a single dad and raised her myself from age 9 to out the door at 19.

Took me two years to figure out you never get over it... you just learn to live with it.

It's so hard to look at my grandaughter who's 5 now she looks exactly like her. I about hug her to death everytime I see here which is not very often (not due to me).

I just started putting up a live tree last year. It was one of our favorite things to do together when she was small. It brings me great joy now to put one up now.
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Old 12-15-2008, 09:46 AM   #3
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Merry Christmas to you both. I have lost important people in my life. too. The best we can do is carry on and make life as happy as we can for those we love.
Goal 12/21/2007
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Old 12-15-2008, 10:03 AM   #4
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I lost my grandmother (my mother's mom) just this past October and I am doing "okay" with it, but when Thanksgiving came around my mom was in the worst mood and I am worried that she will be that way again for Christmas. I just wish there was something I could say or do that would give her a little bit of peace. I know she is trying to keep it together for the rest of the family, especially my 7 and 3 year old....I just never know what to do or say to her.

1st Goal: To lose 5% body weight.
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Old 12-15-2008, 11:58 AM   #5
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to you all

The only thing that gets me through rough times dealing with the loss of my loved one is my Faith in Jesus Christ. Just knowing I will see them all again some day helps me live. Its not easy thats for sure but I know who's carrying me when I don't have the strength to walk on by myself.

May you all find the peace that passes all understanding this Christmas season.


Courage doesn't always roar.
Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying,
"I will try again tomorrow."
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Old 12-15-2008, 11:16 PM   #6
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Dang it Ange, you made me cry!!! My sister made a scrapbook for all of us kids (six) of just Mom and gave them out at our family party Dec. 6th. It was good and bad. Went to Mom's today to help Dad out and have really noticed how much older and more frail he has become. We talked about Mom and the scrapbook. My mom was very private about her "before" life. Dad kept talking about stuff I'd never heard. We are all mad at ourselves because, even Dad, noticed things about Mom and how she was going downhill; of course we would put it all together now..... too late. I know things are how they were meant to be, but I'd just have liked a little bit more time with her! I'm sorry about everyone's loss......I can't even imagine how hard it would be lose a child!!!!! Leenie's right and I need to claim that promise.
Nancy J.
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Old 12-16-2008, 01:33 AM   #7
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It's tough being without your loved ones. My dad died when I was 16 almost 17, I spent my whole Christmas vacation (3 weeks) with my dad's brother, and his wife. The past two Christmases I had with my mom. I was very bah hum bugish the past three years, but this year I am actually excited. It just takes some time to get back into the spirit after a time of sadness.
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Old 12-17-2008, 09:55 AM   #8
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The first Christmas after My Gram died we filled the house with Gifts. It still hurts 3 years later, but now We just focus on the good memories... Every time one of us would ask Gram what she wanted for Christmas she'd say "My two Front Teeth" like the song!
This year her sister passed away last month. . .its been very hard on us. They are in a much better place than we are! They don't want you to be sad
Ang Cherish those things and You did the right thing going out to dance!
Celebrate Life!
Making a commitment to myself
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