For those of you who feel deprived at social gatherings, don't be peer-pressured into eating something against your diet plans.
Recently, I went to a health-advocates group meeting. Most of the attendees were women around my age (19-21) and like most of the students on campus, they're rather careless of what they stick in their mouths because at such an age, they feel as if they're immortal. They were serving pizza at the meeting, but I proudly brought my own 6 oz container of whole wheat pasta lightly smothered in tomato sauce. While everyone gobbled away at the pizza, a box of chocolate chip cookies passed around the table. Everyone took a cookie from the box (each were 120 calories a piece, about 80 from fat alone. And these weren't big cookies!). I didn't bother with them, but I noticed one girl LITERALLY struggling to pass it on to the next person. I knew she wanted to lose weight for some time already, and she tried to make health-conscious decisions. Clearly the atmosphere wasn't encouraging! This was a health advocates meeting! Everyone chanted on " Eat one! You KNOW you want one!" She tried so hard not to look at the box, and finally I said something.
I told her "You really don't need to feel deprived. It's not as if your losing anything by NOT having the cookie. If you want to make healthy decisions, you'll have to listen to yourself carefully, rather than get suckered into having one JUST BECAUSE everyone is having a cookie. It's just a cookie and it can't control you." I got numerous negative responses; because all the women present had a cookie, they felt as if I was offending them by implying that the cookie wasn't a smart choice. All I wanted to do was to let the girl know that in social settings, being social doesn't mean that one must do everything
everyone else does. And this was a horrible environment to be in, for a dieter! Literally everyone encouraged her to have the cookie even if she wasn't sure she wanted it, just because.
I believe that moderation is good, but its only a good choice if you really want it- and I mention this story because I want others to know that there IS PEER PRESSURE in dieting, and most importantly, not to get suckered into it. Most of the times I hear from my friends "Oh come on! You're a stick! You can afford to have a cheeseburger!" even if I wasn't in the mood to eat anything close to a cheeseburger, and I told myself that I would never ever again eat anything just to please other people or make them feel better because they don't want to feel any guilt when they see me make healthy choices.
Anyone else want to share a similar peer-pressure stories?
Hey, I know what you mean, veggielover. It seems like women are always talking about how they need to lose weight and want to lose weight, and then in practically the next second they are chowing down and giggling about it, like it's some kind of naughty game we're playing, tee hee, let's be "bad" and have "fun"!
And then sometimes we talk behind each other's backs about it. "Oh, did you see how many cookies she ate?"
Women, we have to have more respect for ourselves. We're not a bunch of acting-out little girls anymore. I would love to see a women's gathering where eating "bad" foods was not part of the scene. Being overweight is no joke.
peer pressure is tough..very tough..when friends around u wear all these stylish and sexy clothes, and ur stuck with a baggy t-shirt and the oh-so-same jeans.. its often frustrating and very lonely.. i agree that moderate eating is the best, and that exercise is a NEED for the body to be always healthy~
Jay, it's funny you mention bad foods being in the scene. The problem with the meeting was that it was INTENDED for those who CARE about their health. Yet, to appease the majority to come to the meeting, they HAD to serve pizza and cookies! I just wished that everyone cared so that it dieting and eating healthy wouldn't be "out of the norm". Because I think that if I went out to eat with my friends, if even 1 other person orders a salad, I'd order a salad and be satisfied. HOwever, if everyone orders 1/2 rack of ribs, it just looks so out of place if I have a salad!!!
But you are absolutely right. We are women, more mature than we were before in the teen years, and health is a more serious issue. I'm so glad this community has the same relative goal; to change our diets so that we can be healthy for the rest of our lives.
Yeah, what bugs me is the women chanting, "Have a cookie!" When they all saw the lady struggling. I mean, that behavior is cruel!
Good for you for helping this woman instead of encouraging her to hurt herself.
Sometimes women are nasty to each other... Those mean women probably wanted to make themselves feel better by watching another woman fail. How sad.
Peer pressure story... yeah, it's hard to eat healthy when everyone else is splurging. One great memory I have is when I was in a group of ladies who were all doing weight watchers. We had pizza -- but it was a healthy veggie pizza, and we all supported each other in sticking to one or two pieces. That was supportive situation.
I have a (sortof) friend who is doing this same thing to me right now. We started watching our weight together, thinking it'd be easier for both of us if we supported one another and worked together. Well, long story short, I've lost weight much faster than she has (partially because I am more strict to my diet, and partially because of genetics, I think..), and I get the feeling lately that she's a bit jealous (no judgment, I would probably be jealous, too...).
However, that jealousy is manifesting itself through her offering me all kinds of things she knows I won't eat right now, and telling me that I go to the gym too much, etc.
It sometimes seems that women want other women to fail because it validates their own failures from time to time. And especially if the one doing the offering is slimmer than the one who is trying hard to resist, it sometimes seems like the skinnier girl just wants to make sure that her "fat friend" doesn't start to look better than she does.
Perhaps this idea is far too paranoid, but anyway, it seems to be sort of the case in my particular situation.
I guess the only solution is to see these types of things for what they are, and remember that you have a higher goal for yourself, and you can't be controlled by a cookie, a soda, a slice of pizza, or a throng of unsupportive "friends"...
aerotigergirl, I don't think you're being paranoid at all... seems you hit the nail on the head.
I have a weird peer pressure story... Whenever I have been on a diet pretty much all my friends are respectful AND supportive. However, the person always trying to get me to cheat...is MY DAD! My dad has always been overweight too...but he went on adkins and lost a lot of weight, even then he didn't want me to diet. We would go out to eat and I'd ordered a chicken salad he kept saying "Eat this, eat that...have some dessert" It was so hard...he is my dad!! Then I find out ...from my grandma that when I was a little girl ...like 2 or 3...he used to say "come on Christina lets go pig out" and he'd keep telling me to eat until i almost puked. This made me so mad and whenever I tell him "dad i want this so bad i am tired of being unheathy and fat" He would say "Christina, it is in your genes ...you'll always be fat ..start to love it"
Kinda upsets me ...I dunno. So there you have it my weird peer pressure story!
I think that having a "diet buddy" is a risky proposition. Yes, is can be very nice to have someone in the trenches with you, who knows how hard it is and with whom you can share tips, stories, successes, and trip-ups. But if (when) one person starts to have a greater rate of success than the other person, then there can be a sense of resentment, jealousy, and even abandonment building up.
I sorta had the same thing happen at work, to a lesser degree. Right around the time my weight loss became apparent to other people, when I had lost about 30 pounds, one of my coworkers told me all about how she was on the slimfast diet and had lost 25 pounds or so. I told her I was free-forming eating less and exercising more, and we always asked each other how the other was doing. Then, well, she fell off her diet, and I didn't fall off mine. I won't say things are strained between us, but I did get some resentment vibes from her, at least for a short while.
I'm dieting for me, by me, and when it really comes down to it, it doesn't matter what other people think of the process I have to adhere to to acheive this. My body, my choice, my business, and no one elses.
One thing I hate is when you're out with a group of people and the decision on dessert seems to hinge on "I'll have one if you do". I then feel really bad because I don't want to deprive someone of having dessert if they really want it just because I say no, but equally I don't want to eat something because I think someone else wants it when everyone is secretly hoping for a reason not to eat it! Why can't we all be allowed to be responsible for our own decisions?!
YP1- Yeah, I know where you are coming from! When my friends and I go out to dinner, there is that same thought around the table that "if you get one, i'll get one." And then if I don't want dessert, they always want to share a dessert. Or if they get a dessert by themselves, and I am eating healthy, they try to push me into taking bites and telling me that I don't need to lose weight. Whenever I go for just a salad, I always get a look. It just aggrovates me because they are my best friends and they should be supporting me!
Peer Pressure Story: Back when I was younger, I couldn't leave the table until I had completely eaten all the food on my plate. It was like they were disappointed if I was full and didn't want anymore..... That did not set me up for healthy eating because I still have that whole fear of wasting food.
I used to talk to this girl I was friends with at that point (thank god we drifted apart in time) about how much I really wanted to lose the extra weight I had on and everytime she would tell me "Omg! Why do you wanna lose weight? You should indulge! You shouldn't care!" Only to later find out that she does her own fair share of chronic calorie-counting and over-excercising.
Once I DID lose the weight, I remember the way she sent me glares (I'm not trying to sound stuck up at all here, girls) and talked to me constantly about her weight, her dumbell workouts and how she never eats dinner anymore.
Unfortunatley, I put the weight back on (but i WILL lose it well this time, and for good!) and now she acts...sort of stuck-up the few times when I'm around her. It's kind of like "hah, you lost weight but you can't even keep it off! how pathetic", its like she's trying to make me feel inferior because I failed.
Anyway, it was more of a story about hypocrisy than peer pressure, I guess. The moral of the story...chose your friends wisely! Don't hang around with people who make you feel bad about yourself...I had to learn that the hard way, though.
i'm afraid i don't have any peer pressure stories that i can think of...but i want to say thank you for sharing yours. it gives us alot of insite into why we do some of the things we do that sabatoge our best efforts. I am sure i face peer pressure everyday...and don't even really think about it too much. i make my choice...good or bad...and just move on with my day. but thank you so much to those of you who shared your stories.
PEER PRESSURE! why not share the stories??
supportive situation. 
