There are others, like my grandma who thinks she has free rein to say as she pleases... always saying something about me being big, even to her friends.
My mom is the same way, and my grandmother (her mom). and it doesnt even have to be about weight. My grandmother told me once, "boy you are really showing your age." From an 82 year old woman!!! My mom said once, "you'd look a lot better if you'd wear make up." I DO wear make up!! I may not slather it on like her, but I never thought the "Tammy Faye" look was for me, ya know?
Family can be the worst.
So all of what you've said should be your No. 1 motivation -- to lose the weight, look and feel great, and then PRAY you run into those thoughtless jerks.
Have you ever met a genuinely intelligent, classy person who would EVER say such things?
I didn't get that impression at all. And I know you're paraphrasing, but where were those things said?
I don't "PRAY" that I run into people that were inconsiderate, hateful, and mean as children. I come from a small town. It happens every time I go home. When I run into these people, a little part of me is freed from being the "fat kid". There is nothing smug about that. It's like, hey, maybe there's some teeny tiny possibility that I won't just be the fat girl anymore. Now that they've seen me, I can be someone different, like just Jennifer- a musician, a funny person, a warm person, not Jennifer who has gained even more weight since childhood. I realize that sounds silly, but it's true. And I will tell you something else: I was way too self absorbed when I was losing to be thinking of anyone but myself, certainly not people that I only think about when I run into them at a bar back home And that group of girls I referred to in my previous post? If they are still behaving like rude and immature 12 year olds, well, let them be uncomfortable.
I once went on a white water rafting trip with co-workers. One co-worker, the she-devil of the office, later made a comment about "a beached whale" referring to when I had jumped in the water at Swimmer's Rapids to have fun and then when they tried to pull me back in, my jacket got hung on something on the side of the raft...so pulling me in was harder than it should've been of course. I made some smart remark to her about how this beached whale at least knew how to help paddle.
My husband told me a couple years ago as we walked back from the pool after swimming laps and I was discussing my unhappiness at my weight, "I look at it this way, at least I don't have to worry about you cheating on me." I simply smiled at him and said, "I won't even be mad you said that because I know you are too stupid to understand how stupid that was." He started laughing... at himself. He also told me several years before that about 3 hours after I told him I was pregnant with our child that if I gained too much weight he would leave me. He gained twice as much as I did during the pregnancy, and now tells me he thinks I am beautiful regardless and admitts that he was an idiot for saying that. lol.
My brother always called me "fatso" when we were kids. I was a very thin (TOO THIN!) teenager, so I never got teased then. But as an adult woman in her 40's, I've heard remarks (mostly from a**hole pre-teen types) that were just unacceptable. And me and MY BIG MOUTH... always shooting off a comeback... "Too bad your mother can't retro-abort".... Geez, sometimes I think I'm THEIR age! LOL....
My first husband used to tell me that he could handle anything between us, but "just don't ever get fat." Duh. I divorced him...
Right now, I have nothing to say to anyone who thinks they have a right to an opinion about MY weight. I mean, damn, if they don't have ANYTHING BETTER TO DO with their time than to JUDGE ME, then ain't that just too bad!
Her other favorite comment was "your legs don't have much hail damage for as big as they are".
Oh my gosh! I'm SO telling my husband that's what's happened to my legs! There weren't significant dents before I started losing weight, but there are some whoppers now! Hail damage! LOL!
Sorry, I know the coment hurt you... but there were huge hail storms this year in our town, cars everywhere damaged/totaled, and there are still dozens of fly-by-night hail dent repair signs up everywhere. I just have to tell him my legs got hit too!
Just this last week at our family reunion my older brother made a stupid comment about his wife's weight at the dinner table. She got up and went outside because it hurt her feelings. He just sat there like he hadn't said anything wrong. The other women at the table laid into him about his comments.
Later she came back in and the rest of the family was apologizing to her for his comments, I said, "We don't have anything to apologize for, he's the one being a jerk." Well, I said something a little stronger but I think it gets filtered out. He was sitting there, stupid boyz. And he's in his 60's!
When I was in school I was called Big Bertha. I wasn't overweight, I was tall and developed earlier then everyone else. I had a chest and hips before all the rest of the girls in my class. It always made me feel bad all through school. The best thing that ever happened was graduating high school and getting away from all those jerks. I won't even go back to the high school reunions. I couldn't stand those people then and I'm not about to make any effort to see them 25 years later. Oh, dear I didn't realize I was so bitter about it. Oops. Time to push it back down and forget about it again.
Sarah
I was called names, tormented, whatever you can think of, it happened to me. Not only by people I went to school with but even by my own family. I had no where I could go for comfort except for my mother.
I lost weight in HS and everybody came up too me and told me how good I looked, that was the best feeling out of everything I went through. Even though it didn't last too long after HS.................For a short time I felt wonderful..............
Sarah, I haven't been to any of my reunions either. Those people don't matter to me either. If someone can't like me for me, than tough. That is INSIDE and OUTSIDE too. I get tired of worrying about what others think of me. We shouldn't have to live our lives for other people, but I know sometimes its very tough not too. Just a shame how terrible some people can be.
......about 10 years ago, I went to Jenny Craig and lost 60 pounds. I only weighed 130 pounds after that, but one of my friends still referred to me as "hefer" or "cow." She admitted to me months later, that I now weighed less than her, and she was jealous of my success. This admital softened the blow, but the comments, at the time, still hurt. That is why I never make negative comments about what people weigh. Sue
I hate the fact that TALL (not overweight) women got grouped in with "fat". That does wonders on self-esteem and skewed body images.
I, too, have no desires to attend HS class reunions. I'm listed in the phone book, am listed online, and I live 20 miles from where I grew up. If anyone from high school wants to get a hold of me, they can.
Same here. I live in the same city, am listed in the phone book, etc.
I went to my 5-yr and had a great time showing all the nasty girls my new-found confidence (I brought TWO dates - one was my boyfriend and the other was just a friend, LOL).
It was so incredibly boring. All the cheerleaders still sat together with all the jocks. All the cliques were still together. It was like we never left high school.
I got a nice buzz on and danced like mad with my 2 men. We had an OK time, only because we made our own fun, but it was really lame otherwise.
Never again. I have no desire to see those people again.
I, too, have no desires to attend HS class reunions. I'm listed in the phone book, am listed online, and I live 20 miles from where I grew up. If anyone from high school wants to get a hold of me, they can.
Oh, I'm so going to my 20th this summer. I weigh LESS than I did in high school AND I finally had my overbite/lower jaw surgically done. I'm going to get a fabulous outfit, get my hair highlighted and I know I'm going to look amazing. I honestly can not WAIT.
My mom said once, "you'd look a lot better if you'd wear make up." I DO wear make up!! I may not slather it on like her, but I never thought the "Tammy Faye" look was for me, ya know?
And that group of girls I referred to in my previous post? If they are still behaving like rude and immature 12 year olds, well, let them be uncomfortable.
