Hello Everyone- I was dwelling on why I let myself eat
destructively in hopes of changing the mental state that led me to gain and break the cycle so I will really succeed.

After dwelling on this a long time and trying to be as honest as possible with myself I was shocked to realize that I subconsiously eat when I am mad at my husband- possibly at a way of showing him who is in control.

I will be dwelling on this more... and invite you all to explore your own reasons for overeating beyond the love of food.


Why do you eat? What does it give you emotionally?

It's amazing that I've noticed triggers now that I'm really paying attention. I feel an almost clear cut urge to reach for something to eat when I'm feeling out of control about something.
Also, there's the "just because it's there" feeling that I find is actually easier to fight. It's less emotionally based, and more out of habit.
Interestingly, I find that I really and truly do not want the stuff I would have reached for before. Of course, I'm not perfect, and I still eat sometimes when I'm not quite hungry, but the amounts are SO much smaller than before. I hope I can keep this up. I hope we all can!

That's me, just because it's there. Because I can and because it tastes good. haha If its not in the house, I don't want it (usually) but as soon as its in the house, I want to eat it all! haha

I am finding it very interesting to reflect on these isses. I also turn to food when I'm angry at someone or upset -- thinking it will make me feel better. I'm realizing that not only is the food, at best, a temporary solution, but it makes things worse! Because a) I don't really savor it; b) now I feel guilty for eating it and "losing control;" c) I've sabotaged my efforts.

I think you're onto something about the control. I've managed to control my binging urges lately, often by telling myself the above and have found exercise is something that a) makes me feel better and b) actually enhances my weight loss efforts.

As I feel my control slip, I remind myself that my eating and my exercise are 2 of the few things in life that I CAN control! The irony of eating to show someone else we're in control is that, of course, now we are not in control of our eating...

I think so much of this is a mental game, and I have decided I'm playing to win this time.

I think for me it is very much for comfort- especially in times of sadness and/or depression.

Here's a good example of unconciously naming it for what it is.

I have an addiction to sugar, specifically if it comes in a pint of hagen daas. One day I was wanting to go to the store to get some, I had to wait for my husband to get home from work before I could o get it. So, he gets home and I said - I swear, unconciously- "I'm gonna run to the store to get my medicine."

I said "medicine". I was not trying to make a joke, I did not have any medicine I had to go get...I just said it. That moment I figured out I had been using ice cream as an "anti-depressant" if you will... but ironically enough, I fel miserable once the pint was gone. The high only lasts as long as the last spoonful, and when that is gone you feel worse than you did before you took the first bite.

There are a lot of health reasons I have to lose some weight over, but tossing out a crutch that I use to beat myself with will be a great feeling as well.

Well, I guess I'm a mix of the ones listed above.

A. I eat if it's there, sure. There are these chocolate covered sesame sticks (get them from the asian store) that never once cross my mind during the week but when I go home and I see them sitting there on an easily accessible shelf, then I have to have 3 and those feel really good and then I have to have "just one more." It's a pain. Some weekends I control those urges...other weekends...well let's not talk about those.

B. I am very enthusiastic about starting a fresh foods only eating program. I'll incorporate salads, whole wheat bread yadda yadda. But, since my kitchen is three floors down (dorm), it's a hassle for me to prepare food everyday. So I make the same thing for lunch and the same thing for dinner for months at a time. I guess I'm not a fickle eater. Then, I'll be hungry one day as usual and I'll just WANT my egg roll (that's to me what burger and fries are to you ex-fast food junkies ). So I go out and get my egg roll. Next day I'm fine (now) but before my healthy living I used to order chinese: A LOT. I used to eat Chinese once a week because I felt "hey I want something fatty." I guess what I'm trying to say is I'll eat something bad because it's out of the ordinary for me.

For me it is definitely tied to control issues. It started with fighting my mother when I was young over what I ate and it grew into a way to control my emotions. I use/d food to soothe or repress emotions I didn't think I should be feeling. Allowing myself to feel has been a hard thing but has allowed me to stop using food so much for comfort.

I think I overeat for two main reasons: 1) boredom and 2) because food tastes good.

Most people say that the weekends are the hardest but for me it is the opposite, weekdays are harder. This is partly because I work out of my home, so food is always readily available and whenever I'm bored with what I'm working on, my first thought is "I could use a snack." If I'm focused and engaged in what I'm doing, time passes easily and I don't even notice the urge to snack. But when I'm bored, food has always been my entertainment of choice. On the weekends, I'm running errands, doing stuff around the house, doing stuff with friends, etc. so I'm rarely bored. Hence eating is less of a problem.

Also, I'm a foodie. I know Oprah has been quoted as saying that no one ever got fat eating carrots, but if anyone could do it, I could. I like thinking about food, I like going to restaurants, I like buying food, I like preparing food, I like talking about food, I like researching new recipes, I like reading about food, and most of all, I like eating it! Not just junk food, but all sorts of food: veggies, fruits, meat. In fact, even before this diet, other than Quiznos and the occasional burrito, I never ate at fast food restaurants (I haven't been to a McD's in probably 10 years) and also rarely at junk food (I was even fairly moderate about eating dessert). But I ate a lot of high-calorie meals and I ate oversized portions. My breakfast was a large bowl of cereal AND a cup of whole fat yogurt, sometimes with honey on it. I liked the cereal and I liked the yogurt and I wanted to have both.

I don't really eat because I'm depressed, upset, or stressed (drink maybe , but not eat), food just hasn't ever offered me comfort in that way. If I buy a pint of ice cream and eat it, it's just because it tastes good and it gives me pleasure!

- Barbara

I overeat for a couple of reasons:

1. I love food way to much
2. I associate food with social situations and fun.
3. I am too comfortable with my weight. I think of losing weight as an improvement but not necessary so losing weight is just not enough motivation for me to not indulge in the foods I want.

Number three is the honest truth behind my struggle.

Same here and also emotionally, either I will not want to eat or I will want to pig out!

This is WHAT you are eating- what is there.

This is not WHY you are eating. If it was just because it is there you would eat in controlled portions because it is there and will be there tomorrow too.

I am asking you to honestly look at why you over-eat. Having it there makes it easy to give in to the impulse.

Why do we eat:
portions larger than reccomended
when we are not hungry
when we know it is bad for us
when it makes us resent the way we look


What does it *do* for us?
What is the emotional need that we are filling with food?


I need to see my emotional needs clearly so I can find ways of filling them without food and break this cycle.

Boredom!

Barbara I think that is another point for me! I have to think on that.

When I was a kid we always ate at home. To eat out was a very rare treat. As an adult I hate to cook and consider it a treat to eat out. I may have to dwell on this and find new rewards that can replace food.

steph w I totally agree with #3
I am a confident women and I am not insecure about the way I look. That is a huge crutch for me. I don't spend a lot of time looking in mirrors or caring about how I look. What I am learning is that appreciating a healthy body doesn't make you vain. I need to care more about the fat rolls...seriously...not because I look fat so much as because it doesn't truly represent the person I am. It is hard to start looking in the mirror and not start obsessing about it (probably why I don't).

Control. Completely.

Kids are misbehaving=eat
Husband is being thoughtless=eat
My mom is getting in my business=eat
Selling the house and moving somewhere yet to be determined=eat. A LOT.

I guess I could tell myself that I am in control when I choose not to binge. That works when there aren't any hormones involved. When there are, it doesn't work well at all.

Kateful - I LOVE your post!
I do not think just telling ourselves that we are in control by not eating is going to work. If it did we would not be here-

I think we need to find another ACTION that proves we are in control to fill that emotional need. Eating was an instant way to show I was in charge and if I wanted I could drive my body 6 foot under- it was MY choice. So we need to brainstorm on an action that would say that we were completley in control of our destiny in a POSITIVE way.




Kansas- about being comfortable about your looks, I am too which is why it took me so long to commit to a diet. But lets talk Health- and remove the looks. Are you healthy and fit?

I do not know about you two but my back is bugging me and I get tired way too easy. Are there activities you will NOT do because of your health like swim, run or dance?

It is not vanity- it is health- for me I need to be able to participate in life and living rather than bury myself in work and food.