the "don't become anorexic" comment - 3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community

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Old 06-12-2006, 09:05 AM   #1  
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Default the "don't become anorexic" comment

Ugh! Like someone here has said before, why is it that nobody said to me "don't become obese!" when I weighed more? But now that I'm actually within the "healthy weight" range of the "doctors' charts", they are worried that I'm harming myself? "You're getting too skinny" or "You're not trying to lose more, are you?" comments are SO ANNOYING. I know that many people here will understand the frustration more than anyone else I could complain to. LOL
I feel like even though my mother has lost weight recently, she gives me an up and down look and I feel like hiding. I frequently feel like hiding. Wish I were never heavier to begin with.
Last week, I was out with my mother. The way I've been eating that seems to work for me is to eat smaller amounts more frequently. So before we went out, I had a spinach omelet, then I had a small sandwich. When she suggested we go out to eat, I kinda mentioned that I had just eaten something and she sarcastically said, "well then you can just order a glass of water!" aaaaaargh! And she SAW me eating the sandwich.
I used to love how events and social things were centered around food. Now I hate it. Like I've said before, it's not even that I feel all deprived; it's more the social pressure and feeling like people are watching what you're doing. What is wrong with me that I want to HIDE more now that I'm not heavy?
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Old 06-12-2006, 09:41 AM   #2  
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Dont worry about them, alot of people that make those comments are just jealous of how great you look! So, dont be afraid to go out and have fun at those sort of things. As long as you know youre in your healthy weight range, its none of their concern.
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Old 06-12-2006, 09:55 AM   #3  
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It's fine as long as you KNOW what healthy is. Tell them that.

My mom once told me I was too skinny at one point because I lost a considerable amount of weight, but after I gained it back, she said to me "At your age , I was 90 lbs!" with some sense of pride of something. I said, well mom, I was close right? What do you think this is, a competition? She just looked at me and said nothing. I think that was the last time she mentioned her weight.
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Old 06-12-2006, 10:00 AM   #4  
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Yup! I have gotten those comments too at one point or another!!!

as long as you are feeling good and eating healthy, the the heck with the others...yes easier said than done I know
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Old 06-12-2006, 11:04 AM   #5  
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I know exactly what you mean!!!

I went to the doctor's the other day. Last time I was there, I had lost about 30lbs. The nurse (who happens to be the Dr's wife - so she thinks she's a doctor too..) didn't say too much when I had lost that 30 lbs.

When I went the other day, I had lost about another 15lbs - but have been at the weight I am at now for a good 6 months...and her comment was "Have you lost MORE weight..." Like I am down to 75lbs and totally anorexic! Jeez, I'm 5'7" and 140lbs, I'm not quite wasting away!!!

You would expect better comments from a nurse - Good job you are at a nice healthy weight now.....NOT.

Oh well, I know I'm at a healthy weight and much more comfortable with myself, so who care
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Old 06-12-2006, 11:25 AM   #6  
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i completely agree ! as a child i was completely terrorfied of becoming anarexic. every one would go on about it to me even thought i was a fat kid!! i would never leave food on my plate or refuse a meal hungery or not. to be cuddly was indearing . but to be concerned was the fear that i would loss load of weight and become anarexic. funny!!! i am very big but if i diet people all say the same thing.... "be careful not to lose to much"... anarexia is the fear of becoming obese. is obesity the fear of becoming anarexic?
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Old 06-12-2006, 11:53 AM   #7  
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I think it´s actually kind of nice when somebody worries and says "hey, take care of yourself, you´re getting kind of thin...start slowing it down a little".............but that´s probably because nobody cared enough to tell me that "back when."

I didn´t even find out until later when I was pregnant and at a normal weight that anybody had even thought I was too thin...(which I was)...and it was second hand...

Don´t worry...they mean it well.

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Old 06-12-2006, 01:26 PM   #8  
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I am 5'7 and 148 and get a lot of these comments. I know I am in a healthy weight range. I think everyone was just used to seeing me so much bigger. I am not and never will be anorexic. I love to eat. I still have to watch myself and log my food to keep from going over-board and always will. My family is the worse to say that "you're too skinny" but most of them are larger and a little jealous. My doctor set my weight goal at 150 and he is very happy with my weight.
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Old 06-12-2006, 02:03 PM   #9  
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I haven't heard the anorexic comment (I did years ago, but that's because I was starving myself and people were justly concerned) but I've heard things like, "Do you really think you NEED to lose anymore weight?" (because most people think I don't) and things like, "Don't get TOO skinny, now."

I just blow it off.
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Old 06-12-2006, 09:27 PM   #10  
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Originally Posted by veggielover
What do you think this is, a competition?
Do we have the same mother? I think my mom does think everything's a competition.

I get the "you're too skinny" and "you don't need to lose anymore" comments all the time. Yet...I'm NOT within the weight range recommended by PROFESSIONALS. So if they're not professionals, what makes them think they know more than those who are? My goal is set about midpoint of the recommended weight range, and I'm still a few pounds over the max recommendation. Yet just in the last month, I've gotten comments on my face being too thin, not needing to lose anymore weight, on how my post-preg belly won't get any flatter (since this is my second pregnancy and my belly DID get flatter before), etc. etc...all from family. All from those who supposedly "care" about you. It seems those who care sabotage us the most. It may also be a lot of people's reasons for getting overweight in the first place. I know in my case, my family had a huge hand in it.

I love the family get-togethers and such. But I'm also seeing the theme. Once I started dieting, I realized that when I lived near family, the theme was always eating out. I associated anything dealing with church to eating out. Cause that's what we did...went to church, went to eat, went back to church. It was nothing to eat out 3 times on Sunday. And the other theme was all-you-can-eat buffets. My family's big on those. I still haven't completely broken the eat out cycle myself, but I have learned to make healthier choices when eating out. I no longer mimic my dad, who will get the Shoney's salad bar then load an entire plate with one half macaroni and cheese and one half macaroni salad...followed by a plate of bananas in strawberry gelatin (he's diabetic).
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Old 06-13-2006, 03:45 PM   #11  
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That makes me so mad to hear that crap.

Sometime last year I was losing weight on a restrictive diet (not THAT restrictive because I physically can't function on less than 1000 cals a day and won't do less than that) and I had a friend flipping out about how I was "killing myself" (her words!) and that I was being so unhealthy. It actually turned into an argument because I said, "Oh so now that I'm being restrictive at 330lbs I'm being unhealthy and hurting myself, but when I was poking in three times the normal servings for a human being you were cool with it??? It was alright with you when I was on the fast track for an early heart attack but now that I'm doing something about it, you have a problem with that? WHOSE outlook here is faulty???" I was pissed off. I was doubly pissed off because here she was, 115lbs her entire adult life trying to talk to ME about weight issues? Uh uh, I don't think so.

I think once I lose weight down to my goal and someone tells me "Don't go getting anorexia now!" I will punch them.
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Old 06-14-2006, 08:13 AM   #12  
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What is especially infuriating is that I am so far from becoming anorexic. I mean, I'm at maintenance now and it's tricky because I'm trying to figure out how much I need to consume to maintain my weight, and I waver a bit up and down by a few pounds because I'm trying to adjust. I'm always eating at LEAST 1800-2000 calories a day and I hardly think that's anorexic. Isn't that the calorie level that nutrition labels are based on? I mean, what is so WRONG with what I'm doing? Yet, I always feel like around my family, I want to run and hide myself, like they're looking at me like I'm doing something awful. I do NOT want to be fat anymore. Is there something wrong w/that? Most people in my family have had minor weight problems; nothing morbidly obese, and sometimes struggle with it a bit. There's no reason for any of it to be jealousy. It's probably the comparison thing. In comparison to my previous size, maybe I look so different? I really hate the "don't get too skinny" crap. I mean, I honestly don't think people mean it to be harmful at all, but I wish they'd realize that it really is harmful to me, and the way I'd rather deal with my weight/eating issues is to simply keep to myself and not talk about it. Like I've said before, lots of people have issues-it's just that the weight one is one that's SO visible!
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Old 06-14-2006, 08:25 AM   #13  
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I agree the comments are frustrating... when I lost weight before and was at 170 pounds... a good weight for me as I am so tall and built large... people started making the anorexic comments. Finally I started saying, "I weight 170 pounds!!!" That kind of stopped them in their tracks! Anyway, yah it is frustrating BUT best to just let the stupid comments roll right on off.

One thing though... obviously you are in a healthy weight range so this does not apply... but a LOT of people ARE overdoing the diet thing and ARE becoming anorexic. So sometimes the efforts by others to prevent it are justified.
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Old 06-14-2006, 11:46 PM   #14  
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last time i heard that comment when i was a teenager, i actually did have a problem. wouldn't have made a difference though.

people do mean well and being healthy is often termed as having meat on your bones. its strange how things work really. obesity is at its all time high, and yet people are content to encourage those around them to keep some meat on the bones.

i think it comes down to security. if you lose the weight, will you find new friends? will you leave me? what will i have to offer you? or perhaps "who is going to eat the junk food with me?". Its an excuse.

the term anorexic is being used too loosly these days. if some one is thin, they aren't just thin, they must have a problem and be anorexic.

i think as an overweight person we sometimes forget how it can be for someone who is naturally underweight or looks too thin. they would get more comments about their weight than an overweight person would.

you just have to reassure them that you are fine, you are in control and are healthy.
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Old 06-15-2006, 02:11 AM   #15  
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Oh no, My DH just said "honey, your legs are so thin and knees so bony that you look anorexic". Then he said, "I know you aren't and that you eat healthy but you look it". I showed him my tummy and he shut up. LOL
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