I just want to burst into tears. I feel like crap. I hate myself because I'm fat. I am fat because I eat too much. I eat too much because I hate myself. See the cycle??? Today I had a doctors appointment for a checkup and in the past two months I have gained back twenty pounds. I know I have a eating problem but I can't seem to get past it. I seriously hate how I look. I don't fit into any of my pre-pregnancy clothes and I can't go out and drop money on a new "fat" wardrobe. I want to lose weight but I am an emotional eater.

First of all, you CAN lose weight. You've proven that already. Sometimes, though, I think we get too caught up in the "why" of our weight problem. We apply labels like "emotional eating" and spend so much time trying to figure out why we feel the way we do and how we got trapped in the cycle you described that we fail to concentrate on the basics. Like calories in vs. calories out, exercise, and healthy food choices.

I'm not suggesting that it isn't important to get to the root of our problems so that they can be solved or managed. But, in the meantime, we must do what we have to do...eat less, move more. I know that this can be easier said than done but that doesn't change the fact that it can be done. Our weights are often complicated issues but I still think that we over overthink the entire process. Losing weight is hard - but we often make it harder than it has to be.

Maybe, just for now, you could make yourself look at your weight loss with tunnel vision. Get going by focusing on just the basics of losing weight, counting calories and exercising...or whatever it is that works for you. Then as you find yourself in a routine (it doesn't take long) you can start tackling the tougher issues like your emotional eating and self loathing. I KNOW these two things are a burden to many of us. But, too many times we use them as an excuse not to push ourselves outside our comfort zones. To be perfectly honest, when I read your last sentence ("I want to lose weight but I am an emotional eater") it sounded a lot like a crutch. I don't doubt that emotional eating is a problem for you (and many others) but that doesn't mean you have to let it keep you from reaching your goals.

I completely agree. I do use that as a crutch. That way I feel like I don't have to face the reprocussions of my actions. Oh I ate because I was upset/sad/mad/unhappy/depressed etc. I do need to just pick my pouty lip off the floor and get to it. Nothing else to it.

Well, it really only popped out at me because it was so ME. LOL. For years I considered myself an emotional eater and I wrote it off as the reason I was overweight. Then it hit me. I didn't get fat just overeating when I was upset or depressed. I was overeating when I was happy too! I had to face the fact that I wasn't an emotional eater...I was just an eater. Period. Certainly emotions play a role in our weight as food can be the ultimate comfort in times of stress. Still, I had to face the fact that I like to eat no matter what and then made a conscious choice not to eat as much.

I realized this was the case for me when I noticed that everytime I reached for seconds at the dinner table I made some emotional announcment. So and So made me angry today, I've been so depressed this week, etc. It occured to me that, even if there was a grain of truth to those revelations, I was really saying them out loud because I KNEW I didn't need the extra food, I knew the family knew I didn't need the extra food, so concocting some reason for getting more let me pretend that it wasn't my fault I was eating too much. Being fat wasn't MY fault. Oh, no, somebody or something CAUSED me to be that way. Pretty clever, huh? LOL.

babygrant ... It could have been me who had written your post word for word! I feel exactly the same way that you do right now ... I'm full of self loathing and constantly blaming my weight problems on the fact that I'm an "emotional eater". But how true Lucky's comments are ... I'm not fat simply because I'm an emotional eater ... I'm fat because I'm down right greedy and constantly overeating, whatever my emotional state of mind ... It's not just when I'm angry/sad/depressed or whatever ... I do it ALL the time!! I'm constantly starting diets. I do well for a few days ... then WHAM! I start to pig out ... and if I'm honest with myself, it's for no particular reason. I always question myself afterwards as to what made me do it ... then I blame it on the "emotional eating problem"! What kind of an excuse is that? I never had this problem years ago ... I'm happily married with two great kids and a job that I love ... why would I have emotional problems?! I guess it's just another lame excuse to cover up the fact that I've got no willpower and I'm lazy!

On the 8th May I started yet another diet and lost 6lbs in the first week ... since then, I've gained, lost, stayed the same, and gained again ... I'm now back to where I started! This is the story of my life over the past few years! I know I have to break the cycle ... I'm just trying to figure out how to do it!

ladies-- here's what i tell myself when i get caught in periods of self-loathing:
1. hating myself is not going to make me thinner
2. what can i do today to help? exercise- eat clean- drink water- get enough sleep--> this is like the "tunnel vision" approach mentioned by Lucky.
3. people will be more impressed by my easy smile and positive attitude than a sleek physique.
4. bad moods waste time-- i try my best to take it all into perspective and move on.

this is eays for me to type because i am in a good mood right now, but i definitely know where you are all coming from-- i was there last week!

kate

Sending hugs your way. We all face the same dilema. Just remember to take it one day at a time. I just started yet another program and I keep reminding myself it takes 21 days to make a habit and I can do it for 21 days.

OMG HOW TRUE!!!!! Everytime I get 2nds at dinner I ALWAYS have an excuse for my husband (Oh, I have to eat now because I'm not oging to have a snack later or Oh I'm so hungry or I didn't eat enough lunch).

Anytime I do binge though....it's never in front of anyone else. I make sure my husband is busy with something and DS is playing with his toys and my other DS is sleeping, then I sneek into the kitchen and stuff my face until either I feel satisfied (which ends up making me feel ill) or I can hear someone coming towards the kitchen which I'll then pretend I am actually doing somethign in there.