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Old 06-10-2006, 11:13 PM   #1  
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Default Sisters...



I love my sisters to death, they're some of my best friends (besides my brother and my cousin and my other friend...lol!) But i cant discuss anything relating to diets or weight with them because they say everything i am doing and everything i believe about food is wrong.

Ive been doing calorie counting, and have lost 12 lbs so far. They keep telling me that calorie counting doesnt work/ isnt necessary. I also mentioned to one that i have a problem with eating when im bored, and she tells me, there is no such thing as boredom eating. Which, i know for a fact there is, since im the one who has the problem!! I cant even give them my weight loss as proof because they tell me that the number on the scale doesnt matter, its the inches that count (which i have lost inches as well)

I mean, they have different views on weight loss than i do, but i respect their opinons, im not saying they're wrong, im just saying that im gonna stick with what is working for me and what is getting me results. (Obviously what they're doing isnt working that well, since they arent exactly slim. Which isnt bad, but you know what i mean)

They think, well they're older (one is 27, one is 24), so they know better, I'm just a teenager and i will learn in time. You'd think they could just give me a little support. I guess thats what i have a mother for...

Of course, i just made them sound like total asses (maybe im not allowed to say that? lol), when in reality they are very funny, awesome people that i love hanging out with, but i cant talk to them about this...uggh

Sorry this was so long i just needed to vent i guess.

Alicia

Last edited by cardsfan2009; 06-10-2006 at 11:19 PM.
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Old 06-10-2006, 11:17 PM   #2  
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Alicia -- That's what makes this place so great. I think all of us have lots of people in real life who don't "get it" and they can be really really frustrating. I try to just keep things to myself around the people who don't get it and come and talk here, a lot!!

Sorry you have such frustrating sisters. Maybe they will come around when they see your success, but don't let that be your motivation -- cause maybe they won't!
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Old 06-11-2006, 12:24 AM   #3  
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I can definitely know what you mean about sisters. I have 2 of them and the older one is good about my weight loss. But, she's having marital troubles and has no energy to talk or be much support at this time. She lost about 45 lbs. at least 8 yrs. ago and has kept most of it off. She still looks great. My younger sister is over-weight and she tells me "you've went over-board and are a little too skinny now". She used to be the smallest of us 3 and now she isn't and I know it bothers her. I am worried about her high blood pressure. Anyway , you have lost 12 lbs. and that is great. Keep doing exactly what you have found that works for you. Good luck with your weight loss journey. A sisters love is for a life-time so take the weight loss talks with a grain of salt and remember they love you and want to help.
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Old 06-11-2006, 02:49 AM   #4  
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Just shrug it off. During my weight loss adventures, I have lost count of the number of people who have a better way of doing it -- "You should try THIS plan, not the one you are on" -- or a better way of measuring progress -- "it's the INCHES, not the weight!", or "but you aren't exercising enough", or "you are exercising too much" . Smile, nod, agree if you have to, but do what is working for you!
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Old 06-11-2006, 09:51 AM   #5  
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I say sit and smile sweetly and nod your head and totally ignore them.
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Old 06-11-2006, 10:44 AM   #6  
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This might be another case where patience is a virtue. My SIL is a personal trainer. For a couple of years she didn't even listen to my whole answer before she started shaking her head no.

The other day she told me I looked fabulous. When I hugged her and said "That means so much coming from you." She didn't understand what I meant.

I also have a sister who is very competitive. I've learned that I just curb my enthusiasm for my own accomplishments and listen to her. All she wants is praise.
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Old 06-11-2006, 04:08 PM   #7  
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Well, you've said that what you are doing is working for you and what they are doing isn't working so well for them. Perhaps there is just a little jealousy at work here. I would smile and go about whatever works for you.

IMO, the advice they are giving you isn't very sound. Calories DO matter. I don't care about your carb/protein/fat ratio, or how much you are exercising, or whether you only eat when you are physically hungry and stop as soon as you are satisfied, if you eat more calories than your body needs - you will gain weight, period. You could eat nothing but ice cream (although I wouldn't recommend it) and still lose weight if you burn more calories than you consume. On the other hand, if you eat 3500 calories of whole grains, fruits, vegetables, low fat dairy, and lean protein while you are only burning 2000 calories in your lifestyle - you will gain weight, despite the fact that your diet is healthy.

Listen to your body, not your sisters.
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Old 06-11-2006, 06:51 PM   #8  
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The only "better" way to lose weight is the way that works for you. That way may not be the same as the way that works for your sisters. If their way doesn't help you lose weight, then it's not better for you.
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Old 06-12-2006, 04:01 AM   #9  
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I've lost 25 pounds and gone from a size 14 to a size 6 through calorie counting and exercise. I started exercising first and didn't begin to lose weight until I started counting calories. You are doing great; ignore your sisters and keep doing what you are doing.

When I started out, I was very resistent to the idea of counting calories. It seemed like so much work and I was worried I wouldn't get enough to eat (and I wanted to be able to keep eating whatever I wanted). Maybe your sisters feel the same way and don't want to admit that what you are doing is working, because then they would have to admit that what they are doing isn't working. When they tell you calorie counting doesn't work, they might be trying to convince themselves of this as much as they are trying to convince you of it.
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Old 06-12-2006, 01:15 PM   #10  
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Give it a few more months and let them see more changes in you and soon enough they will be asking you what your plan is and wanting to know all about it so they can try the same. It is a learning experience we all try to learn from each other, and we are all re-learning every day
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Old 06-15-2006, 12:24 AM   #11  
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Thanks everyone, i feel better about everything.
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Old 06-15-2006, 08:13 AM   #12  
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I also agree that maybe you just shouldn't talk to them about this issue. That is what "we" are all here for.

It is hard to talk with someone about emotional eating, or boredom eating (I struggle with the same issues...) to someone who doesn't have it. My husband is this way, for one. He talks fitness with me, because we both exercise, etc.-but he just doesn't understand the emotional eating/boredome eating issues-and why having a bad day can send me over to the couch with a pint of Ben & Jerrys.

The way that I finally got him to "get it" was to realize that he used to be a smoker...and still has bouts of cravings (not every day, but usually when we are at a party or gathering where there is alcohol served-a drink or two tends to "bring on the cravings" for him even after years of not smoking.) This is how I finally got him to "understand". I explained to him that a food addiction is the same as someone with a smoking addiction, alcohol addiction, or what have you.

What I also explained to him, though, is that a smoker can avoid being around cigarettes-not buying them, not going to bars, etc. where there is smoking-and the same for alcoholics. (Obviously you can't avoid these things 100%, but you can avoid a lot of these situations.)

What I explained to him that was so hard, was the fact that we cannot avoid food. We simply can't. We have to eat, we have to buy food, we have to attend holiday gatherings and weddings and other situations where mounds of food are present-and it is a huge struggle. I explained to him that walking through the Little Debbie and ice cream sections of the grocery store would be like having an alcoholic walk through a winery, and then a liquor store.

He has finally "gotten" it when I explained it that way. I also explained to him that I have certain "triggers" to send me off on a binge-just like he does with smoking (having a drink, or being in a social environment/party where there is smoking...) and that having a sugary white carb like a donut is setting me up for a binge later...or going to long without a healthy snack and getting too hungry is also asking for a binge. He understands now.

There are certain things that other people who can't relate are not going to understand about weight problems-especially if they don't have one. This is why 3FC is so great-it is our support group, filled with people who understand.
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Old 06-15-2006, 10:37 AM   #13  
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Aphil -- The other thing that's great about this place is all the resources and explanations! Thanks for explaining how you got your husband to "get" it -- I may be able to use that with someone else!
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Old 06-15-2006, 11:30 AM   #14  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mudbugs
I say sit and smile sweetly and nod your head and totally ignore them.
Ha ha ha! Ex-act-ly!

And yes, the proof is in the pudding ... fat-free, of course, or perhaps it's in the yogurt ... anyway, you're seeing the results that *you* want to see, so they can just be quiet now or forever be ignored on this topic. I can't turn to my sister (or any family members) for weight-loss support, either.

Get your support from people who aren't envious of your success. Either a support group, some true friends, or us here at 3FC.
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Old 06-15-2006, 11:41 AM   #15  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cardsfan2009


Ive been doing calorie counting, and have lost 12 lbs so far. They keep telling me that calorie counting doesnt work/ isnt necessary.
Oh yeah? Gee, I guess I've been doing it wrong all this time. I guess maybe those 80 pounds just decided to get up and walk out the door on their own.

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