I really think I could have done better this past couple months. My weight has stayed between 180-183 since the beginning of July.

My perfectly fine mom had a major heart attack at midnight, July 20 and has been in the hospital in the cardiac intensive care unit since then, on a respirator and I am just a wreck. Visiting hours in CICU are very restricted and I go every night for the 6:00-7:00 visiting hour. By the time I get off work and drive the hour & a half to the hospital and then stand by her bed for an hour to visit (basically just stare at her on a respirator ...i don't even know if she knows we are there anymore) and then drive the hour and a half back home, we have been picking up a pizza for dinner or stopping to get a sandwich somewhere because I am just too drained physically and emotionally to cook when we get home.

Anyway, I know I am just making excuses for my crappy eating the past few weeks, but has anyone else been through this? I am sure someone must have been there. And I reallly need some "coping mechanisms" right now.

When you get to be my age (51) you kind of prepare yourself for these things, my parents are both about 80, you know they will die someday, and you know it will be such a big loss and you will miss them, but you know it's gonna happen. I think I was prepared to lose them, at least as much as you can prepare for something like this, but I was not prepared to see her on the respirator, then off the respirator, and then back on........every day is like a roller coaster. Her condition is "grave", but one day she is trying to tell us she needs her toenails clipped, and she would "really like to have brought lipstick to the hospital with her", then the next day she is back on the respirator and unconscious. The cardio doctors say there is nothing they can do for her, her heart is too bad, and it is just a "matter of time".
This is so hard.

I'm just blabbing.....i just had to talk. Go about your business...

Mudbugs, I'm so very sorry about your Mom.
I went through the same thing with my Dad two years ago when he was diagnosed with cancer.
He went quite quickly, but it was very intense towards the end. He was very ready to go... he'd be going downhill, but would suddenly pick up. (to his dismay) It was a real roller-coaster ride.
I loved my sweet Dad more than anything, but there were times when I was so physically and mentally drained that I would think, "Please hurry and go. I'm so tired!"
I ate a lot of junk during that time, but I did the best I could. And that's all you can do, dear girl.
Do you have any friends/family/church organizations/etc who would be willing to make you a few meals? We had friends dropping off meals to us frequently... it helped a lot.
I don't know what the hospital is like where your Mom is... ? My Dad was in a hospice, and there were several "family rooms" where my sister and mom and I could relax. We took in a few jigsaw puzzles and left them set up for other families. There were also rooms available to us if we wanted to sleep in the hospital (we did that for the last two weeks).
Can you sit by her bed and read/knit/listen to music? We had a tape player in Dad's room, and would play classical music for him. It was soothing for him and for us.

I'll keep you in my prayers, Mudbugs. Do what you have to do to take care of yourself, as well as your Mom.

And btw... if people offer to help, take them up on it! They really do want to do something, so don't be afraid to ask.

mudbugs

I just wanted to write and say I am sorry for what you are going through. It sounds like it is very tough and very tiring for you. I agree with the previous post. If anyone offers help, take them up on it.
If you have nobody available, perhaps you can send the other half of the "we" you mentioned (your husband or whoever you were referring to there) to the store and get some pre-cut fruit trays or veg trays, maybe even get that person to make up some 'lighter' sandwiches to go with it, if he/she has time. Fruit and veg will prob make you feel better than pizza.

Best wishes to you and I hope your mom improves

I am so so sorry about your mom! I went through it with my dad most of last year and then he finally gave up in Jan. It is the hardest thing to go through! I thought that I was ready and I even prayed for him to go and be out of pain but it didn't make it any easier when it was time.
I agree with the other ladies take all the help you can get!
As for the food, I would try to stay away from the pizza. If you get food on the way home, try lighter stuff such as subs or salads, some fast food places have real good salads.
Once again I am very sorry and if you ever need some one to yell at just cause you are angry at the situation I am here....

My thoughts and prayers are with you. I can only imagine what it must be like. My parents are elderly. I know that one day I will be where you are ~ I dread for that day to come. Hang in there as best you can.

I am soo sorry to hear about your mom. My parents are only in their 60's but I know the day will come when I have to face this. I will keep you in my thoughts. Please don't forget to take care of yourself at this time. You are worth it.

Mudbugs,

I'm really sorry to hear about what you're going through with your Mom. I lost both of my parents to heart disease (my Dad was in his 40's, my Mom was in her 50's) and I know how incredibly painful and stressful it can be.

Does the hospital offer any type of group support, grief counseling, etc. for family members? Some of the larger hospitals have family group meetings to help people cope with the stress and strain of their loved one's illness. It really can be helpful to talk to people, face to face, who are in similar circumstances. If you are interested in any type of help, you can ask to speak to the social worker. They should have information on available resources.

As a nurse, I worked on a unit with critically ill patients on vents, some were comatose. I ALWAYS talked to my patients, regardless of their ability to respond. One of my patients came out of her coma. She thanked me for talking to her because, she said, no one else ever did. She KNEW I was talking to her!!! I believe that many people who are unable to communicate are still VERY aware of people---being there and communicating with them.

I can totally understand about "crappy eating" given your circumstances. You should be proud of yourself for MAINTAINING your weight during this tough time! That is a real accomplishment!

I have a few suggestions: Have you checked out the hospital cafeteria? Some of them are pretty good.....with large salad bars and grills (grilled chicken breast, fish, etc), fresh fruits, cottage cheese, yogurts, etc.... Could you prepare your meals ahead of time, like maybe on the weekend, and reheat? How about bringing some healthy snacks for the long car ride? That way, you won't be as hungry and may make better food choices.

You and your Mother are in my thoughts and prayers! Please feel free to PM me

Thank all of you so so much for your prayers and kind words. If prayers will do the trick, I can't help but think maybe a miracle will come about, because she has so many people praying for her. You guys are fantastic. truly.

You all have had some WONDERFUL suggestions. Oh, and that hospital cafeteria? Don't even go there. I know some hospitals have great cafeterias, but I think this one ...although one of the top hospitals in the tri-state area...really needs some help in the food department.

I have 4 siblings who are also going to the hospital everyday...Last week, I could have taken a fruit tray (excellent idea), but no...what did I do? I went to the bakery and bought a huge tray of cookies to give everybody something to munch on while we are sitting in the CICU waiting room. It seemed like a good "comfort food", and I know we all would have been MUCH better off with the fruit. I never even thought of it!

Tonight I can't go to the hospital. My husband has to work late to make up for all the time he has been taking off, and I am too nervous these days to make that drive alone in rush hour traffic. Yup, I am a big chicken.

Mudbugs,

I'm so sorry to hear about your mother. My grandmother died last year, and no matter how prepared you think you are for it, it's still devastating.

I don't know if your supermarkets there have deli's, but here you can usually find some pretty healthy salads in the supermarket deli, as well as rotisserie chickens. Also, fat-free cottage cheese and yogurt are good when you're eating on the run, along with the veggie and fruit trays like someone else suggested.

Best wishes and *hugs* to you and your mother.

I'm sorry to hear that you are going through such a tough time. I'll keep you and your family in my prayers.

Hugs to you & your family, mudbugs. Do the best you can to care for yourself & your mom. It must be hard on you all. Best wishes & prayers for you all~

My only idea is portable eat & run type sandwiches- pita pockets, small subs, wraps, tortillas, etc. Someone already said fruit & veg trays. Yogurts. Healthy casseroles that could be frozen ahead of time.