Oh yeah, I have relaxed the "I don't eat that" rule significantly now that I'm in maintenance mode. It was just really helpful to me in situations like you've described. I don't do moderation well. Splitting a dessert in a restaurant is one thing, an open bag of mint milanos is another.

Could you ask your sister to help you be accountable? You say you need this job because of money. Tell your sister if you eat her stuff, she gets to charge you for it. Knowing that you're burning all the cash you're making babysitting if you eat those Dorito's might help keep you out of it. If it's a null sum cash proposition, you might as well stay home and avoid the temptation!

Originally Posted by Glory87:
Tell your sister if you eat her stuff, she gets to charge you for it. Knowing that you're burning all the cash you're making babysitting if you eat those Dorito's might help keep you out of it. If it's a null sum cash proposition, you might as well stay home and avoid the temptation!

Ooh, Glory! That's hardcore and a great idea!

Originally Posted by wyllenn:
I don't have to face it like you do, but when I'm at the checkout like, for instance, and the Score bar calls to me, I just say, "I don't eat that now"

It's funny what works for some people doesn't necessarily work for others. The minute I say "I don't eat that" I've got problems both within myself but especially with extended family members that seem to make some kind of running list about what everyone eats and doesn't eat then act like policemen if you even dare to try it one day. :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad:

So.. I prefer to say "I don't want that".. "I don't like that"

Actually, mentally both of these phrases work better for me anyway. Cause the more I say it the more I know it is true. I don't want it.

Originally Posted by Glory87:
Oh yeah, I have relaxed the "I don't eat that" rule significantly now that I'm in maintenance mode. It was just really helpful to me in situations like you've described. I don't do moderation well. Splitting a dessert in a restaurant is one thing, an open bag of mint milanos is another.

Could you ask your sister to help you be accountable? You say you need this job because of money. Tell your sister if you eat her stuff, she gets to charge you for it. Knowing that you're burning all the cash you're making babysitting if you eat those Dorito's might help keep you out of it. If it's a null sum cash proposition, you might as well stay home and avoid the temptation!

I'd end up OWING her money!!! :lol:

She would never let me do that though.

Originally Posted by wyllenn:
2) I liken it to money. I can't afford everything I want to by. Some things are not affordable. Candy bars are like that now. Just not affordable. Maybe if I save up... :)

Wyllenn, this is such a great analogy. I thought you said it particularly eloquently in this post:

http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/show...t=89917&page=2

Originally Posted by wyllenn:
I am mindful of my money all the time, and it doesn't bother me. I think the difference is I have a better sense of how to spend my money and keep out of trouble (debt), but don't yet know how to spend my calories and keep out of trouble (decent weight). I guess I feel like I could go further into debt again -- after all, I'm not out of "weight debt" yet!

Harpo, I think for me it's a matter of mood and timing. Some days I feel like eating a candy bar is the furthest thing from my mind, yet other days I'd sacrifice a limb to be able to have some chocolate. Currently, I do my best to say away from it all. Some day I think I will be able to incorporate small amounts, but right now it's too addictive for me.

Keep us posted on how you choose to handle it, what works etc.

Would you feel the same way if you were somewhere else and that food was around or is it because it is at your sister's? Would you feel the same way if you were around this stuff but in someone else's home, or perhaps some other situation? Is it intrinsically the food or perhaps something about being at your sister's?

For me, the degree to which I am tempted to binge is directly correlated to how uncomfortable I am in a situation or how emotional I am about something. Sometimes I don't even realize something is bothering me until I reach for food and then start to question my motivation. Is there something about being at your sister's house that bothers you enough to want to numb yourself with food about it? This may not be the case for you at all - it may be purely the fact that stuff is there. We all eat for different reasons.

Originally Posted by Jayde:
So.. I prefer to say "I don't want that".. "I don't like that"

It's interesting you say that, because now that I replay those moments, I wonder which is more accurate that I tell myself.. "I don't eat that" or "I don't want that". I definitely don't think I say "I don't LIKE that" because I know that's not true. But I might say "That isn't helpful to you."

As you said, very interesting to see what works and doesn't work for all of us! I have such a better appreciation for different paths from reading these boards.

phantastica -- Oh, I'm glad you thought to link to that other post. It WAS more eloquent! :D I should write it down to remember it for the future! :)

Originally Posted by NotTheCheat:
Would you feel the same way if you were somewhere else and that food was around or is it because it is at your sister's? Would you feel the same way if you were around this stuff but in someone else's home, or perhaps some other situation? Is it intrinsically the food or perhaps something about being at your sister's?

For me, the degree to which I am tempted to binge is directly correlated to how uncomfortable I am in a situation or how emotional I am about something. Sometimes I don't even realize something is bothering me until I reach for food and then start to question my motivation. Is there something about being at your sister's house that bothers you enough to want to numb yourself with food about it? This may not be the case for you at all - it may be purely the fact that stuff is there. We all eat for different reasons.

I, at first, thought your response was going toward the "since you are comfortable in your sister's house . . ." but it wasn't. I know if I happened to be at someone else's house, I wouldn't eat up all their food like that. But it's because I'm comfortable eating her food and she doesn't care if I eat it. I could actually control myself at someone else's house because I wouldn't want them to notice how much food I ate.

I want to eat it because it's just there. It's not emotional eating. It's "presence of irresistible food" eating.

I'm late to the party
 

I just wanted to say how much I relate to your situation in two ways. 1) When DH and I babysit our niece & nephew (DH's sister's kids), their house is jam-packed with every kind of junk food available (many I never knew existed!) No one in the family is overweight (well, my 6 year-old nephew is just a bit chunky). It is SO hard not to "sample" what they have and both DH and I are prone to it. The reason it's SO hard for me in particular is due to Reason #2. 2) I babysat all through junior high and high school, many, many a Saturday night. My mom was quite restrictive with food (with me, not my brother) and shaming regarding my weight. The main reason I babysat, after the $$, was so I could get the treats I was never allowed at home. I couldn't wait until the kids went to bed so I could stuff myself. So, as you see, the situation you've described and that I find myself in w/my own niece & nephew, is a real set up for me. And I haven't found a great way to deal with it yet, other than to babysit at our house (which isn't possible at the moment b/c my niece is two and won't sleep anywhere but her own bed).

Sorry, I have a tendency to be long-winded and I'm not offering much help. Just wanted to chime in to say "I feel your pain."

Good luck :hug: !

Originally Posted by HarpoChicoGroucho:
Okay, I have a little problem. I babysit my nephews every weekend at my sister's place and her house is overflowing with pure (but delicious) junk I just can't resist. And I made an inventory the last time I was there. This is what she had in her house and every week it's usually similar:

*Leftover pizza or Mcdonald's
*Cracker Jacks
*Chex Mix
*Sour Cream and Cheddar ruffles
*Mint oreos
*Peanut M&M's
*Reese Pieces
*Peanut butter fudge ice cream
*Tator tots
*Honey bunches of oats (old favorite binge food)
*Fudge pop tarts
*butterscotch pudding
*Cheddar cheese
*Mint milanos
*Doritos
*Cheese pringles
*Tortilla chips & salsa
*Sour gummy worms
*Chocolate donuts
*Tub of cookie dough

I can't watch them at my place, and I need the extra money because I'm unemployed right now and I buy my groceries from the money I make babysitting.

Have you considered the fact that you might not be getting enough food in your day, even at your house? If you are buying your groceries with your babysitting $$, maybe you are being too conservative and cut back on food without even realizing it. Just a suggestion.

I live with this temptation everyday. My fiance has an entire large cabinet just for junk food. We stopped buying it when we moved, but he got down to 104 pounds (5'4", small frame, solid muscle, no body fat, normal weight 115-120) and that's just too skinny for him. I can't let him eat just junk - because sugar actually SPEEDS UP his metabolisma and he LOSES WEIGHT eating bags of taffy plus all his real food in a day - but if I take it away the pounds drop off too :dizzy: So I try to get him to eat larger amounts of real food, mostly carbs like pasta.

I keep 1 or 2 items in there for me, and I have to see it several times a day when getting out dishes. I can say no 95% of the time, and the rest of the time it's because I WANT to eat that particular food.

There was a time when the candy aisle of the grocery store scared me stupid, but it doesn't bother me now - I've had to live with it under my nose in my kitchen for the past 3 months. And I've continued to lose, anyway :p

Originally Posted by HarpoChicoGroucho:
I could actually control myself at someone else's house because I wouldn't want them to notice how much food I ate.

So what can you do to make yourself uncomfortable in your sister's house? So far my only idea was webcam in the kitchen and that didn't seem like it would be a great solution. :)

I know what you mean though. I think one of the main things we all need to build is that sense of uncomfortableness based only on ourselves - that it will make us uncomfortable to eat something regardless of who else knows or doesn't know about it.

Lots of great advice! For me, it's all part of the commitment process. The two times I was totally, almost obsessively committed to losing weight, it was almost as if I didn't see the temptations. I hate tomatoes. I could be locked in a room with dozens of them for hours and I'd have to be starving to eat one. I just don't look on them as edible. In those two successful times, I could look at M&Ms or ice cream exactly the same way. They miight as well have been rocks, or covered in slime. I wouldn't eat them.

I've run across several posts today that have reminded me of what worked in past successful attempts (I lost a lot of weight twice, and kept it off, both times, for about five years when job changes brought all the bad old habits back overnight). I'm realizing that I haven't completely made the Commitment because if I were in a room with all of that lovely junk, I'd cave :)

Originally Posted by NotTheCheat:
So what can you do to make yourself uncomfortable in your sister's house? So far my only idea was webcam in the kitchen and that didn't seem like it would be a great solution. :)

I know what you mean though. I think one of the main things we all need to build is that sense of uncomfortableness based only on ourselves - that it will make us uncomfortable to eat something regardless of who else knows or doesn't know about it.

Oooh, webcam . . . hmmm, I'd just go in the bathroom and eat or something. Maybe I can wear a webcam helmet . . .

~~~~

Originally Posted by Xan:
I've run across several posts today that have reminded me of what worked in past successful attempts (I lost a lot of weight twice, and kept it off, both times, for about five years when job changes brought all the bad old habits back overnight). I'm realizing that I haven't completely made the Commitment because if I were in a room with all of that lovely junk, I'd cave :)

Now questioning my Commitment . . . that just might work, thinking that I'll eventually fail if I cave. I should think of it as a test, and if I keep failing the tests, then eventually I'll fail the course. And that's SCARY, because I've come so far.