A rant...my thoughtless brother or "A tale of a doormat"
I have been the kind of person that my friends and family can count on. The one they call when they need a ride, the one that goes in the ambulance with my family member, the one that went to the emergency room, or the doctor's office or the store when they were tired or the fast food place to get food for the diabetic (food that I don't even eat now). I still take my brother where ever he needs to go, watch his doggie during the day (who I love like my own now) even over night.
Now when he got his little dog, he didn't want to leave her alone...he told me that he was going to pay me for watching her, then it became a burden financially for him and I told him he could put off paying me until he was doing better...at the time, I was doing better myself financially and didn't need the money so I told him not to worry about it. But now that I have decided to reopen the studio, I am strapped...I am having a time just making ends meet and when he gave me $20 I got excited!
He said I was all about the money and I was offended...there was my big mistake! My brother is a jerk about teasing and now he found something that makes me upset. And I haven't heard about anything else since.
I just have to type out this rant because, though I just tried to, talking to him is more maddening then typing...any day! He just blows me off in a "figure it out for yourself", angry way that just doesn't do it for a woman that just wants to be heard.
I try to do what my mother used to tell me "just ignore him Angel, you're making it fun." But it's hard not to throw things at him!
*deep breath*
I just had to say that I understand why, his ex, soooo many other women and me have wanted to be and/or remain single!!!!
There, thanks for listening!
Angela
Last edited by missangelaks; 09-22-2008 at 07:21 PM.
Darlin - this is SOOOO familiar to me. and here's my two cents. while on the surface it may look like he's found a way to tease you, it might also be the repetition of a pattern that ended up with you gaining lots of weight.
here's how it might work - brother knows you'll TAKE CARE of his issues. and he knows that you'll TAKE CARE of it no matter how inconvenient, painful, stressful it is for YOU. and he also knows that teasing you gets the focus on YOU, rather than on HIM and his actions. And he's prefer to do THAT rather than acknowledging that [to one degree or another]: (1) he's causing you difficulty (2) he should be assuming more responsibility (3) you have a right to feel put upon - because you ARE being put upon (4) he's made his problem YOUR problem
and you're left with anger and frustration and a sense of helplessness and a lack of control in the events of your own life. sooo, what do you do with this??
in a nutshell, this is one of the ways i ended up at 500+ pounds.
My brother is a jerk about teasing and now he found something that makes me upset.
Maybe his teasing is a way to deal with his embarassment..... for a man to feel they can not make enough money to support themselves and/or family is a big kick in the ego (anyone really but especially MEN).
I think he hides behind his teasing, but he is really hurt... at the same time that doesn't give him the right to upset you like that
I agree with all things said and I have to say, Leenie...I have to giggle everytime I see that smiley of the two slap fighting! Feels like me and my brothers! Very fitting, but it gets me to laugh out loud ever since I noticed it.
Thanks people,
Angela
Last edited by missangelaks; 09-23-2008 at 11:29 AM.
I have a younger bro, about 14 years, and he is a brat. He can make me madder in two seconds than anyone in the world. He is a big teaser and can't take it as good as he gives it. I can't kill him, so mostly I ignore him. I love him very much, but would like to use a shovel on his head once in a while. I talked to him on the phone one day and then called his wife, SIL, and told her if he was my husband, I would poison his dinner!!! If he really gives on my last nerve, I just remind him that I used to change his poopy diaper and I'm going to tell everyone about his "birthmark"! LOL!! He used to tease me about me being a "big" girl, my whiskers (poor boy can't even grow a mustache), in front of everyone and too everyone. Mostly I just tell him to stop being ignorant and go on to something else! Once I gave him a big hug and told him I loved him anyway even if he was being a jerk. That shut him up pretty quick!
I realize that most people's "comments" just roll off my back, but if it is family that is a whole different story. They are just like my food fetishes, you just have to find someway to deal with them, that doesn't cause you or them any harm. AND IT AIN'T EASY! JiffyP has nailed it. They say to "heap coals of kindness on your enemy's head".......now how can you do this for your knuckle-headed brother.......?
If it's becoming a problem for you financially, you should probably just stop watching his dog altogether. He's using you at this point. Let him find someone else to do it for free (which he won't) and you can find another way to make some extra cash.
nah, I just saw pain honey...and you were right, I was being somewhat petty but where else can I vent and get some great advice, if not with such a wonderful set of people on this board. At least I wasn't letting it get me into the kitchen, sabotaging my progress, right? It was a good thing to say it all here and not to him directly when I was that angry. I could cool off after typing loudly about it here and talk to him again...ok, text him so he could intrupt me with his crap! LOL
Angela
Last edited by missangelaks; 09-24-2008 at 12:46 AM.
Angel The main thing is you realize that your time is important. . .So are your feelings! This is something I'm still working on.
You're a grown woman and your brother does not have the right to tease you regardless of whatever emotional paycheck it cashes for him!
And you don't have to run for Anyone!
Thanks for understanding. Sometimes when pain is so fresh it's just hard to...ummm ...well hard to understand, I guess. But I sure did know what your knowing though! My brother was something else, too.
Quote:
Originally Posted by missangelaks
At least I wasn't letting it get me into the kitchen, sabotaging my progress, right? It was a good thing to say it all here and not to him directly when I was that angry. I could cool off after typing loudly about it here and talk to him again...ok, text him so he could intrupt me with his crap!
Angry eating is the worst!! Yeah, just having to type it out helps.
Texting actually might not be a bad idea.
A rant...my thoughtless brother or "A tale of a doormat"
Sorry.
At least I wasn't letting it get me into the kitchen, sabotaging my progress, right? It was a good thing to say it all here and not to him directly when I was that angry. I could cool off after typing loudly about it here 
and talk to him again...ok, text him so he could intrupt me with his crap! 
...well hard to understand, I guess. But I sure did know what your knowing though! My brother was something else, too. 
