MIL and what they say
 

Okay I have lost a little more than just a few pounds well this weekend we went to my brother in laws house and my MIL was there. My sister in law said wow you look great and I told her how much I lost and my wonderful MIL steps and and said boy you must of weighed a ton.

Thought I would share her wonderful comment, lol--- got to love MIL

You don't have in-laws! They are outlaws! Don't worry I have them too. I focus on the positive - people are mean if they are jealous. Is this monster heavy? too thin? bad hair, boobs, or clothes? Obviously you looked good even when you were heavier - cause she didn't realize how much you weighed. Whatever you are doing you're doing it right!!!!

"Well, I wasn't as big as that foot in your mouth." heh heh

You gals are awsome. I was so upset when she said that but now it is kind of funny.

That's what I would think my MIL would say...I have never heard a good comment out of her.

Oh your MIL must know my MIL.
My MIL is always turning my success around to something that she can do even better. I simply smile and walk away. I agree with labelle, I think a lot of it is just jealousy.

You're doing a great job, don't let her get you down

I agree with the other girls. Its most likely jealousy. I know that happens a lot when people lose weight, people around them start being mean to them because they are jealous of the weightloss.

Doesn't make it right, but I know it happens. Keep putting those negative thoughts and vibes your mil is sending out of your mind, Great Job on your Weightloss! :D

*Flady*

WOW! I don't know what to say, I am sorry aobut you guy's MILs I personally love mine. she always has a compliment for me, whether if it is me personally or how cute I did my daughter's hair.

The other night I was on the phone with her and I was telling her how much I loved taking the girls for walks and she told me she was jealous of all my ambition. She said she has so little she will be fat for life. I just told her we would be willing to load of the wagon and come walk with her, she just laughed at me.

I guess it just matters on the people, like I said I love my mother inlaw, but my own mother get's annoyed by her.

Congratulations on the loss you have had, soon she will be eating her words about something.

My MIL has been very encouraging throughout my weight loss, but now acts like I've lost too much. (Since I am smaller than her now). She can't say rude things about my weight anymore, so now she constantly tells me I need a haircut with bangs. I do plan on a new hair-do once I finish my weight loss, along with hi-lights as a gift to myself for getting the weight off. My main problem with MIL is that she thinks I should have a perfect "old Lady" wardrobe like hers. She told me that anyone over 35 should never wear shorts unless they are tanned and perfectly toned. I try to just ignore her and wear whatever I feel comfortable in.

I used to have an evil, evil MIL from my first marriage. She was the worst. She acted like I was a virus come to infect her son and it was her job to get rid of me. I guess she won because I got divorced. (He wasn't any better.)

Now I'm married to a wonderful, caring, supportive man and have an equally wonderful MIL. She even appologized for her mother asking me if I had gained weight. (This was a few years ago.) My MIL lost a bunch of weight a couple years ago so she knows how hard it is and what an accomplishment it can be. I'm very lucky that she is so nice.

But I definately know what it's like to have rude comments made. I'm sorry that she said that to you. Try not to let it get to you. If she doesn't stop, either talk to her about it (the nice path to take), or make some rude comment back (the bad path to take).

NICE COMMENT!!! your MIL is such a cow. Don't people realize how hurtful their comments can be? I think I would have made a snappy comment back....like....."oh, how nice of you to say that?" or...."you know, if you haven't anything nice to say then don't say it, please"

I had an experience this past Christmas with my inlaws visiting......FIL noticed and said, "wow you look great, really wonderful!! " and MIL said..."what? oh yeah....you do! " So? did she really notice or just casually comment that she agreed? I have a really hard time figuring her out so I just took her comment with a grain of salt and beamed with joy that FIL noticed first!!!

lol!!!!!!

I'd give my left arm to be a little fly on the wall to see that one.

My MIL had gastric bypass surgery several years ago, she can be the understanding one at times. My mother is the one with some of the comments. She just doesn't realize what it is like to be heavy. Of course this is a woman who says she is fat if she has to put on a pair of size 8 jeans.

She's just jelious. I get comments like that sometimes too!

This thread cracks me up. :rofl:

I can relate. my MIL is good hearted, but sometimes her comments and things that she says...it is like she doesn't think about how people will feel before she spits them out. :lol:

After my first child I was at 200 pounds, and I was at that point, pretty close to my goal weight of 150-I think I had made it to about 160 at the time that she made this comment after a few months of hard, hard work.

I was cutting her hair (cosmetology license), and throughout the past 6-8 months, not one word had ever been said about my weight. (I had went from a size 18/20 to about a 14.) I had recently gotten my hair cut off shorter, and she made the comment to me that my haircut "made my face look a lot thinnner." I casually mentioned that I didn't think it was the haircut...that maybe it was the 40 POUNDS. :rofl:

I have learned to live with it. At least we only see her once a year. I feel bad becuase it is my DH mother but, it is hard sometimes for him to take care.

You guys crack me up!! Good advice though!!! My DMIL passed away a few yrs. ago to cancer. I loved her dearly, but sometimes she said things quickly without thinking. I know some she didn't mean to hurt and some she did. I just took it from the source it came from and moved on. One time we were at an Athletic Banquet for my daughter at school and she was sitting across from an old friend of hers and he was complementing me for my daughter being "beautiful". My MIL stepped in and said-"oh she doesn't get that from her mother-she gets it from MY side of the family!!!" I was SOOOO annoyed, but instead of embarassing myself or her-I got up and left for a few minutes to cool off. Anyway, I hated the comment and she knew I was angry, so I just acted like I could have cared less and she got my point.
But I would have just killed her with kindness and said with a SMILE "why yes I have-how nice of you to notice".

My boyfriend's mother is WONDERFUL. She's so supportive and wants me to be happy. She truely is a blessing in my life. Her mother on the other hand.... *grumbles*

I gained weight from the first time that she saw me, and when she saw me the 2nd time she INSISTED that I was pregnant. She was like, "Are you SURE that you're not pregnant?!"

Ergh... Of course... she's skinny as a beanpole.

something tells me I might not like the idea of marriage one day...

Dude, veggie, I'm NOT looking forward to marriage if **** on earth MILs are to be dealt with. There's more negative than positive here! Sigh. Don't these MILs realize that THEY once had MILs and they should kinda, maybe sorta NOT be so mean so they can end the mean ol' MIL stereotype? Sheesh...

omg, I love this thread.. hehe

Everytime I see my boyfriends mother she tells me about how she's going to start exercising/dieting again, which I don't mind hearing.. but it's hard to hear the same thing over and over again.. The best ever though... she knew I was looking to buy a treadmill or elliptical trainer, she sent me a text msg because she was getting rid of her treadmill and asked me if I wanted it, I texted her back after I was done work, and by the time I got home she'd already sold it to someone else. I was SO upset, I really wanted that treadmill, and she KNEW how much I wanted it too. I would have even paid for it. Grrr!!!

-Aimee

swimgirl.....I made the mistake of letting my MIL know about a downfilled ski vest I wanted to buy my husband. MIL said she was going shopping and wouldn't mind picking it up as I had described perfectly. She then wrapped it and gave it to him ....from herself!!!! Pissed me right off!!!! Of course that was just at the beginning of the marriage, now? I would let her have it. I never said boo about it, but boy was I mad. hehe...everytime dh wears the downfilled ski vest I make some comment about.....hmm, thats a really nice vest. where did you get that? and we both have a good laugh about it.

Wow glad I'm not alone. I love my mil, but she too has the "Foot in the Mouth Disease". She speaks before thinking ALL the time.

and then another christmas, which has nothing to do with my weight, but just another MIL story, she gave me her USED 13 year old vaccume cleaner for my Christmas present!!! Nothin says lovin...!"Quote

You got to Love them don't WE?hehehehe

You would think on how they were treated by their MIL they would understand but I guess it is just normal. I wonder what my DH thinking about my mom and dad. HUMMMM

Mel....OH NO SHE DIDN'T!!! hehe...:rofl: that is soooo funny, I mean not funny ha ha....but funny you gotta laugh or you would cry!!! My MIL gave me something that resembled a denim smock with patch pockets one year and I sold it at a yard sale the next week!!! I did bring it into work to show my coworkers and we all had a laugh and thought how subconsciously she wanted me to be pregnant again!!

OK, so I don't get along the greatest with my MIL, but she is basically a good person. She does, however, suffer from diarrhea of the mouth like other MILs that have been described. Her lips move before her brain catches up, really. I lost 50 lbs a few years ago. She had really been complimentary about it, then she asks "how much have you lost total?" I replied " Oh about 50 lbs or so." As if I hadn't counted every single stinkin' pound. Then she days, "50 lbs?! But you still have so much more to lose!!"

ouch. That's all I have to say! :dizzy:

R U sure your MIL is not mine....

I couldn't resist sharing this story after reading this thread...

Luckily, my boyfriend's mom is very cool and we can talk about weight stuff without her making weird comments. We even did the South Beach diet together for awhile. BUT...his great aunt (who has been like a mom to him) is another story. Sometimes I wonder if she knows what she's saying and is trying to be mean, or if she is just clueless. On to the story...

One day when we were over her house (this was back when we still lived in the same state as she does), she wanted to show me a skirt she bought on sale without trying it on first. She said she didn't feel like trying it on and it was a really good bargain, so she bought it. It was a size 12 (my size) and she is normally more like a size 10. Well...she was laughing and said that she should have tried on the skirt first because it was so HUGE. She was laughing the whole time. She goes and gets the skirt and is basically carrying on about how HUGE it is and how funny it was that she even bought it in the first place. Yeah...that made me feel just great. Oh, and she knew that I'm a size 12, too. By the way...this was all while my boyfriend was fixing something for her upstairs. She never acts like this when he's around.

OK...one more story I just thought of. Back when I was doing the South Beach diet, my boyfriend's great aunt seemed fascinated with the whole thing and kept asking me lots of questions about it. She was thinking of doing the diet too, and she talked about diets she had tried in the past. Now, this woman doesn't really need to lose weight, and she knows that. In fact, she'd ask me about the diet every once and awhile, and when I was done answering her questions, she'd say, "Well, I'm not fat" basically saying that I was!! Grrr... I never got that...why ask me about the diet and then say that??!!

LOL Beth! A geographic impossibility. Maybe they're long lost evil twins? :s: Whaddya think? :D

My MIL and I don't get along AT ALL. :mad:

She's an extremely critical person anyway and lives to pick everyone apart (gee, what a happy person she must be!) and is generally one of the most hateful people I've ever known between her racism, xenophobia, homophobia and general belief that she sits well above everyone she meets. Well of course, she started in on me about my weight. She told me I was too fat and that I "let" her son get too fat (he only gained 7lbs after moving in with me, geez!) and that I need to make him eat better because we're both too fat and she doesn't want a fat son or daughter in law! She is NOT subtle, let me tell you. She said a few other appalling things but my brain tries hard to block it out. I said a few choice words including, "Look, woman: those who live in FAT HOUSES shouldn't throw stones" and "Your son -- who might I remind you is also MY husband -- is a grown man and decides for himself what he's going to do with his weight... do I look like f'ing June Cleaver to you?" That was the nicer sentences I strung together that evening. She was banned from my house at that very moment until she could respect me and shut up with her criticizing me (it's not only my weight she critisized, that was just the bad button). So far, she's not gotten any further invites and that was 2 years ago. So now she's all buddy buddy with her other daughter in law who is not only exactly like her, but bent to the will of the MIL and got gastric bypass because the MIL convinced her she was a fat slob and was disgracing the family. Such a lovely lady, isn't she?

She really screwed me up that day, though I would rather die than ever let her get the satisfaction of knowing she got to me and I reverted back to bulimia and binge/restrict cycles after her BS. I had been doing ok with my eating disorder for well over a year until her. I have yet to get it back in control like it was before she opened her big mouth. It was like opening a flood gate.

Thank goodness that woman lives 1500 miles away or I would divorce the hubby on grounds that his mother is the anti-christ. :mad:

OMG!!!! I'm soooo sorry about your MIL. Can anyone be that crude, obnoxious and hateful? I guess so!!! Please don't let her get any satisfaction by knowing she's adversely affected you....and please be careful with your disorder. Try to stop it now before it really gains a foothold and consumes you. Take care:hug:

MadScientist (love the name)
I could swear you were talking about my father's lovely bride! I too let this woman let me get out of control by the word she used to hurt me. What I realized is that she hurts everyone form the guy bagging the groceries to the person she is suppose to love, my father.
She has said some winners over the years to me and my kids especially my dad. She picks on him about everything that goes into his mouth, orders for him at a restaurant and calls him a slob of he gets crumbs on anything especially himself.
We were at a local amusement park and she told a woman with a child having a temper tantrum it was a no tantrum zone and could she please shut the kid up.
She told my whole family that my son would be having hi Bar Mitzvah in Israel because my dad was going to pay so she was looking forward to planning it.
She told my brother's wife who was pregnant that the reason she and my dad chose not to have kids was because they are o much trouble.
I don't let her get to me anymore for a variety of reason; the most important is that people like her need to make people feel bad so they can feel good. If I let her make me feel bad than she gets what she wants and to me it is no longer and option.
Don't let this woman get to you, it gives her power over your life,